Gazing Into Balls’ Crystal Balls – Wild Card Weekend

This is my weekly outlook as to who will make the playoffs,  who won’t,  who will win,  and who won’t.

As promised,  I’m keeping track of what I say week to week so you can call me out on any bullshit you may see. TODAY,  I’ll recap and highlight in BOLD any Wild Card Weekend predictions I got right. In the next few weeks, I will continue making playoff predictions so you may mock me for my crystal balls being cloudy.

Without further ado, TO THE STANDINGS!

AFC

 For historical purposes, here are the final regular season standings with my correct predictions in BOLD.

#111213141516Actual
1KCKCKC KCKCKC KC
2NENENE NENENENE
3PITHOUHOU HOUHOUHOU HOU
4HOUPITPIT BALPITBAL BAL
5LACLACLAC LACLACLAC LAC
6BALBALBAL PITBALIND IND

AFC Playoffs

For a “recovering” fan of an AFC team, I really don’t know jack shit about the conference considering I didn’t get anything right. I didn’t get the matchups right until the last week and I did not pick the correct outcomes of either Wild Card game.

Is it because I’m biased and I throw my likes and dislikes in my predicción machine? Probably. Although I did like the Ravens and Steeler fans aren’t supposed to root for division rivals. If only Harbaugh had stopped coaching like his brother earlier in the game.

Oh well. Onward! Here is the table with this week’s predicciones:

 11121314151617WCActual
WC1PIT>BALPIT>LACPIT>LAC PIT>HOUPIT>LACHOU>INDHOU>IND IND>HOU
WC2HOU>LACHOU>BALHOU>BAL BAL>LACBAL>HOUBAL>LACBAL>LAC LAC>BAL
D1NE>PITNE>HOUNE>HOU NE>BALNE>PITNE>HOUNE>HOUNE>LAC 
D2KC>HOUPIT>KCKC>PIT KC>PITKC>BALKC>BALKC>BALKC>IND 
CNE>KCNE>PITNE>KC NE>KCNE>KCNE>KCNE>KCNE>KC 

I still don’t see anything stopping a New England- Kansas City AFC Championship.

NFC

For historical purposes, here are the final regular season standings with my correct predictions in BOLD.

#111213141516Actual
1LARLARLAR NONONO NO
2NONONO LARLARLAR LAR
3CHICHICHI CHICHICHI CHI
4DALDALDAL DALDALDAL DAL
5CARSEASEA SEASEASEA SEA
6SEACARPHI PHIPHIPHI PHI

NFC Playoffs

Things are a little different in the NFC where I’ve managed to correctly pick Philly over Chicago for a while now. Somehow someway I also correctly picked Dallas to beat Seattle in Week 14 but that really was a fluke as I pretty much always envisioned the Boys losing in the first game.

Week 14 was also the one week I picked the Bears to beat the Eagles, so who knows what was happening in my porn-filled head back then.

Here is the table with this week’s predicciones:

 11121314151617WCActual
W1SEA>CHICHI>CARPHI>CHI CHI>PHIPHI>CHIPHI>CHIPHI>CHIPHI>CHI
W2CAR>DALSEA>DALSEA>DAL DAL>SEASEA>DALSEA>DALSEA>DAL DAL>SEA
D1SEA>LARSEA>LARLAR>PHI CHI>LARSEA>LARSEA>LARSEA>LARDAL>LAR 
D2NO>CARNO>CHINO>SEA NO>DALNO>PHINO>PHINO>PHINO>PHI 
CNO>SEANO>SEANO>LAR NO>CHINO>SEANO>SEANO>SEANO>DAL 

I still say that the Rams will lose their first game of the playoffs, ensuring a Hippo and tWBS trip to the Capital Cabaret. I’ve also got a side bet with a Rams fan at work that could net me a bottle of whiskey if they fail to reach the Super Bowl.

As I’ve noted before, the NFC Championship will be the real Super Bowl as the winner will handle New England in The Asshole.

Superb Owl

Saints beat New England.

11121314151617WCActual
NO>NENO>NENO>NE NO>NENO>NENO>NE NO>NENO>NE 

***

 Go ahead and tell me I’m stupid! You know you love to!

(4/69)

ballsofsteelandfury

ballsofsteelandfury

International Member of the Geelong Cats and recovering Steelers fan. Likes Butts. And Balls. And Boobs. Pretty much anything that starts with the letter B. Preferably together.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oh, are the playoffs still going? I hadn’t noticed.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Game Time Decision

PSA: keep your mouth closed when changing diapers.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Except in Germany.

SonOfSpam

Rams-Eagles, Chargers-Colts, just so we can have an all-LA Championship Sunday.

Then Rams-Chargers in the Superb Owl, and they’ll play 3000 miles away.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That would be HILARIOUS and exciting!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not to mention they would have to play the AFC Championship in a soccer stadium.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The pitch is very confusing.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– Jason Heyward, after every single pitch during the playoffs

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I was hoping multi-sport jokes would result from your comment.

yeah right

You know what could stop a New England – KC AFC championship game? The Chargers and the Colts.

If anyone is a true fan of anarchy or chaos, an AFC championship game in Carson would be amazing.

I really want that to happen now.

Sharkbait

I think the Colts will go to KC, sit back and let KC Reid the game away in the last 4 minutes.

yeah right

Agree. I’ve actually got the Colts on the money line.

It’s destiny.

Game Time Decision

Love the use of “Reid” as verb

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The Colts match up with anybody right now. They are playing from a neck-beard of strength (and not the old Hollywood gay cover-up neck-beard either)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Or a true fan of variety; not seeing the fucking P*ts in the same situation. It is stale and the AFC needs to step the fuck up. I really don’t care who beats them at this point.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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Sharkbait

I’ve also got a side bet with a Rams fan at work that could net me a bottle of whiskey if they fail to reach the Super Bowl.

Whiskey of your choice I presume?