There were some fool-adjacent blowhards last week (me) that yakked from their gum disease-riddled mouths to the top of their phlegm-soaked lungs that last week’s game was going to be a stinker. So now I think we might be in line for another better than average tilt. Hey!, maybe I’ll type about it below! First though we just must make mention of newsy football stuff.

-In I Told You So News, Saquon isn’t human and will be back well before the 6-8 week outlook. Reports are sort of a good/bad thingy though. He’s running around the practice field already but he’s also cutting. You don’t like to see that kind of self-harming-he does enough of that just playing football. Seems a bit much.

-We’ve seen this before-“The Patriots and Nugent Reach an Agreement”. Both circumstances involve the destruction of all “non-patriots” [elbows you in the ribs] if you know what I mean.

-Stefon (having just returned from his night out at Les Miserables, the club that [breaks character]) Diggs ain’t happy. His targets early last year were in the 8-9 range and this year he’s down around 4. Too Many Cook is the problem. Well that, and the Vikings passing game is a joke wrapped inside a buffoonery encompassed by a jape which is making regular orbital passes around a monkeyshine. This on the heels of Thielen doing some barking about Cousins.

TO THE GAME!

Rams/Seahawks:

Completely competent L.A. cb’s Peterson and Talib were torchified last week to the tune of 50+ points. How’d this happen? PFF tells me that Winston focused on the long ball and this is reflected in his Average Depth Of Target being a very healthy 9.4. Ciara Wilson’s husband’s ADOT so far this year? 9.6. As she said before the marriage, “Balls Away!”.

I talked about it last time and I’ll bring it up again-being that it’s a Darren Sproles-type week, (meaning short) maybe fade Gurleycake? Malcolm Brown might be the play here. And if Chris Carson happens to fumble yet again, maybe Rashaad Penney is your guy.

Have at it, funboys!