A Slapdash Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

Apologies for the stuntedness, but real life threw up some obstacles today. Besides, with July 4th on Friday, it doesn’t appear anyone at the league is working real hard.

NFL News:

  • Kareem Hunt has gone from shoving women to shoving cops.
    • There are claims this was just something between friends that the cops got involved with, but considering he’s lost half his season due to suspension, he doesn’t have much leeway at this point.
  • Pat Bowlen’s estate will receive his Hall of Fame jacket & ring.
    • Normal Hall rules say the goods only go to living enshrinees, but since he died after being voted in, they had “started the creation process” and so he will get his goods.
    • Hero of the underprivileged Mark Davis has vowed to ensure other enshrinees families, like Ken Stabler & Junior Seau, will get their artifacts as well:

David Baker and the Hall of Fame made the right decision, and I believe it opens the door to reconsidering awarding rings and jackets to the families of all deceased enshrinees. It opens the door to making it right for other families, like Junior Seau’s and Kenny Stabler’s.


Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB:
    • Red Sox at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Yankees at Mets – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
    • D-backs at Dodgers – 10:00PM | Sportsnet360 / MLBN
  • Fútbol:
    • Copa América Brasil 2019:
      • Chile vs. Perú – 8:00PM | TELMUN / TSN3
    • CONCACAF Gold Cup Soccer 2019:
      • Jamaica vs. U.S. – 9:30PM | FS1 / UNI / TSN

Part of the hassle is that I caught a rock in the windshield yesterday while driving to sell beer. A $300 expense made worse by only making $20 in tips. Not a great business model.

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Brick MeathookDolph UckerMoose -The End Is Well NighALXMACtheeWeeBabySeamus Recent comment authors
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ALXMAC
ALXMAC

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

theeWeeBabySeamus

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

yeah right

Well hello there everyone!

How are you this pseudo-quasi-kinda-halfass-mini Friday night?

I am higher than Major Matt Mason.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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I sure as hell hope everybody has their meat.

yeah right

Oh yeah.

Got my meat.

Good to see you Brother Moose.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I did! We had sirloin steaks tonight; cooked on the grill. I have consistently found sirloin to be an easier cut to cook properly than all others. The flavor is never going to beat a perfectly done filet or ribeye, but it’s much easier to get right.

yeah right

And conducive to a tasty dinner. Very accepting of flavor.
Makes a killer pan sauce.

yeah right

Diatribe:

Your standard overly produced production protein, I.E beef, pork, chicken has been so thoroughly homogenized both for safety and sales reasons that your average fresh steak has less flavor than a slice of Oscar Meyer Bologna.

We got so goddamn scared by food safety that we forgot that the British used to “dry age” their beef for months.

They hung their game foul for weeks.
Weeks!

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I think the trip-tip is the most fool-proof cut to cook. Just season it (and there’s a ton of ways to do this) and put it under the broiler for 25 minutes, fatty side up first, turn at 13 minutes, remove and let sit wrapped in foil for 10 minutes. Slice cross-grain; you have rare at one end and medium-well at the other. Is a trip-tip a roast? I say no!

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I cook a mean rib-eye and New York steak, stove-top in a cast iron skillet then finished in the oven. Timing is everything though, depending on thickness.

yeah right

This Guy.

Cooks!

Fronkenshteen

USMNT needs a Nicky Butt to protect Pulisic. Kid is the real fucking deal.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

I’ve spent a lot of time this week off clearing heavy brush off our property, (OK, maybe some of it is the technically the neighbors’ property), and painting the house and it’s been hot and humid the whole time, (for CT), so I’m currently on my second one of these and dear Lord I can already feel them.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

That’s not what it says at all. You’re drunker than I am!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That may be true. But you did trim some bush.

Horatio Cornblower

Touche’

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ah yes, Tree House Brewing Company. The only brewer whose products Elisha has ever expressed any interest in trying.

/unless there’s a Hogwarts Brewing Company. There isn’t, is there?

herodotus450
herodotus450

Just found out Tchaikovsky, composer of the 1812 Overture, wasn’t even born until the 1840s. What a sneaky little bastard.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

herodotus450
herodotus450

It says Monty Python, but that can’t be right because there’s a woman in the scene who isn’t a man in drag.

Dolph Ucker
Dolph Ucker

Carol Cleveland. The rose among thorns.
/Sorry. Late to the party.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

She was in most of the TV episodes and all of the movies and stage shows.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Well, after being a staunch defender, I am officially ready for the Padres to fire Andy Green as Manager.

So how are you all doing tonight?

King Hippo

us Commentists would make fine managerial replacements

herodotus450
herodotus450

Hookers AFTER the game, blow BEFORE the game. Is better for energy levels that way.

litre_cola

I find your ideas intriguing and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

Horatio Cornblower

The man, (I assume; I don’t judge), kept the Padres relevant until at least 7/3. You should be melting cannon to pour into molds to build statues of him on every intersection in San Diego.

King Hippo

so…all we have is Afrikan Euros until the Prem starts back. BLECH

litre_cola

What about hot Latvian action?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I really like this dog. I hope her owners don’t want her back.
Or are dead.

theeWeeBabySeamus

She likes french fries as much as cheeseburgers.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

GOOOD DOG!

Horatio Cornblower

I will drive down tomorrow and get her. Her owners can go fuck themselves.

litre_cola

I think she is Canadian, how did Lucy get that far away. Come back north girl.

ballsofsteelandfury

¡Qué partido del portero Peruano!

ballsofsteelandfury

CHEEKY PENALTY KICK SAVE!

ballsofsteelandfury

This is a hell of a game by Perú! Wow!

King Hippo

what a way for Chile’s “golden generation” to leave the stage. YIKES

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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theeWeeBabySeamus

So I have a new dog. She was lying in the middle of the road, dehydrated and seemingly starved. But she jumped her ass into the truck and and ate the hell out of some cheeseburgers. I called the number on her tags, but so far no response.

I can trace the address from the rabies tag and license, but not until friday. So for now I have a new friend I guess unless the owners call me back.

She’s very sweet. Shit I have to go buy dog food tomorrow I guess. Or maybe just buy more cheeseburgers.

King Hippo

I am happy not to read “peanut butter”

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL

herodotus450
herodotus450
King Hippo

the South American Euros have been turned off. An hour to kill before #BFIB lose to the goddamned Dirt SeaTruthers again.

King Hippo

The only joy I have left are those stretches when Bastard Man Small Bears suck out loud.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I’m considering doing Zipcar since I don’t have a car anymore, hate Lyft when I rarely use it, and can’t ride a bike.

King Hippo

They say one never forgets, but I rode my bike like a fiend from age 5 through 15, all over Charlotte. I tried again as an adult (around 35) and I couldn’t make it 10 feet on flat ground.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I need to learn before I turn 40

King Hippo

learning in one’s 30s (much like skiing) would make a damned fine accomplishment. Plus I didn’t think they allowed you in Portland if you didn’t bike?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I got a waiver

BugEyedBoo
BugEyedBoo

If you want to learn to ride a bike, do it this way: make the seat low enough that you can get pretty flatfooted on the ground, take off the pedals, and just push yourself around with your feet fast enough that you can coast for a little bit. Eventually you’ll be coasting as much as you want. Then put the pedals back on. Viola, you’re riding a bike.

If you have to teach a kid, that way is a lot better than chasing a bicycle and holding the seat. Unless you like yelling at your kid while running yourself into a heart attack.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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SonOfSpam

Not sure what to make fun of first.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Start with me never learning to ride a bike. Then being too cheap to use Lyft like everyone else does.

King Hippo

FUN HIPPO FACT – I have never ordered an Uber or a Lyft. I don’t even have the apps on my phone. Once every 2-3 years, I will get a cab (and the cabbies bitch holy hell about Uber and Lyft).

SonOfSpam

Was gonna go with your Portland address, but you’re the boss.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

You’re goddamn right

King Hippo

gee, Brasil kicking the tar shit outta Peru (5-nil) was so much fun last time, we get to do it again!

/no worries, it conflicted with #BFIB anyway

rockingdog
rockingdog

yikes Padres are hot and cold.
get some good wins against Cardinals then get stomped by Giants.
whatever its a long season…

King Hippo

FOAR WCS:

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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King Hippo

Ted Bundy was, without a doubt, the most interesting serial killer

scotchnaut

[glances at time]

It’s 8:44 EST! I should have been in bed at least an hour ago! I thought you guys had my back!

[tries to devise a revenge plan against all on-line enemies, falls asleep clutching three separate pillows]

Oh baby, you’re so soft… What are you doing tomorrow?

King Hippo

how do people ever fall asleep without clutching a bunch of pillows??

SonOfSpam

Beer and jerking off?

King Hippo

funny thing, after 45, beer both makes me want to pass out AND have terrible insomnia

SonOfSpam

Yeah, that’s the hell of it.

King Hippo

swear to fuck, if I knew then what I know now, I’d have killed myself on my 35th birthday

SonOfSpam

You’re gonna DIG fifty. Just like 40, but with anal photography.

King Hippo

YAY!!! Y’all know what I think of butt stuff.

litre_cola

Weed, wine and self love works too. Ya gotta romance ureself sometimes.

SonOfSpam

You deserve it!

King Hippo

there also comes a time when it gets harder and harder to find a good lesbian video clip you ain’t seen 5 times already

herodotus450
herodotus450

Sometimes you just gotta ignore the haters and actually pay for it.

King Hippo

I could see full length/library girlsway being worth it. They always tell a nice story.

herodotus450
herodotus450

three separate pillows

If you don’t make that 13 pillows by tomorrow you’re gonna have a hard time.

King Hippo

both sides actually trying to make a soccer point, sommet we ain’t seen often at these South American Euros

SonOfSpam

Hi, and welcome to My Four Day Weekend, sponsored by (looks at label) Hangar 24 for now.

SonOfSpam

And Trout just hit a 3 run dong, because my god is an awesome god. (My god is Cthulhu)

rockingdog
rockingdog

found a funny:
The movie “Yesterday” but Meghan McCain wakes up and no one remembers who her dad is.

King Hippo

even worse, the doughnut box is EMPTY

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That is actually really fucking funny.

King Hippo

LET’S GO CHILE

SonOfSpam

– TBoz and LeftEye, waiting on the tour bus

Wakezilla

RIP Jared Lorenzen

herodotus450
herodotus450

Bad news for all us fatties; burying Lorenzen is likely to increase the mass of the Earth enough to increase its gravitational pull, thereby making all of us fatter.

SonOfSpam

HAD NOT CONSIDERED THAT.

scotchnaut

What with Jared Lorenzen passing away, the Keebler Elves need not worry about being pelted with wads of dough by “The Pillsbury Throwboy” ever again.

SonOfSpam

Rest
In
Piano case

Wakezilla

“only making $20 in tips.”

Damn, Beerguy, was it raining?

herodotus450
herodotus450

$ is the symbol for one a them Canadian metric measurments,right? So I figure he got 20 commie-meters worth of tips.
/Tips of penis.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Well that’s what happens when LeSean McCoy and his entourage take over your section and he orders $2000 worth of beer.

herodotus450
herodotus450

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WCS

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SonOfSpam

Does Canadia car insurance not cover windshield repair?

(Also July 4th is on Thursday, not Friday, but your first paragraph may just be drunk already)

litre_cola

So many rock chips that it does not unless you pay. Most of us drive around with a shit tonne of them as if we get in an accident we ain’t pay at hospital!

ballsofsteelandfury

Chile-Peru should hopefully be better than Uruguay-Peru.

King Hippo

I dunno, U R Guay losing by Suarez being the only penno flubber was pretty awesome.