Your “I Guess ‘The Simpsons’ Is On” Sunday Evening Open Thread

If you’re not into the minimal sports that are on TV tonight, there appears to be little else to recommend.

I saw “Avengers: Endgame” on Saturday,

so I can greet the students who are waiting to discuss the movie with me on Monday. I’m the teacher, so I’m the spoiler.

No spoilers.

The movie gives people who invested in the series a satisfactory conclusion.

After making a billion dollars this weekend, I still don’t think casual fans have seen it yet – mostly just the obsessives & fanboys. But I had to; WineWife had plans to meet her girl friends for coffee, so it gave me something to do without making a mess of the house she’d just cleaned.

The movie is like an upper-end Vegas buffet – if you’ve been, let’s say the one at The Aria.

I got what I wanted, and there were some things I didn’t expect to put on my plate, but maybe I missed something I should have tried, given the price I paid to get in. For “Community” fans, the Russo brothers included two cameos. There are no end-credit scenes, save a mild, non-committal sound effect thing right at the very end (that you can find on YouTube but SPOILER WARNING) of the credits, but the actual actor credits are much longer than normal, and they conclude in a Star Trek VI kind of way. I will need to see it again, because there are no dead spots (to me) in the plot, although the start could’ve moved a bit faster, and clearly there are a few things I missed.


Tonight’s sports: not much tonight.

  • NHL:
    • Avalanche at Sharks – 7:30PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
      • The Sharks dropped this callback savagery after their Game 1 victory:

  • NBA:
    • no game scheduled; they were all daytime.
  • MLB:
    • Cleveland at Houston – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN
      • Really, if we are going to use [Redacteds], I should be more cognizant about that when using baseball names.

Other TV:

  • FOX:
    • The Simpsons – The family goes to Niagara Falls – Canadian hijinx ensue; PM Trudeau guest voices
    • Bob’s Burgers – “The kids have to run a mandatory mile for school on free-ice-cream-day”
  • Cinemax:
    • Goodfellas – 8:00PM
  • FX (America):
    • Deadpool – 8:00PM; 10:30PM

Looking things over, I feel confident that Monday brings the finest part of the Draft – signing UFAs. You know the guys – four-year guys whose talent or school’s stature kept them off the platform over the weekend, but there’s still a chance that some team somewhere can make use of what no one else saw during the 89 hours of the Draft. I especially enjoy the team quotes that sound positive but are really denigrations:

  • “We had our eye on ______ for a while, and feel lucky to have signed him.”
    • “We didn’t want to waste a pick on him, and luckily no one else did either.”
  • “_____ is a really promising talent, and we’re hoping we can develop him into an integral part of the scheme.”
    • “He wasn’t worth wasting a seventh-round pick on, but if we can use him for a year, why not?”

and the classic

  • “He’s a real character guy, and we’re hoping that we can put his unique talents to good use on our team.”
    • “I’M JON GRUDEN! LET’S BURN THIS FUCKER DOWN!!!”
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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Horatio, that no filter beer was a good lead in to some sours to close the night

Gratliff

“Please Khaleesi…i’m dying….please just touch it…..one time….” – Jorah

— Herbo (@HerbMcDerb) April 29, 2019

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Unsurprised

Oof. He must’ve gotten flamed to Hell by idiots.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Gratliff

So is Barry always that good or was that just a particularly funny episode?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s pretty good.

Unsurprised

I really should watch that show one of these days.

Horatio Cornblower

I only watched the first season; saving the second to binge. But I thought the first season was great.

Unsurprised

I’m still on the fence about watching this last season of Veep. I’ve heard it’s hit or miss with some bad misses.

Gratliff

Still think it should have ended with her flying away on marine one after losing the election, but barring them making another thick of it movie, this is probably the last we’ll get of this style of political comedy

Unsurprised

Last season especially just made me wish there really were nice and good people like Richard or as witty as Jonah’s uncle in politics.

But yeah. You’re right.

Horatio Cornblower

“Hey, I’ve got another banner fucking idea! Once we’ve disposed of our heavy cavalry, let’s line up our heavy infantry in front of the trench that we’re going to light on fire to stop the dead after they get through the infantry! What a morale boost for the troops!”

Jesus fuck, a 3-year old could have drawn up a better battle plan just by throwing his blocks randomly around the room.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

How can she be such a tease without being sexy?

Unsurprised

Jon Snow is the dumbest man in Westeros.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

I stopped by my local Goodwill store tonight, looking for a lamp of some sort. They didn’t have one I liked, but I almost bought a magnifying glass.

Hanging on the wall was this portrait. I would have bought it, but it seemed so perfect for a Goodwill store that I didn’t want to move it.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

“hey, what should we do with these 100,000 heavy cavalry that we literally shipped across an ocean in this all-important battle to save humanity?”

“Eh, fuck it. Have ’em charge blindly into the dark towards the army of the undead. I’m sure it’ll work out just dandy.”

Narrator: It didn’t.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Well, sometimes they charge in spite of the plan.”

-Constable d’Albret

yeah right

That was a long story arc and a ton of words for 30 seconds of ineffectiveness.

Senor Weaselo

What is “The Giants drafting Daniel Jones?” I’ll take Ballet for $2000, because it’s apparently the category the current guy isn’t so confident about.

Gratliff

I’ve never seen Barry before but left HBO on, and I just woke up my family cackling at the little girl biting the guy. Holy fuck that was perfect.

Horatio Cornblower

That episode of Game of Thrones can eat all the dicks. I couldn’t see 3/4 of it and what I could see didn’t make a goddamn bit of sense.

Gratliff

People are learning the hard way what digital compression does to mostly black scenes and smoke. Won’t be able to enjoy it properly until bluray

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Gratliff

My idiot brain kept thinking about how funny it would be if they just had ash’s modded car from the end of Army of Darkness drive through and save the day to the point I was barely paying attention to what was happening

Senor Weaselo

Dammit I came up with this just now and I don’t know if it’s true.
THIS EPISODE OF GAME OF THRONES I CALL IT THE STORY “THE UGLY BARNICLE” BECAUSE EVERYONE DIES.

Horatio Cornblower

Not nearly true enough.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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That was bananacakes.

The Maestro

OH MY FUCKING GOD HOLY SHIT

rockingdog

and demon lady dies!!!! nooo way!!!!!!

rockingdog

thats was sick!!!!!
little arya chick knows whats upppp!!!!! jumping at the ice king like that!!!! yooooo
and sheee survived!!!!

yeah right

Brother DJ TAJ called that shit in season one.
Seriously.

Unsurprised

I’ve given serious thought to her ending up on the iron throne for a couple seasons.

scotchnaut

I’ve never watched the silly Thrones show but I am curious about these dragoons that folks are talking about. Can anyone tell me when they dismount or would that be a spoiler?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That joke was a fucking deep cut.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That explains the leather inseams.

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rockingdog

slo mo deaths with the piano is nice….

theeWeeBabySeamus

San Jose is really beginning to piss me off.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Jeebus Avs….I don’t even like you guys much and you gave me a heart attack.
Way to hang on tho.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Beheading……

right out the door now.

rockingdog

lord friend zone with the sweet save!!!!!

Unsurprised

He died as he lived

The Maestro

Oh this is bad.

rockingdog

ice king raising all the dead…. ohhh noooo!!!!!

rockingdog

axe guy and fire sword sneaking around….. LOL
and fire sword guy dies….

rockingdog

this is like the scene in the kitchen with the raptors in jurassic park

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Someone asked me about GOT tonight, and I said “I’ve never watched it, but it’s about dragons fucking their sisters, right?” And they said I wasn’t wrong.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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That’s crazy.

rockingdog

utttt ohhhhhh they got thru the fire circle……

Unsurprised

Nobody could have ever seen this coming

rockingdog

eye rolls!!! drink!

rockingdog

cute. sansa and tyrion have a moment.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He’s at the right height.

rockingdog

the retreat begins….dooo the big FIRE LOOP!!!!
OHHHH noooo! they cant do the fire loop cause itsss TOOO COLD!!!!
gotta get the Demon Lady to do it!!!!

rockingdog

goooooo dragons!!!!

rockingdog

then the all died in the darkness

Senor Weaselo

Corey Ballantine got drafted by the Giants, and then he got shot. I’d post the link but you know how the Times gets with its online articles.
/Someone says it’s still not the worst pick the Giants made

scotchnaut

“Stay away from Topeka” has always been my mantra. Still true today.

rockingdog

wait demon baby lady just helped all the homies by lighting up their swords with fire?
thats the only thing i’ve missed, right?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The syphilis does cause a burning sensation.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oh, you meant…..

The Maestro

T minus two minutes until the bloodbath begins.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Period porn has two meanings.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Okay, three if you are an English major.

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Boeing sure over reacted to the 737 Max software issues.

#deadhorse

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wow, how big was that sheet of paper?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Same size as what my divorce papers were on.

King Hippo

Sunday night is very depressing. More than the other nights, even.

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

I wish Veep were still watchable. I gave the season premiere a go and was like…nope, I remember why it ain’t in my DVR schedule.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Watching Brienne get knighted, again, and it is hands down my favorite scene in all of the seasons.

yeah right

That was a fantastic moment.

Horatio Cornblower

I watched the last Avengers movie on Netflix last night. Anyone who’s goal is to painlessly reduce the population by 1/2 is OK with me.

So long as he starts with Pats fans, and none of the ones around here.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello

John Stossel enjoying a day at the ballpark.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Yesterday, I went to bed at 4:30 in the afternoon. Tonight, I shall try to stay awake long enough for HBO must-see-tv.

You know, “Barry”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Baseball has been Barry, Barry good to you.

King Hippo

It’s like the universe remembered The Cardinal Way and blessed us with being good again.

And our two best pitchers are still hurt.

/and an NC State alumnus is the catcher in waiting

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Okay, okay, I made a very remote reference.

King Hippo

The #BFIB and Everton are all I have that doesn’t fill me with infinite rage.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
LemonJello

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Horatio Cornblower

Holding off on Barry to binge the entire season. The first one was fantastic, and took me two days.

King Hippo

It hasn’t lost its fastball. You would think the hitman show wouldn’t be the rare HBO series not too dark/heavy to binge, but that’s how HBO defies expectations.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I missed the call; the Nuggets (NBA team, not PK’s nose pickings) won the round against the Spurs. The season got even better for them.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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LemonJello

That’s a mess of seamen.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They thought ‘ride the barrel’ was just done in a port of call.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Boeing sure over reacted to the 737 Max issues.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
King Hippo

I am going to miss Brandon Perna. 🙁

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You would have never made it through the Reeves era….. or any previous era.

King Hippo

dude, I have been a fan since I was 2. Very, very well aware of the master plan of Reeves to get Elway (the QB, who I loved) killed.

He’s a stubborn egomaniac of an executive though. He’s like Bart Simpson playing rock, paper, scissors (“good old rock, nuthin’ beats rock)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Two? Oh, you bet.

King Hippo

My first childhood memory is listening to a Broncos game on the car radio. My parents back this story up, consistent since age 2. I didn’t decide I would be an NC State fan (like all of my family) until age 5, despite us going to all the home games.

King Hippo

That said, I don’t recall any of the pre-Morton QBs

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’ll amend that to say if you followed the drafts of any other era, you wouldn’t have made it. Of course there was not enough information on college players available then to mold opinions and make people judge someone before they’ve taken a single NFL snap. Reeves & Co. had some very “interesting” drafts.

King Hippo

Tommy. Maddox.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That one was my personal favorite.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Ted Gregory was almost equal. That whole draft class was not stellar.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The parents. That explains it.

King Hippo

My dad was a Redacteds fan, my mom ain’t care.

Unlike me, my dad has actually been to a Donks game in Mile High. He wore his Redacteds hat to prevent sunburn, and some drunk guy tried to fight him.

They were playing the Boltmen! And he was visibly cheering for DEN.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Drunk guy in the South Stands???? GTFO!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

@Senor…. Ghost peppers went in yesterday. Reapers will go in sometime in the next week probably.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I almost set my house on fire today.
That is all.

Senor Weaselo

You want a medal for it?

theeWeeBabySeamus

No, just some money to pay the water bill from when I put out the fire for an hour.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You should wax your balls instead of the singe method.

theeWeeBabySeamus

At my age, shaving is the only option.
Plucking and waxing will tear my old scrotum right off. At least that is my phobia.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Another joke murdered without cause.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not sure how I murdered your joke by adding my own, but ok.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oh, that’s it. “Without cause” was too strong.

yeah right

Is this the appropriate time to start the Game of Thrones death pool?

ballsofsteelandfury

It would, but doesn’t everyone pretty much die?

yeah right

Tonight?
Yeah. Think so.

ballsofsteelandfury

I don’t either. I’d just be guessing character names.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m guessing that Kandrin of Windholme bites it in the first ten minutes.

Brick Meathook

Three things I’ve never seen:

1) Any Game of Thrones episode
2) Any Lord of the Rings movie
3) Any Marvel movie

/works in hollywood vfx industry

LemonJello

Is there any stop motion work left?

Brick Meathook

Yeah, in Portland.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

There is a bunch of lazy people up there.

litre_cola

I have also seen none of those. I have read all of Tolkiens books but no movies.

King Hippo

Holy Fuck, Brick. I guess I am not the only one in the world!!

yeah right

After tonight I expect just a handful of characters left. I haven’t felt this tense since the final episode of The Sopranos which I watched in real time.

Senor Weaselo

All I know from last week is Arya’s gonna be like “Doesn’t matter, had sex.”
/I don’t have HBO

yeah right

She’s on my list because of the had sex thing.

ballsofsteelandfury

So, Game of Thrones is just one long Friday the 13th movie? Every character that had sex dies?

yeah right

Maybe. In her case it’s more of a “It’s cool because I’ve done it all now” type of thing.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I mean Gregor Clegane is basically Jason Vorhees at this point.

yeah right

I think he’s going to live because he’s got a brother that needs to be addressed.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That would go along with life, well, life would be everyone.

US horror movies; why do 95% of the women with the best breasts have to die?