Request Line: Eli’s Slumber Party Mixtape – Volume 2 (D.A.R.E. to Just Say No)

INT. ELI MANNING’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

DANIEL JONES removes the set of earplugs that ELI MANNING had provided him with.

DANIEL: Hey, that was pretty boss!

ELI: [wary of sarcasm] Really?

DANIEL: [seemingly genuine] Yeah man, totally.

ELI: [smiles bashfully] Yeah, I guess it’s pretty cool.

DANIEL: [points to the speakers attached to ELI’s computer] Let’s crank it up some of that Bow Wow Wow and shake the foundations.

ELI: [considers, then shakes his head] Nah, I don’t want to deal with that kind of heat from Mo…I mean Olivia.  Especially on book club night.

DANIEL: Well speaking of candy, man…[makes exaggerated sniffing noise, then raises eyebrows]…do you like to party?

ELI: What do you mean?

DANIEL looks around conspiratorially, then opens up his duffel bag and begins laying items out onto Eli’s desk.

ELI: Holy sh…ugar!

DANIEL: As soon as they called my name on April 25th, I said to myself “Daniel, it’s time to turn your drug problem into a drug collection.”  Sweet, right?  That’s like one-third of my signing bonus right there.

ELI: [very, very nervously] Listen, man, I don’t want you to think I’m a narc or anything, but…I’m really not into that stuff.

DANIEL: Huh.  Kind of feels like you don’t trust me, man.

ELI: No, no, it’s not that.  It’s just that, you know, the NFL’s drug testing policy…

DANIEL: You already got tested though, right?

ELI nods.

DANIEL: What, you think I brought a shitload of drugs along just to get you popped and suspended by the NFL so I could take over the starting spot?  That’s not what I’m about, man.  Here, let me show you that I’m on the level. [points to drug collection] Pick something at random.  Anything you want.

ELI: I don’t want to do drugs, Daniel.

DANIEL: You’re not doing drugs, I’m doing drugs.  Just pick something.

ELI swallows and pokes his finger down over one of the various bags.

DANIEL: [eyes widen] Holy shit, this Eli the Barrow Boy character rolls hard.  Fucking sweet, man, I’ll hit it.

DANIEL takes a capsule from the baggie, opens it up and dumps the powder into the crook of his thumb, then with a single gulping huff snorts the entire amount.  

DANIEL: It’s gonna be a little bit before this really starts to hit – you got a Playstation we can jam on while we’re waiting?

ELI: I got a Sega Genesis.

DANIEL: Cool, cool.  [reaches back into the duffel bag, pulls out a mylar zip-lock bag while concealing the label from ELI, and dumps its contents into his hands] And here, man.  I don’t want you getting left behind, so how about a good old-fashioned sugar rush to keep you on pace with me?

Note: Today’s topic is DRUGS.  Specifically, drugs that DANIEL JONES would be into, though if you’ve got your own proclivities that’s fine too.  This is probably the richest topic in Request Line history, so the limit is FIVE songs per person.  So make ’em count.  I’ll get us started with one of the greatest odes to a substance ever recorded.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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yeah right

I know!

Let’s have a TRIPLE shot!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bq7lf3-zgfE

yeah right
Don T

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scotchnaut

Golly gee. I wonder if this fits the given theme.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjQ4U-3FNrw

scotchnaut

Is “The War on Drugs” too obvious?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5DzTaYakLo

SonOfSpam

5a. In conclusion, a remake

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vt1Pwfnh5pc

SonOfSpam

5b. And the original (which I kinda think is better live)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KR4DjYczINM

SonOfSpam

4. If you watch this video carefully, you may see people who are high.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vl89g2SwMh4

Beerguyrob

4. A little Sabbath, anyone?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5_eoB7v5R8

SonOfSpam

3. Some good old 60s psychedelia. Sung by Kenny Rogers. Wait…what?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h77jpjFYOSM

Beerguyrob

And now, the only song about drugs that Mo- err.. Olivia will let him listen to.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9nE2spOw_o

Beerguyrob

A classic from my hard partying days.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4MtdpNdNpKs

Beerguyrob

And hard partying can only mean one thing:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WccfbPQNMbg

scotchnaut

If ever you walk the tunnels underneath Carleton U, you will eventually pass by a several years painted-over mural of the Silver Surfer inserting heroin into his arm. That was my floor (First Russell!) that did that.

SonOfSpam

2. Sure, Rivers, long as you’re buying

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_Wu6lI-42w

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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SonOfSpam

1. Terrific value at this point in the draft

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hd3oqvnDKQk

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Hallucinogenics seem vastly under represented here, so for my final choice:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sESRg-f9MkU

Game Time Decision

#3 go hard. And for some reason i likey this song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSPT27XyY1U

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

If you’ve ever dated a truly crazy girl…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hCd28zYZzBg

Game Time Decision

#2 when you need more to get your fix
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jryzEU7WAlg

Game Time Decision

thanks, supposed to be this, copy + paste fail
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jryzEU7WAlg

SonOfSpam

Probably because you’re on drugs.

Game Time Decision

shhhhhhhhh. Hippo will want me to share again

Game Time Decision
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

A fun summer song about running coke.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5TqNf9zDOw

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I am SHOCKED this is still on the board.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvDZuptvupk

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

In BOLTMAN speak, “SHOCKED” is a synonym for “CHARRRRGGGGEEEDDD UP!”

Just Lurking

Rush: A Passage to Bangkok

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LV-IDbU0lA

theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Meh, screw it. RTD can punch me in a couple weeks for breaking his rules if he wants to….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeYsTmIzjkw

Sharkbait

Ask and ye shall receive tWBS. Final pick

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QCaaAyz-yA

Senor Weaselo

Wait, isn’t it called “The Next Episode”?

theeWeeBabySeamus

If no one posts anything by Snoop I’m going to be very upset,

Cuntler

How about Snoop and Willie Nelson together?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyBOpsF4ASo

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL, Inorite?

Just Lurking
theeWeeBabySeamus

Well-played.

Just Lurking

The Offspring: Mota (subtitles be damned)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vF57TEOdLjA

Cuntler

For my last choice, I’ll pick this song, as its drug references are very subtle:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMK4cfXj5c0

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fine, since RTD is being selfish I guess this is my last entry.
I am NOT happy!!!!!!
LOL
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0i62GnQoo0

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Cuntler

Here’s one drug Eli and Daniel have probably done.

Novocaine – Beck

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2whdGwK84Y

Cuntler

3. Just One Fix – Ministry

(sorry yeah right)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYYGKCanqfA

Just Lurking
Cuntler

2. Sister Morphine – The Rolling Stones

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C39kQoprfP0

Sharkbait

#4 There are A LOT of songs about cocaine.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_j_48G2L_o

Cuntler

1, Ween – Bananas and Blow

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Gd87JmkAkE

Just Lurking
theeWeeBabySeamus

Nice. And we’ll double that up easily.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1b_CqeyKWYg

theeWeeBabySeamus

@RTD….I am petitioning that this doesn’t count against my total of five because I’m only posting it to screw with SoS.
I will await your judgement on that….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAdRPrXdXTU

litre_cola

I don’t even know what to say.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL

theeWeeBabySeamus

Boooooo!!!!!!!

SonOfSpam

Joke’s on you my friend. Their early work was a little too new wave for my tastes, but when Sports came out in ’83, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He’s been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humour.

Just Lurking

Another obvious choice: Clapton’s Cocaine
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdDhV45lYHU

Sharkbait
Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Let’s get the obvious one out of the way:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hCjBnzNlCAM

theeWeeBabySeamus

Most cheery song about meth addiction ever recorded.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Somewhere, King Hippo is jumping for joy right now.