Killing is hard. It takes a toll-not only on the prey but also on the perpetrator. And that’s why there’s a one week moratorium on the slicin’ and dicin’.
I hope your various fantasy endeavors went well for you. I’m sure they went well for me.*
*check comments in previous threads for verification
TO THE GAME!
Bills/Steelers:
Over the last two weeks Duck Dodgers has the league’s best qb rating from a clean pocket! Who does he think he is, Gardner Minshew? On tudder side the Walking Carnival of Misfires-Josh Allen-makes a turnover worthy play 5% of the time he drops back to pass, which is more than two times the league average. Perhaps it has something to do with his penchant for throwing the ball 20 yards downfield (3rd most in the league) and his league-last efficiency rating when doing so. I called him ‘the most gifted high school qb in the NFL’ a few weeks ago because he still seems to be of the mind that if he tosses it up there someone will just go and get it. But yeah, this is the big leagues and these pros don’t have a job because daddy is the coach. (Steve Belichick excluded) The Pitt D is gonna have a laugh or two at old Josh’s expense because they bring pressure to the qb in 2.5 seconds or less 30% of the time and that’s a league-best mark. And it’s gonna leave a mark.
Say what your brain commands you to say, no matter how silly it be.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but that looked like a shit tackle rather than breaking a tackle
Montreal pool hall karaoke, 5 minutes ago:
https://vimeo.com/379645611
Holy crap that was a terrible pool shot.
He spent so long setting it up, too.
The guy in the red toque couldn’t be any more of a Quebecer if he was crossing out Italian words on an Italian restaurant’s menu.
“Spa-ghu-tee? We call that shit ‘poutine’ ’round these parts, Monsieur and mon dieu you will too!”
-Took six weeks of French 40 years ago; how am I doing?
Did somebody tell the Bills that the 2nd half was going to be two hand touch?
IIRC, they did this same thing when they went into the locker room up 13-6 on the Cowboys in SB XXVIII and Marv Levy told them “All right boys, let’s go out there and rest on our laurels!!”
Who scheduled this game, the ghost of Christmas early 90s?
Dats alotta white kids.
And the cheerleaders with the pasted on smiles…gah
Too many white people in one area makes me nervous.
Pack of racist pig diddlers around here.
when I coach a NFL team I will revolutionize things by introducing the country and the league to the 3/8ths back
We’ll run a variation on the shotgun called the sawed off
Add in the over under pump action variation and you’ll be a coaching legend.
I’ll also adjust the choke of the play based on what the D is lining up
A dime defense.
And a variation on the wildcat called the outdoor cat that just left you a dead bird as a present
Other new positions:
Pi back (has to be over 275 lbs.)
3/5 back (all black players lining up in the backfield are automatically 3/5 backs, do not receive full yardage for runs)
And only 3/5ths pay, as well.
daaaaaamn
Certainly took your premise and ran with it…
Signing Shaquem griffin to play on offence?
You have Jerry Richardson’s attention.
Can’t wait to watch this clip on the Newtown kids.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGgvresk8-E
ALLEN CAN’T THROW TO SHORT PEOPLE! HEIGHTIST!
Cookie #2
Ginger snap.
It was veiny like…… a map of the subcontinent. Wasn’t crisp yet because it was humid like the jungle (laundry). The spice was star anise, cinnamon, exotic. The curve was sultry and alluring. One bite? More. Finish me it said, so I did.
Presuming this was a special ginger snap….
Nah, wife made these ones. Not the ones I gave your crew.
Shouldn’t this bullshit running to the end zone after the play is dead earn a delay of game penalty?
HAI THERE, refball!
He wears his facemask at waist level I guess? SMDH.
I think they done been talking to FIFA refs
I can understand missing a call.
I can’t understand making up a call.
Does anybody here watch the Rick Bayless cooking show on PBS? It’s a good show, Rick is way better than his brother Skip. The family apparently doesn’t talk to Skip…
I wouldn’t talk to Skip either. What does Rick cook? All sorts of stuff or any sort of food in particular?
if he cooked Skip, I’d watch
Mexican all day everyday with RIck. I have an old cookbook from him.
Wait…it’s THAT Rick Bayless? They’re related?!
Yep, Mexican. Today was chile rellenos. I’ve never made them before, but I feel like I can now! I intend to try it sometime this week.
Holy Fuck, they are brothers?????
Holy shit! Who knew?! Rick is would be the favorite in my family, too. All the family meals would be at his house.
Thank Thor I have a massage booked tomorrow
These teams can’t run on each other.
Cookie Review #1.
Chocolate brownie cookies, dipped in chocolate.
After a nice bowl, I looked to kick back and have something to tempt my very discerning sweet tooth. Nothing too sharp that would upset my vodka but tempting.
I took a bite and had to take a knee. It was like Brian was hiding in the bush moderating gourd or shoe. Once I came to I decided to have another bite, I was transported to a magical place where nobody works and there are chocolate fountains that toddlers are not allowed to touch. I came to on my kitchen floor covered in confectioners sugar but with a smile.
So which is it? Gourd or shoe?
He is a very naughty boy, that is all I know.
It still impresses me that Tomlin is still the head coach
Clearly he is good, with Bell and Brown gone, he still has weathered it. He deserves Coach of the Year.
WOW, didn’t know has never won Coach of the Year?
Not to mention, he coached Antonio Brown for how many years, and we didn’t know the guy was crazy? I’ve gotta think Tomlin had a lot to do with keeping the guy focused
He wins 10 games with a guy named “Duck” quartered backing. Coach Epps is nigh invincible at this point.
Him and Satan are the best.
This “qb” is not very good at throwing the football.
Josh Allen is an athlete playing the QB position. He’s really more of a running back than a qb.
I meant Duck.
Thank you; that almost hit me in the head.
I think Allen could be great and he’s developing reasonably well. He plays like cam newton without the petulant child attitude. Both of them have accuracy issues which is tough to fix but look at Lamar Jackson. He was terribly inaccurate coming out of school but now he’s hitting guys in stride. I’d be happy if I were a Bills fan.
Slippers don’t go on the wall!
Dok, no judgements….but are the slippers really what you’re worried about from this photo?
Yeah, his nipples are on a weird angle.
There’s a rubber duck somewhere below the crop of the photo.
Let’s not think about that though.
You have to give gold for that shot.
We can ask Balls when he shows up. I’m sure he’s searched it.
There are two rubber ducky focused results.
It’s all latex after that.
His bath would be crowded as well.
there are big ones AND LITTLE ONES on the wall. Try not to think too much of the ramifications.
Yeah, the baby slippers are pretty creepy
I had to crop this picture.
There’s no way there aren’t feet in them.
“Are you interested in a Harlequin romance?”
Yowza, Singletary has some quick feet.
I’d just like to point out that if NO’s defense screws the pooch tomorrow, I’m gonna be pissed.
Five points you assholes. That’s all we need to get to where can have a chance to kick Sharkbait’s ass next week for the crown.
Also, sorry Hippo. Bad week at the wrong time. Been there.
I was there 10 weeks in a row last season, actually.
Hell yes.
daaaaaaaamn
How much weed is in those?
None, but I just got stoned on the balcony, Decilitre is in bed and I am like a fucking hyena circling for an opening.
That’s what she….never mind.
you married very well
Damn right he did.
Pretty weird (WEIRD) that Kraft sponsors the Steeler’s stadium (Kraft Heinz being the name of one company).
ah wish ah knew how to quit yeeeewww
“yeeeeeewwww” = being a complete ninny with the FITBAW
I heard of “with teeth” but that’s getting a bit ridiculous
This remake of the Bozo the Clown Show has potential…
7/11 now delivering because you don’t have enough shit in your house already.
You mean I can now order malt liquor, condoms and Mexican baked goods all from the same place?!
Zymm, can you get a 1/4 of sativa for me too? I am good for it.
I got a package on your way soon. Not sativa though. Two kinds but I forgot which is which. You’ll figure it out.
It does help the “so fat one is housebound but needs a Big Gulp RIGHT NOW” crowd
Legit I would like some Cool Ranch and Cola until Mrs. Cola goes to sleep and I destroy cookies.
Holiday Jamin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZE4shVkwqIk
Al: “And let’s meet the DFO roster.”
“Hippo, University of Arkansas Pharmaceutical Trials….”
Brick Meathook, Hollywood Upstairs Barber College
Gratliff, Stanford Alternative High School
At least my degree is from University of Phoenix, played hoops and TE for them. Me and Fitz are alumni.
“Blaxabbath, Liberty University. Go Fightin’ Fake Christians.”
They changed their names to Fightin’ Foles Christians after Super Bowl LII
“Low Commander of the Super Soldiers. That school from American Vandal”
“Nick Bosa. Trump University”
LemonJello, Our Lady of the Main Stage Non Denominational Truck Driving School.
Reedforth Shirtowki, Our Lady of Perpetual Schadenfreude.
“Horatio Cornblower, Hot Shots, Willimantic, Closing Time.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-0lV5qs1Qw
“scotchnaut, Functional Alcoholic A & M”
“Dok Zymm: University of Heidelburg until they kicked me out because my experiments were ‘unethical’ pfft”
TheRevanchist, Whatsamatta U
LOL
anyone want a “tactical” christmas stocking?
This stupid fucking country.
the day humanity blinks out of existence will be a great fucking day for history
At this rate, I’m rooting for the apes.
Cats and dolphins, making a mutual non-aggression pact
What is the blue line for? It can’t be what I think it is.
That’s where the needle goes in
Police (thin blue line). There is also a variant that makes the line half blue and half red (fire fighters).
Personally I hate it because it diminishes the American flag and that’s perfect because its everyone in Trump Co., OH.
There’s also one I’ve seen with a yellow line, which I haven’t been able to figure out yet. Cowards?
Lance Armstrongs?
People into water sports in Russian hotel rooms.
https://www.aspiregear.com/blogs/news/what-do-the-thin-line-colors-mean
Border Patrol! Fuck! Now I gotta get a new favorite color!
Pray for our border patrol agents, perpetually faced with the oncoming gradual demographic shift of our country, the horror!
Yellow is dispatchers. Yes, let me take a knee and a moment of silence for people who answer the fucking phone.
In principle, I’m against eugenics. In reality, these people all need to be sterilized immediately
I just love how the most patriotic deface the American flag by recoloring it for a political purpose. Also, its illuminating that they chose to replace a white stripe so the black stripes are disproportionally outnumbering the white stripes when the blue stripe gets involved.
I TOTALLY WANT THIS GIMME GIMME GIMME
yeah, my tits ain’t as perky as they once was, neither
Honestly, I thought you’d have way more hair on your shoulders.
He’s got a guy for that. Well not a guy.
Only about two hours until we can decide whether Watchmen was an awesome epic unbelievable TV event of the decade, or complete shit. There can be no in-between!
I’ve been very pleasantly surprised by how good it’s been.
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
Um, dude?
They made Hooded Justice a black guy. I don’t care how good their intentions are (see also the shitshow behind Orlando Jones being fired from American Gods yesterday), but they have completely missed the point of Watchmen.
Was the point of Watchmen not to create a pile of money for the author?
For the penciler, kinda. Not for the writer. It’s a stupid story.
quack quack say teh duckie
Fantasy Football is stupid.
I want the Frank Beamer Special (nil-nil after regulation)
found a funny:
regular soap brand: our soap will make u feel clean and nice 🙂
mens soap brand: HEY FELLAS. UR NOT SOME SORT OF LADY ARE U? U WANT UR SOAP TO BE RUGGED AND TO SMELL LIKE GUNS AND GASOLINE, RIGHT? THIS SOAP IS LITERALLY FILLED WITH PIECES OF SHARP GLASS BECAUSE IT’S FOR THE BOYS
This soap actually ads a layer of filth to your manly bod!
This reminds me of the day I found out about ‘Mandles’ which are candles with ‘manly’ scents
I thought that was an excuse for men to be fat.
REEL MEN need noe excuses ,, imogodbless
like what, mud and failure?
Weed and pizza with weird toppings.
I didn’t realize despair had a scent
mandles ribbed for her pleasure
Like a guy who would seriously buy a mandle would ever consider her pleasure.
> This reminds me of the day I found out about ‘Mandles’
For me, today is that day!
Wait, both of these teams have winning records?
“Maurkice Pouncey, aggravated assault”
Free MAurkice
Is WCS the shirtless, portly, heavily tattoed fella with the duckie hat??
If not in fact, hopefully in spirit
Wendy sitting this one out, is she?
I don’t usually think of the word ‘wafts’ in conjunction with football
Will this be a snow game?
“Uh, yeah,”
-Michael I.
it’s funny because he stabbed a guy
Yeah. “A” guy.
Also thought he was a big coke guy.
coke is sometimes called “snow,” so a “snow game” would be funny about Michael Irvin because he’s a drug addict! i’m chuckling just thinking about that!
Also, not sure if you caught it, but Irvin was a professional football player who played in “games,” further deepening the play on “snow game.”
LOL
https://twitter.com/NFLonFOX/status/1206268898015772673
Mrs. Cola made 4 types of Xmas cookies. I am high. I just need a little,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErvgV4P6Fzc
Did he write that song while waiting for Stephanie Seymour to get back with their night’s score?
Deep cut!
[Monday morning shot; pans room, lamp broken, empty milk containers, four empty cookie pans. Closing shot; litre; no pants, face down on couch, unresponsive.]
Where do I sign up?
Easy man, you’ll be at work in 45 minutes.
I spent most of today taking my L2 Sea Kayaking class. I’m exhausted and the hot shower I just took was the best hot shower ever, since I didn’t properly zip my dry suit and was totally soaked! Now I’m all about watching some hopefully not-shitty football! Sounds like the earlier games were pretty awesome actually, or at least there were a couple surprises
I have some bad news…
The Bills can be fun! And it’s the Steelers so maybe there will be a fight to spice things up!
Rules for Winter Driving in Cincinnati:
1. Panic.
2. Drive 20 mph under the speed limit.
3. Turn on High Beams and keep them on even if oncoming traffic approaches.
4. Avoid all tire paths created by other cars. Driving on covered parts of the road, preferably as close to the dashed line as possible.
5. Prepare to die.
6. Save time in the morning by only clearing the snow off of a 10 square inch piece of the windshield immediately in front of the driver.
It should be legal to hunt those people for sport.
I’d never convict ya
7. Only remove snow and ice from the front windshield. Let the rear defrost and wind clear the hood, top of car, rear windshield, trunk and headlights and taillights
There was one storm back when I lived in DC that was snow followed by freezing rain, so all the snow was sealed onto the car with a sheet of ice about 2 inches thick. If you didn’t clear the rest of your car, once the car heated up and started melting the snow from the bottom these giant ice sheets would go flying into traffic and caused a ton of accidents. They started pulling over and fining people who didn’t fully scrape their car
This live-action remake of “Barbie” looks good!
Is she the one who’s dating ‘Barista Ken’?
That’s amazing
It is. Her nipples just disappeared.
The magic of PG-13!
I am drinkin manufactured vodka and sodas that were left at my house. They are pleasant, that and Jimi Hendrix Band of gypsies.
Do I want to watch Bills vs Steelers, or watch Caleb Durward draft some holiday cube instead? Hm.