Dunno if you were with us last weekend, but it was pretty dire from an entertainment perspective. And Lesser Footy is on another interminable international break. Thank fuck the footy g-ds have blessed us with some tasty matchups this 12 October.
Oklahoma (-10.5) v. Texas @ Cotton Bowl, Dallas, TX (Noon, Fox)
Ah the good old Red River SHOOTOUT, where one can’t possibly ever set the o/u high enough. Unless Hippo tries to bet it, which he ain’t. Winner takes yuuuuuuuge lead in the Big Twaaaaalve race, and the spot for bitching about Notre Fucking Dame getting in the playoff ahead of ’em. Boomer Sooner.
Mississippi State (-6.5) at Tennessee (Noon, SECN)
Man alive, my long ded granddaddy (that’s the nicest person I ever met, not the raycess one) would have hated to see his beloved Vols laid this low, where one watches much like how one watches a gruesome traffic accident.
Alabama (-17) at Texas A&M (3:30, CBS)
Finally, a team that MIGHT make Roll Damn Tide at least have to try. But I still don’t expect much in terms of breaking a sweat. The likes of Jimbo Fisher ain’t gonna beat Nick Saban, especially when he has lesser talent on hand.
Michigan State (+10.5) at Wisconsin (3:30, BTN)
God, I can’t even remember how long it has been since I previewed a BTN game. The league generally sucks and/or is uncompetitive, but gets outsized teevee coverage. Sparty has been iffy so far, but this seems like the kind of matchup that they win, and fall back into anonymity afterward.
Washington State (-1.0) at Arizona State (3:30, PAC-12)
0-2 Wazzu is favoured in the desert, against a ranked opponent. Look, everybody knows Herm Edwards is eventually reverting to the mean. Sooner rather than later. Plus, I thought they avoided daytime games in AZ, due to not wanting folks to die out there?
Texas Tech (+11.0) at Baylor (4:00, FS1)
This line is ridiculous, unless BayBay really started to pay-pay again. Heavily. Or there was a massacre on the Guns Up!! campus. I try not to watch the news that much.
Iowa State (-10.0) at West By God Virginia (4:00, ESPN)
Again, that spread. On the road? No. Just no. Maybe WCS will get happy daytime whiskey for a change?
Ole Miss (+12.5) at Missouri (7:00, ESPN2)
One of those quasi-random matchups that I have a funny feeling will entertain. My track record ain’t great in this genre (as in most).
Florida (+13.5) at LSU (8:00, ESPN)
Finally, the good stuff. I really like contests like this, under the lights in an insane place, with strength against strength. In this instance, you are talking about LSU’s prolific passing game against Florida’s lockdown pass defense. Methinks people are still lending too much weight to how bad UF looked in their opener, but it seems like every game with Miami turns into a mutual diarrhea fest. This team can play, in that fundamentally sound Dan Mullen way.
Utah (-15.0) at Oregon State (8:00, PAC-12)
Will Team Secular Big Love be a little hard on the (Niiiiiiiiiice) Beavers? Vegas sure thinks so. I think I disagree.
Wyoming (+3.5) at San Diego State (10:30, CBSSN)
Coming down off the swamp-based sugar high, there is this little Mountain West tweaker matchup. These teams both REALLY want to run, and control time of possession. Each has a Power-5 scalp to their resume, so I think it merits one’s attention.
Wow, I guess Georgia saw the run up the middle coming.
“My kicker is 8/9 from inside the 50 this year, but fuck that guy, amirite?” Will Muschamp
There is apparently a staff member whose JOB it is to drag Kirby Smart off the pitch by the belt.
There’s a few colleges that have one of those guys, usually an strength & conditioning assistant.
It’s something I think about every time I get an additional fee bill for my son’s semester at UConn.
#WorthIt!!
At UConn it would be worth it to have someone pull Edsall off the sidelines during the game and let someone who gives a shit call plays.
The Chiefs have three guys for that job.
5 for the post-game at Golden Corral
I think it’s time to rewatch The League. Can never get enough fantasy football, awful human beings, and 9/11 heroes.
…
Parker White CAN lose.
South Carolina is going to shank the fuck out of this FG, I can feel it.
WOMP WOMP confirmed!!
Brb, running out to buy lottery tickets.
imagine having a ML bet on the Cocks. I’d be ded for sure.
“I’ve been betting on the cocks to cover for years!”
-Buddy after a few drinks, probably.
Can’t fault Fromm for that one. Hit him right in the hands.
Football talking guy: “What’s the harm (in trying a long-ass field goal as time expires)?”
Alabammy fans: “Nothing, never seen that backfire on anyone.”
Couldn’t happen to a better franchise
You can see why Bama always wins the SEC. Every other coach is on the spectrum, at minimum.
Oh my god if South Carolina ran that back I would never have stopped laughing.
Try the FG for fuck’s sake
watch ’em try it after this dumbass timeout
Hold my beer! – Kirby S., Athens, GA
“Hey! Who stole my beer?”
-Kirby S., two minutes later
MexiNerd, how much Old South pussy you want tonight??
Or maybe the cocks know they’ll just get another pick-6 and wanted to get back on defense.
Even if SCar makes the kick, there’s still 40 seconds left and Georgia only needs a fg to tie.
make the first down, you run out the clock and have a realistic FG attempt.
Borat, sportsball announcer: Will Muschamp, he have the very funny retardation.
Cocks have to go for this. ZERO chance to win in OT.
So they can call holding even if the ball’s in the air?
“Sure. [shrugs shoulders] Why not?”
-Refs during a Pats game
Georgia with the ol’ “fling it in the air and hope for the PI” play, and it pays off.
South Cakalaky now, too
Mike Vrabel doesn’t understand why UGA ain’t kicking a FG
Isn’t Jake Fromm a top QB prospect for this year? Because saying that “it’s never a good sign for Georgia when Fromm has to throw a lot” would seem to indicate otherwise.
He’s like #4, but was the Hippo #1. I am nae much of a scout.
Somewhere Elway’s ears are burning.
So he flicks his tail towards them to chase away the flies.
yeah, why guard the guy they throw to 90% of the time?
Georgia, Oklahoma will eventually win as this is the timeline we live in.
cheering for Boomer Sooner, because Okies is more likely be #BFIB
The ref in the Okie/Tex game just don’t like them Dukes of Hazard boys.
Love untimed downs. Not talking about when Darnold ran the 40.
he did, however, still get a sticker at the end. Which was nice.
South Cakalaky, with a bone-tired defense, nursing a 7-point lead, with the WR playing QB? Running fucking tempo.
A side from the Sounth striking quick, overextending themselves, only for their downfall to come through Georgia?
QUALITY!
Banner this man. And by that I mean give him a white flag and send him to Appomattox.
that was a great, REALLY stupid play by Hurts
Confirmed – for the 15th consecutive season, Te-jas is vastly overrated.
Bahahaha Georgia this is delicious.
Dawgs going DOWN. Woof.
I’ve had an epiphany. My entire life I’ve drank milk. Every day basically. I’ve been doing more and more research into climate change and root causes and more and more the dairy industry keeps coming up. That’s why I did the Sunday Gravy episode with the Beyond meat.
I’m going to stop drinking milk. I’ll still cook with it but I can drink water instead.
Or booze. That’s being eco-friendly!
That’s some quality rationale.
Dairy and meat, both. Also, turns out the ocean is running out of fish.
What a time to be alive!
some sliding down draft boards at the Cotton Bowl today
Cocks STILL up, Q4 in Athens with a WR playing QB
Bulldogs gonna bulldog
Back in the day when vids were still a thing, this one was a real shitkicker.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXqPjx94YMg
YAY, someone get a Hippo joke
LAMBDOWN!
#ConstantCravingDOWN!!!
the personal foul should stand, but nae the targeting.
you CAN achieve ur goals
TERTAS TERDAWN!
I love how Gus Johnson genuinely loves FITBAW.
Gus genuinely loves cream cheese on a whole wheat bagel first thing in the morning. He’s an incredibly inclusive fella.
OH!!!! Reasonably healthy BREAKFAST!
Chilean Everton is playing today. Irrationally proud of myself for not betting ’em.
If I could imagine real hard, I’m making bacon and eggs for Jenny Taft. She says, “where’s the hash browns? Today’s my carb day.” I laugh and cut up some potatoes, realizing that she’s trying to establish dominance in this relationship. I’ll bide my time, for now…
Jenny: “I know I said I’d try anything, honey, but this…”
Scotchy: “C’mon, we did your thing last week, just hold the bindle and try to look sad.”
“Jenny’s odds are not looking good.”
-Hippo, after checking the line
Did I hallucinate and early morning EPL post?
“Lesser Footy is on another interminable international break. Thank the lesser footy Gods”
Fixed that for you.
From a Man United fan.
Here’s hoping Ole realizes that trying to be a poor man’s Mourinho is stupid and ineffective and that he remembers he had success running a 4-3-3 when he was the interim.
Voiceover: He didn’t.
Spurs wont make me irrationally angry this weekend. I’ll take it.
as much as Everton has dry bummed the faithful all season, it always drives me up the wall having to wait 2 weeks for the next match
Denmark gol. Irish get lucky.
What’s the clover/under?
“End of fence isn’t properly stained. Would not bang with Bob Vila’s hammer. 2.5/10”.
-Jimmy Carter
But he would lust after her in his heart.
is this a SFW pic of Karla Kush??
Consecutive timeouts should be a capital offense, or at least count as an unsprotsmanlike penalty
the combined IQ of these Shootout QBs is like a buck-fifteen
Didn’t know they even had partial points on the IQ test.
a buck-fifteen Canadian
Anyone know what the line was before Okie Texas started?
it say in teh post. Boomer -10.5
I didn’t look. My apologies for sheer stupidity.
these was Friday night lines, though. May have drifted a half point down. I don’t recall when I made my am bets (Gators, Cornpone State, Guns Up!! – all ML)
Okie was -10.5?
Wow I read the lines wrong I guess. Glad I didn’t bet.
Yep, I just went and checked. I totally read that one wrong.
Texas -10 I think.
Why does the name “Rodrigo Blankenship” make me laugh?
Because you’re high?
Don’t I wish.
Inlaws, wife and kid went out for an hour walk. I am high now and enjoying the peace.
Well that attempt was about 20 yards short.
And 20 yards to the right.
Fuck UGa, what is your problem today?