Your “It’s The Playoffs For You And Me” Sunday NFL Football Open Thread

Did you squeak in? Did you get a bye? Tell us how it all went right/wrong down below. Me? I’ve got a bye in one money league and will get blown out in another unless my Fitzmagik/Parker stack comes thru in a big way.

TO THE GAMES!

Panthers/Falcons:

Atlanta’s O-line wasn’t very good to begin with (where have you gone, Devonta?) but now the threads are beginning to unravel. Even though Ryan gets the ball out quickly on average, he’s been put on his butt 15 times the last two games.

Ravens/Bills:

Lamar!’s outstanding play has papered over a wr unit that is pure fyre and not in the good way that the kids say. Do the kids still say that? Today they face a cb White (not a white cb, that would be ridiculous) that has not allowed a TD on 72 targets.

Bengals/Browns:

When was the last time this game mattered to both teams? The early 80’s? I’m glad not to have to lean on either Chubb or Mixon going forward. Dalton’s return to starter status means the ball will be in the air more (John Ross is back) and KHunt’s 43 touches have resulted in a missed tackle 23 times. Kareem is playing at a very high level.

Potato Skins/Packers:

After showing out last week, Washington might just have something in injury-free Guice. Add to that Haskins playing competently (tho he didn’t toss a 6 spot) and McLarin’s early season success-they just might be set up at the skill positions.

Lions/Vikes:

Cousins got off to a very bad start in the early weeks of the season, according to Thielin and Diggs but that run-heavy approach has paid back some delightful dividends now. The threat of Cook/Mattison getting the ball has resulted in Captain Kirk having the highest play-action efficiency rating in the league.

Niners/Saints:

You think this Kittle guy works on his game? Last year the only knock on him was that he had the 3rd-most drops-this year he hasn’t had a single one. As for the running game, good luck picking which fella will come to the fore this week. (I tried to work in a Cerberus joke but brain won’t let me)

Fins/Jets:

New Yawk has the fifth-most inviting secondary in fantasy so that’s why I’m heaving a prayer towards the Fitz/Parker combo. If you’re streaming te’s take a look at Mike Gesicki-he’s 5th in targets the last two weeks and has scored in both games. Rb Bell is out with an illness-my guess is he’s sick and tired of having 3.2 yards per carry.

Colts/Bucs:

Coach of the year has to go to Reich, right? He dealt with the Hodor retirement ambush, changed the O to suit Brissett and has weathered injuries to every one of his skill guys. And his team is still sniffing at a wild card spot. Well done.

Broncos/Texans:

Houston is riding high after last week’s W over the Pats. Now comes the fall? Or do they roll? Courtland Sutton owners are praying that rook qb Drew Lock can keep the fantasy points flowing.

Give it to me!

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hippo, why Denver?

King Hippo

I liked them ever since I was 2. My parents confirmed this, and the “no reason as to why.” They were terrible in 1975.

I was born in Wyoming, but only lived there 6 months. Whole family from NC, and was back in CLT at 1 and a half.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I meant why are they doing what they’re doing.

bk109

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Redshirt

Damn you, Mayfield! I want a two game lead for the #1 pick!

Redshirt

Thanks BLEERGH!

Redshirt

Time for everyone’s favorite game:

WHAT’S! A! CATCH?!

Doktor Zymm

Frank Gore is surprisingly bendy

litre_cola

Nawlins is very undisciplined. That stat of them taking dumb penalties on third down is crazy.

Redshirt

I think the Bengals have broken their own radio color commentator. And this guy survived Shula, Coslet, LeBeau and all the Wild Card Losses.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Really need Davante to score and the Redacteds to chip away at GB DEF

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Not a lot of time for either/both

Doktor Zymm

Black and Orange stripes v Brown and Orange stripes

Gratliff

I don’t know how you can call that unnecessary roughness when it happened in a millisecond

bk109

By the same token, you can give the defensive linemen 50cal handguns, after all the bullet will go through in just milliseconds 😀

Redshirt

In Dalton’s defense, the Brown Elf guy was wide open.

Gratliff

Using only the Ravens-Bills game as a measuring stick, the Eagles are at least as good as Baltimore. That’s just science.

Redshirt

New Orleans just got screwed again on a No Pass Interference Call.

Mr. Ayo

Just heard DPI can’t be called when the offense is in a punt formation.

Redshirt

Yeah, but the fans don’t know that.

hippofant

In before Bellichik starts exploiting this by punting out of regular formations or something.

litre_cola

Great time to have my worst week of the year gambling, and in FF. Maybe I should just throw things at my stepsis-inlaw. That might make me feel better.

Doktor Zymm

worth a try

blaxabbath

She hot?

litre_cola

Not even close.

litre_cola

What week did he become so shitty????

BrettFavresColonoscopy

His mom said 3rd trimester

Doktor Zymm

I guess I should head out to SJC to see a Niners game next year

blaxabbath

Bad week to leave Brees on the bench.

Game Time Decision

“Illegal touching “. Penalty or balls search term. Your call

bk109

Official Catholic Church Policy since at least 325AD!

Redshirt

If Balls searches for that term, we’ll never know because the FBI will be breaking down his doors before he can post his findings.

bk109

Btw, Just wanted to apologize for any offence my comments after K/O on the Pats game may cause you, but I just want to point out that it’s your fault that you got offended, insulted, aroused …. Basically, not my fault that you don’t turn into the living embodiment of what’s wrong with out fanbase 😀 I do stand behind my words,

Redshirt

I’m offended by your apology. 🙂

clint greasewood

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litre_cola

Fuck Matt Ryan.

King Hippo

Younghoe gets a fumble recovery!

Dunstan

“Younghoe, you say?” — R. Kraft

“How young we talkin’ about?” — M. Sanchez

Redshirt

Latest Not Dirty Dirty NFL Talk:

“The penetration by Cleveland was powerful.”

herodotus450

“Usually Cleveland just sort of takes a shit everywhere.”

Redshirt

December 8, 2019: The day the Bengals Radio Commentators turned on Andy Dalton

Gatoraids

Hunt for red December

Spur

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herodotus450

Some corn dough has gone awry, and I think my only recourse is to cornball it.

King Hippo

Breesus/Tomsulas? On track for breaking offensive records. Jest/LOLfins? Defensive struggle.

litre_cola

This game was bananas by the the 2nd quarter.

Senor Weaselo

Still a two-possession game for the Jest at 16-12

Spur

no josh jacobs today

litre_cola

Every damn league.

Spur

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Spur

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Gratliff

whomst amongst ust
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Spur

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Gratliff

Oh hey. Kenny Stills still exists

Fronkenshteen

Hansen is DEFFO losing money on the Donks Match

King Hippo

Isn’t there some stat re how awful teams’ records are after upsetting the P*ts?

litre_cola

Hippo Donks SMASH

King Hippo

AND WE GETS TO FOCUS ON OL/DL IN THE DRAFT!!!

bk109

Or you can dwell on the thoughts of what could’ve been if you didn’t sign Checkdown Flacco and had actually tried to play to win with Lock from Day 1 😀

King Hippo

he had thumb owie, could nae start from jump street (and the prep time likely helped a fuckton)

bk109

That’s what facts lead you to believe… We’re living in a post-factual world, What matters is what is your gut-reaction or overreaction… And my overreaction is that you’d be 19-0 at this point if you’d played Lock XD

Gatoraids

Dolphins trying to suck but keep forgetting to not use the teeth

Spur

Yay for the Good Donk RB.

King Hippo

D-O-N-K-S!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fronkenshteen

I WOULD LIKE TO SEE SOMEONE KILL A LOT OF SAUDI ARABIANS!!!!

/ am I doing this right?

Dunstan

Not bad. You forgot to add “EXCEPT FOR THE ONES DOING BUSINESS WITH ME OR MY FAMILY. OR WHO GAVE ME A SHINY ORB CEREMONY. OR TWEETED SOMETHING NICE ABOUT ME.”

Spur

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Spur

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Spur

Hurst making news

Doktor Zymm

Wow, I legit thought he had some sort of dead animal scarf, but no, it’s his hair

Gatoraids

Yellow journalism

Gatoraids

Sanders has drumsticks for hands

litre_cola

If you have the Fins kicker you are a happy FF player.

Doktor Zymm

DIdn’t Fireman Ed retire?

bk109

Because of the Buttfumble game, but he came back this season, I think….

Redshirt

Phil Simms: “Andy Dalton is going to get paid this offseason with what’s he’s doing today.”

11/20, 147 YDS, INT

So, he’s getting the Veteran Minimum?

clint greasewood

CBS is giving Young Sheldon hormone therapy to delay his puberty and thus widen their profit margins, sad, very sad

King Hippo

Buy CBS stock!!!1111 – Marc T., parts unknown

King Hippo

double reverse flea flicker and BloodSugarFitzMagic runs for maybe 6 inches

TheRevanchist

The Bang-ums are still in this game with the Brown turds. I’m hoping for more Mayfield giving dumb quotes post-game after another loss.

Redshirt

Mayfield: “We just need to work harder.”
Reporter: “You threw 5 interceptions in the 4th quarter alone, Baker.”
Mayfield: “Its a team effort. We just need to work harder.”

King Hippo

Fantasy season in a nutshell – Donks lead 31-3 at the half, but Lindsey and Sutton have combined for 6.8 fantasy points.

litre_cola

Getting killed by the 8th place team in my expensive league. I went 11-2 to make it and my buddy snuck in at 5-8. FML

King Hippo

As I said on TNF – how the everloving tittyfuck does anyone stand for a league that puts 8 sides into playoffs??

/unless a 16-team league

Spur

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Gratliff

It can not be stressed enough how badly a hippo will fuck you up. Alligators let baby hippos use them for teething because if they don’t, mama hippo will tear them in half.

Gratliff

Hippo attacking a car while Lions attempt to eat it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzVLpLwqJcU

King Hippo

#DamnSkippy!

Gratliff

Another neat one is that Pablo Escobar’s hippos are in the wild and have completely broken the food chain. It is now Hippo > *.

King Hippo

I’d gladly vote for Pablo Escobar