Fallout:
-T.O. opened up his bridge-burner again and to no one’s surprise threw hc Garrett under the bus for having the gall to lose to a superior team. Several wanks were wanked.
-Harvey Dahl awaits his inevitable fine and perhaps a flurry of ‘random’ drug tests(?) for not expressing himself like an Anthony Hopkins in The Remains of The Day during the heat of competition.
-Aqib Talib awaits his inevitable fine and perhaps a flurry of ‘random’ drug tests for not expressing himself like Peter Sellers in Being There during the heat of celebration post-game.
-not exactly fallout but one of the linemen, Bob Kuechenberg from The ’72 Dolphins, passed away. He was one of those classy racists (like Matt Birk and Tim Thomas) that turned down a White House visit back in 2013 because a black fella happened to be running the nation at the time.
TO THE GAME!
Muscle Cars/Tea Party Throwers:
This doesn’t bode well-Rivers has never beaten Brady head-to-head in a game. However, in the man-to-man matchup in The Game of Life he’s way up 9-3. (I’m assuming Tiffany will come through with the deliverable-she’s a seasoned pro in her own right)
If you’re a history nutball like myself you’ll happen to know that the very first time these two met in a championship game (back in January of ’63) the Chargers came away with a 51-10 victory.
Sorta looks like near the end of the line for both Brady (maybe another year?) and Gronk especially after you saw the latter stumble and totter while trying to chase that Fins player during that miracle win.
It’s time for a bloody… Ceasar.
Has the Chargers DC even bothered to ask for a timeout so that he can modify the game plan/rally the troops? Not at all. #fuckthatguy
The people of Carson must be devastated
All three of them have banded together and formed a support group.
If Tony Romo hasn’t gone as Popeye to a Halloween party, that’s a huge missed opportunity.
I don’t think “Going Down Swinging” is an appropriate bumper music choice here. Maybe something more like “As I Lay Me Down” would be more descriptive of the Chargers’ efforts.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gq-4vIIJO30
How about the Meatballs’ “It just doesn’t matter!” speech?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9mf3Bypyk8
This seems apropos for Le Clippers du Merde:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foGkU6x3eSE
I hope there’s plenty of hot tea with honey for Romo and Nance…all that P*ts ball gargling can be rough on their throats…
This “The Danny Woodhead Bowl” isn’t even close.
MY DICK CAN CUT DIAMONDS RIGHT NOW
just imagine the anguish when Andy Reid eviscerates y’all…
Got a real blue-veiner going on, eh?
Sploosh
I feel sorry for your non-existent partner.
Palms are gonna look like Jesus’
time to watch Mexican Lesser Footy on the local Univision-ish affiliate
Hey! Rex Burkhead’s still playing? Good for him!
Now is the time on Sprockets when Grumblelord gets his white guys…I mean natural leaders get the points.
Third down. Incomplete.
Oh. Penalty?
/1st and 10, Patriots. Naturally.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDn8HvoloxM
These bailout calls aren’t obvious enough; the refs need to start making up penalties that don’t even exist and call them on imaginary jersey numbers, like #178i.
Just start calling them on imaginary teams. Like an NFL football team in Houston not called the Oilers
That’s not pass interference—wait, there’s the flag!
Late BLEERGH, naturally
Chargers sticking with their Disaster Fuck Defense game plan.
Obviously, the Chargers game plan is give the Patriots such a huge lead that they get overconfident that they pull their starters and put in their backups. Then they’ll spring their trap because they read the rulebook and per Rule 5.10, once a player is substituted, they cannot return to the game.
This was definitely RIvers’ last real chance, so I guess he should just retire now.
Keep playing under the Spanoi, or instantly get paid as a talking head analyst? Pretty easy choice.
How’s his contract situation? Does he have a chance to go to a contending team late in his career like Manning, Farve and Cunningham?
yeah, but then he would have to spend MOAR time at home. 3 is rough enough, but 8-9??
Sure, why not? Worked for Vontae Davis.
35-10 looks overly optimistic for CdM
Looks like that could be the halftime score.
It’s clear this is all just part of the Chargers’ plan to get their left-footed punter out there as much as possible and give Belichick a taste of his own medicine.
Edelman caught that Rivers 3rd down throw, bat, kick. That white man catches everything. Even on the sidelines.
Well, game, blouses?
oh yeah.
P*ts starting to cover Clippers du Merde, now I just hope they will be Maestro-heel-turn-level overconfident for Mahomes-y and pals.
If Andy Reid is going to be standing in the way of the Patriots and the Super Bowl, I sure hope he picks a narrow doorway to stop in.
I am looking forward to fighting the good fight (Andy really has got this!) in the game thread next week.
Who knew Belichick could outsmart Ken Wisenhunt?
Narrator: Everbody.
Romo: “Rivers’ teammates complete suck ass. He needs to do everything in order to win.”
My parlay right now–
I don’t want to bet Iggles/Saints, but being 3-for-3 (counting the P*ts already), I feel like I may have an obligation…
Big Dick Nick The Spread Slayer
I just can’t get 48-7 out of my head. Breesus coming off a bye, too.
Eagles are going to lose by 1 just to make sure they inflict the most pain on the most people
I would enjoy it being a competitive fixture, at least. Sadly, I don’t see RRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! beating either one.
Only slightly a delay of game.
The refs even gave them a couple extra Mississippis in the count
Sarah Thomas is the very first female ref in the NFL to see the Chargers implode in a playoff game. #history
FFS they’re already making awful covers of the most recent Johnny Cash singles.
BOLTMAN DEMANDS THE FEMURS OF GUS BRADLEY AS PENANCE FOR THIS DISHONOR
Keep BOLTMAN’s name out of your fucking mouth.
Angry OSZ is awesome!!
This is allowing me to focus properly on my baseball draft.
What the actual fuck
Prob don’t need to watch much more of this one.
Hooray for not covering!
SUCK MY DICK AND BALLS WOOOOOOOO I AM A HORRIBLE HUMAN AND I DON’T GIVE A SINGLE FUCK
Wait when did Maestro become Rick Sanchez?
About five beers ago.
I’m enjoying his heel turn for this game.
Being the most hated person in the room and not only loving it but encouraging it is a feeling everyone should experience once in their life.
“Living the life…”
– Stephen Miller
It is quite entertaining.
Bob Sutton just shit his pants.
(the funny part is that he’s not even watching the game)
Being the most hated person in the room and not only loving it but encouraging it is a feeling everyone should experience once in their life.
(wrong post – sorry!)
Welp.
This is a clinical dismantling
It’s pretty rough, that’s for sure.
They’ve moved to dismembering
“Hey look at no one covering Edelman! [shrugs shoulders] Eh, watta ya gonna do?”
-Chargers DC
Sup beaches.
The world is unjust
I don’t really get what the Apple ad with all the multi-colored overalls is trying to tell me, but I kind of like the song that accompanies it.
At least our Overlords want us to play for 8 hours. Most Evil Overlords don’t give their slaves recess.
Apple ads always seem to try to be a brightly colored version of Lost Highway: they make no sense but they look cool and have a great soundtrack.
So yesterday we had a new record for most combined touchdown passes for the quarterbacks, and then they ended up with like, maybe two touchdown passes total.
Today we’ve got a record for the highest combined age. How is this going to end up being a similar dud?
I’m thinking maybe 35-10 P*ts
And now for our “Circling down the bowl” moment of the game, brought to you by Taco Bell’s $1 menu!
This Stretch Armstrong reboot sucks.
Was that ball on a hot air balloon?
him: let me hear my wife’s voice one more time
her: (in a terrible face accent) Hans ya fucking idiot you’ve gotten yourself pinned against the wall!!!
him: that’s the stuff
dies
him: “Come closer.”
(her goes closer)
him: “I cheated on you with all your friends.”
(him dies with a smile on his face)
fin
My biggest conclusion so far is that the Ravens are even dogshittier than we thought
Well, at least I have the Patriots backfield for my stupid fantasy football playoff thingy
needs more toe.