What, you thought I was going to reference this bukkakke-ganza of a game in the title? For shame…
Fallout:
-It would seem that Matt Ryan has just a regular old sprained ankle and not the ‘high’ kind. Soon to be not-coach Quinn indicated that he’s already running in a pool (of his own blood?) today.
-Fantasy owners everywhere were given the shaft when David Johnson couldn’t make a go of it yesterday. Chase Edmonds thanked the magical black custodian that believed in him when no one else did, after the game.
-Relatedly, the Cards have invited both Spencer Ware and Jay Ajayi to audition for an rb spot. The written portion consists of “can you carry an oblong ball several yards down the field?” and “did you get the ‘Rudy’ reference in an obscure football blog that was posted just now?”.
-Don’t tell me that Fin’s safety Bobby McCain doesn’t care about his team. He’ll be disciplined soon for spitting in the face of a Bills fan and exchanging words with a 13 year-old after Miami’s loss yesterday. This has clinched it for me-they’re gonna finish 1-15, not 0-16.
-Despite extremely poor qb play of late, the Bears ran the ball all of 7 (SEVEN!) times yesterday. According to reporters present after the game, coach Matt Nagy lifted his head to the sky and yelled, “I’M NOT AN IDIOT!” to the football gods. The lack of response from the gods was deafening.
TO THE GAME!
Pats/Jets:
What’s to say here? I sorta enjoy Booger McFarland’s incredibly *insistent!* announcing. The birds that live in Sam Darnold’s eyebrows sing a melodious tune. Bill Belichick’s favourite food is ‘cupcakes’. C.J. Mosley missed his calling as a private dick in late ’60’s Las Vegas. Yeah, that’s about it.
Type you beautiful mutherfuckers, type.
How the fuck ya doin boys?
On behalf of Jets fans, I apologize to all other fans of the sport for our team signing Le’Veon Bell. It would’ve been fun to watch him play on an actual team for a few more years. I hope he quits like Barry Sanders.
Huh. Don’t see the entirely wrong replay that often.
And good night, you puckish fuckers
Oh, Sammy…..
maybe pull your starters, Gase?
Is Belichick pulling his offense out? I saw the backup with his helmet on.
I thought Nugent was old, but Brady was still drafted 5 years before him.
he was old in that “High Enough” video, FFS
Down 24-0, we should run it up the middle.
Same result.
Offensive genius Adam Gase
Are the Grits gonna have a majority gubment, eh?
Probably not? They’re down in the Atlantic right now. Quebec’s splitting the progressive vote 4 ways again. Ontario … hard to predict, we got Ford driving voters away but also we elected Ford in the first place and we plum forgot the Harper years by now.
My province will go 100% fuckwit. It is embarrassing. My apologies.
even the cities??
Oh yes, I live in 1 questionable riding which is very urban but the riding has enough of super rich that live near downtown to go fuckwit. I like living here but the politics both federally and provincially are awful.
Christ, I would rather watch Pat Shurmur continually run draw plays on 3rd and long. The Jets are miserable.
They were a’ight against the Cowboys.
Not surprised that they’re getting completely outplayed by the Patriots though.
makes one miss that super compelling Iggles/Non-Gendereds match from last night
They really should have named this place FetLife Stadium, because anyone who’s willingly a fan of the New York Jets is clearly a hardcore masochist.
Well, at least the “competition” the P*triots get in their division is remarkably consistent over the years.
Well, at least Jets fans got almost 8 full days to bask in the glory of the victory over the Cowboys before reality came crashing back like this guy.
Holy shit. There’s 10 minutes left in the second quarter?!
Yes, but the game is over.
On the pregame, Darnold said sitting out for three weeks watching made him a better QB. I think he might have been mistaken.
Hold my 8-ball.
-Adam Gase
Shut the fuck up Edelman. You know you’ll be punished with a touchdown.
This is WORSE than 45-3 on Thanksgiving. The NE home game and your players can’t even be bothered to FUCKING PAY ATTENTION!?!? The fans should get their ticket money back.
Well that was a “football” game.
Hey all, Is the Watchmen show any good? I need a new show and i’m debating between whether I should start watching The Boys or Watchmen first?
The Boys if you want to be in a good mood. Watchmen if otherwise. Also for Watchman the opening scene actually happened in the US history planes and all.
Thanks! Good to know. Hmm…I think i’ll watch the Boys because it’s a work week and I wanna be in a good mood. Watchmen will be more of a weekend thing.
Yeah and its just the opening episode still Watchmen is good and seems promising.
Made by the creator of Lost though, so expect to get fucked eventually.
Wow, I’m up for tha…… oh, you mean….
Meanwhile in the Canadian election
*HIGH QUALITY CANDIDATE NAME ALERT*
Name : Le Marquis De Marmalade
Party : Rhinoceros
Riding: Algoma—Manitoulin—Kapuskasing
This is said Marquis
How do you make a shit drenched Monday even better? Come home to a guy using a motherfucking NAIL GUN and COMPRESSOR in your house and listen to it for THREE FUCKING HOURS!
It drowns out the slurping on Dreamboat’s cock
You have fairly different masturbation habits, that said, we are not here to judge. I’m here to encourage; but please wear hearing protection and don’t come on the power cord.
We’ve replaced the New York Jets this evening with–oh no wait, those are the real Jets.
Crucify Tebow
Not worth it, he’ll just be back in 3 days.
King Kong will fuck anything.
That’s super racist.
That’s fucking funny.
I wish I could say the same. It would make life a lot easier
oh YEAH, I still have It’s Always Sunny in the DVR
so now that the game is over, what is everyone doing for Halloween?
I am 46. So, nothing. Well, I will have to sit downstairs and hand out candy to the handful of bell ringers.
Buying a bunch of candy I like and then “forgetting” to turn on any lights so it looks like no one is home. Then binge.
King size. And leave some wrappers on the porch. Just to be a dick.
the fuck do I still have this on?
Michel ded?
So the asswipe art director posted something really shitty about Columbus on Columbus Day – and yes, I get it, but I’m proud of my heritage. He’s Irish, so wait until fucking St. Patrick’s day. Just you fucking wait.
RELEASE THE SNAKES!!!
The only land the Irish colonized was Boston because no one else fucking wanted it.
Bondi Beach in Sydney is County Bondi so they got 2 and that is it.
I get the word play on gangrene, but why would anybody apply it to a football team? Oh wait, the Jets are green, stinky, and fall apart easily.
Dead, rancid flesh…. flies.
Maggots, a danger to the living parts.
….and that’s just the fans.
hopefully, this is it for these chucklefucks and national broadcasts
I am enjoying the Apex SuperTarget’s newest option, blood orange ginger beer. It is sublime.
I thought Fireman Ed was a thing of the past. So glad it’s not true.
7-0 NE in the first quarter. I assume that’s an insurmountable lead against the Jets
Just tuned in. Yep, DFO will be far more entertaining than this. Last nights debacle will be topped.
The Jets Triple D* Offense is firing on all cylinders, I see.
*Downs Syndrome Darnold Does It Again
But just IMAGINE the tax deductions we get! – Woody J., East Rutherford, NJ
I prefer Caveman Quarterback. Most Downs Syndrome people have a better understanding of modern defenses.
What did Star Wars mean to you?
Me: Nothing. I mean, it’s a space-western. There’s nothing more to it.
I saw it in a theater when I was 7, and I enjoyed the hell out of it. I got the toys and the bed sheets. Then I grew up, discovered tits, and just went to see the movies once in awhile. That’s what it means to me – realizing tits are way better to play with than plastic action figures.
I didn’t really like it that much when I was a little kid. Watched it again as a teenager (with a bunch of super exuberant fans), and it didn’t hold up even to that standard.
“Tell us your favourite Star Wars characters in descending order and we’ll tell you how quickly your boyfriend will gut you and leave you for dead!”
-Buzzfeed
What boyfriend?
The women who wore the Leia slave costumes with little or no underwear were fantastic for several years there.
Edelman is a cunt. I want to pull his eyeballs out and then shit on his brains.
u skipped teh skullfucking smgdh
Did he though?
Rona Ambrose’s budget for plastic surgery exceeds the GDP of Benin.
How did racist-as-fuck Hank Williams Jr. get his MNF gig back?
Trump broke the curve.
You know, the Jets may be a nice team to root for.
OH GOD! WHAT HAVE I BECOME?!?!
It’s too late for an Exorcism. We’re just going to have to burn him at the stake.
Libs up 24 to 5 so far. As I suspected, Andrew Sheer is a dickbag.
but wut about when REAL CANADIA starts reporting??
Don’t worry, real honest salt-of-the-earth Canadians would never vote for a lifetime politician. That’s not somebody you can have a beer with.
Peter McKay is a jerkbag.
Also what’s up with Canada hijacking our shit? We have our thanksgiving in November, they schedule theirs for October; we declare independence from England, then they follow along 50 years later; we elect a vapid, boisterous clown as president, then they just happen to release a picture of their president doing something stupid right after. God! Stop copying us! Do your own thing Canada!
At least its not UK. Their Prime Minister looks and acts like our President’s annoying little brother.
Can only assume some kind of vast Conservative conspiracy to schedule a Leafs game on election day.
Head’s Up-
A few of us Canuck fellas might be yakking about our country’s election.
Liberals up 3 so far. I don’t know what that means.
Oh god. I just… have no hope in humanity any more. I’m assuming Bernier somehow becomes PM or kingmaker.
Thomas Much-hair, the guy that destroyed all of Jack Layton’s work.
Eh. There seems a lot of internal debate whether Muclair ruined what Layton did or whether Layton had long laid the grounds for an NDP shift to the centre. Or whether neither of them had anything to do with it, and this is just what the NDP does sometimes (like with Alexa McDonaugh).
Either way, a lot of my NDP favourites are no longer with the party.
I thought Layton’s NDP success in Quebec was a one of kind thing that no other leader could ever accomplish.
I’m still so pissed about that. T hose young MPs were good. They could easily have been a new generation of political leaders. Instead we went back and got the same old shit we’ve always had.
Bernier is going to peel off a lot of Sheer’s support. And for that I’m very grateful.
So are the beavers or moose going to be in charge this year?
Too early to tell-polar bears have announced that they’re willing to be part of a coalition government though.
Please let me know if things start looking good or bad. I probably would be NDP up there, but the Grits seem adequate.
Whooo adequacy!
hey, when living under a fascist lunatic, adequacy looks like the Holy Fookin’ Grail
I’m applying for jobs in the US.
Am worried about being shot, inadvertently walking into a culture war battlefield, getting fucked by a health issue, getting detained because of my race, getting fat, in that order.
eh, still more likely to get struck by lightning than shot, I’d focus on the health and fat thingamabobs
Am an academic, so #1 and #2 are professionally heightened risks.
Heck, just today, I was thinking about whether the shit I post here could ever leak out and get me in trouble. But ……
And, don’t forget, the Jets!
It was rough and touch-and-go there, but I managed to beat the odds and leave work employed and not in police custody.
An Ohio miracle.
patriots gonna get the win, right?
found a funny:
HR: you list 911 as your emergency contact
me: i hear they’re the best
Can’t believe Syfy just let this go
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Jc76QrX5Vg
This thread wouldn’t be possible but for the magic fingers of Low Commander. [assumes prayer position] May he one day escape the clutches of the Orchids of Asia Day Spa.
Kung-fu grip is a part of Super Soldier training that I did not realize could lead to sex trafficking imprisonment.
There’s a whole fetish for kung-fu grip servicing like that. Or so I’ve heard.
Say what you want about Robert Kraft but when he finds good quality service, he isn’t afraid to communicate it to help their business.