Huzzah for life distractions!
#10(E) Minnesota (+5.5, +210) v. #7(E) Louisville (12:15, CBS)
Don’t bet the over/under on “Minute Man” Pitino crowd shots. You don’t want to die of liver failure this early in the tourney.
#14(E) Yale (+6.5, +250) v. #3(E) LSU (12:40, truTV)
Oh, the taeks about these fine, upstanding, future white criminal Yalies, as opposed to the ruffian Negroes of the Bayou. But LSU is without its suspended head coach (they think he’s paying folks, imagine that!), which seems vaguely important.
#12(MW) New Mexico State (+5.5, +225) v. #5(MW) Auburn (1:30, TNT)
Here comes the first of everyone’s predicted 12/5 upsets, but Aubie is used to playing folks that call theyselves Aggies. Also, I have a mild pro-Bruce Pearl feeling about this dance. I mean, who wouldn’t want to twirl the ballroom with that handsome devil!
#13(W) Vermont (+8.5, +380) v. #4(W) Florida State (2:00, TBS)
Look, when Scowlin’ Leonard and his Seminole Band go down in flames, I can officially quit caring about my brackets. So, like 4:15 EST??
#15(E) Bradley (+18.5, +1625) v. #2(E) Michigan State (2:45, CBS)
The namesake of many Commentist Party illuminati, but their line does nae make it appear that The Valley is much account this year. You know Sparty, they lose right away, or they at least make the Flacco Eight.
#11(E) Belmont (+3, +140) v. #6(E) Maryland (3:10, truTV)
I was all hype for betting on this, but that payoff is kind of disappoint. Looks like many #HAILGAMBLOR devotees have the same wanking motion opinion of Fear teh Turtle as Hippo does.
#13(MW) Northeastern (+7, +255) v. #4(MW) Kansas (4:00, TNT)
Fuck Northeastern (not to be confused with Northwestern, who lost about 10 too many games to make it), they are who spawned Jim Calhoun. But fuck Kansas MOAR, obvsly, not that it will matter much today.
#12(W) Murray State (+3.5, +150) v. #5(W) Marquette (4:30, TBS)
Murray? Present! And I am disappoint by my payoff yet again. But who doesn’t want to bet against Wojo?
4 people are 5 for 5.
Tom Izzo looking like death warmed over and then cooled off and then warmed up again.
And Sir Charles looking like he ate a few too many serving of reheated Izzo.
On to Murray State!
One MSU grandma just told me “go trump”. The rest of the group told her to shut up. Baby boomers need to die
“You want me to lose?”
Alternately, “you want me to fuck Russian prostitutes?”
Damnit Northeastern. Burn some brackets damnit!
Man, Winston is really combining Isaiah Thomas eras right now. Short, white headband but mobile in the green and white like a Celtic and missing shots like a Cavelier. True legend.
Not even transitioning to Chelsea is gonna save this Bradley from
a life sentence in Fort Bragga loss.This Bradley Braves squad, I call Sasha Grey because no many how Spartans spear them through the backdoor, they take it and are still sticking around.
have we turned over our hopes and dreams to Belmont?
SURE HAVE, Other Hippo!
Murray and Marquette sounds like an old married couple who tell a lot of old timey racist jokes to their mixed breed grandchildren
How the fuckballs can I possibly stay up for the Cuse game at 10pm?. God the Damn!
War criminal Dubbya hit a hole in one today. Too bad he didn’t have that accuracy when he was bombing Iraq and Afghanistan.
“Now watch this drive.”
[Get’s to the green in two shots]
“Mission accomplished.”
I love how the rehab of GWB is that even though he’s a war criminal, at least he didn’t actively conspire with Russia.
“Well, we don’t know that we don’t know who he actively conspired with.”
-Donald R.
He just created the intimate creation between the GOP and Russia/Putin, and he stared deeply into Putin’s eyes and believed he could trust the man, and …
I think Larry Nassar found a shaman in prison that placed a hex.
we have our first Commentist stroke of the weekend?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7gMkiOPSeA
But MSU protected the shit out of him.
Bradley driving Mich. St. gaga
And don’t coopers make baskets? CANNOT be a coincidence.
[makes meat dress]
-Gaga
Looks like Florida State’s Seminole Fluid was too much for Vermont. Over there, police call it a Jameis Winston.
goddamnit name sake. I was always a good rebounder, if nothing else
LOL
Who asked for a Shazam movie?
Shaq’s dyslexia?
“What can Brown do for you? Pretty much everything.”
-Bradley
I’ve gotten great entertainment value out of my $20, at least
Like a premature go at a strip club.
Want one more dance?
uh….I think I’m good. For at least 24 hours
Gonna have to listen to the end of Murray on the radio. Damned juvenile delinquent teen and her (needed) extra therapy session. In fucking Durham.
Uh, can I change my bracket? I’m not sure MSU is going as far as I’ve got them going.
if they eke this out, they’ll make the Flacco Eight. Trust Hippo
though if every crew calls the chicken wing when Sparty has the ball? TOTES BONED
Embrace the chaos. Let your bracket turn to ash in your mouth.
17.5 to 1, folks!!
There’s just no stopping a Brad(ley), yo
Lets fucking do this
The MSU old bats have shut me up.
The $50 Bradley ML still looking like it has a shot.
But if UMd loses, it’s all worth it.
Fuck those assholes.
You spelled ‘Terrapins’ wrong. You were really close though.
You have two internet friends to thank for that one…
“All these folks yakking about Vermont and its advantages. Where were you three years ago?”
-Bernie
The Michigan fans here are rooting for MSU?
My new Michigan fan buddy tells me that they tend to cheer for the league vs. any other team.
Yeah sure, OK
– Ohio State
He was talking basketball. I’d be agreeing with you about the football.
fucking weirdos. There are some smug U*NC folks that insist we wolven sort should do the same.
They can eat shit and die, FWIW
I’m 100% rooting for Northeastern just to blow up everyone’s brackets
There are 4 people with 4 right.
Bfc is not one of them.
“Yeah, right.”
-yeah right
At least I put the tip in
At the very least Vermont still has… umm, barely adequate hiking trails? You can’t put a price on that, mister!
Some decent beer too.
GAY MARRIAGE FTW!!!!
Giving up on the ladies tWBS?
There’s a lot of fish sticks in the sea
Legal weed too.
Sigh. It is time for me to get back to work, which means only using one monitor for watching basketball.
I keep trying to check on the bracket group, and ESPN keeps redirecting me to the fantasy sports homepage. Is this my office internet telling me to get the fuck back to work?
You have 1 right.
2 wrongs apparently do make 1 right.
You checking DFO from work? Am posting some tits
I routinely have this site open at work.
Same. The majority of my writing and ocmmenting is done at work. The site rules are in place for a reason.
That 3 by Vermont was from Quebec.
I should mention half the MSU fans are retired age women.
Retired or unemployed retired?
They’re old enough where they should be retired and not taking a job from someone younger
Oh, then they probably have STD’s as they ain’t have dat sex ed.
True story was at a bar in Sun City Phoenix and started talking to a younger nurse and she said that the area had more STDs than ASU due to lack of sex education.
I’m so exhausted all the time being useless.
one of us!! one of us!!!!
Bar is has about a dozen MSU fans. It’s time to be really vocal about Bradley
6 people are 3-0
Bfc is not one of them.
Kinda feel sorry for those little guys.
/is 6-0 tall
I haven’t been this surprised with a result involving Belmont since Sarava
One thing I love about this place is that every once in a while I have to run over to Wiki so that the reference isn’t lost on me.
DFO: Come for the sports, stay for the high-brow dick jokes.
Did you say unibrow dick jokes? – G. Oden.
I work out of my house about 90% of the time now, but tomorrow I have to go in for a mandatory 1/4ly meeting. Fine, no big deal, free lunch, whatever. My assistant, however, just let me know that we are going to be doing team and trust-building exercises and probably chew up the afternoon entirely.
What a coincidence! I have two clients that I just have to meet with tomorrow.
HR is just fucking awful.
“You guys are just going to have to trust that I was here the whole time.”
[places hands across chest, closes eyes, falls back onto couch]
Hey, know what’s fun? When you’re trying to watch the NCAA Tournament and your mother decides she wants to “talk about things”.
And then she calls your ex-gf a bitch.
Holy shit Mom, wtf?
You know you can not answer the phone, right?
She fucking lives with me. No phone involved.
Plus she’s crying so I can’t exactly ignore it.
Of course SHE’S the woman who wants to talk about what is going on.
I think it’s time to drink myself to death.
Go!!!!!!
Hypothetical:
If one is drinking themselves to death, you spring for top shelf booze right?
Well it’s not like the 401K is going to do you any good.
Yeah, no shit. But seriously….why does every woman in my life have to be such a pain in my ass?
Hell no. But I did buy the top shelf crab meat to make soup.
The house smells really good right now so I can commit suicide in style.
No, in case it doesn’t work, you don’t want to be in huge debt and drunk.
Oh you poor bastard.
criminy, what a bananacakes ending
what a bunch of moe-rons
Much like one of my exes, New Mexico State refuses to go away.
Similar to all of the hobos in your neighborhood, my bracket is probably already dead.
Could always build a wall around your property. I hear that definitely works.
If you don’t bury them deep enough the frost and freeze cycle can make the remains rise to the surface.
Or so I’ve heard.
[makes notes using The Zodiac’s secret code]
Love the way Auburn plays but Bruce Pearl rubs me the wrong way.
What about Johnny Gill?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUvtlmlBbDg
also that will get one a coupon for the next visit to one’s sex slave ,, ppl forget that
they were great for 38 minutes
What is something an ex has never told a DFOer, Alex?
“BAZINGA!”
-DFOer, just prior to coming after 7 strokes
We’re all rooting for them, admit it:
[goes up to attic, opens oak chest, looks at Polaroids, tests whip, smiles as he squeezes roach clips that doubled as nipple clamps, leafs thru old copy of “Tight Ropes”]
-Old Dom preparing for upcoming game vs. Purdue
@balls this SI writer is stealing your bit. You know what to do.
Is this some veiled reference to anal?
Yale shot 21% from 3 and lost by 5. Fuuuu……
Bracket challenge McNairs Better half is a superb name IMO.
Bradley up 10-4 for all the truckers out there.