Your “Beerguy’s Opening Night” Saturday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

Evenin’ folks.

I’m not actually here tonight. (Some would argue I’m never actually “here” at all.) Tonight is the opening evening of baseball at my beloved Nat Bailey Stadium.

I think it’s my 27th season selling beer at that venue. Winewife is kinda tired of the whole deal, what with my advanced age & such. But it’s been an enjoyable summer pastime over the decades, and I think contributes to both my general pleasant demeanour

and willingness to go back into a classroom in September.

Besides, what’s not to love? The view is great,

I’ve been part of some promotions,

And get to hang out with my summer friends.

So, once again begins another summer of selling beers and getting jeers. The arguments are worth it.


Tonight’s sports:

  • CFL:
    • REDBLACKS at Stampeders – 7:00PM | TSN
    • Blue Bombers at BC Lions – 10:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN
  • MLB:
    • Yankees at White Sox – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Cubs at Dodgers – 9:10PM | MLBN
  • MiLB:
    • Spokane at Vancouver – 10:00PM | Sportsnet Pacific
      • If you can watch, you’ll definitely hear me.
  • College World Series:
    • Game 2: Florida State vs. Arkansas – 7:00PM | ESPN
  • CONCACAF Gold Cup:
    • Group Stage:
      • Canada vs. Martinique = 7:30PM | UNI / TSN3
      • Mexico vs. Cuba – 10:00PM | UNI / TSN2

Go forth & commentate!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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UnsurprisedMr. AyoBC DickALXMACBrettFavresColonoscopy Recent comment authors
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ALXMAC

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I don’t understand why CoronaHombreBront won’t deliver beers to my home.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I blame the Democrats

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

yeah right

I had one of the greatest days of my life today.

I saw dinosaurs and butterflies and my youngest granddaughter saw them too.

Then we went to Chinatown and had amazing food then we went to the Last Book Store and bought books – while they’re still allowed – and then we came home and got blazed – not the granddaughter, she was playing with crayons, – and I’m just so goddamn happy I’m about to burst.

There are slippery shrimp in my fridge right now!

Want a taste?

I do!

How the fuck you doin’ Boys!

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I’m trying to figure out how to stay up for another 8 hours to watch the finish of Le Mans. Can’t believe I got up at 5am today to watch all of this.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Only two more hours. I can do it!

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Am I the only one here? Okay! Here’s a Merlin engine supercharger. This engine (and its license-built American equivalent) had over 10,000 parts. Very British:

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

If you want something cheery and uplifting that restores your faith in the human ability to analyze a situation and remove preconceptions based on strong evidence in front of them to the contrary; binge watch Chernobyl. Get the whole message at once.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

It’s on my to-do list. Now that hockey season is over I should find time this next week.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’d suggest not binging it. It’s great, but Jesus, it reminds you how much we are collectively fucking up the future.

Gratliff

You can further improve your faith by reading up on families that moved to Chernobyl to get away from the civil war shit there and have basically opted for a slow suicide rather than deal with the insanity going on in Ukraine.

yeah right

It was a good damn watch.

Intense.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Sunset was 9:45 yesterday. The sun is still out. Also, Cracked.com somehow still exists in 2019.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I took this a minute ago. I apologize, but they don’t clean the outside of the windows for some ungodly reason.

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Cracked existing after 1974 is still a mystery to me.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

This isn’t the exact clip I was looking for but this is 5 minutes of classic Simpsons genius:

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Also, I came down with a cold today, and I haven’t really interacted with anyone closely for the past week as I’ve been working at home. RTD has a cold also; can these germs now spread via the internet? Has this been studied? Don’t say no if you don’t have proof. Thank you and God Bless.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

It’s just after dark here in Los Angeles, and I’ve been hearing fireworks (or artillery) for some time now.

Is today some Mexican holiday?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

The locals are celebrating the trade for Anthony Davidson to the Lakers.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Yeah, ¡SÁBADO GIGANTE!

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m hearing them too. I’ll venture to say that this is due to the Mexican National Team beating Cuba 7-0 in the Gold Cup and I’ll further add that this is extremely stupid.

It’s not like they beat Germany or France or a good team like that…

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Buddy Cole, Toilet Wine Enthusiast CEO
Buddy Cole, Toilet Wine Enthusiast CEO

OJ is on Twitter. He follows two accounts: Jewish Waiters Guild and Ford

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Say what you will about him being a remorseless murderer, but at least he never flew on the Lolita Express to Jeffrey Epstein’s rape island like certain members of his legal dream team.

BC Dick

Who can really blame juice? He came home and Ron Goldman was banging his wife. Justifiable.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I know the name of the shoe and the goddamn glove brands, but why didn’t the knife manufacturer ever parlay that into a fortune?

King Hippo

#BFIB lost 8-7, when they had a pitcher (pinch running) thrown out at the plate trying to score from 1B on a pop fly double

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Eye Tit.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

That would be one hell of a hand job.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Here’s to mud in your eye!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Is that Mike Francesca?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Being old and squishing one’s balls is no fun. Mine have survived so far, but I’m very careful getting in cars.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

All a man has is his word and his ba— his word.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That tree date was a bad Tinder choice.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

All this talk locally about the passing of Pat Bowlen and the affection of the player, coaches, and front office just goes to show you that one should go ahead and pay for a higher quality and more discreet massage parlor handjobs.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Who’s in the lead for inheriting the team? Or is it still a shit show?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The family splits the owner$hip, but the “smartest” daughter is going to run things.

The lawsuits may have been avoided.

King Hippo

I am really, really nervous about this succession plan. Especially since the NFL favours the daughter who has Alzheimer’s on BOTH sides of her DNA.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

This is the league of the future, where nothing could ever possiblie go wrong.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehehe…..I’m watching a space documentary about “Tabby’s Star” and how that system is behaving..
Hehehehe….it’s a little funny.

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s about 1400 light years away, and behaving very erratically.
LMFAO.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Doesn’t look that far away.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

sorry, typo there

theeWeeBabySeamus

Very strange dust…..

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I watched all of that.

Wakezilla

So, I just stretched my back and then it spasmed like crazy. As you can tell, my fitness new year goals aren’t going so well

King Hippo

the worst back issue I can remember was produced by a yawn

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Logan’s Run maybe had the right idea

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

“Go Trevor, tell your story!”

— Rockies fan caught on the field mic as Trevor Story hits an RBI single, infuriating me because I really wanted to make fun of him for his dumb chant

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

I am surprised there are so many black players on the Canadian national team. This makes me uncomfortable.

King Hippo

hey now, plenty of black guys dodged the draft too

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

“Yes, Mr. President, we know…”

Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Wakezilla

Despite what you may think, some black Americans didn’t like to be slaves, so they moved to Canada.

King Hippo

as a graduate of Southern public schools, I assure yeeewww this can’t possibly be so

King Hippo

on mlb.tv, they keep running a Jaguar ad where the two “owners” are a hip young white lady and an even hipper black businessman. As if they don’t produce the most white male product on the market.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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blaxabbath

Wifey is already surfing pininterest to provide me with projects for the new house. Why, yes dear, I did want to finish all these projects on a 79 year old house just to move to a newer home and build you a custom baby gate!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

That’s the spirit!

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

One that looks like Castle Grayskull’s front door?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Handsome Greg Garcia just knocked an inside the park home run as far as I’m concerned! (Double with two base error, but come on!)

King Hippo

just look at that handsome face! How could one say no??

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

My first two bases were on an error.

Don T

Argies act completely reasonably
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King Hippo

HA!!! I get it because I seen Chernobyl.

blaxabbath

THIS NAT BAILEY STADIUM I CALL IT OAKLAND-ALAMEDA COUNTY STADIUM BECAUSE IT WON’T HAVE AN NFL TEAM THIS TIME NEXT YEAR!

Don T

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King Hippo

see, you’re a good sport for a Nazi-sympathizer 😀

Don T

As I’m not a narc, hating Colombia is impossible. Sube el volumen

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

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King Hippo

Argentines React Reasonably

ballsofsteelandfury

I would totally write that, but it would be in Spanish and only Don T would get all the jokes.

King Hippo

I would enjoy the hell out of the Google Translate version!

ballsofsteelandfury

ANOTHER GOLAZO!

Don T

Buenos Aires burns

King Hippo

Messi didn’t even take the last free kick!

King Hippo

Jesus, that guy is RIPPED. He’s…gonna fuck tonight.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Those poor donkeys.

King Hippo

she won’t shit right FOAR a week!

King Hippo

Los Donkeyfuckers can fucking play some footy

King Hippo

I got an a bit on “goals over 1.5” 2 seconds before the bet went off the board!

King Hippo

#LOLMessi

ballsofsteelandfury

GOLAZO!

Don T

Uf. That needle was thred!

King Hippo

holy fuckballs, that’s one hell of an impact sub!!

Fronkenshteen

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Another image from Beerguyrob’s stomping grounds.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I was hoping to see an edit with Beerguyrob mentioned.

Fronkenshteen

I’m getting to it! I’m still doing the Carlton Dance over my success at successfully posting a (goddamn) image here.

Wakezilla

Depending on the year this was taken, I was selling booze right behind you

Fronkenshteen

Qatar is in this tourney? I know my world geography is B- at best, but HUH?!

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Don’t forget the island of Rand McNally as well!

Fronkenshteen

[throws globe and diploma into fireplace]

Fronkenshteen

BEER. GUY. ROB. A true Canadian hero!