Did you squeak in? Did you get a bye? Tell us how it all went right/wrong down below. Me? I’ve got a bye in one money league and will get blown out in another unless my Fitzmagik/Parker stack comes thru in a big way.
TO THE GAMES!
Panthers/Falcons:
Atlanta’s O-line wasn’t very good to begin with (where have you gone, Devonta?) but now the threads are beginning to unravel. Even though Ryan gets the ball out quickly on average, he’s been put on his butt 15 times the last two games.
Ravens/Bills:
Lamar!’s outstanding play has papered over a wr unit that is pure fyre and not in the good way that the kids say. Do the kids still say that? Today they face a cb White (not a white cb, that would be ridiculous) that has not allowed a TD on 72 targets.
Bengals/Browns:
When was the last time this game mattered to both teams? The early 80’s? I’m glad not to have to lean on either Chubb or Mixon going forward. Dalton’s return to starter status means the ball will be in the air more (John Ross is back) and KHunt’s 43 touches have resulted in a missed tackle 23 times. Kareem is playing at a very high level.
Potato Skins/Packers:
After showing out last week, Washington might just have something in injury-free Guice. Add to that Haskins playing competently (tho he didn’t toss a 6 spot) and McLarin’s early season success-they just might be set up at the skill positions.
Lions/Vikes:
Cousins got off to a very bad start in the early weeks of the season, according to Thielin and Diggs but that run-heavy approach has paid back some delightful dividends now. The threat of Cook/Mattison getting the ball has resulted in Captain Kirk having the highest play-action efficiency rating in the league.
Niners/Saints:
You think this Kittle guy works on his game? Last year the only knock on him was that he had the 3rd-most drops-this year he hasn’t had a single one. As for the running game, good luck picking which fella will come to the fore this week. (I tried to work in a Cerberus joke but brain won’t let me)
Fins/Jets:
New Yawk has the fifth-most inviting secondary in fantasy so that’s why I’m heaving a prayer towards the Fitz/Parker combo. If you’re streaming te’s take a look at Mike Gesicki-he’s 5th in targets the last two weeks and has scored in both games. Rb Bell is out with an illness-my guess is he’s sick and tired of having 3.2 yards per carry.
Colts/Bucs:
Coach of the year has to go to Reich, right? He dealt with the Hodor retirement ambush, changed the O to suit Brissett and has weathered injuries to every one of his skill guys. And his team is still sniffing at a wild card spot. Well done.
Broncos/Texans:
Houston is riding high after last week’s W over the Pats. Now comes the fall? Or do they roll? Courtland Sutton owners are praying that rook qb Drew Lock can keep the fantasy points flowing.
Give it to me!
Too cute!
Bloomberg commercial. Welp, NOW I’m convinced that what this country needs is an elderly white New York billionaire who’s been accused of sexual assault to come in and “run the country like a business.”
You get one with his awkward school yearbook pic yet? Somebody studied that, and said FUCK YES, greenlight that muthafucka!!
Robert Kraft really likes this comment. Like, a lot.
So outsource everything possible, keep on chasing trends LATE and do one’s damnedest to pay as little taxes as humanly possible?
Btw, I’m not saying that’s wrong per se, because I work for one of those lovely tech behemoths that like Ireland for its people, tax loopholes and uhhh….. our lovely accents?
Ireland is one of like 5 developed countries with a lower overall tax income than America, so this tracks
Oh, I bet a lot of countries have a lower corporate tax rate than the US, but few could match the Irish effective rate of under 2.5% for “strategic” partners 😀
Again, seriously…this kind of crap seals the deal for Sen. Warren. And if it does so for me, it will do so for most party loyalists/former Kamala Harris supporters like me.
I’m pretty sad by Warren totally backpedalling on schools
She’s going to push harder to center now to try to cut off Biden and Mayor pete while betting she won’t shed enough support to Sanders, though most leftist progressives already moved away from her when she started tempering her M4A plan. She won’t lose enough to matter, though. She’s been saying some dumb shit lately, but as long as Biden is in the race, she would have to become incredibly stupid for it to even pop up on the average voter’s radar.
yes, this is her path to the nomination. She keeps enough of the ‘left activist” block, while cleaning up the “soft Biden” and uncommitted voters.
She would still be a very left executive – just a COMPETENT and pragmatic campaigner
Shit, I just turned DFO into political Twitter, didn’t I? I am so sorry.
You mean outside from the fact that Warren’s not exactly palatable to the normal person with her rhetoric and basically Hillary 2.0, but now with 0/64th Honest Injun blood? And that’s BEFORE she basically ensured that the tech (and big business in general) would back Joe Biden, ’cause he’s the only one not basically calling for a jihad on them (from their POV)? 😀
I’m sorry lads, but the only real candidate I could get behind is Tulsi. Yes, her politics are iffy, but ask yourselves – what other candidate isn’t a horrible retread AND/OR would look great in a bikini?!
FLAGGED
After a quick google image search, both Gene Skeletor and my wife agree with my assessment 😀
She’s basically an Island Moonie
When the alternatives are can’t win leftish retreads of Bernie Sanders and Liz Warren? Or the lovely scandal of the week Biden? Or Bloomberg’s out of touch rich white out-of-touch vanity run? Or Julian Castro, who I’m yet to see a photo of that doesn’t scream “Repeat Sex Offender” or “Marc Trestmann’s Weirder Chicano Cousin?” … Yeah… When all options are of the turd variety, you might as well pick one that looks good nekkid
For the record, I’m just yankin’ y’all’s chains… I just wanted to make the only candidate good in a bikini joke 😀 … That said, from an outsider’s perspective – it doesn’t matter who the Dems pick, as long as it’s Biden, ’cause all the others are deeply flawed candidates that would give “the current guy” a realistic shot of a second mandate. Not saying Biden’s perfect (not at all in fact), but he’s the one least likely to actively push people into not voting or into the waiting doomed clutches of the next Jill Stein
Dibs on the fantasy name
REGIME CHANGE WAR
Jameis is top 3 most entertaining qbs in the league. You never know what is going to happen!
I want to see him and Brokeback play one another. A comedy of bananacakes.
MOAR FIN FIELDGOALZ
How to make the Terlet Bowl finals – on my bench are Michael Gallup, Drew Lock, Noah Fant.
Mostert and onions are good on a hot dog
Especially grilled onions.
How ’bout some mayo too?
/me ducks behind cover
YEEEEWWWWWW MONSTER
Admit it – you’d love to see that happen? Even if just so you could bet on the over/under on burnt effigies and suicides in the Potomac 😀
Whoops, mistook that as a reply to my “Just Imagine James Dolan buying the Redacteds”
found the European
Actually, no. I just remembered my first trip to Fenway where a friend of mine politely explained what I’m allowed to get on my ‘dog and EXPLICITLY being told that asking for Mayo will get me hanged on the Green Monster 😀
BRB about to cause a multi car pileup on I-95 north in Rhode island
I would totally watch a version of ‘A Christmas Carol’ where the ghosts of QBs past, present and future visit Dan Snyder, and it ends with him waking up and giving the team to Tiny Tim
All the ghosts are the cenobites from Hellraiser
*Tiny Darren
“I’d give my LCL, ACL and meniscus to see that happen. Oh shit! Right…”
-RG3
Except that with DC’s luck (and Karma!), he’d just sell the team to Jimmy Dolan XD
D-O-N-K-S!!!!
Good lovin’-they talk about Danny Dimes’ lack of pocket awareness!
These here Tomsulas are funner than hayellll
LOLRON
A.A. Ron – so clutch, converting 4th downs, pulling trim
Quadbox REDZONE!
That was beautiful, did dude used to play receiver?
Lovely effort by Rapey Jameis “trying” to stop the pick 6
Devante Parker in concussion protocol. Nice.
Does he have 6.9 fantasy points or sommet??
#notnice
I pride myself on being An Asshole FOAR All Seasons!
Everyone can pile on. It’s a party!
Adrian Peterson is doing amazing things. If he wasn’t playing in Washington or a decent human, this year would get more press.
I’d only Peterson could switch teams like he could switch his kids nuts saxk
Brokeback DED??
Nah, he just won’t be able to wear heels for a couple weeks
so…might as well b ded ,, smgdh
freak shoulder pad change accident
Reddit AMA questions for Rodgers
Ever get any mud on the helmet?
Why is there only one game on in the LA market and why is that game BAL-BUF?
That’s what happens when you live in a major media market without its own team
I’m guessing they were contractually obligated to show an AFC game. Slim pickings for the early games, Cincy and Cleveland?
GarapoYOLO
The 49ers-Saints game is bananacakes
No, his name is Eli Apple.
Is Guice made of pipe cleaners and duct tape. Dude is always getting hurt
Most football players are made of pipe cleaners and duct tape. Guice uses the off-brand Duck Tape
It’s all the Redacted’s medical department can afford
So, surplus Detroit Public School pipe cleaners and Dollar Store brand duct tape.
Pretty much. The reason they missed Trent Williams’ cancer for so long is because they were using something called a ‘cancer detector’ which was just an old metal detector without batteries
A golem made of trees Snyder cut down
Everyone else probably already knows, but I just learned this weekend that tailgating will not be allowed at the Vegas Raiders stadium
They want the party to stay in the local bars?
They’ll have an open area where you can hang out before the game, but no outside food or drink. So yeah, basically
Did not know but isn’t the whole place a tailgate party 24/7
The Vegas Escorts Union is not giving up prime real estate like that without a fight
you dont want to be outside in Vegas until November
Announcer says ‘the Bills finally found something that’s working’. THEY HADN’T TRIED IT BEFORE. GODDANMIT!!!
So strange how good things happen when the ball is in Singletary’s hands…
He does this weird thing where he makes defenders miss. On. A. Regular. Fucking. Basis.
Wow. The Browns are out bungaling the Bengals.
Fitz in the redzone again…
Shouldn’t Fox just switch to a more competitive game immediately after the opening kick of a ‘Dacteds game?
People who have fantasy players on the Packers probably want to watch
Looks like everything Houston brought to the table against the Pats last week, they have left in the locker room this week.
Back from Vegas in time to catch most of the morning games, woo!
LAMAR!
I’m pretty happy he went to a team that won’t immediately murder him
Donks found a QB. Did the Horseface finally get lead to water and drank it?
Don’t worry, Elway will find a way to ruin/kill him too… After all, there can only be one beloved QB in Denver
There can only be oooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeee
Whoa. McDermott gonna McMurder someone.
Mike Evans ded?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrCOmvHEns8
Is Garropolo still banging the porn star, or did the Shield make her disappear?
YAAAAASSSSSSSS, MIDTYLLAND
Getting murdered in all 3 of my matchups. Was a good year, but fuck me what a bad week to implode.
Holy Shitballs-I got the Olabisi Johnson call correct.
/actually, I was just calling attention to something I saw
2 late, ur THE ONE!!!!!1111
Just hand off to Singletary. The Bills are making this too difficult.
That is literally the team motto
So, from a Pats-hating viewpoint, what should I be cheering for? The Ravens, to fuck with the Pats’ chances at home field, or the Bills, on the slim chance they can take the division title and put the Pats on the road for wild card weekend?
I’m thinking Ravens. You can’t count on the Bills for competence. Ravens are hateable but occasionally good.
Never trust the Bills.
Eh, might as well go with the Bills – they’re a likeable lot, their fans are awesome and Josh Allen’s one hell of a Manchurian QB 😉
Dear The Bills,
Don’t do this if you’re not going to win the division.
Signed,
Everyone
Whew! Robby Anderson came thru!
Sadly enough have him starting in two fantasy playoffs in desperation
Update – nope, no misfires… So I guess this can go back in the BMP-1 … Wooohooo
You need someone to overthrow a receiver with a mere flick of the wrist, then Josh Allen is your man.
/gotta love Bills OC shaking his head
Aw.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/tv/news/caroll-spinney-big-birds-alter-ego-on-sesame-street-is-dead-at-85/ar-BBXWsxl
And aren’t they doing the 50th anniversary special tonight too? Everyone is sad now.
He lived up in my neck of the woods and apparently kept to himself, which explains why he always called the cops when I’d hide in his garbage cans and jump out yelling “I’M OSCAR” at the top of my lungs.
Anyway, RIP Mr. Spinney
goddamnit, Midtylland
This is gonna be doubly bullshit when they overturn the catch