Your “It’s World Series Eve!” Monday Night Football Open Thread

What, you thought I was going to reference this bukkakke-ganza of a game in the title? For shame…

Fallout:

-It would seem that Matt Ryan has just a regular old sprained ankle and not the ‘high’ kind. Soon to be not-coach Quinn indicated that he’s already running in a pool (of his own blood?) today.

-Fantasy owners everywhere were given the shaft when David Johnson couldn’t make a go of it yesterday. Chase Edmonds thanked the magical black custodian that believed in him when no one else did, after the game.

-Relatedly, the Cards have invited both Spencer Ware and Jay Ajayi to audition for an rb spot. The written portion consists of “can you carry an oblong ball several yards down the field?” and “did you get the ‘Rudy’ reference in an obscure football blog that was posted just now?”.

-Don’t tell me that Fin’s safety Bobby McCain doesn’t care about his team. He’ll be disciplined soon for spitting in the face of a Bills fan and exchanging words with a 13 year-old after Miami’s loss yesterday. This has clinched it for me-they’re gonna finish 1-15, not 0-16.

-Despite extremely poor qb play of late, the Bears ran the ball all of 7 (SEVEN!) times yesterday. According to reporters present after the game, coach Matt Nagy lifted his head to the sky and yelled, “I’M NOT AN IDIOT!” to the football gods. The lack of response from the gods was deafening.

TO THE GAME!

Pats/Jets:

What’s to say here? I sorta enjoy Booger McFarland’s incredibly *insistent!* announcing. The birds that live in Sam Darnold’s eyebrows sing a melodious tune. Bill Belichick’s favourite food is ‘cupcakes’. C.J. Mosley missed his calling as a private dick in late ’60’s Las Vegas. Yeah, that’s about it.

Type you beautiful mutherfuckers, type.

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Senor Weaselo

Well I got excused from jury duty, so that’s a good thing that happened today.

Horatio Cornblower

Goddammit. Got a trial starting Wednesday; I could use you.

Sharkbait

JURY NULLIFICATION!

Thats a thing right?

Horatio Cornblower

Let’s hope so. It’s not like I know anything about the “rules of evidence”, or “civil procedure”, or “the law”.

Unsurprised

.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I thought that Butt Trumpets’ song was on there.

Fronkenshteen

26

Fronkenshteen

Yes!

hippofant

How has the Jets defense played? I honestly haven’t even paid any psychological attention, because I’m so distracted with how bad the offense is.

hippofant

I mean, I wouldn’t expect them to be good. Greg Williams is all blitz blitz blitz and the Patriots are just gonna block it all up and carve it up with quick passes, and the Jets don’t have the side-to-side linebacker speed or the slot corners to cover the Patriots but… 26 points probably isn’t that bad given your QB’s thrown 4 INTs!

Porky Prime

I’m glad I already won my fantasy week, so I wasn’t forced to hate-watch this ABAHHHTION.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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The Maestro

“For this stunt, we’ve replaced Sam Darnold with Drew Magary, and we’re gonna send him out there to play quarterback for the Jets and see if anyone notices. Hi, I’m Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass!”

Fronkenshteen

I’m not saying Belichick’s son looks like a homeless person, but Scotchy just slit his throat.

King Hippo

grumble grumble ONE LESS GODDAMNED PRESENT I HAVE TO BUY grumble grumble

Brick Meathook

Does Booger get paid by the word?

Horatio Cornblower

The Patriots should just have pizza delivered to their sideline at this point.

Fronkenshteen

I wish your WR got half a catch & half the yardage on DPI in fantasy. The pats are just grabbing Demaryius.

Unsurprised
hippofant

Even all of Calgary is going blue, huh?

HE WANTS TO BUILD YOUR PIPELINE. HE BOUGHT THE WHOLE FUCKING THING. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?

King Hippo

NDP getting fewer seats than the BQ??

hippofant

As one of my friends asked me a few months ago, “What’s even the point of the NDP any more?”

hippofant

Still, BC might change that.

Sharkbait

Is Canadian Politics the same as UK?

Labour (Democrats) red

Conservatives(republicans) blue?

hippofant

More UK than US, since our red are centrists. Our orange are the progressives.

hippofant

Alright, this whole game was worth it for that.

Sharkbait

I wish I could take credit for this
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Unsurprised

Nice.

Unsurprised

Ape being blackballed is fucking unacceptable. This is genius.
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Horatio Cornblower

That is incredible.

Mr. Ayo

Fantastic.

Unsurprised

That’s so dark it got shot in its own apartment by an off-duty Dallas cop

Dunstan

So I’m feeling a little better about the Dolphins’ chances of getting a win out of the Jets.

King Hippo

yeah, I’d feel good about beating the Bills when you play ’em in MIA

Mr. Ayo

Oh no. Hope is the worst thing you can have this season.

King Hippo

So…any update on teh Grits? How late will one have to stay up?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

They dropped this: ‘y’

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I fucking love this joke.

Dunstan

CBC is projecting a Liberal government. No prediction yet as to majority

King Hippo

moose grog FOAR all!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

What?

hippofant

Wow, Liberals are practically sweeping the GTA suburbs. Didn’t think the map looked very red, but that’ll do it.

hippofant

Also Cons practically shut out in Quebec.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You have Grand Theft Auto suburbs?

Unsurprised

It’s less violent but a million times more racist

King Hippo

so like the rural South as opposed to urban South?

hippofant

No, the GTA suburbs are more like… “We only want good colored people, who behave real proper like,” but also, “Why do those colored people only hang out with each other?”

Brick Meathook

After the next Pats TD they should go for two

Viva La Tabula Raza

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King Hippo

I said it before, I shall say it a bunch MOAR – the only good fantasy decision I made was the P*ts D/ST

Sharkbait

Pats fan if they win you money?

King Hippo

of course, is the DFO/non-money league. But I appreciate them raising my standing amongst imaginary ppls!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That makes for a terrible person, but odds are….

King Hippo

my money side has no P*ts (nor Raidahs). They’ll be 1-6 in about an hour.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Best character on that show.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Evening lizard people. Nice of the Jets to make me feel better about the Yankees because hey, I could be one of those poor sods who roots for the J—wait, SHIT.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Petronel

SAFETY DUNCE

Sharkbait
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s pretty fucking funny.

Unsurprised

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Sharkbait

Thank you for that.

Unsurprised

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Wow, refs didn’t bail out the P*ts with a DPI call on that guy covering Edelman.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This will result in letters to the NFL for the injustice.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Prior query – did teh mono make you any less…special??

Brick Meathook

That wasn’t an interception because it wasn’t a play because they snapped the ball five seconds after the play clock hit zero.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

Balls?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s a special order but Realdoll (TM) will take care of it with no extra delivery time.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Even for a Jets fan?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Fucking incels. Well, I guess non-fucking incels.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gatoraids

Grumble grumble who needs the last movie I’ve seen all the Star Wars I need
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Senor Weaselo

-Tom Brady with his rookie backup QB

Horatio Cornblower

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

– Jerry S. PDoC.

Game Time Decision

Was that a herp or a derp?

Unsurprised

There’s only one man associated with both the JEST and the herp:

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Do you have weekend plans yet?

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I wonder what adjustments Adam Gase will order up for the second half?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Lowering the seat height and raising the lumbar support.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

We also would have accepted “a clean pair of drawers”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He seems the type to just turn them inside-out.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Oh hey, the new Watchmen show started yesterday! Will it disappoint horribly? Let’s find out!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

How can it not? Modern teeeveee.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I saw the first Star Wars in theaters when I graduated HS and I guess I just haven’t kept up with the follow-ons over the last few years, but I am only vaguely recognizing any of those people in the Skywalker trailer, except for the Wookie, the robots, and the apparently resurrected Carrie Fisher. Did not see any evidence of Mark Hamill though.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

You’re much better off if you just leave it that way.

That’s the plan…

Spur
Sharkbait

Halftime Charlie Brown it is.

Sharkbait

Still better than the Jets tonight

Brick Meathook

Just turned on some football! And . . . good lord what the fuck is this?

Dick E. Phuck

It’s like walking in on your parents having sex.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not as hot tho.

Game Time Decision

Poor balls having to look that up

Sharkbait

I pity that man’s search history

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

There are several popular sites for this genre…….

BrettFavresColonoscopy

/pops a small tent

–Ted Cruz

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Micro tent.

herodotus450

Fun Fact: The Jets drafted Mike Nugent in the second round. And that’s not even close to their worst draft pick.

Horatio Cornblower

Driving back from a deposition and listening to sprots radio out of NY and Boston and all the DJs saying that this was going to be a close game and I was just laughing my ass off because there was no way Brady and Belichek were going to do anything other than this.

Game Time Decision

Which one you watching?

hippofant

Is Pamela Wallin there? I bet Pamela Wallin’s there. Fricking news anchors who get elected as Conservatives just because they can read words every day on television.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

SEEEEEEEXAY!

Face down, butt up!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

9 pm? That’s a little late for Canada isn’t it? Wild.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes, usually 9 to 11 pm, later on weekends and weddings.

Except for schools which are 7 am to 5 pm.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

My bad; schools are not drive by; I posted regular shooting times.

Thoughts and prayers.

litre_cola

We definitely do not have “sexy” pundits.

Dick E. Phuck

I imagine the conservative pundits are all just the political version of Don Cherry.

Fronkenshteen

What a catch.

Sharkbait

My Sling feed went black. I don’t think it wants to broadcast this game anymore

Game Time Decision

None of us want to watch it. There’s a mercy rule in effect, right?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Nearby:
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“WHAT THE FACK, SULLY?! OWAH TV WENT DAHHKIE AND THE PATS AHH ON?! THIS IS REV-AHSE RACISM!”

herodotus450

Darnold finally has more completions than turnovers!

Game Time Decision

Election coverage vs NFL game. There’s more drama in the results than the game

Sharkbait

How the fuck is there a world championship for beat boxing?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Needed 25 from Bell and Darnold to pull off a win tonight. Darnold having negative points isn’t going to cut it.

hippofant

Don’t worry, there’s always garbage time!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How is that not what we’re in now?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Fetid.

Sharkbait

Think it’s time for last night’s Bob’s Burgers Halloween episode at halftime

Fronkenshteen

This offense might as well be scrawled in the dirt with a stick.

litre_cola
Dick E. Phuck

Dumb question: Is election day a national holiday in Canada?

Game Time Decision

Nope.

Game Time Decision

Polls open 0930 to 2130. By law your employer must give you 3 hours off to vote if your shift conflicts with the voting time

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You can easily die from being hypothermic in three hours. You can also get high as fuck.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The extraction industry should take care of that enthusiasm shortly.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Too bad the track will be washed out from wild fires then intense storms.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I try to stay positive…. for the troops.