2019 [DFO] Banner Tournament: First Round, Day 9

Senor Weaselo

Senor Weaselo

Senor Weaselo plays the violin. He tucks it right under his chin. When he isn’t doing that, he enjoys watching his teams (Yankees, Jets, Knicks, and Rangers), trying to ingest enough capsaicin to make himself breathe fire (it hasn’t happened yet), and scheming to acquire the Bryant Park zamboni.
Senor Weaselo

Latest posts by Senor Weaselo (see all)

Totally counts, it has “dance” in the name. Plus I get the call and I deem it totally allowed and that there’ll be other Classical dances. You’ve been… warned is not the word, but sure, warned. It’s me, so I could roll them out if I so chose. But anyway, here are today’s polls, once again in the SHAN’KHOR region. That’s just as much for me as it is for not-me, since I don’t need to accidentally go to the wrong regional. I almost did it, and then I would’ve gotten myself crossed up and confused. Leave it to me that this is one of the few things in my life that I’m actually attempting to keep organized.

First Round, SHAN’KHOR Region

  • 12. “Ok, I’m embarrassed. This whole time I thought ‘calamistrum’ was a thing I was supposed to do for my wife on our anniversary but I was too tired and she was kinda pissed.” (51%, 19 Votes)
  • 5. “I’m in a red state. Memorial Day Protip: Be white in a red state and you’ll never feel blue.” (49%, 18 Votes)

Total Voters: 37

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First Round, SHAN’KHOR Region

  • 4. “I see they’re honoring Joe Paterno’s 50th anniversary of the first game he coached. To start the game, they will have 40 years worth of moments of silence.” (63%, 24 Votes)
  • 13. “It’s 91 here but it feels like 104. I am jerking off to women’s water polo, but mostly for the pool.” (37%, 14 Votes)

Total Voters: 38

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GAMBLOR Regional updates will be tomorrow, in case you’re wondering. Nothing is wrong, just scheduling reasons involving prior commitments.

(Now, with my other sixty words or so, I’m not sure what to talk about. Hell, maybe I’ll just ramble for awhile, it shouldn’t be that hard, right? It’s not like it’s extremely long to ramble for. And even more fun, I can just ramble about rambling, how ’bout that! Yes Senor, you sly devil, you can have your most meta ramble session yet! Although that means you’re gonna burn this, you can’t meta-ramble again. Wait, what am I at?)

Okay, that does it for today, remember, tomorrow will have the GAMBLOR updates, so keep your pants, well it’s us so keep them off I guess. See you tomorrow!

Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo plays the violin. He tucks it right under his chin. When he isn't doing that, he enjoys watching his teams (Yankees, Jets, Knicks, and Rangers), trying to ingest enough capsaicin to make himself breathe fire (it hasn't happened yet), and scheming to acquire the Bryant Park zamboni.
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yeah rightherodotus450Senor WeaseloUnsurprisedtheeWeeBabySeamus Recent comment authors
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Bubba Watson’s balls are yellow.
Could be worse I guess….could be blue.

yeah right

That was a very unsuccessful grocery store trip. I special ordered an item by phone two days ago and they said “No problem, we’ll have it waiting.” I get to the store and they said they gave it to another customer half an hour ago. Fuck!
Then as I was checking out, the cashier couldn’t remove the anti theft top from my bottle of vodka and she actually asked me “Did you really want this?”
I told her I needed it now more than ever.
Shit!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sorry, but LMFAO at “needed it now more than ever”.

You know you got legal weed there, right?

yeah right

That was waiting at home.

herodotus450
herodotus450

the anti theft top from my bottle of vodka

Wow even bottlecaps have fancy names out in Californee

blaxabbath

Man – Bobby Hurley ‘s arm pits are so sweaty, you’d think HE was the coach in this game who’s gonna have to testify under oath next month.

Redshirt

5vs12 is currently tied 15-15. What happens if there is a tie? Revote? Dead heat (both advance)? Double elimination? Supreme Court votes for Bush again?

Wakezilla

I’ll start taking bribes to change my vote

Redshirt

Wait a minute. 5v12 has 30 votes, but 4vs13 has 31. This is why they say “every vote counts”!

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I feel deeply sad for 13. Criminally under-seeded.

herodotus450
herodotus450

I think I would only last a day or two working as a Sabres beat writer before they’d fire me for overusing the phrase “Sabre-rattling.”

Wakezilla

I’d get fired for constantly suggesting the franchise just commit seppuku

herodotus450
herodotus450

Sabre? I hardly know hre!

Wakezilla

Buffalo looks unorganized out there. It’s almost as if Buffalo is winging it

blaxabbath

Waiting for Arizona ASU to tip off. An Arizona win should bounce ASU from the bubble.

It’s be worth it for this HORRIBLE UA team to just play spoiler.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I never make the banner, because pictures of engines don’t fit there.
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Horatio Cornblower

Yeah. That’s it.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Getting on the banner is all political. It’s just a beauty pageant, that’s all. My posts are too real for the banner.

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Yep, this all checks out. Bummer for you, buddy.

WCS

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Horatio Cornblower

My mother just called to tell me that she has a mouse on her wall and what should she do about it.

Me: “Go to the pound and spend $5 on a cat”

herodotus450
herodotus450

Call Lionel Hutz cause she’s got a prior art lawsuit brewing?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A mouse on her wall? What is it, some kind of crazy spidermouse?

Horatio Cornblower

There’s a brick backsplash in the kitchen. Not too 70’s or anything.

Wakezilla

Tell her to buy sticky glue traps. Then, when she catches it, kill it, then chop its head off and leave it by an entry way that a mouse would enter thru her house in order to send a message to other mice.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The cat could do that for her for cheaper.

theeWeeBabySeamus

THIS NC STATE I CALL THEM KUWAIT BECAUSE THEY NEED A LOT OF HELP WITH THEIR DEFENSE.

Horatio Cornblower

THIS WELSH DEFENSE I CALL IT BANNOCKBURN, BECAUSE THE SCOTS ARE RUNNING THROUGH IT LIKE IT’S NOT EVEN THERE!!!

-Fuck, it’s hard doing this for Six Nations Rugby you guys.

litre_cola

Superbly done laddie.

yeah right

I haven’t had a burger since my Cherry Cricket burger in Denver last August. I’m geographically fortunate because my town has a Five Guys, In-N-Out AND a Shake Shack.

I’ve never tried Shake Shack but the locals aren’t impressed.

Suggestions?

I’ll go with the consensus.

ballsofsteelandfury

You’re not a Southern Californian if you don’t choose In-n-Out.

Given that, they’re all completely different burgers. It really depends on what you feel like.

yeah right

It’s probably been 10 years since I’ve had In-n-out. That’s not an indictment I just don’t do burgers very often and if I do I prefer a place where I can have a beer with it.

I just feel like grabbing a quick burger for some reason.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

The Habit burger is pretty good too. There’s one in El Segundo on Sepulveda almost across from Five Guys. Also Eagle Rock for you eastside folk.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Not to be confused with Hamburger Habit @ National & Sepulveda.

yeah right

Or Hamburger Hamlet on Hollywood and Highland. I have eaten there and it was damn good. Loved the hash browns.

yeah right

Haven’t tried them either and they’re right next door to my bank.

litre_cola

I always love 5 guys in my mouth.

Horatio Cornblower

Thanks for the feedback, Linda.

Horatio Cornblower

I really liked Shake Shack the one time I went there.

yeah right

I might give it a go.

Col. Duke LaCross

In-N-Out for the burgers and Five Guys For the fries.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Shake Shack is fine but overpriced. We have a $10 credit every month via our American Express card so I can basically get one for free, which makes it taste considerably better.

King Hippo

Now get the winner, Lesser Footy Artist Formerly Known As Videoton FC

litre_cola

I am glad i am a Puebla supporter now. Beat it Fulham.

/ just joking baby i didnt mean to snap, litre was talking crazy he has room for both of you.

King Hippo

at least I can safely go back to betting youse next year

Wakezilla

Two clubs at the same time… Nice

King Hippo

Bury got a late winner, at least.

Wakezilla

It really is that time of the year where the Hot sperms get sucked dry of their potency, isn’t it?

King Hippo

Everton, that

Wakezilla

How we doing, DFOers?

Today, we are all mighty whitey supporters, am I right?

King Hippo

u rite

litre_cola

Aaand there it fucking is. Can’t waot for Rotherham away next year. Fuck.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

No, today I am wearing these new boxers I bought from Costco. They are pretty comfortable but “Buffalo David Britton” is embroidered on the front and it makes me feel uncomfortable to wonder who that dude is every time I take a wiz.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sounds like your new nickname to me.

Horatio Cornblower

Buffalo Dave is just this guy’s old company after they had to change their name after all that “unpleasantness” in West Virginia…
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King Hippo

GOOOOOAAAALLLLLL, Osters! Uff da!

King Hippo

Mighty Whitey back in it! Them, Bury, and Osters could still come good and make the morning nice.

litre_cola

Get fucking in you bastards!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

@Hippo, dunno if you’ve seen, but Gottfried is getting pinched.
We’re screwed.

King Hippo

eh, is what it is

theeWeeBabySeamus

I think I might email Debbie Yow again. You know how much she loves me already.
😀

King Hippo

Still can’t believe how much of a pass she gets from fans for Gottfried.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well, at least in a coupla months we’ll have Boo.
Is that better?

Q: Who would name their kid “Boo”?
A: A Duke Lacrosse Alumnus

(sounds right)

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I’m beyond entertained that Pitino, AZ, LSU, and NCST are the ones getting outed from this.

Definitely nobody else is doing these things. Definitely.

King Hippo

WOO!!! Split goes level at 88′ and wins it at the death.

King Hippo

In case anyone forgot, these Barcodes are total cunts

rockingdog
rockingdog

found a funny:

Lab Assistant: Don’t you think this has gone a little too far?

Scientist: NONSENSE!

Writhing mass of flesh and fur that resulted from trying to genetically splice Phil Collins with a border collie: *barks the first few notes of the drum solo to In the Air Tonight*

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Worth it

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m going to do my taxes today. Pray for Rikki.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Will you do mine please? I hate that shit.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

King Hippo

EVERTON, AREN’T WE!!!

Fronkenshteen

Kane was offsides

King Hippo

but haha, fuck off He Who Shall Not Be Named

litre_cola

Took me a second then connected the dots

King Hippo

appears my epic #HAILGAMBLOR run has ended. Oh well.

litre_cola

Yep. I is done til the tourney unless I get some Mexi/italy magic

theeWeeBabySeamus

Good Morning All
(also…’member when Bruce Jenner had a penis?)

King Hippo

Pepperidge Farm remembers!

/they gingerbread mens was always nongendered ppl forget that

King Hippo

DCL muthafuckas!!

Fronkenshteen

Anyone have a couple skinoots on Cardiff today?

King Hippo

thought about it, but no. Bury, Fulham, Queen of the South (already behind), Osters (same), Hajduk Split, and Pro Patria this window.

litre_cola

I gots money in Serie a, Mexico, the Danish league and Scotland.

Fronkenshteen

You guys must have Fubo TV.

King Hippo

nah, just lowly cable but with ESPN+ and NBC Gold. Only watching Everton, checking LiveScore for the rest

litre_cola

Really looking forward to not being able to watch the derby in Mexico today due to no fucking broadcast rights in Canadia. WE ARE ON THE SAME CONTINENT! SHOW ME MY SEXY MEXICAN CHEERLEADERS DAMMIT!

ballsofsteelandfury

Considering Liga MX wants a true North American league, this doesn’t make sense!

litre_cola

I love how the MLS has ‘closed the gap’ and gets bootfucked by 4 Sexy Mexy teams last week.

King Hippo

MLS is ass and will always be ass.

litre_cola

The Canadian Premier League is where its at.

King Hippo

I would be quite amused for MLS to drop to #3 on the continent

Fronkenshteen

How many positions at the top of the EPL table are meaningful at season’s end? 4?

King Hippo

4 for Champions League, 5-6 and sometime 7th gets one Europa

King Hippo

Only once in recent memory has 4th not gotten Champions League, that’s right – Everton finished 4th that season

litre_cola

6ish. Europa league spots.

litre_cola

Twist that knife Foxy Footy!

Fronkenshteen

That 13 – 4 bracket…shame someone has to lose.

Horatio Cornblower

I stared at that one for a couple of minutes before voting.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m starting to remember who wrote some of these, and it’s fucking with my biases

King Hippo

I’ve only bannered once in EVAR, so I don’t have to keep my eyes out for another

King Hippo

Nice equalizer from Dunav Ruse, and we shall be watching the Confederacy’s favourite Lesser Footy side at 10 (Queen of the South).

King Hippo

well done by Gaz Metan Medias WOO

King Hippo

yes, this shall double as Lesser Footy thread

blaxabbath

Nine days for just the first round? What is this, Lennay Kekua’a leukemia regimen?