Nope, you gotta wait another week (plus) for the Superb Owl LIII.
YOU’LL GET NOTHING AND LIKE IT!!!!!
(get your foot off the boat, Spalding)
((roman numerals are stupid))
(((LMFAO)))
Anywhoooo….
But even without your football fix this weekend, you will still be getting a variety of incessant media takes on the “Big Game”. So in honour of that, this week we’re doing…
Sexy Sports Reporters!!!!
–
Sports With Nothing To Offer 2Nite
NHL
Once again…YOU’LL GET NOTHING AND LIKE IT!!!!
It’s NHL All Star Weekend so there is nada tonight, aside from the skills competitions – 9:00pmEST – TV: NBCSN
The actual All Star Game is tomorrow – 8:00pmEST -TV: NBC
NBA
YOU’LL GET NOT VERY MUCH!!!!
- Toronto @ Houston – 8:00pmEST – TV: ESPN
NCAA Hoops
YOU’LL GET A LITTLE BUT YOU STILL MIGHT NOT LIKE IT!!!!!
- (14)Buffalo @ Kent State – 6:30pmEST – TV: CBSSN
- (5)Michigan @ Indiana – 6:30pmEST – TV: FS1
- Rider @ Iona – 7:00pmEST – TV: ESPNU
- Butler @ Creighton – 8:30pmEST – TV: FS1
–
This Just In…
(that means two things)
There are many to choose from. These are just few chosen arbitrarily, though not quite randomly, of my own choosing. As always, you are encouraged to write in your own “candidates” in the comments.
Enjoy…
Heidi Watney – MLBN Quick Pitch host (she seems fun).
Vanessa Huppenkothen – Soccer Goddess, AND the title Goddess character of mine and BallsofSteel’s ongoing saga of love found, love lost again, and hopefully found again next time (I really need to get my ass in gear so we can start writing the 3rd installment….STOP YELLING AT ME BALLS!!!!).
Maria Taylor – ESPN College Gameday (taller than me, but I’d climb that tree).
Allie LaForce – CBS College Sports
Charissa Thompson – Various (lives in Venice, CA….which if you know me, you know that’s good enough for me).
And of course, no post of this nature on this website would be complete without including the Queen Mother. Joe Namath, you magnificent bastard you.
Suzy Kolber – Hell yeah, I’d kiss her. I wouldn’t even need to be drunk…(though chances are I probably would be anyway).
–
OK Jerkweeds
That’s all I got this week. Sometimes getting nothing is better than the alternative. Trust me.
Go wank it or get drunk or whatever, and have a great weekend.
Just please be safe.
Love ya’s.
–
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8UR2TFUp8w
Ivanka really wants that pardon
American Gladiators was peak Americana
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9694K85Xc8
BWI Airport is still as big a pain in the ass to deal with as every other airport. But I’m happy to report that tWLS arrived safely, we had a nice dinner, and she was so happy that I got her pipes and ceiling fixed that I got sexed up real good.
Pretty good day.
Laying pipe led to laying pipe?
This shit nuts folks!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLm3Khusq_8
If you’re in the Los Angeles area tomorrow, motor on down to glamorous Torrance to the Alpine Village at the intersection of the 405 freeway and the 110 freeway. At 5:00 PM tomorrow (1/26/19) there will be a meet up of DFOers in the Alpine Restaurant. All are invited.
If you’re paying for airfare, hotel, and ground transportation, I’m in.
You won’t need a hotel because it’s only a dinner, and I can pick you up from LAX before and drop you off after.
For economy, you should try to climb up in the wheel-well of a flight from Pittsburgh to LAX, and back again. It’s cold but it has been done successfully. I’ll buy you a brandy if you make it to LAX alive.
Evening. Movie night.
i love fat tits
h
ttps://78.media.tumblr.com/a7c05e54a8398d1cce5a18b2aec39015/tumblr_onzwweKyKA1tguujno4_400.gif
Just look down.
That reminds me of that one time when I was on liberty in Pattaya Beach and headed up to Bangkok for an evening of fun. Whoops! The Adam’s apple should have been the giveaway.
Slut
Now we are wolf slut shaming?!?!?
MARS RIGHTS
?
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
Damn!
Smoothies for everyone in San Jose?
Fun fact: James Garner actually died from inner ear malfunctions resulting from all that Rockfording.
HUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMM. Prolly didn’t help that he worked on a lot of westerns before the days of safety managers.
I’m sure the effects were cumulative.
Isn’t “Smoothies” that new waxing salon on Washington Street?
Post one…. ONE dick pic on LinkedIn and people lose their god damned minds.
In my mind, I’m reading that in Joker’s voice from Dark Knight.
“You know what I noticed? Nobody panics when things go according to plan. If tomorrow I told the press that, like, a dozen female celebrities’ nude pictures will be leaked, nobody panics. Because its all part of the plan. But when I say that one little old dick pic will show up on LinkedIn, well then everybody loses their minds!”
Dear Lord.
Lords?
Legendary Incarcerator Kamala Harris bitching that the bail system in the US is unjust because poor people are staying in jail when people like Roger Stone gets to sleep in his own bed is gonna be one of those things that triggers an aneurysm as I inevitably smash that vote button with her name on it because I don’t trust Americans to not vote for Trump again
Yes. all of this.
Stone’s bail amounted to “Ok, now don’t leave town. Promise? Ok, off you go.”
Kamala just sitting there shedding a single tear as she imagines him not being thrown at a forest fire against his will
That is how every former prosecutor turned politician has done it. “Tough on crime” or you go into private practice. Not saying it’s right, quite the opposite, but that’s how it is. If they are fair and constitutional they get Willy Horton’d.
Just give me someone I can stomach voting for. I just need long enough to fill a circle next to their name.
You know California abolished bail, right?
One of the guys on Jeopardy is named “Steve-O” and I am rooting against him because of it.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/patton-oswalt-twitter-troll-gofundme-30000-blade-trinity-michael-beatty/
Padre Weaselo is at NAMM in Anaheim, and apparently Derek Smalls of Spinal Tap is hosting a bass riff-off. Because hell, why not?
He is also trying to see how to fit a Moog synthesizer in his suitcase for home, probably.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/local/stop-snuggling-hedgehogs-cdc-urges-amid-salmonella-outbreak/ar-BBSKrRQ?OCID=ansmsnnews11
Tell him to go Alpine Village in Torrance tomorrow and meet your invisible friends!
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/indiana-superintendent-charged-after-using-her-insurance-for-sick-student/ar-BBSHWTT?OCID=ansmsnnews11
Pierre interviewing Patrick Kane; if there was ever a time for a taxi-shaped meteor, it’s now.
Can we settle for a meteor-shaped meteor?
Connor McDavid, fast motherfucker on skates.
O/U Number of Times This Gets Played This Weekend: 100
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5QGkOGZubQ
This one should be popular too.
A Woman!? Playing hockey? Now I’ve seen everything.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lIqNjC1RKU
Killer Mike’s Netflix show was a lot of fun, with such great moments as El-P giving less than zero fucks about anything he’s trying to prove, using porn to teach trade skills, and telling a group of elderly white folk to kill their masters.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JW79j81iLDI
Where the fuck are my Skillz! I thouyght this shit was supposed to start at 7 DFO Standard Time? My blood is getting all cold and alcohol riddled, hurry it up!
(me at work)
Coworker: “That thing that was wrong, we fix it, so you can void he We Screwed Up Form.”
Me: “Did you fill out a We Fixed It Form?”
Coworker: “No, but we did it.”
Me: “I can’t. The We Screwed Up Form is already entered in. I’ll need a We Fixed It Form to okay the We Screwed Up Form.”
Coworker: “Why can’t you be flexible?”
Me: “What if you messed up fixing it?”
Coworker: “How can you say such a thing?!”
Me: “You’ve already shown that you are lazy and don’t like following the rules by not taking five minutes to fill out a We Fixed It Form, so odds are you screwed up fixing it. If you messed up and its caught, the investigation will revealed that I wrongly voided a We Screwed Up Form without documents that we fixed it, hence the name “We Fixed It Form”. So instead of exposing myself to Civil and possibly Criminal Prosecution for knowingly falsifying documentation, why don’t you take five minutes and fill out a God damned We Fixed It Form.”
The fuq?
Are you being sarcastic?
I just never realized Burn Notice was so deep
I see.
It’s reactions like this that make me realize how old I’m getting. This was the first movie I remember seeing in a theater. I’m pretty sure I was around 3 years old. Though I don’t remember much about that visit to the theater, my dad tells me I chose the movie above some Disney thing (I’m sure he had no interest in seeing a Disney film and somehow influenced me to choose Bond, which I am cool with).
No; if anybody in the US has not seen this movie at least once they should IMMEDIATELY question everything in their pitiable lives up to this point and completely revamp their priorities or end it.
This is part of my desert island collection:
(sheepishly raises hand)
How is that possible?
jesus! what the actual fuck??
This just makes the lesson in humanity even more depressing.
You are kidding, right? You have not seen the early or for that matter all the Bond movies? They are not grand cinema, but jesus! It is a right of passage.
There is about ten “free” or cable channels which run Bond marathons annually.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsPDT5qHtZ4
Twist in plot, the longest shutdown in American history is the fault of Trump misreading Pelosi’s intensions.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMDTVyDvudk
Here’s Pelosi bargaining with Trump over Wall Funding.
If Pelosi had the balls tolater drug him and leave a dead Ivanka in his bed I’d actually respect her.
Oh, I think Ivanka’s played dead in his bed before.
Democrats did something smart and Pelosi was right?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6l4aIC6h94g&t=3s
Not a big Pelosi fan, but she’s goddamn burying him
Wait until he signs the bill before you celebrate. You don’t want to spike the football on the 1 yard line.
Or pass it, either….
—Pete Carroll
Yeah, he might get his back up again if Tucker Carlson or Sean Hannity calls him a pussy over the air. Having your governance informed and directed by Fox News isn’t really a long-term formula for success.
Oh, you don’t know? Conservatives Pundits are roasting him alive. Its beautiful.
Oh yeah. They all be like this:
I hope they all die of strokes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1xXWoJW_9Q&ab_channel=AdultSwim
New SkillZ competition game: Ice, ice, or ice. Players are presented with three samples of ice, and they have to decide which one they have to skate on, which one they have to propose with, and which one they have to smoke.
Same
I think the skills competition needs more American Gladiators stuff. Because they wouldn’t allow more Wipeout and MXC stuff. Or any.
Hell, the skills competition should just be a game of MXC.
My ranking of the Suzie pictures: 1,1,1
/They’re all tied for first
Major props to Allie LaForce for the butt cleavage and butt-lace.
Nice non-sports news today. Maybe 2019 will be a better year than 2016, 2017, and 2018 were.
Now that the Shutdown’s over, the US Gov’t can move on to more pressing matters.
https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/look-u-s-senator-blames-nfl-for-blown-rams-saints-no-call-from-the-senate-floor/
The best part about the skillz competition is that it changes from year to year and they never really explain the rules, and then it’s over and you don’t care anymore.
Sounds like they stole the scoring from “Who’s line is it anyway”
I would watch the NFL Players Hoedown.
[Insert crass Ezekiel Elliot joke here]