NFL Nuggets:
- Sam Darnold has been cleared to play this Sunday against the Cowboys.
- He was apparently all-but-ready to go against the Eagles, but an ultrasound showed an enlarged spleen, a side-effect of mono, apparently.
- GRONK ON FOX NOW!
- His first action will be this Thursday during the Thursday Night pregame show.
- Shocker! The Patriots are playing the Giants that night.
- His first action will be this Thursday during the Thursday Night pregame show.
- Someone asked & JERRAH! answered: Jason Garrett is safe for the season.
- As an English teacher, even I can see it’s bad business to fire Garrett now, when you can just let him go for free when his contract expires at the end of the season.
- The going odds are that Dan Quinn will be next.
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- Sharks at Predators – 8:00PM | NBCSN
- all Canadian games are regional broadcasts, so fuck Rogers with a hot knife.
- MLB:
- Astros at Rays – 7:00PM | FS1 / Sportsnet
- WNBA Playoff:
- Game 4: Washington Mystics at Connecticut Sun – 8:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN4
- NBA Preseason Basketball:
- Mavericks at Thunder – 8:00PM | ESPN
- Nuggets at Trail Blazers – 10:30PM | ESPN
- Rugby World Cup:
- Argentina vs. USA – 12:45AM | NBCSN / TSN
- Scotland vs. Russia – 3:15AM | NBCSN / TSN
- Wales vs. Fiji – 5:45AM | NBCSN / TSN
Watching Canada get whupped by South Africa 66-7 reminds me that maybe it’s not just enough to get invited.
Boy, that game didn’t stay close.
And now Scotland appears to be off on the right foot.
All right, I’m back from poker. I got way luckier than I had any right to get tonight, though it ran out on me at the end. One thing I learned tonight (from people who worked with her) is that CONSTANCE WU AIN’T CARE. She actually expressed disappointment publicly that her show got renewed cause she had other stuff she wanted to do.
Rugby good so far.
What game are you watching?
USA – Argentina. It was 19-5 at the half for the Maradonas
Good first 20 minutes. USA left a lot of points on the table
I arrived for the last two minutes, which was actually quite good for the US side. Shame about the 47 points the Pumas scored.
Shitty Gulf city beats shitty Gulf city
(Where the meth is good and the girls ain’t pretty)
Oh that’s good
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hv_zJrO_ptk
I heard this song on way to airport tonight!
da da da da da da da!
Wait, Mother Teresa died of autoerotic asphyxiation?
Yes, she did.
found a funny:
friend: please don’t take this the wrong way
me: [already filling my overalls with rocks and walking into the ocean] ok
Here’s a Quoteables GIF that didn’t make the cut for tomorrow’s post. Go nuts.
“Ha-ha-ha-ha-HADOUKEN!”
/captions
That’s exactly what I said.
Is he doing a thing that I should know what that thing is?
Because for now, my caption is “I’m shoving a bowling ball up your urethra! Take that, penile opening!” which isn’t really my best work. (j/k it’s probably my best work)
Sounding?
BALLS!…You know what? That’s too mean. DO NOT search pornhub for that.
I’m glad I wasn’t the only person who learned something that day.
I’m too late to get this joke.
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Sounding
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHHHHHHHHHH
WHAT DID I SAY??
“You guys wanna see something cool?”
“Do I have to teach you how to force it in?”
-J. Winston
….andy dalton?
Gronk’s Cloud of HPV should be someone’s new FF team name.
My teams are Rob and Tug, and Kraft Mac and Squeeze. I saw Hand Krafted today and kicked myself for not thinking of that.
This is what Houston gets for not pronouncing it “Howston” anymore.
I like to have fun whenever I’m there and always say “Hooo-ston”
The city or the porno lady?
Anyone gonna be up watching the footy at 1245a
9:45 Best Coast Time. You betcha.
Sports on the west coast is awesome.
So before I make my next comment, I’d like to know if China has investments in any DFO bloggers? Just want to know what’s allowed around here
I think General Tso has a controlling interest in a few of us, occasionally.
I’ve been trying to sell my share to Red China for $16, but I’m told someone is willing to take $5 worth of opiates for theirs.
Everything is allowed here except for full frontal nudity because America was created by a bunch of prudes.
I made approximately zero money but some sort of per diem touring?
“I faced three days under fire from the Per Diem Touring.”
— Trent Green
I like chinese food.
…..and Kelly Hu
http://www.mybfw.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Entertainment-1.jpg
Kelly Hu was going to be hosting some Dem fundraiser that we were going to go to and I bet my wife that I’d be able to get her number. I wish I still had that level of misplaced confidence.
It’s pretty well known around here that I’m a member of both the Chinese Politburo and the Central Comprehensively Deepening Reforms Commission, and I’ve never denied it or tried to hide it. I don’t really believe in any of it, but the bribes I get are pretty sweet.
DFO is not Communist. It may be a lair, a pig, an idiot, a Communist, but it is NOT a porn star!
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
I’ll embrace and incorporate the undecided, the non-voters, the suppressed voters, the third-party supporters, literally anyone but Republicans. Republicans are excised like cancer and treated like like the worthless pieces of shit they are until they make amends. I do not give a fuck what they think, I do not give a fuck about appealing to them. When we win, they get on board or they fuck off. You don’t get away with treason for fifty years and then get a fucking hug from the people you’ve spent a lifetime destroying.
Of course, that’s the real joke: we’ll never win because we’re stupid and lazy and cowardly. So they will do the exact same thing just like they’ve been doing for the last 51 years. And we will sit back and eat shit and get robbed by these fucking cretins forever because Americans are worthless fucks who won’t fight for anything.
there is just soooo much fluidity in partisan affiliation nowadays. When I moved to this small town/suburb of the mighty metropolis that is Raleigh, NC? There was ONE Dem/left-leaning indy on the town council, and the mayoral races were always “chamber of commerce” Republican against “activist, light everything on fire” Republican.
Now, there is only ONE Republcan on the council (running for re-election against 2 Dems for a total of 2 seats – the GOP couldn’t even fill the 2nd slot for their “card”) and a Dem is running unopposed for Mayor.
And these aren’t people who switch back, team players who vote straight ticket, and assimilated WAY faster than the old Southern “Demosaurs.” But they still vote EVERY TIME like small town/suburban types.
We’ve got a real chance to build an enduring progressive majority here. But the tides are shifting fast, and it’s not easy to keep everything in sight.
Basically, it’s North Carolina following Virginia. Georgia and Texas follow North Carolina. Then, we aren’t stuck begging for Ohio and Florida all the goddamned time.
Well that sounds encouraging.
it’s why the entire GOP establishment sold their souls for “judges” and is playing footsie with full-on fascism. They know they aren’t gonna be winning elections on their IDEAS.
I like to vote Republican because it makes me feel rich.
(Oval office, mid 2020. Camera on Trump as the ‘convict’ ruling comes down from the Senate. Trump addresses the camera directly.)
Trump: “We had a great time, I wanna thank everybody on my staff, and every body if you know what I mean, but now I’d like to announce…”
(Trump stands up and walks to a door on his left, opens it and walks through. We cut to another camera from inside the new room, showing Trump entering. It’s a board room with a long table, brightly lit, lots of photogenic businessmen and women of perfectly balanced races to appeal to all 18-35 demographics.)
Trump: “The next season of The Apprentice starts now!”
(Insert studio applause, Trump signals for them to settle down.)
Trump: “And I’d like to introduce my newest right-hand man, Vlad!”
(A smiling, human looking Putin enters, sits down next to Trump.)
Putin, with no hint of Russian accent: “I’m so glad the politics season is over, Don, now let’s get down to business and see how many girl scout cookies Gary Busey can sell on 4th Avenue!”
(Insert more studio applause. Fade out.)
I’m not sure if that would be a good ending to this nonsense, or make it worse
What an ice hole.
Icehole?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0v4sOvEa7AM
Footage of Seamus this past February?
What’s next Verlander? You gonna balk Choi?
My only regret is that I have only one “This is Great” to give.
Mr. Upton will be sleeping in the car tonight.
No boobies in there.
You’re drunk Verlander. Go home.
I should not have read internet comments regarding Cheeto Mussilini defying congress today.
I need a drink
Finally catching up on internet comments from the last 3 years?
THESE UNITED STATES CITIZENS, I CALL THEM THE DENIZENS OF LONDON IN SWEENEY TODD BECAUSE WE ALL DESERVE TO DIE.
I hate that people still treat him and McConnell like anomalies and not like the current set of republican traitors and crooks that have run this country into the pits of hell for the last fifty years.
Honestly, reading comments about the imbecile in chief actually desensitized to his winning. Don’t know what I’m trying to say here, noting ventured, nothing gained?
Ooh, Stros are on.! Man, I miss the Killer B’s.
LOL. I need to send that graphic to someone. But she’d get really really pissed.
Meh, who cares?
DO IT
I have missed having Curbstomp sauce, but goddamn it feels good.
Speaking of sauce, you’re gonna have a shitload of peppers by this time next week. One more harvest in a coupla days then they’ll be on their way north. I can’t believe how many there are.
George Lincoln Rockwell’s off-Broadway musical CurbSTOMP never had the success that his supporters thought it would.
Engram and Shepard and Gallman and Barkley are out Thursday vs. the Pats. Giants are gonna get carved up more than a prize tuna at the Tsukiji Fish Market.
Maybe they’ll show some footage of them throwing fish in the Fish Market in Seattle. They probably have some in the vaults.
I just now learned that Justin Theroux was in Miami Vice (2006)
Evening lizard people. I can’t believe anyone has ever said this, but go Rays!
I did after watching “The Rookie” in school”
this particular fan enthusiasm lasted all of 2 minutes
How in god’s name do I phrase this without providing an opportunity for an innuendo
What about the guy who owns both Original Famous Ray’s Pizza AND Ray’s Original Famous Pizza chains in NYC?
I believe the sergeants in SPACE FORCE have said that numerous times.
Everything sucks. I’m totally stuck in a limbo of failure and uncertainty.
But at least I’m not a Jets fan.
What’s the point of watching blurb-ball after the Boob Jays won the Girdled Series bark in 19-Nifty-One?
I don’t know who made the Ice Giants schedule, but 6 days off in the first week of the season seems like a bad idea.
Can’t get enough camera shots of hot girls in the stands glued to their phones.
and if they get hit hard enough by a foul ball, they might become interested in ME!!!
That’s why I voted against the netting.
Have any of you ever been driving and felt the urge to fart? You’re alone in the car so you decide to let it go. Then suddenly something shifts and you’re no longer sure of the “state of matter” coming down the pike. Could be gas, solid….or God forbid….liquid. So you clench and hit the accelerator.
Yeah, me neither. Never done that.
Good news is I made it home.
to be over 35 is to…keep an extra pair of pants in the office
Have you done it… in tux pants?
I’m afraid to ask if you still performed.
It was luckily on the way home.
What to watch? Be like me and watch Good Eats.
/is food nerd
If Dallas keeps Princeton after this year, there should be a riot in the Metroplex. I would advise JJ against riding in any convertibles if that were to happen.
[JJ decides to keep Princeton]
[sales of Mannlicher-Carcano rifles soar]
Come on. Everyone knows you use Barrett rifles to hunt oil men.
There’s gonna be a riot in the metroplex bc illegals.
“Focus, ya gotta focus. Throw it right between Katie’s tits.”
-Verlander, escaping the inning
Seems like we will see Wade Miley sooner rather than later.
#PartyInTehUSA
/not sure if I posted it the other day
Me: “Honey, I hiked all the way from ‘X’ Creek to the lookout tower and back again!”
Her “I remember when you ran from our house in the middle of town to the tower and back again.”*
*she pushes me in more than one way
Verlander 1st inning home run is like seeing the sun rise in the east.
Tommy Pham is a badass. My ideal is for him to come back to SL for the WS. He will get the biggest ovation you’ve ever heard for an opposing player.
Either he gives up 4 more in 5 innings and he’s done or strikes out everybody for 8 innings.
Well he only gave up 3 more in only 4 innings. Oh well.
Remember like three years ago when all the fat, lazy, complacent, piece of shit baseball sprotswriters voted Rick Porcello the Cy Young winner over Verlander because Porcello had more team wins and one of the voters voted for “Jason Verlander”?
there are deffo a subset of voters unaware of anything that takes place outside NY, BOS, or LA.
“Pork is almost right there in the name. We gotta vote for old Ricky!”
-Fat, lazy, complacent sportswriters
“Cello is right there in the name, we gotta vote for him!”
-Major League Bassist writers who got the ballot by mistake
It’s too bad Gronk isn’t going to be on the CBS broadcast; sitting next to Phil Simms for 5 seconds should be more than enough time for that walking cloud of HPV to kill him in his chair, live on camera.
I would love to see that.
One team has Justin Verlander. The other is tossing a bullpen game.