2019 NCAAT 1st Round Thursday – Early Window Open Thread

King Hippo

King Hippo

Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan.Also a proud fookin’ Evertonian.Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child.[Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
King Hippo

Huzzah for life distractions!

#10(E) Minnesota (+5.5, +210) v. #7(E) Louisville (12:15, CBS)

Don’t bet the over/under on “Minute Man” Pitino crowd shots.  You don’t want to die of liver failure this early in the tourney.

#14(E) Yale (+6.5, +250) v. #3(E) LSU (12:40, truTV)

Oh, the taeks about these fine, upstanding, future white criminal Yalies, as opposed to the ruffian Negroes of the Bayou.  But LSU is without its suspended head coach (they think he’s paying folks, imagine that!), which seems vaguely important.

#12(MW) New Mexico State (+5.5, +225) v. #5(MW) Auburn (1:30, TNT)

Here comes the first of everyone’s predicted 12/5 upsets, but Aubie is used to playing folks that call theyselves Aggies.  Also, I have a mild pro-Bruce Pearl feeling about this dance.  I mean, who wouldn’t want to twirl the ballroom with that handsome devil!

#13(W) Vermont (+8.5, +380) v. #4(W) Florida State (2:00, TBS)

Look, when Scowlin’ Leonard and his Seminole Band go down in flames, I can officially quit caring about my brackets.  So, like 4:15 EST??

#15(E) Bradley (+18.5, +1625) v. #2(E) Michigan State (2:45, CBS)

The namesake of many Commentist Party illuminati, but their line does nae make it appear that The Valley is much account this year.  You know Sparty, they lose right away, or they at least make the Flacco Eight.

#11(E) Belmont (+3, +140) v. #6(E) Maryland (3:10, truTV)

I was all hype for betting on this, but that payoff is kind of disappoint.  Looks like many #HAILGAMBLOR devotees have the same wanking motion opinion of Fear teh Turtle as Hippo does.

#13(MW) Northeastern (+7, +255) v. #4(MW) Kansas (4:00, TNT)

Fuck Northeastern (not to be confused with Northwestern, who lost about 10 too many games to make it), they are who spawned Jim Calhoun.  But fuck Kansas MOAR, obvsly, not that it will matter much today.

#12(W) Murray State (+3.5, +150) v. #5(W) Marquette (4:30, TBS)

Murray?  Present!  And I am disappoint by my payoff yet again.  But who doesn’t want to bet against Wojo?

King Hippo
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

FUN FACT: Porky’s is the highest grossing Canadian film of all time.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Welp, I’m still sick as a dog, but I’m not asleep yet since someone decided to defrost my pork tenderloin without asking me when we should eat it, and no we have to cook it so it doesn’t go bad.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Mmmmmmmm

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ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I need to add more of other peoples’ vids of Yanet Garcia.

Wakezilla

Hey friend, how do you upload a gif on here?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Depends on the source. From gfycat?

Wakezilla

Yup

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Nice socks.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

You need them for maximum dancing efficiency on wood floors.

BC Dick

‘Cuse on the front of your jersey? That’s an embarrassment. Have some damn pride. And about those clouds…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Thanks to Ann Arbor (and btw I hate Michigan for the record but am willing to profit) my acct will be above 10K and I will cash out finally. Until next year.

Col. Duke LaCross

Things are looking up, buddy!

theeWeeBabySeamus

How the hell is the Hall fucking this up so badly?

litre_cola

Because you touch yourself.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey, I told you that in confidence.
Please also delete the photos.

litre_cola

Can’t believe you shared those on slack.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey guys, wanna know something which sucks?
Realizing you had three different relationships over the past 2.5 years, all of which failed miserably.
AND THEN YOU REALIZE…..YOU’RE THE COMMON DENOMINATOR!!!!!!
Meh….fuck ’em.

WCS

Be grateful none of those produced children.

/record scratch

OR DID THEY

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s a very good point, actually.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

3 beats 0

Don T

I could watch Eva Green read the User Agreement for a cellphone. And if she rolls her eyes at interminable run-on sentences…
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Jim Boeheim really needs to get punched in the head.
Sorry, the truth hurts.

theeWeeBabySeamus

And now I’m looking at a Michael Jordan underpants commercial.
COME ON!!!!!!1

WCS

If you mean “punched in the head” as “repeatedly beaten with a baseball bat over the head” then I agree.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

https://giant.gfycat.com/WarpedCleverAzurevasesponge.mp4

.

.
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

https://giant.gfycat.com/EarlyImportantBlackpanther.mp4

`
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nomonkeyfun

These girls all really know how to play with balls.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

They must’ve gone to Uncle Ed’s Finishing School

WCS

I just spent 20 minutes looking for something all around my apartment, only to find it was in my pocket the entire time (NAWT phrasing, just stoopdity). Lil’er WCS is laughing at my expense.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Getting old is a motherfucker.

theeWeeBabySeamus

WCS

I realize it’s early, but, outside of Villanova, the Big East is ass, huh?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Bullseye!

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litre_cola

Gotta keep dem boobs on a swivel.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Yowza.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

That girls of soccer or whatever account from a couple months ago had some more good gifs, but I tossed the links. Oh well.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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theeWeeBabySeamus

2/10….she looks like she could kick my ass.

Don T

[gulps]

theeWeeBabySeamus

Montana ain’t so hot on defense.
Sorry Evel Kneivel, but you know it’s true!!!!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Oregon is trying to make it legal to light up in commercial locations and not just at home.
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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theeWeeBabySeamus

You have my attention.

theeWeeBabySeamus

1.5 minutes in, ODU/Purdue already shaping up to be the ugliest game of the day.
And that is saying something.

Spur
Spur

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nomonkeyfun

Maybe I should check out this soccer thing.

litre_cola

The beautiful game

theeWeeBabySeamus

2/10
Too skilled at kicking balls.
9/10 on the uniform, however.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Spur
Spur

Wofford look extra gritty.

WCS

Did Hippo just cash in big?

Sharkbait

Apparently

Spur
Spur

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Spur
Spur

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Spur
Spur

my buzz is fading. I need to sleep or more liquor.

Sharkbait

MOAR LIQUOR!

theeWeeBabySeamus

You can have both.

nomonkeyfun

Sleep, pass out is there really a difference? I mean besides location and pants dryness.