Your “You Get The Horns” Thursday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Melvin Gordon has told the Chargers he’s not showing up to camp without a new contract.
    • In a “pay me or trade me” scenario, he’s saying that he wants to be paid what he deserves, or wants to be traded to a team that will pay him what he deserves.
    • According to ESPN, Gordon, is scheduled to be heading into the last year of his contract, a fifth-year option worth $5.6 million.
      • It is believed he wants Todd Gurley money, and given his stats mirror LaDanian Tomlinson’s at this stage he feels justified in his demands.
  • Well, this was kind of expected: Kendrick Norton has been cited “at fault” in the crash that cost his his left arm.
    • Norton was cited with improper lane change, due to him pulling in front of another vehicle and making contact with it before crashing into a concrete barrier, according to a copy of the crash report obtained by ESPN.
      • He apparently was about to miss an offramp & cut across two lanes to try & make it. He clipped the other car and then crashed into the concrete barrier.
  • Richard Seymour’s run at the World Series of Poker has ended.
    • He finished in 131st place, and left with a cheque for $59, 295 for his efforts.
      • It’s the second biggest payday of his career, and leaves him with career winnings of just over $638,000.
    • Maybe he’d still be playing if we hadn’t noticed he was still playing.

Finally, Josh Norman is having a better summer than you & me.

He ran with the bulls in Pamplona. As you can see in this clip I borrowed from Deadspin, he made it with ease, unlike the five people who have been gored so far during this year’s Festival of San Fermin. He even raptures about it on Twitter.

And before you ask, yes – the PETA people are commenting in droves.

When I see people running with the bulls & living (or just not getting gored), it always reminds me of that Norm MacDonald bit about Steve Irwin.


I just want to remind everyone that the ICC Cricket World Cup will be taking place this Sunday, starting at 5:00AM ET at Lords. Hosts England will be taking on New Zealand. Both reached the final after upsets in their semi-finals matches against Australia & India respectively.

England’s victory over Australia was a particular type of arse kicking, as they not only hobbled Australia’s batsmen, getting three wickets before seven overs were completed. In the end, England beat Australia’s 223 (49) in just 32 overs, leaving 18 spare & Australia going home in shame unable to defend their 2015 victory.

I would contemplate an Open Thread, but that’s just too damn early even for Lesser Footy, let alone Lesser Baseball.


Tonight’s sports:

  • CFL:
    • Eskimos at Lions – 10:00PM | TSN / ESPN+
  • MLB:
    • Astros at Rangers – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
  • NBA Summer League Basketball:
    • Washington Wizards vs. Atlanta Hawks – 6:30PM | ESPN2
    • Houston Rockets vs. Utah Jazz – 8:30PM | ESPNU
    • Memphis Grizzlies vs. Boston Celtics – 10:30PM | ESPN2
  • Professional Fighters League:
    • From Atlantic City, N.J. – 8:30PM | ESPN2 / TSN5

That’s it for me. Seamus has you tomorrow night – hopefully it’s teh “Sexy Women of Orangeman’s Day”. See you this weekend.

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

blaxabbath

My brother sent me a Mike Gravel fundraising email (I hope as a joke). They call their efforts….

……

….

The Gravelanche

See, this is one more reason I hate trump. He’s even ruined political entertainment. The Gravelanche won’t even get a mention in this media coverage today. I hope DFO finds something to do with the Gravelanche

blaxabbath

I feel like norm is one of the best at being too soon but then very much backing it up.

yeah right

I got an email that said I could buy advanced seats for Slayer’s last show at The Forum starting today at 10:00 AM.
Logged on and I was 2000+ in line.

Still got to hand select my single favorite seats, center stage to see Anselmo, Primus, Ministry and Slayer.

FUCK YES!!!

yeah right

I bought the tickets to see Ministry.

Again.

blackroseMD1

I’m jealous. I was planning on heading up to see that, but I have a work event that day. I hear that Anselmo’s band will be doing Pantera songs.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I love when yeah right posts this song.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Anybody else less than 4 episodes into Stranger Things or are we the only ones behind on this season?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I’m at episode zero this season. Going to catch up this weekend.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So far, so good

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I too am at episode zero. I can’t seem to get motivated to get started.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My favorite guitar solo ever.

Don T

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Don T

In a dating-app bio, never put “trans-single”.

ballsofsteelandfury

I don’t even know what that could possibly mean.

Don T

A single man trapped in the body of divorce court.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Yeah, leaving off the single part really helps.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sup

yeah right

Howdy BFC

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh dear. I fear it might be one of those nights.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

No one tell Seamus.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Betty on Riverdale got herself taken down to the infirmary, and I realized that there is never a bad time to listen to this song.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Okay, this was over too fast (that’s what she said). I’m kinda mad that there’s not a twenty minute live version of this available.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

FREE THE RHINOS!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

h

ttps://3.bp.blogspot.com/-M6tisB-F__8/WA-1sgut6WI/AAAAAAAA6bQ/RmaNmYAHaKYsFRc_eG-I_rt3004bB-jQQCLcB/s1600/boobies.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BC Dick

I’ve had enough of condescending bodies of water. Get over yourself, Lake Superior.

herodotus450
herodotus450

I’m Huron what you’re saying.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Lake Michigan is judging you.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Is the Indian Ocean racist?
Hmmmmm…….

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Tech support? No.

theeWeeBabySeamus

“Microsoft” called me again today.
I love fucking with those guys.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I was being racist at the 7-11.

SonOfSpam

Thought the same thing. How Erie.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, that was good.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Is there any more transparent lie a man can tell than “I could have shagged that bird, but I decided not to because XXX…”?

Redshirt

In my mindcanon, Trump caving in on the Citizenship question was a lot like Kelso using Turk’s likeness on “Scrubs”.

Trump: “I can defy the Supreme Court with an Executive Order. I’m the President!”
Attorney General: “Of course, you are in that right. Although, defying an opinion of the Supreme Court may leave you vulnerable from an Impeachment perspective.”
Trump: “How vulnerable?”
Attorney General: “Sir, I recommend you pack before you make the order, because that Impeachment Trail will be over so fast, Pence will be moving in by the evening.”

In no way did this happen, but a man can dream.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Just seeing the word Mindcanon gives me a ptsd flashback to the psychic wars

WCS

AFTER 13 YEARS NEW TOOL ALBUM IN AUGUST! WOOOOO!

SonOfSpam

Hopefully some uplifting videos too!
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litre_cola

Took acid and watched all the Tool videos on repeat. That was a wild ride.

SonOfSpam

I’ve never acided or mushroomed, but Tool videos seem like Advanced Tripping.

herodotus450
herodotus450

If I don’t pass Advanced Tripping this semester I’ll never get to take Intro to Illin

blackroseMD1

I haven’t done acid in 20 years, but this is absolutely what I’d do if I happened to find myself with some these days.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m pissed off at the Avetts. Though it’s probably not their direct fault.

Today I got a “pre-purchase” notification from Ticketmaster for this year’s New Years Eve concert. I’ve seen them on New Years Eve several times. I know two of them personally. But I get an email from Ticketmaster for pre-purchase. Which wtf does that even mean? If I’m giving you my cc numbers, it ain’t PRE-purchase.

Meh fuck it I think. Just buy the tickets. And when I try to buy them, it won’t let me. They tell me I need the code from my email.

THERE IS NO CODE IN THAT EMAIL. Seriously, I looked at least five times. There is no code.

So I call. They pretty much told me to fuck off until the general sale starts.

Nice.

SonOfSpam

They are doing some dates as we speak with Lake Street Dive as openers.

Has nothing to do with your story, but here we are.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Lake Street Dive is what plays in all the elevators in Hell.

SonOfSpam

You, sir, are out of line. Pistols at dawn.
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Where, at the Renaissance Faire? Because that’s where Lake Street Dive is playing.

SonOfSpam

Didn’t have pistols during the Renaissance. Your anachronistic sensibilities are similar to the President’s and your musical opinions are therefore invalid.

Go fly a MAX8 or something.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Renaissance Faires are anachronistic by definition. I’m not trying to get into a pissing contest here; I’m just saying that Lake Street Dive sucks, that’s all.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

RE; “Didn’t have pistols during the Renaissance. “

I was ruining his joke.

SonOfSpam

Both of you are awful and have been placed on my enemas list.

Yeah, I know what I typed.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’m sure you will….

back that up.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Hey but I was drunk! I warned you all earlier in the thread!

BC Dick

Ohh I like them. She’s gorgeous and that voice could make hell seem like florida

SonOfSpam

See? Dick gets it!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

If Dick likes it, if Dick rocks, more power to them.

BC Dick

Dick likes. Dick rocks. Dick throbs.

Redshirt

(removes keg from soapbox, steps on soapbox)

https://www.cincinnati.com/story/news/2019/07/02/cincinnati-pride-festival-genderqueer-lesbian-denied-metro-bus-ride/1629673001/

So today on the Local Talk Radio, they talked about how a “genderqueer lesbian” was denied access to the bus because they had an open shirt and duct tape covering their nipples and kids were on the bus. Cincy Metro apologized.

The host talked about how he went to two Chicago LGBTQ Pride Parades, and he didn’t like it because he saw people dressed like this and in thongs and ass-less chaps dancing and gyrating. He didn’t like it because he didn’t think it help advanced their argument that they should be accepted and it may be better to have floats of normal people just like us that just happen to be Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Transexual/Queer/other.

He and a caller, who was a homosexual female, questioned how the rider could be a genderqueer lesbian, if “genderqueer” means they don’t identity with a gender and “lesbian” means homosexual female. Then the conversation shifted to if “they” (their words, not mine) wanted “extra privileges” and be treated the same as heterosexuals or (checks notes) cisgenders (ed: hope I’m using that right) or “special privileges” and be treated differently because they are different.

Then before the break ended, the host mentioned how some white Democrats are being over backwards to get these support and he suggested that when they are supporting them, they doing it to show they are a “superior moral values” like “I believe this and you don’t, so I’m better than you.”

What am I saying or trying to suggest? Absolutely nothing. I just figured with the current state of the Republican Party, it would be refreshing to hear a few Conservative viewpoints that aren’t coming from hatred and bigotry or trying to demonize people.

herodotus450
herodotus450

The solution is obvious: every gay or lesbian or genderqueefer or whatever just has to say “god told me to do it, I saw him in a vision.” Checkmate Republicans.

SonOfSpam

I lol’d at “genderqueefer” and would like a specific definition please.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Uhh, it’s someone who changes their gender every time they queef.

Redshirt

You’re joking, but that’s not far from the truth. When someone says “I prayed on it” and they mean it, its hard to question it, becuase then you’re questioning God.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No, it’s not hard to question it.

SonOfSpam

Yes. Unfortunately, they don’t really have good actual ideas, so it’s all about fear of the Other.

This can include Browns, Gays, Womyn, Libruls, Different Browns, etc.

If you wanna practice good traditional conservative values (especially fiscally), be a Democrat.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Straight, queer, whatever…. just quit overacting in porn videos! BE BELIEVABLE GOD DAMN IT.

SonOfSpam

Yeah, I didn’t really BELIEVE the Two Girls One Cup video. I was barely able to finish twice.

BC Dick

This is the reason many people are turned off by that side of the coin. Pandering to this ridiculously specific identity politicking and moral posturing is what offends me as a mild libertarian and in my opinion it destroys their entire claim to want equality when they refuse to give any voice to disagreements, ie. the pride groups and those like the trans activists who complained the city of Vancouver into removing funding for a women’s rape crisis centre because they didn’t accept trans women. Removing others rights doesn’t ever advance a cause.

BC Dick

That should be eg. I think. Is my face ever red.

BC Dick

I done said the same thing twice.

ThurberHerder
ThurberHerder

Gender politics aside, there should be a line about how much skin is allowed to contact the seat in public transportation. Can’t sit in chaps or a thong unless you bring a towel.

ThurberHerder
ThurberHerder

There’s my “conservative” viwepoint

SonOfSpam

Hey hey. Gonna be over 90 where I live the next 5 or 6 days. Stay hydrated.

By which I mean, call your wife and have her pick up beer on the way home.

Here at DFO, we care.

Redshirt

I’m drinking so much water, I’m practially living in the bathroom.

SonOfSpam

Would imagine you get some kind of humidity that we don’t. Keep the beverages flowing.

Redshirt

I work in a factory. In the afternoon, you can feel the humidity in the air so much, you can almost swim in it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Okay, we’re watching Love Island again. This kind of feels like watching El Ministerio del Tiempo, in that they are speaking a different language and I only understand about 50% of the words they are saying.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fewer boobies, though.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Boys, I am really hammered. I made a final delivery (of VFX shots) this morning. I worked on this in my home studio, and by the end I was up all night and sleeping all day.

blackroseMD1

I get that Melvin wants to get paid, but if he thinks his stats mirror LaDainian’s 5 years in, he’s woefully misinformed. He’s had one 1000 yard season and eight 100 yard rushing games in his first four seasons (in which he’s missed games in all but one season).

Gordon’s stats:comment image

Meanwhile, Tomlinson did this:comment image

I’m not against the Chargers giving Gordon a new contract, but if he wants Gurley money, then they’re better off trading him so that they can resign Rivers, Bosa, Henry etc. next offseason.

King Hippo

One could also point to Gurley’s current status as a cautionary tale. I bet he never is anything close to himself ever again (quality or durability).

In my keeper league, I didn’t even designate him as one of my “match bids at auction” dudes.

blackroseMD1

Absolutely, and I’m betting that the Chargers are considering that as well.

Redshirt

You can’t really compare anyone to early 00s Tomlinson because that’s like 90s Barry Sanders, you don’t know how he got those inhuman numbers, all you know is he did it because they have proof he did it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

With regards to the banner image, I want to give major props to Riverdale for doing an episode of their parents in high school and getting Anthony Michael Hall to play the principal.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

If you only knew where the post-production of Riverdale is done . . . you can get the clap watching that show, and not the good clap either.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They do the post-production of Riverdale in your living room?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Burbank, just north of Glendale! Beware!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s practically walking distance!

ballsofsteelandfury

I think we definitely need an Open Thread for the cricket final!

herodotus450
herodotus450

(crickets)

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

It can be called: “The Open Thread For Lame Sports!” Ha Ha Ha Ha (falls off stool, unconscious)

Redshirt

(looks around, take wallet from back pocket, walks away)

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I think this photo truly represents the spirit of DFO and Amero-Canadiesque relations in general.

Folks, let’s give peace a chance.

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herodotus450
herodotus450

“Don’t you mean ‘Foulks’?”
(smashes “Nuke’m” button)

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Melvin Gordon has told the Chargers he’s not showing up to camp without a new contract.

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With their patented Spanoi negotiating skills, he’ll end up getting shipped to the Raiders for a second rounder.