(As a Canadian, I should have gone with Joe Carter. But that was a Game 6; tonight is Game 1.)
NFL Nuggets:
- It’s Trading Season!
- Somehow, the Patriots still have enough cap room to acquire Mohamed Sanu from the Falcons.
- For a 2020 second-round pick.
- It highlights the fact that the Falcons already believe the season is over and are now active sellers in the trade market.
- I swear to God, I will spend my remaining years researching the Patriots salary cap to find where Brady hid his off-the-books payments.
- For a 2020 second-round pick.
- The Broncos traded Emmanuel Sanders to the 49ers for a third- and fourth-round pick in 2020.
- The Broncos also
getsent a fifth-round pick. - Apparently, only Von Miller is unavailable, should another GM decide to call John Elway & offer him some fresh oats.
- The Broncos also
- The Lions traded safety Quandre Diggs to the Seahawks.
- Along with a 2021 seventh-round pick to Seattle, in exchange for a 2020 fifth-round pick back to the Lions.
- Given the Seahawks penchant for giving up early deep balls, this makes sense.
- Diggs’ former teammates are quite upset.
- Along with a 2021 seventh-round pick to Seattle, in exchange for a 2020 fifth-round pick back to the Lions.
- Somehow, the Patriots still have enough cap room to acquire Mohamed Sanu from the Falcons.
This one hit me bra😢 https://t.co/coKjDwUrTq
— Darius Slay (@bigplay24slay) October 22, 2019
- The Chiefs have elevated backup QB Kyle Shurmur to the starting roster from the practice squad.
- He is the son of Giants coach Pat Shurmur.
- This ends speculation that they were looking to bring in a third QB for the duration of Mahomes’ injury.
- Sam Darnold says he “saw ghosts” out on the field last night, in what is clearly the most mocked thing to emerge from that Jets debacle.
- Darnold’s nemesis, pictured right working on the Jets new plays, helped him go 0-fer during last night’s game, much like the rest of the Jets’ receivers.
- Naturally, the thing the Jets are most upset about is the fact that ESPN broadcast the comments, and not – y’know – the effort of their QB.
- He added the team will be thinking “really hard” about cooperating with any future requests to have players miked up by networks.
- His teammates were more succinct:
The NFL screwed Sammy over…there’s not one player in the NFL who’s cool with having every sideline convo broadcasted to millions…there’s a reason we’ve never heard other QB’s frustrated on the sideline like that before…that’s crazy, @NFL did Sam dirty as hell https://t.co/2XmYXNTNoL
— Le'Veon Bell (@LeVeonBell) October 22, 2019
Finally, the XFL has released its full schedule, which you can find here.
- The season starts Saturday, February 5th, and concludes Sunday, April 26th with their championship game.
- Unless they fold mid-season, like the AAF.
- Every XFL game in 2020 will be televised by either ABC, ESPN, FOX or FS1.
- As a “valued member” of the CenturyLink “family” – by virtue of my Seahawks season tickets – I have been afforded the “privilege” of early access to XFL tickets for YOUR Seattle Dragons. Here’s what you’re looking at:
- Plus, there’s all these member benefits:
- VIP Field Pass for one Dragons home game (limited time only).
- Season ticket price-lock for the first two seasons.
- Early access to the XFL’s Football Advisory Network: an online community that will give football fans opportunities to share their thoughts, ideas, and feedback, and help the Dragons create its football and fan experience.
- Because if there’s one thing Vince McMahon is known for, it’s listening to the fans.
- 25% discount on merchandise at XFL.com.
- Priority status for playoff tickets and season ticket renewals.
Yeah, I don’t think so. Even if I didn’t think it was going to be dogshit football, because they’re only using the lower bowl, from February through April, it means you’re going to get soaked every game. Three hours drive each way just to get rained on? If I’m going to spend three hours going somewhere to get wet, something something Tijuana donkey show or weed farming with Seamus.
Since Game 1 is tonight, let’s relive one of the greatest finishes to a Game One in recent memory.
Tonight’s sports:
- MLB:
- World Series: Game 1:
- Not Montreal Expos at Houston Astros – 8:00PM | FOX / Sportsnet
- Sportsnet might have “Not Joe Buck” as the announcer, so that’s something.
- Not Montreal Expos at Houston Astros – 8:00PM | FOX / Sportsnet
- World Series: Game 1:
Where can I get one of these shirts? Asking for a friend https://t.co/ZjbYN7vqmA
— Joe Buck (@Buck) October 21, 2019
- NHL:
- Canucks at Red Wings – 7:30PM | Sportsnet360
- Leafs, Jets, Oilers & Flames are all regional coverage only tonight
- NBA: oh yeah – season openers
- Pelicans at Raptors – 8:00PM | TNT / Sportsnet1
- Toronto raises their banner.
- Lakers at Clippers – 10:30PM | TNT / TSN
- The guy who won them that banner plays here now.
- Pelicans at Raptors – 8:00PM | TNT / Sportsnet1
I’ve tried, but I just – say Jay, what’s the phrase?
about basketball. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0aqLwHP4y6Q
Little Eva:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKpVQm41f8Y
Grand Funk Railroad:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxyU4W8iyeI
BAH
In another hour or so I start my 58th trip around the sun.
It would be better with acid.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNLXmZpHn88
Happy Birthday from the other side of LAX!
(it’s already tomorrow over here in Playa)
FUCKING TIME ZONES MAN!
Happy Birthday.
happy birthday
Taubman addressed a group of three female reporters, “including one wearing a purple domestic-violence awareness bracelet” and yelled “half a dozen” times, “Thank God we got Osuna! I’m so fucking glad we got Osuna!”
Ha ha. Suck dirty stump water through a pygmy blowgun, Taubman.
http://www.thegeektwins.com/2014/02/15-interesting-facts-about-slave-leia.html
“I’m the tit check guy.”
So I was invited to a Halloween party this Friday by this British ex-pat couple. I was gonna blow it off but decided to attend, if only to show off the costume idea I came up with, both items ordered off of Amazon this afternoon at happy hour down at my local. I will wear a cheap cardboard mask that looks like this:
And will stain my hands with this:
going as the blood of the Kurds.
I approve of this costume, provided it doesn’t include pants.
I was thinking of wearing the dishdasha I bought when I deployed to Kuwait, as an accessory, as well as a tribute to Jamal Khashoggi, Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, and the Bonesaw guy. No pants required.
That sounds like a lot of work. I like the Elvis glasses because they just slip on and off and you don’t really have to dress up:
And you can look as suave as this guy:
Nah, the dishdasha takes 30 seconds to put on (it’s been my no-effort Halloween costume for over a decade), shouldn’t take more than a couple minutes to stain my hands, and the cheap-ass cardboard mask will be tilted back immediately upon arrival so I can drink. The trickiest thing will be concealing the Colt Model 70 1911 45 cal I will feel obligated to arm myself with in case any of the Trump-felchers with whom I share this exurban sanctuary should take issue with my blatant message.
NICE!
https://www.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/dlq644/highlight_shaqs_take_on_the_china_situation/
https://getpocket.com/explore/item/the-genetic-legacy-of-the-spanish-inquisition?utm_source=pocket-newtab
found a funny:
https://www.newyorker.com/culture/richard-brody/the-demise-of-physical-comedy
weekend reading:
https://kersplebedeb.com/posts/cops-are-gangsters/
They are our very own brownshirts.
I kinda felt a small victory when I made my nephews understand that the police are NOT your friends.
Dude, some of your posts are like the internet equivalent of an out-of-body experience.
Oddly enough I was high as fuck when I first watched that movie.
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Wait, is that shit for real? They are actually going to play a major league baseball game in a fucking cornfield???
yep, I originally thought it was Onion Sports, too
“Yes, but will it get them off their tractors?”
Important question: before or after harvest? If before, I might even watch an inning or two.
I hope a terrorist group bombs THE SHIT out of that “Field of Dreams Game”
How about all of Iowa?
ah mean, if want to be SURE you hit the target…
They’re not even using the field from the movie.
“Motherfuckers….”
—Kevin Costner
Let’s play a fun game and try to guess bow many of these player are currently abusing opioids!
Bro, don’t PILL SHAME!! 😀
Signed,
King Hippo, Michael Jackson, Prince, and Tom Petty.
#DieDoingWhatYaLove
Allow them to start taking PEDs again and maybe it’ll even itself all out.
YES, let’s just have zonked-out freaks of nature again! Can do MMA fights in the off-season.
Who wants to live forever!?!
I bet that’s a WAY MOAR fun crowd in Sudamerica than in Oilville
Damn right.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fAWs9-DcAlw
Lotsa bats tonight, entertaining game so far!
I would like Boca Juniors to DO BETTER, but they’s all like you ain’t my REAL Dad
EDIT: WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pizza Hut ad: “You can’t have football without the Hut.” Kinda clever!
Ayn Randian Omaha Steaks (Omaha Steaks International, 10909 John Galt Boulevard, Omaha, NE) advertising agent: “Let’s get Peyton Manning to do a series of ads with the punchline ‘You can’t have football without the Omaha!'”
What do you think happened the first time a toilet got clogged in Galt’s Gulch? Civil war?
Well the author’s fans are full of shit, so they’re probably used to it.
Nah, they’d probably just dig a hole and shit in it, like those Bundy neanderthals did when they occupied that nature preserve up in Oregon a few years back.
They did that to purposefully fuck with the government and specifically Native American materials at the refuge, just like they purposefully destroyed relics. And they got away with it because Obama is a pussy and the USAO’s office here in Portland is incompetent.
I was nauseated by how the government handled that whole Bundy fiasco, both the original and the sequel. (full disclosure: am federal employee/civil servant/government agent [the last of which sounds coolest)].
they’s just TWO MUCH GUBMENT in thar!!
Now where the fuck is my subsidy check?
cuz ah is #MakerNotTaker
“It’s like starting into the Gates of Hell!”
If the Nationals win the WS, I hope they give the bird to a WH visit.
Youppi! demands tribute to the Prime Minstrel instead
That’d be cool. And likely make our orang-utan-in-chief go berserk.
DFO could be Official Shoe Polish Advisor for this grand event!
Because most of the commentariat here knows shit from Shinola?
Since they were the Expos, a trip to visit President Macron at the Élysée Palace in Paris seems fair.
What the fuck is an EXPO, anyway? Some kind of World”s Fair? What kind of mascot is that?
Hookers with STIs from across the globe
Hulu’s feed of the World Series so far has been shakier than Trent Green’s spoon.
Goddamnit, LCSS, that was a perfect Ryan Leaf / Todd Marinovich joke and YOU BLEW IT.
Just like Ryan Leaf had to in order to score that dime bag.
Traditionally, the blowing is done after you buy the drugs.
Nice try, Todd. I’m not falling for that one again.
Fuck you Sinclair Televison Group and fuck your Full Measure.
Sinclair really giving Vince a run for his money as most soulless promotion owner
Max’s last hitter?
– Max’s friends, debating whether to take the bong away from him
Nationals tied it up,with a dinger, while Joe Buck claims Soto bats clean up and “just cleaned up,” with no one else on base.
The thing is, Joe Buck is very casually racist and was just making a housekeeper joke.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPRkiLhwI6o
ah, that old school Republican White Lady Hair!
STILL fashionable in some bastions south of the Mason-Dixon Line.
Did a 4-man, 3-hitter draft for this game. Grabbed two left handed hitters in Eaton and Álvarez and took Zimmerman with my third pick. Not bad so far, I guess.
Man, that would have been a sweet-ass own goal
I can’t imagine the beisbol is MOAR dull than this scoreless lesser footy.
/huh, I stand corrected
Joe Buck:
“JJ Watt was pumping up the crowd while wearing an Altuve jersey before the game,”
Of course he was.
#nooffdays
#riseandgrind
#brokemybackhumblebragging
I would wish for his brain to fail him mid-game, but he doesn’t even have one.
He makes Gronk seem like a Rhodes Scholar.
I see no comments from the America’s Hat contingent this evening regarding the results of y’all’s election. Reactions at all?
From what I’ve read, the result was exactly in line with polling/expectations.
He won more seats than expected. Most polls put him at between 140-145; by winning 157, it puts him only 13 short of a bare majority so he’s able to pick his battles & allies based on the circumstance.
He doesn’t have the killer instinct of his old man, so he won’t try to play them against each other & then call an election when they are at their weakest. So it will be a milquetoast next two years.
Thanks for the perspective.
I feel like I align MOAR with the NDP, but I very well might have strategically voted Grits.
I hate where I live, it was no doubt what was going to happen year, now all I hear is dumbfucks saying they want to secede. I was unaware that pipelines now floated through the sky over British Columbia to China. I have a bunch of righties in my office who were supremely pissed this morning. I say nothing, I am just so disappointed that nothing will ever change in this province. We had a glimmer 4 years ago provincially but was squashed last year by the return of redneckery. I am happy Trudeau got in, and that he got more seats than predicted. All this minority government means is that we will be going back to the polls in 2 years.
Did the moose or the beaver win?
Just like in America, the beaver never wins.
A. I didn’t think Canada’s pants wanted to relive the topic, given that it was the 12th mention on most network newscasts, given that your current President is such a Russian stooge Reagan is trying to rise from his grave.
2. Trudeau gets two years to do what he basically wants. The minority parties are easily bought off. He will work with the Tories to get the pipeline built, and then work with the NDP to bring in national pharmacare. By ignoring the rampant racism of Bill 21 in Quebec he buys off the BQ, and the Greens don’t count.
III. The dollar went up against the USD, so the markets like it – which is the only barometer that counts these days.
REAGAN SMASH!!!
/yes, it still blows my mind that almost everyone in the goddamned BUSH family voted for HillyBob, but we still got Herr Fuhrer
the start of el match has been delayed by what looks to be a fuckton of 4×6 index cards on the pitch
Speaking of WWE, it seems physically impossible that 2k is puking out a game that appears to have regressed a decade graphically
That autocorrected from putting and I can’t disagree
https://twitter.com/PrinceOfDvaPics/status/1186762071154790401
Ride to Hell in a Cell?
/Someone get Yahtzee to rag on Madden 20
Ah, I see they’re following the “EA Method” now.
I’m getting a pedicure right now! Ha ha fuck you!
Making sure you have that nice gap so she look right up your leg? I like your style.
Thoughtful of them to provide a fan for your balls
Ugh, that’s so creepy sez the Hippo who gets his eyebrows waxed
Back alley colonoscopies are the scourge of men’s health.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCgMl1bRnk0
If that Joe Buck tweet is legit, then I must admit I have an electron or two more respect for him for at least being able to laugh at himself and have a little self-awareness. He still sucks though.
I’m sure it is – he’s lightened up considerably over the years. He’s still a terrible broadcaster, but doesn’t seem to be as much of a terrible human being as I originally thought he was.
wasn’t there something about how he loved the Brockmire bit?
It’s from his page. I double checked to make sure.
Like Rikki said – he’s gotten better with the jibes.
AEW Dark is such a good idea that I can’t figure out why WWE didn’t do it first. Take all your shit you couldn’t fit on your show, throw it on YouTube, and build some good faith with your fanbase. It’s basically the same production method they used for 205 Live but without the pretentiousness and network subscription. Looking forward to little ass Darby Allin becoming a household name. This mother fucker let a guy put him in a body bag and throw him out of the ring. Just a fucking terrible idea.
Don’t they have a whole network to throw that onto?I can’t read.They don’t put dark matches (matches put on before or after the TV taping) on there and you’d still have to pay for it. Unless you’re talking about TNT which to my knowledge is dead air outside of NBA games, then probably.
TRUE HIPPO FACT! I fell asleep on my couch right as Kirk Gibson came out of the dugout, though my mind registered same as an interesting thingamabob. Woke up during the late local news, and even they were talking about it.
/also will mostly be watching BeIn, as I have moneys on Boca Juniors against River Plate.
//there will also be less comerciales
“Fell asleep”.
hey, that was pre-nods era! 😀
Oh, they’ll be rioting in Buenos Aires!
That MRA dickhead from Houston made it really, really easy for me to pick who I’m rooting for in this World Series.
Which one?
https://deadspin.com/report-astros-assistant-gm-yelled-thank-god-we-got-os-1839243880
Astros Drop Failed Smear Campaign Against Sports Illustrated, MLB Picks It Up
https://deadspin.com/astros-drop-failed-smear-campaign-against-sports-illust-1839269728
Yeah. I’ve pulled for the Stros since I moved to South Texas in 1976, they were my NL team because as a native-born Masshole of course the Red Sox were my AL team. But then they got moved to direct competition with the Sox (fuck you Rangers), so I would not be able to cheer them each season until one or the other of them was out of contention.
But the bullshit with that asshole was a bridge too far. Go Nats.
As a Canadian, I cannot in good conscience root for the not-Expos.
We should have a BOLTMAN!/Youppi! buddy comedy series
With Gritty as the Scrappy-Doo of the series.
Big Daddy Drew has lost his fucking mind.
Well, it did try to shut itself off last December…
Stockholm Syndrome.
Seahawks absolutely stole Diggs from Detroit.
Fuck.
As a long time guy doing printing for a living,this sucks
Just use Comic Sans for everything you print. Even if it’s the Bible.
Donks gave them a 5th and Sanders for the 3rd and 4th.
Oops.
If you didn’t edit “get” for “gave” my psychotic delusions are as expected.
So I’m curious to see what happens with the Lakers/Clippers game – someone raised $43k to hand out pro Hong Kong shirts.
They made Donald Sterling sell the Clippers because he called Magic Johnson the n-word.
Adam Silver will burn down the fucking Staples Center with everyone in it.
Guarantee no shots of fans in the stands.
A “Joe Buck Sucks” t shirt would be a much less boring broadcaster than Joe Buck.
Darnold already has CTE?
mild-to-moderate retardation (aka “Touch of Downs”)
As a 14 year old in Southern California, I recorded the entirety of the 1988 World Series and re-watched Gibson’s home run enough to wear out the tape. Little did I know this would become a Brownsian torture as the Dodgers have continued to fail, often spectacularly, over the subsequent 31 years.
The Dodgers show the goddamn homerun ALL THE TIME. I believe it’s on the Diamondvision board before every single home game. And of course, when they make the playoffs, they play it for a national audience, usually 4 to 7 games before LA’s season blows up.
Edit: it’s still the greatest positive sports moment I’ve ever seen in my lifetime and of course the Dodgers should be proud of it. It’s a top ten baseball moment. (The greatest negative moment for me would be when the Eagles stripped Brady a couple years back.)
Hell I remember watching it probably once per Tigers game on tv, possibly just because Gibson once played for Detroit.