T’aint fair! The NFL giveth with the one hand and taketh away with the other. AS ALWAYS! Hey, as long as I’m shouting… TO THE GAMES!
Cards/Bills:
Not a lot to like here. I’d just like to add-poor Joe Mixon. Poor, poor Joe Mixon.
Bills/Titans:
The hits keep coming. What’s the over/under here-14.5? Matt Barkley is not an NFL qb by any means and there are rumblings the Tennessee head office feels the same about Mariota. The end result? A run-heavy Gore (maybe Singletary?) and Henry grinder. Fade to black Corey Davis. And while you’re at it do the same to te Delanie-the Bills have given up 76 yards all season to the position.
Bears/Raiders:
There are plenty of kudos out there for te Waller but the fella is looked at between the 20’s and not at all in the end zone. This is not an exaggeration-he doesn’t have a single look yet.
Bucs/Saints:
Tampa has a good overall D but defending the slot is an on-going problem. Since the beginning of last year they’ve given up the second-most yards, completions and TD’s. Guess who grades out as the best slot receiver over the last three years? Yeah, that’d be one Michael Thomas. Shaquil Barrett and his nine sacks has an interesting matchup vs. tackles Armstead and Ramczyk, who have not given up a sack yet.
Vikes/Gmen:
Minny just barely avoids the dreaded Saquon-sanity showdown. This one is a real, actual test for Danny Ten Cent, given the pressure up front and cb Howard’s tendency to take players out of the game. (though he did get burned last week or the week before, I don’t remember and I’m running out of time)
Jets/Eagles:
Philly is completely exploitable at the wr spot and Anderson/Crowder are above average, but then one must add Luke Falk into the equation and just like that it all falls apart.
Rams/Steelers:
As I said, I’m running out of time. This should have been up two hours ago.
Pats/Potato Skins:
Another walk in the park W for New England is on the sked. Qu’elle surprise! Washington’s point total has gone souther and souther-from 27 to 21 to 15 to 3. I’ve a notion what the next number up is.
Jags/Panthers:
Bettors have no doubt noticed that Minshew is 3-0 vs. the spread but he now faces the only D that allows less than 200 yards thru the air. This is not the week to go Full Mustache Ride.
Falcons/Texans:
Lingering memories from last year tell me that Houston has an above-average D but when you actually peruse the numbers they’re in the 24-ish range. Same but the t’udder way with the Falcons-they’re knocking on top 10 status.
There she be. Why don’t you catch some Other Football while you wait for the games to commence?
Will the Raiders go with the Waterboy defense and just have Carr take a knee three times so the Bears defense can’t score and get back into this game?
What could the Bengals get for Dalton? Or is he just gonna be a career backup once CIN looks to drafting a QB in the qst?
It’s like he stepped out of a time machine from 1994.
They’ll probably get a 3rd or a 4th. If he can be surrounded by talent, he’s manageable.
The big question if they’re blow it up and trade Green and Atkins. They do that, they suddenly have several 1st and 2nd picks next draft.
Starting Colt McCoy. Pretty sure Fatty Gruden is TRYING to get fired.
from Between Two Ferns GIFs via Gfycat
I played OJ Howard because deep down I’m stupid and want to lose.
I played OJ Howard because I don’t have any other TE and they all pretty much suck
What’s the deal with these weird auction sites like deal dash who have commercials like, “I got this iPad for $24!”? Like, where do they make their money — because you know these advertised deals do not exist.
IIRC, both the winner and the second-place guy pay, even though only the winner gets the item. That frequently drives the price way up since no one want to be second
Basically this: https://www.investopedia.com/terms/d/dollar-auction.asp
This explains the old people actors in the commercials.
I want to get my cut of baby boomer fear/ignorance money handouts.
So I can bid, get beat, and pay for nothing?
That reminds me — I entered a silent auction for a quilt yesterday at the Harvest Festival and haven’t heard back….
Ooffalo Bills somehow up by a score.
Know how I am sure Gardner Minshew is white? Terry Bradshaw just said “it’s not his fault he fumbled.”
Anyone want to see where Terry said that about Cam or Kaep?
Eagles up by 3 TDs in a game where both teams have combined for just over 200 yards is all you need to know
The Kingsbury offense that can’t pick up three yards seven seconds before the half….
Mike Bidwill should kill himself.
Murray is going to die if he doesn’t stop aiming at knees when he slides
He’s a baseball player first smgdh.
AIR RAID (scramble)
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
Thank you Cousins for your lack of pocket awareness.
Another injury? Do the Bengals have a strength and/or conditioning program?
It consists of cage fighting MMA champions to ‘toughen them up’
So Greg Hardy is back in the NFL, somewhat?
If you think of Football teams kind of like The Pokemans, where certain teams are weak or strong against certain elements, then maybe the Pats are weak against shitty NFC East teams
Me: “Carve ’em up, Dalvin! Woo!”
Also Me: “Christ Giants, stop that fucking Cook guy!”
BRADY-CEPTION!!1!??!??? Is that allowed?
He stinks.
Look at this picture I found.
PUH-PUH-PUH-PAW?
Weeks of Eagles being physically unable of stopping the pass, now the hapless Jets are getting devoured and Doug has randomly forgotten how to call plays
Are the P*ts just playing a long con on us by keeping this game close for the 1st half?
Bellicheck harvesting hope like promising his Milfs children he’ll take care of them
Diet time!
Oops, wait, they make a stuffed Cheez-It pizza now. Reset!
31 NFL Teams: “Okay, a Jet Sweep. We got this.”
Bengals Defense: “THE WIDE RECEIVER IS GETTING THE HANDOFF AFTER THE SNAP?! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?”
This Giants game is starting to feel like a big old drink.
DJ Shark! Do do do do
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9M_FlkAiTSo
Tiny Darren aims high and gets called for a chop block
Bengals are down to four WRs, two of them undrafted rookies.
I’m sure Red Rocket will make them all look great.
SUDDEN CHANGE WOO!!!!
This is obviously Cousins’ fault.
Pederson calls a PI challenge on a play with clearly no PI just so he can make the refs watch their missed holding call a million times over. I appreciate the spite but it takes so looooooooooooooooooooong
Has anyone ever met a “Chase” who wasn’t a complete piece of shit?
I’ve had pretty good customer service interactions with Chase bank, and I enjoy their rewards credit card offerings
“Their laundry service is also quite under-rated.”
-Russian Mafia
I haven’t met Chase Masterson, but I’d like to think she’s alright.
The one from Paw Patrol…wait, he’s a cop. No.
I knew a kid – he was only fourteen – who was a solid dude.
Just because Cousins has good stats doesn’t mean I’m going to stop criticizing him, pffft
EXTEND Dingleberry, u noe u want 2!!
STOP THROWING TO THIELEN YOU ASSHOLE
ARZ/CIN referee always look like the call he’s announcing is the most heinous thing he’s ever witnessed and he is using every fiber of his being not to kill the guilty party on the field.
Rudolph….CAN fail!
yet another Gay FG ,, smgdh
Mozzarella TD
CIN sucks
It’s their fault for being in Ohio
It is a shithole state.
AND NEW
Even against each other’s hapless defensing units, David Johnson and Beatie Mixon eat all the shit.
Has the NFL aired more fish tossing or cheesesteak making over the years?
YES
I’m still waiting for the shitty Italian sub making footage
Can’t wait for the Raider games next year to show people handing out brothel and titty bar cards on the strip during the bumpers.
If Gallman doesn’t come back to the field Danny Jones is going toss 50 balls minimum.
he’s OUT, per RedZone
That’s my fault. I started him this week.
as did Orange Silces & Cocaine. Ahead of any of Frank Gore, Bleeding Kansas, or old man Leonard Cohen. I SUCK AT EVERYTHING
Shit, Gallman is concussed.
Only 50? Amateur.
-Houston
That Larry Fitzgerald guy looks pretty good. The Bengals might wanna cover that guy.
Cincy got a scouting report saying Fitty retired, and they’re too smart to cover a retired player.
Cincinnati Scouting Report: a copy of Madden NFL 13 that Mike Brown bought when Blockbuster went out of business.
Need to put the baby to sleep? I’d suggest Titans/Bills.
Kyler Murray: Sack Magnet
That absolutely sounds like a porn title
Search term for Balls?
Few people know the T in CTE is for tea-bagging
First match as Orange Slices & Cocaine…not great, Bob!
So I lied. I actually did almost 6 miles. Beautiful beach day.
Classic car gatherings include: in parking lot 2 VWs of all shapes and sizes. Mostly beetles, micro-buses and some Kharmann-Ghias.
In parking lot 3: classic and custom…pick-ups? I didn’t even know that was a thing and having seen it still don’t know why it would ever be a thing.
Minshboo
Damn, Dalvin Cook can scoot and knock a guy over.
Look, Buffalo Wild Wings, I might find myself in one of your establishments again someday, but don’t ever ask me to refer to you as “B-Dubs.” Stop trying to make fetch happen.
I assume the market agency they use has whatever sorority girl came up with calling Panda Express simply Panda.
Trainer: “Good news, Alex! They reversed the call! You got the first down!”
Erickson: “That’s good. One question. Who’s Alex?”
Remember that MNF (I think) a few years ago when CIN played at ARI and it was a great game?
Won’t see that again until NFL 500.
Is that really the Bears/Raiders score?
Chase gonna Chase.