Of course it was all over the local papers and even made the regional news broadcast. When things go right there’s never much fuss because there are no witnesses, or the family are out-of-towners (if there are any) or the body is discovered much later. A corpse isn’t news-worthy. But you know what is? A good samaritan happening upon a crime taking place. There’s a face to interview, some splash to be made, clicks to acquire, and so on. There was no connection made to other happenings in town because that would have required effort on behalf of journalists and members of the police force. To be fair, they’re all townies that don’t have the skills to dig deeper. I mean, if they did they sure wouldn’t be here.
So Chet made it, just barely. My failure is lying there in Intensive Care, hooked up to all kinds of bells and whistles. There’s most likely a huge piece of gauze wrapped around his throat too. One reporter said that he wasn’t able to talk, which was good. And said samaritan gave the dodgiest of descriptions. He only saw one side of my face but described my clothes well. So I drove down some backwoods road with the items in a bag, set it on fire and then buried it.
I then took a bit of time and reviewed my situation. They’ll be interviewing all Chet’s buddies at the bar and most likely the bartender as well. I’m confident that none of his friends would have noticed me as I recall it was the bartender that delivered their drinks to them. She’s going to be a problem. Damn. As for Chet, I can’t get at him in ICU because it’s an isolated area and even if I could he’d be hooked up to a heart monitor while he’s in a dicey state and if something occurred someone would come running. I’m going to have to wait this one out for a bit…
Five days had passed and the rumour around town was that old Chet was in a regular room. It’s time to give him a visit.
I’d been to this hospital over the years-asthma attacks, a fractured thumb, a gashed arm-so I knew a bit how it was laid out.There were only five floors and each wing had a small little waiting area for friends and family that were visiting patients. Thing is, I didn’t know where Chet was and of course I couldn’t ask. So I set up shop in the lobby of the second floor and listened for idle chatter. Nothing. I left after an hour. Next day I set up on the third floor and did the same. Nothing again. Not good-that bartender’s description was going to come out soon.
The third day I camped out on the fourth floor and waited. I was only going to give it 45 minutes or so because I knew I was pushing my luck. About a half hour in, two broken-down sorts ambled by, looking lost. My interest was piqued. They wandered over to the nurse’s station and I heard the word ‘Chet”. Yes!
I followed them back down to the second floor and saw them go into a room. I hurried to the men’s washroom and holed up in one of the stalls. I took out a book I’d been reading-it was Mailer’s The Naked and The Dead, don’t know why I picked that one, I guess I just liked the title-and set my phone timer for 45 minutes.
After time was up I made my way to the room and peered around the door frame. No visitors and no other patients. My time was now. I walked towards Chet’s bed, his eyes went wide when he saw me and he started fumbling for the the buzzer by his bedside. Shit! I couldn’t get to him in time and froze. Shit! He pressed it a whole bunch of times. Fuck. I had to think fast. Walking quickly towards the nurse’s station my brain was screaming, “THINK, THINK”. A thickset woman about 45 minutes was sighing and getting out of her seat.
-Uh, my buddy Chet rang for you. I think he just wants a pillow. Do you have one available? I’ll save you a trip.
-Yah, there’s one just over in the closet over here
My heart was pounding out through my chest. I could feel beads of sweat on my forehead…
-Here’s the pillow. Hey, you don’t look so good…
I cleared my throat.
-Uh, yeah. I, uh, hate hospitals. A lot. Something about that antiseptic smell gets to me. But I had to visit my buddy.
-Yeah, you’re not the first. And could you get Chet to lay off the buzzer? Pretty annoying…
-Sure, sure. I’ll see that he doesn’t bother you anymore.
Chet was trying to desperately get out of his bed and struggling badly in his weakened state. The buzzer had fallen to the floor and I pushed him back down onto the bed. As the pillow went over his face he struggled a bit but not much. He was an old man that had suffered a significant injury so it didn’t take long. After it was over I put the extra pillow behind his head all nice like.
I’m hoping there’s a 50/50 chance that medical staff will attribute Chet’s demise to his heart giving out but who knows? That nurse saw me plain as day and the thought of having to kill a woman makes me sick to my stomach…
TO THE GAME!
Packers/Niners:
It was reported that Kittle would give it a go tonight so it may only be Breida, Samuel and Sanders that are out. Green Bay is very generous in the run game so Tevin should get his but if he doesn’t Jimmy G has proven that he can fling it these past few weeks. I think that this one will be a close one.
Night night!
I’m going to actually try and make the dessert I take for Thanksgiving (and pick up a pumpkin pie for tradition)
Professor Poopybutthole!
With sound: https://giant.gfycat.com/ElatedElaborateBarebirdbat.mp4
All the throwbacks to Bill Walsh Remind me of this gem:
https://youtu.be/L04IzJFJhpM?t=25
Oh dear lord, they’re showing a turkey farm. Why an I still watching this?
Fun fact, I can draw blood from any turkey. You show me a turkey, I’ll get you a sample.
Hogs too. Though hogs often get pissed. And can hurt ya.
So… you’re saying you can make turkeys and pigs heroin addicts?
But what about hippos?
Never tried a hippo. Not sure I’d want to.
Did an elephant once.
Wait, let me rephrase that.
Hippos kill more people than any other animal in Africa
Screw them. Let ’em find their own drugs. I don’t have enough as it is.
To remind people that there is a bigger slaughter than this game going on
Stupid Turkeys! Get in mah belly
.
https://twitter.com/Super70sSports/status/1198813458520846336
íBuenos tacos amigos!
More importantly, who needs a three pound tub of frozen taco filler?
Taco Bell?
HOOLLLLLYYYYY SHIT
Back from Foxboro, where the Patriots did their best to be gracious hosts, but the Cowboys simply would not win. More later, as I am too tired to even grab that bedtime beer we all crave, but I leave you with one question: Why, in the name of all that is holy, would you insist on the suite windows being open during the game when it is wet, cold and windy out? Isn’t the whole point of having a suite to bask in your superiority over the cold and miserable masses huddled below?
Yes!!!!!
Screw the peasants, let’s stay warm.
Did Kraft show up in the box? Did you punch him in the dick?
If he did, he’s be buried under Foxboro
Yes, but he’d die a true American hero!
Exactly. You keep that shit closed.
Lawl 122 yds perfect passer rating. I am the perfect man that is 5’2
Now Thats What I Call Football music cd soundtrack tonights game. Wouldn’t pay for this game like I’ll never pay for my Columbia house cds
That play had no chance, but, Mike McCarthy would have punted.
Green Bay getting more bailouts than the auto industry
This from the Patriots fan.
Dey Turk our bailouts
Stopped clock
I…well…damnit.
Hello again, Bail Out Flag.
Jesus Christ, I’m sick of this game and it’s not even the 4th quarter. And I’m out of weed. Fuck.
Such has been my life since June.
*sigh*
Lol at running the reverse leak out of the PA TE leak play that the Packers finally figured out.
Reminds me of the fake RPO pass the Cardinals ran last week.
That compensates for the bailout flag nicely.
Should show Bill Bellicheck coaching wildfire
That commercial for VR looked like the training exercises from Ender’s Game.
Alan Greenspan thinks that call was too much of a bailout
Green Bay. Sponsored by: Goldman Sachs.
So,all season long, the Packers have been a .500 team that have been gifted a bunch of wins by the refs. Is this a different refereeing crew for them?
Genuinely curious
Bailout flag in 3…2…1…
There you go.
Does that guy from Winnipeg get pants back now?
“I rather not wear pants”
That Peg guy tomorrow infront of the media
Is balls still doing searches? “Peg Guy”
Christ almighty, football is about the only network TV I watch in a week, and every damn show advertised is cops or lawyers. Am I just miss-remembering, or did there used to be other kinds of shows? Besides sitcoms?
Nope. That’s pretty much it.
Have they done an ICE show to lionize them yet? I feel like there’s gotta be one in the works.
It’ll air after Last Man Standing
Even Hollywood couldn’t make that believable.
My theory is that once Warner Brothers decides to fully emulate Marvel’s shitty movie making formula, we’ll get a Jaime Reyes Blue Beetle where he teams up with an Ice worker, which is reminiscent of Black Panther’s shitty politics
If it were at all plausible, Fox would have done it already.
You forgot to mention that you saw commercials for shows about our troops, you treacherous person, you. #thankyouGodbless
Sorry, the division between cops and troops has become a bit blurry, I deeply apologize.
and the funny thing is…few professions are as dull as the (actual) practice of law. Accountants have more fun.
Reality TV killed the Cable channels.
Back in my day there were three Law and Orders and three CSI’s, how many they up to now?
All the CSIs became NCISes
Medical shows?
Yeah I remembered House when I hit enter. Man, what happened to shows like the Twilight Zone, Star Trek, or… NvM they all moved to streaming services or cable.
They got rebooted.
The Blue bombers finally win the Grey Cup after 29 long years. I’m happy for them. I wasn’t much older than Toddlerzilla when they last won the Grey Cup.
So, will the refs be calling Royal Samplers penalties against the 49ers to get the Pack in the game, or, is the game over?
Game. Over.
oh yeah, drafting is done, teevee is off. Left to contemplate my own existence.
Remember, when there are no choices that can make you happy, Socrates vodka, it kills what ills ya.
chuh chuh!
OK, house is empty finally. I sit down to see what’s happening in the world of Fitbaw and….
Niners been that good, or Packers been that bad?
I am so happy that my family wants to see me as much as I want to see them. Not at all.
-Aaron Rodgers
“HAMILTON TIGER-CATS 2019 CFL CHAMPIONS “ T-shirts are now being distributed to homeless shelters in the United States.
On this week’s episode of Watchmen: “If you thought we were being unsubtle with the racism message before…”
Lot less Viagra needed in DC because of this…
So kinda like crack, when Marion Barry died?
BITCH SET ME UP!!
Rodgers has that “take me to the nearest bathhouse” look.
nah, he just needs a good massage. And some pussy ,, obvs.
Not like he can go home to be with his family.
There’s gonna be some full wolves in Winnipeg tonight!
https://what-if.xkcd.com/155/
Somewhere Mike McCarthy is jabbing pins in a Rogers doll
that would require him to put down the tub of iced cream, tho
Jesus Christ, Al. I’m trying to cut back on the Rodgers jokes. That would be funny even if it wasn’t Rodgers on the other end.
Dude is taking a pounding. Credit to him for continuing to get up.
Bosa hit Rodgers so hard, his mother remembered she had a second son.
Bosa or Rodgers?
That joke goes both ways
I see what you did there, but I’m not falling for your trap, you master baiter.
Rodgers greatest influence wasn’t Staubach but Lizzie Bordin
Rodger is disgusted of Jimmy G’s family life
Deebo’d!
je approve!
SF ripping those seams like a fat guy in knockoff Levi’s.
The Winnipeg coach just got a Gatorade bath in sub-freezing weather.
That’s how they killed George Allen.
And good riddance to him! Now if we could only do something about his son…
The kid’s a douche but what do you have against George Allen the coach?
Nixon lover
So? It’s a free country. You want him dead for that?
The last coach to integrate, and then only grudgingly
Bullshit. George Preston Marshall was the owner who was the last to integrate. Allen would play anybody who would win, legally or not.
You are correct, I had the wrong Redacteds coach named George! My apologies to his estate.
/but still, fuck his corpse
Bombers win! Hooray, last time they did I was 14!
Any halftime suicide suggestions? I don’t like the idea of Monday, and this game annoys me.
No suicide for you until Hippo Thoughts are ready to post.
it’s in the hopper, except for this shitshow
Well, it looks like you’re hanging around for a while, David Carradine.
Socrates brand hemlock infused vodka.