Sunday Gravy with yeah right: Chef Be Not Proud.

yeah right

yeah right

yeah right is a lifelong Vikings fan. Loves to cook but doesn’t plate. Loves to drink but hates hangovers. Loves to read. Has no regrets.
yeah right

Good morning everyone!

Glad to have you back!

Suppose I should offer a quick apology before getting started. Today’s recipe came as a result of having an overly busy weekend, which cut into my planning/prep/research/cooking time. I wouldn’t technically say I “half-assed” this. This was more like “fully-assed.”

Stop! Regroup.

We’re going to make an amazing recipe that you and all of your very stoned 17 year old friends will never forget.

Pizza casserole!

Goddammit, life is this crazy fucking tilt-a-whirl where you order a corn dog and then somebody else ate your corn dog and sometimes you just don’t have the time to make something elaborate. Or something.

I’m reaching here.

I’ve done a bunch of casseroles before so this is another in a series of tasty, simple and let’s say “ample” meals that can be cooked in one dish.

So why do I feel dirty for this one? I’m not talking dirty like “slightly naughty” here I’m talking dirty like “being on the wrong end of a donkey show” dirty.

Let’s try an origin story for this one.

Back in the late 1600’s in Naples, a local ashtray farmer named Guiseppe Stunod was experimenting with various store bought jars of sauce and cured meats when he stumbled on a recipe he called “Motherfucker That’s a Lot of Fucking Food.” After rethinking the title of the dish he renamed it “Pizza in Padella” or pizza casserole. Guiseppe went on to found the Institute of Pizza Casserole in Naples that was later destroyed by pitchfork yielding locals who found his dish an affront to their better sense. He then immigrated to the US where he was welcomed with open arms by obese Midwesterners who fell in love with his simple and insanely unhealthy concoction. He was later elected mayor of Waukeegan Illinios where a statue of his likeness is still prominently displayed.

Not buying it either huh?

It’s gonna sound odd, it’s gonna sound lame, and it might not even sound all that appetizing but one thing I will say, you can eat the FUCK out of this dish. Sure as shit wish I had discovered this back in my high school/college days because it’s just the perfect recipe for someone who’s stoned, drunk or both.

The real “inspiration’ for this came from “geniuskitchen.com” where their recipe called for using “Jimmy Dean” breakfast sausage instead of Italian sausage and even I couldn’t stoop that fucking low.

Pizza Casserole!

Here are the ingredients and may God have mercy on your soul.

1 pound box or bag of rotini pasta

1 pound of bulk Italian sausage

1 tablespoon of olive oil.

1 medium onion chopped

4 cloves of garlic minced

2 jars of store bought pasta sauce – your choice

1/2 pound of diced cooked ham

1/2 pound of pepperoni or as much as you want

(2) 8 oz bags of shredded mozzarella – the original recipe called for THREE bags but I just couldn’t do it

Some grated fresh parmesan – there’s no fucking way I’m using the cheap shit. I’ve got standards.

1 teaspoon of dried oregano

My variation also included 1/3 cup of minced pickled jalapeno and 1 jar of sliced mushrooms and a full removal of self dignity.

Preheat your oven to 375.

Easy step #1

Start by sauteing the onions in the olive oil. Give these a good sweat for say 5-6 minutes.

Next get your sausage up in there.

Animals.

We’re gonna cook the sausage until it’s no longer pink. Also add in the oregano for this step.

Make sure that’s fully cooked sausage in there. At this point add in the minced garlic until the garlic is nice and fragrant.

Then cook the pasta.

Follow the cooking directions on the box for “al dente” pasta. Remember this is going in the oven for awhile and we don’t want mushy noodles.

At this point you have pretty much finished the challenging portion of the meal. All that remains is the assembly and the shame.

We are going to, yet again, use one of the cheap-ass disposable aluminum pans for this dish, because if any dish screams for cheap ass disposable aluminum pan this one does.

Sauce up that pan why don’tcha. Spoon in about 1/3 of one of the jars of sauce or enough to fully coat the bottom of the pan. It’s OK to pool up some of the sauce since we’re going to be adding in something like 17 pounds of other ingredients.

Please take note that the cheap ass aluminum pan is setting on a very sturdy cookie sheet for assembly and cooking.

Next we’re going to toss some of that shitty store bought sauce with the pasta.

After contemplation and further reflection I think this is the part that fucks with my head. The store bought sauce. I can’t remember the last fucking time I bought a jar of somebody else’s sauce. To make matters worse, I didn’t even research “Best Pasta Sauce” or anything. I just bought the shitty, fuckin’ Kroger brand figuring there was enough other shit going on that the sauce would be a minor player in the finished dish.

I’ll bet homemade sauce would be fucking killer here and would very much reduce the amount of self loathing. Maybe next time.

Und now Wie layer!

Put about one third of the pasta in the pan and then mix in the sausage/garlic/onion mix.

And here comes the cheese parade.

That’s the first of the 2 bags of mozzarella and also give some grates of parmesan over the top.

Now get ready for layer two. The ham odyssey.

This is another layer of pasta, about half of what is left, some more sauce and the diced ham. This is the stage in the original recipe that called for adding yet another goddamn bag of cheese and I just couldn’t do it, man! What I did instead was the “freelance” layer. Cover half of this layer with the mushrooms and the other half with the jalapeno. Having never made this dish before I was just playing jazz here and figured we could sample and determine which half we liked best.

Like so.

Now the final layer! Take the remaining pasta and place it on top, now sauce the shit out of it. The rest of the goddamn sauce.

Give it some fresh parm. For class!

Now make with the remaining mozzarella cheese and pepperoni. You know you want to pile the pepperoni all over this fucker. Go ahead. And yes, we saw you eating some of the pepperoni right out of the bag and we’re not here to judge you.

That’s your Primary Care Physician’s job.

And here we are!

What you are seeing in this picture is a line of dried basil that I used as a line of demarcation showing which side had the mushroom and which side had the jalapeno. If you look closely you can see that I indicated which half was which with a clever placement of the veggie in question on it’s indicated half.

It’s finally ready for the oven. You may want to call in someone to help you lift this into the hot oven cuz it’s a heavy fucker.

Finally, bake until molten. About 40 minutes.

Maybe some garlic bread?

Look at that photo for perspective on the size of this behemoth.

I’m trying to remember how heavy this thing was and I’m gonna say, what? Seven pounds? Maybe 8?

Yeah.

Let this big pan of shame sit for a good ten minutes before diving in head first with both hands.

Get a plate and get messy.

I mean REALLY messy!

Hey, who said every meal has to be a fuckin’ work of art? Not me dammit.

Does this have enough sodium to kill an entire herd of Bedouin shepherds and their flocks?

Yep.

Doe it have enough fat to possibly require an EKG afterwards?

It does.

Can you just grab two forks and an entire 6 pack of cold beers and set them next to your plate all at once while you go after this double-fisted style?

You can.

Is it delicious?

.

..

Of course it is.

If I was still in my 20’s I would probably make this and then feed on it for an entire week for breakfast lunch and dinner.

As it was there were 3 of us eating on this thing and we couldn’t even kill half in the first setting.

For the record both the mushroom side and the jalapeno side were equally delicious.

Remember last year when I did another casserole

and talked about feeding a big group of people?

This fucker would work for that too.

You’ll be the goddamn hero of the end of year bowling alley potluck!

I mean, who wouldn’t love this shit?

Got kids? Oh man, they are going to drive you apeshit asking you to make this over and over.

Do better than I did and maybe serve a salad alongside.

Why do I get the feeling that in the hundred plus recipes over these 5 seasons of Sunday Gravy, this recipe will be the one most of you folks try?

I don’t blame you and I won’t shame you.

I brought enough shame on my own self.

That’s gonna do it for today. I’ll be bringing you a real recipe next week I promise. In fact that recipe was yet another request and it turned out incredible.

Thank you everyone. I mean that sincerely. It’s always good of you to stop by.

Have a great rest of your weekend.

PEACE!

 

yeah right
yeah right
yeah right is a lifelong Vikings fan. Loves to cook but doesn't plate. Loves to drink but hates hangovers. Loves to read. Has no regrets.
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UnsurprisedCol. Duke LaCrossyeah rightMoose -The End Is Well NighKing Hippo Recent comment authors
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[…] Sunday Gravy with yeah right: Chef Be Not Proud. – June 30, 2019 […]

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Eating this would kill me and I’d be happy to go out hat way

rockingdog
rockingdog

damn

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Yup.

King Hippo

ummmm….yay? 😀

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog
rockingdog

Padres have a little lead…. come onnnnnnn

rockingdog
rockingdog

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

bananacakes keeper! I’m rootin’ for Team Marley now

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog
rockingdog

found a funny:
East Coasters: Marianne Williamson wow what a kook
West Coasters: A person exactly like her is my medical doctor

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

I’ve tried watching the new ones like four times….

Nope.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think the fondness for the show is there, but they are trying WAAAAY too hard. They don’t know when to shut up and the joke timing is way off. So, yeah.

King Hippo

Bases fucked with Birds, son of “Mr. Canada” up to the plate

King Hippo

Bob Marley! Van Halen song! WHO YA GOT??

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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nomonkeyfun

you and all of your very stoned 17 year old friends will never forget.

“Oooh, all of them? At once?”

-M. Fualaau nee Letourneau

Game Time Decision

I have a love hate relationship with this series. I love reading all the new stuff I should try to make. but hate that I read it while eating my boring oatmeal breakfast and it gets me thinking about what I could be eating instead

rockingdog
rockingdog

gooooo PADRES!!!!!
smoke those Red Birds!

scotchnaut

[watching the “Taken” series for the third time]

/I had no idea I was into ‘Anxiety Porn’ until just now.

Game Time Decision

For some reason those movies never really grabbed me

blaxabbath

This entire post is the Colt Season Ticket Holder Conditioning Program

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Casa de Deadly ahora (artist’s conception)

Col. Duke LaCross

It’s been a pretty terrible F1 season overall, but that was one absolute cracker of a race today. Verstappen is a total twatwaffle, but he showed some pretty incredible skill in that comeback this morning.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Indeed. And the stewards didn’t fuck it up either.

Col. Duke LaCross

They took an awful long time to come to that conclusion though. I was pretty happy for those Honda guys though. All they needed all this time was Adrian Newey to build a car for them.

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

I actually did something similar to this last night, at least I used Victoria brand sauce which is low sugar, spicy italian sausage, and frozen cheese ravioli with 2 pounds of mozzarella. I think the wife ate more than I did. So good, so unhealthy, so delicious.

ballsofsteelandfury

You hit the nail on the head when you said this is the perfect thing to bring to a potluck.

It’s too bad I can’t cook and can’t possibly contribute to the potluck. Here’s $10.

theeWeeBabySeamus

In the words of Early Cuyler, that looks “gooder than hayul”.
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is horrifying. You really should have saved this for Halloween Week.

Horatio Cornblower

Yankees-Red Sox at it again. Sox up 3-0 with one out in the 1st. The fuck is in the London air? Besides fog, of course.

/rumor is they fucked up the mound size.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[Imagines a Mounds bar that is 1.75 lbs instead of 1.75 oz]

– Kelvin Benjamin

scotchnaut

This 1940 version of Pride and Prejudice-the dialogue is so stilted and mannered that it chased me all the way over to Hitman: Agent 47 on SpaceTV.

rockingdog
rockingdog

found a funny:
henry david thoreau was the original “EVERYBODY’S always on their PHONES these days” guy

rockingdog
rockingdog

padres got the win, paddack was on, and there was a sweet sunset last night.
good times!!!

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

View from my Ziggurat.
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scotchnaut

A Coupla Thoughts-

/good call on subbing out the (fucking) breakfast sausage. What a batshit stupid ingredient to add to a pizza-centric dish.
//glad you used the real parm-after all, what would you do with the rest of the shaker? It would sit in your fridge, for years. (and still never go bad) Gross.
///contradicting the above but glad you went with store bought sauce. It’d be a waste to use the real stuff on this salt bomb. If you’re gonna slum, #slumhard!

A smaller version of this dish would be good to sit down in the middle of a kid’s table at a family get-together and just have them go at it. They’d have a riot and it would be the kind of meal they wouldn’t soon forget.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Apologizing for pizza? It’s like I don’t even know you anymore…

blaxabbath

If you look closely you can see that I indicated which half was which with a clever placement of the veggie in question on it’s indicated half.

You just couldn’t help yourself. Always gotta add that piece of style — even to a pizza casserole.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I like that I recognize who this is and thus get the joke.

blaxabbath

Out wives may share a few similar traits.

blaxabbath

Midwesterners being obese will never not be funny jokes.

Also, why does Klay Thompson get a max deal rather than a super max? I thought that was the whole point of the supermax was that the drafting team was always the biggest financial option — monetizing loyalty to the franchise and the fans. Well, Klay has been loyal.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I read that for his next contract Andy Reid will be holding out for a Superfudge deal.
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