Thank goodness they staggered the two games on offer, huh? And the featured game is between two teams that the majority of football fans would like to have fired into the sun. But let’s think about that for a second. Why would we do that to the good old sun? It was your fault you got burned that day-you forgot to re-apply the sunscreen. And the sun is a job creator. It was the one that originally determined when the tides came in. It gave that task to the moon as soon as it graduated from college. Now look at how the moon is thriving! The sun is a good friend.
TO THE GAMES!
Jags/Titans:
Poor Jacksonville is gonna get bulldozed as though it were a shantytown somewhere in Africa. The head bulldozer goes by the name of Derrick Henry and he has some experience. The Jags give up the most yards per rush in the league and allowed two rb’s (Williams and Mack) to gain 100+ against them last time out. This one is gonna hurt.
Cowboys/Pats:
One has to wonder how New England is going to score, what with both Sanu and Dorsett both out and the running game being the shambles that it is. Even if wonky-kneed Cooper is ineffective Dallas still has Gallup and Zeke and DAK! out there making plays. I just get the feeling that the Pats are going to be exposed today as GrumbleLord begs everyone to not look behind the curtain.
There ya go. Make some words.
There we go.
One hell of a phantom call there on the Cowboys.
That was a bullshit call, mos def.
I’m going to hate watch titans and jaguars just to spite the nfl
Too cold and wet for Garrett to clap. This is good.
Pollard is a really good player
That Kay Santa was too sexy. They must be spending a lot on the Hallmark network this season.
ok Dak
Yeah baby, dream sack
Brady avoiding the traveling call
Gotta give him credit for keeping his pivot foot.
LET’S GO NON-GENDERED COWPERSONS
/yes, despite Spur
in spite of Spur?
Whose off tomorrow or the rest of the week?
My career is ded, does that count??
The Good Doctor is going to hold hands with a female! #mustwatchtv
Good job on getting your daughter started early on the road to obesity, diabetes, and Bear Fandom, ice-cream-cone buying Bears Fan Mom.
Hey……………….
remembers bears fan grandpa is now missing a leg
.. that’s accurate
Jaguras D does a good! What can Foles do with this?
We’ll get to hear los of Dan Fouts, too. KILL ME NOW
Ah, I like Fouts. He sounds like the kind of guy who’ll hold the steering wheel while you do your line.
He sounds kinda like a bit of a meathead, but one who wouldn’t drive you away from the bar. Also, I liked him back when he was active duty with Bolts.
Good afternoon Shanklor.
DOINK!
DOINK!
BONNNGGGGGG
DOINK
Running Dak. good. that will pay off later
We achieved #MaximumTractorcito on that 3rd y uno
Weather here looks nicer than in Boston.
72 and sunny here in South Texas, like very much.
This Tanner Hill guy on the Tits…seems cromulent, when did he enter the league?
I’ve always hated these Cowboy uniforms with the blue sleeves.
“Your specific hate confuses us. We prefer general hate. That said, please continue hating.”
-Republicans
Get it Zeke. I dont care if your legs fall off today. RUN HARD
(Dallas has Pollard as a backup)
BS call on Pats? that’s going to haunt the Boys later today.
Is there any chance this misty rainy stuff in Foxboro might turn to snow? I would be much moar interested.
A hard, driving sleet would be much moar painful for all participants
That would be totally acceptable.
Let me know when it starts raining fire, I’ll sit right up and pay more attention.
YES! TWO GAME LEAD FOR THE #1 SEED!
Draft position?
Writing an erotic fan fiction about the bud platinum knight cucking out on the hot queen. They really connected that night when the king went to the wrong tower. PM me if you know any publishers.
Jeff E.
c/o William Barr
Rikers Island
New York, NY
10027
Burn after reading
/deploys smoke grenade at own feet
//runs blindly into door jamb
///passes out
http://Www.doorfliesopen.com
Always taking reader submissions!
I don’t get to hatewatch Cowboys-Patriots?!
EDIT: Nevermind. Wrong network.
I’ll keep you updated
Time to break Brady’s collarbone
I can get behind this.
Would 4 SB wins in 5 years be the new record? We can’t risk that sort of reality.
Whoops, 4 in 6 years. Forgot about Denver-Carolina because my brain loves me enough to protect me from it
Stillers did 4 in 6 back in the ’70s. But thank God for Denver-Carolina and Cam refusing to dive on a loose ball.
Erin Andrews is wearing a burka
inshallah!
Bold choice in Boston.
Let’s do this.
Some darkest timeline redzone incoming
just AFC South + P*ts!
Coupe Grey as well mes amis.
Is that available on a satellite channel? I don’t see it on CBSSN or NBCSN or FS1.
Espn2 apparently
Oh, it’s on later, thought it was on now…
BLEERGH almost declared holy war on SHANK’LOR.
Flagarooo?
BLEERGH gives Payton a stroke?
slye’d right
Need a high-scoring Jaguras/Tits match. I am sooooooo fucked.
I’m gonna
Seems to work.
That’s game
Two types of teams give the Pats issues
Running QBs . Lamar, Russ, Mahomes, Kap, Cam, Allen, even punkass Rodgers. Kellen Moore has to have designed runs . Just the threat Dak might run will help
No huddle offense. Dont let the Pats bring in fresh players. Donks, Jags (16-17), Steelers, and the Nacho Led Jets did it. the game is 6-3 at half but the Pats D is exhausted by the 4th quarter. A TD led wins it.
Dallas hasn’t beaten any teams that deserve to be in the NFL yet, so I see no reason to expect that to change now
Was that a pitch where the RB wasn’t looking for it? Goddamn what the fuck
Weren’t the Lions like 3-1-1? Goddamn
found a funny:
I love every little thing about my wife. I love her velvety shell, her nougaty middle, her caramel/peanut layer…
Wait, that’s Snickers. I love Snickers.
N’Keal Harry ftw
Now, what movie should I watch instead of this bullshit?
Yea Tractorcito wooo!
/already buzzed
//still on 1st drink