AFL Beat 2019 Round 9

This week,

Even the referee was happy that the Lions won
This is your Mark of the Year
And let me introduce you to Natalie Yoannidis in the green and Neroli Meadows in the red

Welcome to Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat!

Round 9 Recaps and Highlights

We are again on our normal schedule of one Australian Friday Night game (North American Thursday night), five Australian Saturday games (North American Friday night/Saturday morning), and three Australian Sunday games (North American Saturday night/Sunday morning).

This week, the first game had the struggling Melbourne Demons traveling to Perth to take on the West Coast Eagles. It was always going to be a difficult task, but the Demons were game from the very beginning.

They took the lead right away and, even though the Eagles took it back midway through the first, they snatched it right back at the end of the period. The Demons led up until the last quarter, when a string of 4 unanswered goals gave the Eagles the lead.

The Demons answered to level the scoreboard, but another string of 3 unanswered Eagles goals effectively ended the game.

Here are the full game highlights:

West Coast Eagles 85 Melbourne Demons 69 (Nice!)

The proper Friday Night game had the Collingwood Magpies hosting the St. Kilda Saints in a game that had the word “blowout” written all over it. To everyone’s surprise, however, the Saints hung in there and actually had the game tied deep in the third.

Unfortunately for Saints fans, they would not score any more goals after that until a meaningless score at the end and the foreseen blowout came to be.

Here are the full-game highlights:

Collingwood Magpies 112 St. Kilda Saints 71

Later, the Brisbane Lions hosted the Adelaide Crows in a game that was one of their biggest tests so far and would go a long way towards determining if the Lions are truly finals contenders.

That question is still unanswered, as far as I’m concerned. The Lions played well and built up a nice lead early in the fourth only for the Crows to mount a furious comeback and almost steal the game. One gets the feeling that the Crows only needed a few more minutes and they would have gotten the four points.

Here are the full-game highlights:

Brisbane Lions 93 Adelaide Crows 92

Even later on Friday night, my Geelong Cats hosted the Western Bulldogs. I ended up watching the full-game replay on Saturday morning and I was happy to see that the Cats held off a tough challenge from the Doggies.

The difference in the game, like last week, was accuracy in front of goal. The Cats had it and the Doggies didn’t. In the end, the game turned into a blowout, but it really wasn’t indicative of the type of game it really was.

Here are the highlights:

Geelong Cats 133 Western Bulldogs 89

Speaking of inaccuracy in front of goal, that was the story of the next game between the Essendon Bombers and Fremantle Dockers. Neither team was able to get much going offensively.

Unfortunately for the Dockers, the Bombers were able to hit targets early in the fourth and their valiant comeback effort late in the fourth came up just short.

Here are the full-game highlights:

Essendon Bombers 60 Fremantle Dockers 53

The last game of the night featured the North Melbourne Kangaroos facing the Sydney Swans in Tasmania.

The theme for the week seems to be valiant comebacks that came up short because that’s exactly what happened in Tasmania.

It came down to the last two minutes:

Here are the full-game highlights:

North Melbourne Kangaroos 72 Sydney Swans 77

I was able to watch the first half of the first game of North American Saturday night before I succumbed to sleep. The Port Adelaide Power were hosting the Gold Coast Suns in a rainstorm that ironically suited the Suns.

I went to sleep with the Suns holding a slim lead at the half. The storm grew and the Power lifted their efforts in the second half. The Suns couldn’t match the intensity and that was that.

Here are the full-game highlights:

Port Adelaide Power 89 Gold Coast Suns 51

The second of the Saturday night games had the Hawthorn Hawks “visiting” the Richmond Tigers at the MCG and they may as well have been playing in Perth.

After a strong Hawks start, the Tigers took control from midway through the first quarter and never looked back. There was a brief moment of Hawks competency in the beginning of the second half, but that was quickly snuffed out by the young Tigers.

Here are the full-game highlights:

Richmond TIgers 95 Hawthorn Hawks 59

The last game of the Round had the GWS Giants hosting the Carlton Blues after last week’s embarrassing defeat to the Hawks.

Talk about getting exactly what the doctor ordered! The Giants easily took care of the lowly Blues.

Here are the full-game highlights:

GWS Giants 138 Carlton Blues 45

Let’s take a look at the ladder, shall we?

1Geelong Cats81032146.2
2Collingwood Magpies72028129.5
3GWS Giants63024129.1
4Brisbane Lions63024103.51
5Richmond Tigers63024103.49
6West Coast Eagles63024100.0
7Adelaide Crows54020115.3
8Port Adelaide Power54020107.7
9Fremantle Dockers45016110.4
10Essendon Bombers45016100.8
11Hawthorn Hawks4501699.7
12Western Bulldogs4501696.4
13St. Kilda Saints4501689.4
14Sydney Swans3601284.9
15Melbourne Demons3601276.2
16Gold Coast Suns3601276.0
17North Melbourne Kangaroos270882.0
18Carlton Blues180476.4

Here is the Balls Graph:

Download (PDF, 236KB)

The Cats are still a game on top of the Pies, who are a game on top of the rest of the competition. Things are starting to settle a bit with the cream slowly rising to the top and the fiber-less turds settling in the bottom. There is still a lot of churn in the middle, though, so it’s not clear yet who will be contesting finals.

Oh, and Carlton is bad.


Footy Tipping Contest

Here is where we are after Round Nine:

Total TipsTotal Margin
2Son Of Spam81150244
4BC Dick62147314
5Yeah Right81146338
6Why Eagles Why8345227
8Dolph Ucker81542266
9Joliet Jake Delhomme61141284
10Game Time Decision6041301

Big congratulations to BFC, who got a perfect 9 for 9 this week, and to Game Time Decision, who got the margin exactly right in the West Coast-Melbourne game. They are our two Rex Ryan Footy Tips All-Stars of the Week!

Overall, it was a good weekend of tipping for the bulk of the competition. Only Blax forgot to put the tips in and was punished by the home teams winning all but one game. Well done to everyone that did put in their tips!



AFL Round 10

Here is the schedule for this week (all times Pacific):

Friday, May 24, 2019

2:50 AM (Late Thursday Night!) – Sydney Swans v Collingwood Magpies at the SCG

The Swans have started righting the ship, but a date against the Pies might be a little too much for them right now.

8:45 PM – Hawthorn Hawks v Port Adelaide Power at University of Tasmania Stadium

The Hawks got embarrassed by the Tigers last week. Luckily, they tend to play well and win in Tasmania.

9:10 PM – Western Bulldogs v North Melbourne Kangaroos at Marvel Stadium

Both teams can look good one week and bad the next. And even lose when they play well.

11:35 PM – Adelaide Crows v West Coast Eagles at Adelaide Oval

The Crows are coming off a loss to the Lions while the Eagles are flying high (sorry!)

Saturday, May 4, 2019

2:25 AM – Gold Coast Suns v Geelong Cats at Metricon Stadium

The Cats get another game against a team they should beat on paper. Last year, this was a problem. Will this year be different?

2:25 AM – Richmond Tigers v Essendon Bombers at the MCG

This should be a great matchup as both teams are back to playing the way they are capable of.

8:10 PM – Melbourne Demons v GWS Giants at the MCG

Can the Giants get rid of the “Can’t win at the MCG” tag? They have a very good opportunity against the Demons.

10:20 PM – St. Kilda Saints v Carlton Blues at Marvel Stadium

Finally, the Saints get a chance to stop their downward slide. Will they take advantage of it?

11:40 PM – Fremantle Dockers v Brisbane Lions at Optus Stadium

After a big win against a tough side, can the Lions do it again in one of the hardest places to play as a visitor?


That’s all for this week! Next week is one of my favourite rounds of the Year: The Sir Doug Nicholls Indigenous Round. I will be back midweek with a special AFL Beat post showing all the guernsey designs and what they mean. Stay tuned for that.

Oh, and Neroli Meadows and Natalie Yoannidis are announcers on Fox Footy in Australia. Natalie appears on the Up The Guts comedy show as well as other Fox productions while Neroli appears on the On The Mark talk show which features an all-woman analyst panel and some AFL broadcasts. Check them out on the Watch AFL app.

They’re not only beautiful, but they are excellent announcers/ commentators/ analysts.

See you next week!




International Member of the Geelong Cats and recovering Steelers fan. Likes Butts. And Balls. And Boobs. Pretty much anything that starts with the letter B. Preferably together.
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Game Time Decision

Lose the zero (GTD), get with the hero(bfc)
/need to copy someone else’s picks going forward


I have no idea how to tip my team this week. Le sigh.


Since the week I made all the picks and still got a goose egg…..well, let’s just say my paychecks have been going to the John Bolton Takes an Interest in Australia PAC.


I’m heavily invested in “Shouldn’t the United States Have a Secretary of Defense Before We Start a New War” futures.


Baby Boomers haven’t seen the US win a war in their lifetimes, so it makes sense they’d be happy to go at it with someone completely unqualified leading the armed forces.

I mean, it’s worked the budget, tax equality, and justice reform….

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

We haven’t won anything since the big reorganization in 1947 that created the Department of Defense. “Department of Defense” is too fucking passive and our enemies are no longer sufficiently scared. I say we revert back to the “War Department” like it was called back when we used to win wars. Let’s get rid of the Air Force too, make it the Army Air Corps again. I’m right, you know.


comment image


If you had to define generations with a single word, with Boomers I’d have to go with “greed” and X I’d go with “cynicism”. Not sure what I’d put for Greatest or Millennials.


Millennials are conflicted. Gen Z are GFY


As an aside…hotel “Continental Breakfast” should be called…”Shitty Breakfast”.


Although there was one once at the Hilton in Valencia just outside of Six Flags which was good.


Make Your Own Waffle bars are at least an improvement from Shitty to Crappy


Is it wrong that I root moar for Sydney and Hawthorn to lose than for Geelong to win?


Yeah, probably is.


Nope, embrace the hate.