A lot to unpack there! First, hey Fox: fuck you for the misspelling. I’m gonna speculate that the graphics guy was an older feller who thought “Sounds like Torretta, Ruthless Posse WOOO”, and didn’t name check out of self-satisfaction (“I can’t be racist, I know Italians!”).

Too much? Listen, you misspell the third guy on any list, you deserve much hackier ribbing. It’s a damn embarrassment. Like quarterback record! Total bullshit stat. Joe Montana is 8^th. 9^th place? Eli Manning. Next topic.

The graphic shows Mariota starting 10+ games against winning teams since 2015. Isn’t he supposed to be brittle? Well, actually…

[crosses leg, sips snifter of Sambuca and Yoo Hoo]

Marcus Ardel Taulauniu Mariota has started at least 12 games since his rookie year in 2015, in which the right side of the OL was awarded All-Hologram honors. I don’t care how you define “unreliable”, but 3/4 or more of a season, every season, is pretty dependable for a quote-unquote injury prone QB. And oh what a brittle guy. In 2016, Mariota had his best season until Jax injured him on Week 17, the first leg of the Christmas Eve Fibula Massacre, the second being Derek Carr’s against the Clots.

In Week 1 last year, Mariota suffered nerve damage to his throwing hand that left him without feeling in three fingers for several weeks. He still started 13 games and played in another, while suffering these injuries (via paulkuharsky.com / usatoday.com):

• He suffered a neck stinger against the Colts in Week 11 and re-injured it in Week 16 against the [*Redacted] s. That second instance was why he couldn’t play in Week 17.
• He sustained a cracked vertebra.
• His plantar fascia had a significant tear during the season, which escalated into a full tear in Week 16.
• He had a strained oblique.
• He suffered a broken rib
• And finally, he dealt with a sprained AC shoulder joint.

Upon reading the list, the guy from the Operation board game muttered “Harsh”, and added “BRAAAAAAAAAP!”.

Re, Paul Kuharsky, the source to the bullet points by USA Today: Kuharsky covered the Titans for ESPN, was fired in 2017, and started his own Tits beat paysite. Total dignity move. He asks real questions, is not an optimist, has a short fuse, and holds grudges like a grandpa whose pension was slashed a year ago. Amazing: only in the Titans media ghetto can you find a PK who is an actual reporter. Interesting Fact: USA Today sourced PK’s article but misspelled PK’s website link and therefore his name. (Maybe the grudges go both ways?) Mad respect for PK. His site is the only subscription one to whose registry form I’ve clicked on and did not fill out with invective. Maybe someday I’ll reach the “Enter your credit card information” part.

This year’s roster is pretty OK. RB Derrick Henry has been held off during the preseason but he’s still the top guy. The hope is that El Tractorcito performs closer to the scorching streak in which he ended last season, instead of the FF poison he was for most of 2018. It’s not a stretch, given that the OL added mauler RG Roger Saffold from RAMMMIT! Please, Jeebus, inspire TEN to run this play at least 15 times a game

Via the awesome @RPOBenjamin

Dion Lewis returns as the backup RB, in the drive-opponents-insane Kevin Faulk role of getting first downs outta NOTHING. The WR group was improved with Adam Humphries from the Bucs, a sure-handed receiver whose contract was derided as an overpayment. The rest is OK. Corey Davis is WR1. His stats have yet to reflect his talent. Tajae Sharpe did not play much of last year because of injury, and he’s, um, workmanlike. And when Corey Davis was drafted, a guy in a bar taunted Sharpe about it and Tajae punched him (respect). Taywan Taylor is a speedy receiver, but his hands can be charitably described as Roberto Durán-esque. (Yes I’ve been making that same joke every year.) TE Delanie Walker is back after suffering a season-ending injury on Week 1 last year. Yes, he’s 35, but doesn’t have a lot of mileage. Jonnu Smith and Hahvahd grad Anthony Firkser (19 catches on 20 targets in 2018) are the backups.

On defense, TEN signed ageless wonder Cameron Wake to fortify a prettay, prettay good front seven that includes still overlooked beast Jurrell Casey and DaQuan Jones on the line. Rookie first-round pick Jeffery Simmons is on injured reserve after an ACL operation this February, but could return later in the year. The LBs are a solid: breakout (but still unknown) Jayon Brown, second year guys Harold Landry and Rashaan Evans, aging but studly Wesley Woodyard, and Kamalei Correa—an itinerant sub who stood out in every down he played. On paper, the secondary looks excellent. If they do on the field, and a Tits game is flexed, the national media may condescend to give them a nickname. TEN made Kevin Byard the highest paid safety in the league, Kenny Vaccaro is at FS, and CBs Logan Ryan, Adoree’ Jackson, and Malcolm Butler are a group anyone can live with. Should be noted that most opposing QBs made their living by picking on Butler the first half of season, but he improved in the last months. Sub Tye Smith played great late last season, and Dane Cruikshank has been great on special teams.

2018 Week 2: Owner Amy Adams congratulates Cruikshank for his 66-yard fake punt TD against Houston (via inverse.com).

There’s really not much that worries me about this team. Brett Kern is easily a top-three punter. Ryan Succubus [damn you autotext!] Succop is a solid kicker. Vrabel is a fine head coach who playcalls to win and the players seem loyal to him. DC Dean Pees had a mild Kubiak last year, but is in great health. Per tradition, TEN has a new OC, Arthur Smith. The good thing is that Smith has been with the team forever.

What worries me is the Taylor Lewan suspension. Coupla things: he got suspended 4 games for PED. Lewan says he took it unwillingly and passed a polygraph about it. He was upfront about the suspension, which is fine, and is an OK guy and character. He started a podcast and had Jalen Ramsey on. Oh, it was great. They were dishing about trash talking and Lewan said he rattled a Jags lineman by saying to him “I’m gonna suck your dick”, with C Ben Jones adding “Here in Tennessee we swallow”–astonishing solidarity and commitment to a bit.

For this year, TEN has only one national game: the Week 3 TNF superclásico against the Jaguars. Whatever fuckos. The schedule is manageable, if unreadable and busy:

via here

That Texans-Saints-Texans Sandwich at the end could be tricky, but getting the Pauls on OBJ’s first game with the team may be an edge. Starting at 2-2, with only one home game, would be fine.

But everything is about the quarterback. It’s Mariota’s last year of his rookie contract and no extension is in the works. GM Jon Robinson got the job after Mariota, and has been a cold evaluator. There’s been venomous noise about Robinson passing on Mariota already, back when he was the Bucs GM and drafted Jameis Winston. And the Ryan Tannehill signing made the Anti-Marcus wags come out in full force with “Bust”, “Underwhelming”, “Start Tannehill” other narrashits that bypass Mariota being a ruthless competitor. 

In 2017 he willed the Titans into a playoff spot with this

https://tenor.com/view/mariota-stiff-arm-sweet-feet-gif-10664085

Letterboxed for your pleasure.  Via tenor.com

Then TEN came back in the Divisional playoffs at sub-zero KC, with Mariota scoring a reception TD after his red-zone pass was tipped by the player wearing Darrelle Revis’s jersey. At the time, here in P.R. I was into my fourth month without electricity due to hurricane reasons, and this was the power source:

Another storm is coming today in a coupla hours and I had to take out the pic to see how the hell that inverter and batteries are supposed to be put together. But it’s not the battery acid on my hands right now that burns me, but the mere existence of a conversation about Mariota’s future with TEN–a guy they’ve given shoddy talent and a new OC every year. Look: Marcus Mariota is a gifted athlete, studious, very professional, hard worker, plays hurt, never complains or blame others, looks uncannily like my dad, and is an obviously decent person. What more do you want from a goddamned franchise guy?

The World: Better red zone execution, more trust to throw 50 / 50 balls to his receivers, play more conservatively to avoid inj–

Yeah, let’s stop right there. In the second preseason game this year, Mariota somersaulted over a guy on a busted play for a 2 point conversion. It’s amazing, to me, his abandon playing a game that has crippled him consistently. He is a leader.