This is my weekly outlook as to who will make the playoffs, who won’t, who will win, and who won’t.
As promised, I’m keeping track of what I say week to week so you can call me out on any bullshit you may see. TODAY, I’ll recap and highlight in BOLD any Wild Card Weekend predictions I got right. In the next few weeks, I will continue making playoff predictions so you may mock me for my crystal balls being cloudy.
Without further ado, TO THE STANDINGS!
AFC
For historical purposes, here are the final regular season standings with my correct predictions in BOLD.
| # | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | Actual |
| 1 | KC | KC | KC | KC | KC | KC | KC |
| 2 | NE | NE | NE | NE | NE | NE | NE |
| 3 | PIT | HOU | HOU | HOU | HOU | HOU | HOU |
| 4 | HOU | PIT | PIT | BAL | PIT | BAL | BAL |
| 5 | LAC | LAC | LAC | LAC | LAC | LAC | LAC |
| 6 | BAL | BAL | BAL | PIT | BAL | IND | IND |
AFC Playoffs
For a “recovering” fan of an AFC team, I really don’t know jack shit about the conference considering I didn’t get anything right. I didn’t get the matchups right until the last week and I did not pick the correct outcomes of either Wild Card game.
Is it because I’m biased and I throw my likes and dislikes in my predicción machine? Probably. Although I did like the Ravens and Steeler fans aren’t supposed to root for division rivals. If only Harbaugh had stopped coaching like his brother earlier in the game.
Oh well. Onward! Here is the table with this week’s predicciones:
| 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | WC | Actual | |
| WC1 | PIT>BAL | PIT>LAC | PIT>LAC | PIT>HOU | PIT>LAC | HOU>IND | HOU>IND | IND>HOU | |
| WC2 | HOU>LAC | HOU>BAL | HOU>BAL | BAL>LAC | BAL>HOU | BAL>LAC | BAL>LAC | LAC>BAL | |
| D1 | NE>PIT | NE>HOU | NE>HOU | NE>BAL | NE>PIT | NE>HOU | NE>HOU | NE>LAC | |
| D2 | KC>HOU | PIT>KC | KC>PIT | KC>PIT | KC>BAL | KC>BAL | KC>BAL | KC>IND | |
| C | NE>KC | NE>PIT | NE>KC | NE>KC | NE>KC | NE>KC | NE>KC | NE>KC |
I still don’t see anything stopping a New England- Kansas City AFC Championship.
NFC
For historical purposes, here are the final regular season standings with my correct predictions in BOLD.
| # | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | Actual |
| 1 | LAR | LAR | LAR | NO | NO | NO | NO |
| 2 | NO | NO | NO | LAR | LAR | LAR | LAR |
| 3 | CHI | CHI | CHI | CHI | CHI | CHI | CHI |
| 4 | DAL | DAL | DAL | DAL | DAL | DAL | DAL |
| 5 | CAR | SEA | SEA | SEA | SEA | SEA | SEA |
| 6 | SEA | CAR | PHI | PHI | PHI | PHI | PHI |
NFC Playoffs
Things are a little different in the NFC where I’ve managed to correctly pick Philly over Chicago for a while now. Somehow someway I also correctly picked Dallas to beat Seattle in Week 14 but that really was a fluke as I pretty much always envisioned the Boys losing in the first game.
Week 14 was also the one week I picked the Bears to beat the Eagles, so who knows what was happening in my porn-filled head back then.
Here is the table with this week’s predicciones:
| 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | WC | Actual | |
| W1 | SEA>CHI | CHI>CAR | PHI>CHI | CHI>PHI | PHI>CHI | PHI>CHI | PHI>CHI | PHI>CHI | |
| W2 | CAR>DAL | SEA>DAL | SEA>DAL | DAL>SEA | SEA>DAL | SEA>DAL | SEA>DAL | DAL>SEA | |
| D1 | SEA>LAR | SEA>LAR | LAR>PHI | CHI>LAR | SEA>LAR | SEA>LAR | SEA>LAR | DAL>LAR | |
| D2 | NO>CAR | NO>CHI | NO>SEA | NO>DAL | NO>PHI | NO>PHI | NO>PHI | NO>PHI | |
| C | NO>SEA | NO>SEA | NO>LAR | NO>CHI | NO>SEA | NO>SEA | NO>SEA | NO>DAL |
I still say that the Rams will lose their first game of the playoffs, ensuring a Hippo and tWBS trip to the Capital Cabaret. I’ve also got a side bet with a Rams fan at work that could net me a bottle of whiskey if they fail to reach the Super Bowl.
As I’ve noted before, the NFC Championship will be the real Super Bowl as the winner will handle New England in The Asshole.
Superb Owl
Saints beat New England.
| 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | WC | Actual |
| NO>NE | NO>NE | NO>NE | NO>NE | NO>NE | NO>NE | NO>NE | NO>NE |
***
Go ahead and tell me I’m stupid! You know you love to!
(4/69)
Oh, are the playoffs still going? I hadn’t noticed.
PSA: keep your mouth closed when changing diapers.
Except in Germany.
Rams-Eagles, Chargers-Colts, just so we can have an all-LA Championship Sunday.
Then Rams-Chargers in the Superb Owl, and they’ll play 3000 miles away.
That would be HILARIOUS and exciting!
Not to mention they would have to play the AFC Championship in a soccer stadium.
The pitch is very confusing.
– Jason Heyward, after every single pitch during the playoffs
I was hoping multi-sport jokes would result from your comment.
You know what could stop a New England – KC AFC championship game? The Chargers and the Colts.
If anyone is a true fan of anarchy or chaos, an AFC championship game in Carson would be amazing.
I really want that to happen now.
I think the Colts will go to KC, sit back and let KC Reid the game away in the last 4 minutes.
Agree. I’ve actually got the Colts on the money line.
It’s destiny.
Love the use of “Reid” as verb
The Colts match up with anybody right now. They are playing from a neck-beard of strength (and not the old Hollywood gay cover-up neck-beard either)
But we can’t have nice things because we touch ourselves.
Damn…is my live webcam active again?
Tape.
*I have already recorded you enough for my spank bank.
Or a true fan of variety; not seeing the fucking P*ts in the same situation. It is stale and the AFC needs to step the fuck up. I really don’t care who beats them at this point.
Whiskey of your choice I presume?
Of course!
What’s the leading choice?
I wouldn’t recommend getting this. I paid $16.99 for a handle 2 years ago.
HEY! ERRYBODY! Look at Mr. Big-Bucks showing off his expensive drinky-drink!
I was a high class drunk.
Well, it does have that convenient handle and the plastic won’t shatter unless dropped from an extreme height.
That bottle makes me think of the movie “An American Tail.”
What I’m saying is that it looks like the preferred whiskey of immigrant rats.
Actually, what I did was to make her choose first. Then, I chose the exact same thing. That way, it will kill her to buy the bottle she wants but have it go to me.
Oh, that is sublime.