TO THE GAMES!
JAX/ATL:
This game is silly. Why?
BAL/CLE:
I hear the sound of many Browns fans dying little tiny deaths. No one cares. Kitchens is fired into the sun at season’s end.
N.O/TEN:
Gimpy McLegwound will fail me in fantasy just like everyone else. (hopes to hell he hears this and proves me wrong)
CAR/INDY:
The Colts have a punch-drunk chance to get into the tourney, don’t they? Does it not involve the presence of a comet streaking across the sky or something like that?
CINCY/MIA:
Now to the serious shit. There’s some jockeying going on here. Both started out strong, the Bengalis especially. The Fins gutted their roster with ruthless tenacity but someone forgot to tell coach. They might have actually stumble-bummed their way into a good one that can guide the team through a rebuild. You have to figger the hiring was an accident on their part.
PITT/NYJ:
Speaking of fine coaching jerbs, Tomlin has pulled a doozy-I mean Duck Dodgers? The acquisition of Minkah on the cheap has totally transformed the D and it has dragged the sorry ass of an O along for the ride. Sound a lot like the Pats to you?
Giants/Potato Skins:
Good luvin’, there’s quite a bit of bad going on here. But if you want your rook qb to get well you pit them against these secondaries. There’s just nothing there. Quality finds in the third and fifth rounds for Washington and New York respectively have them with wr’s they can pair with the youngsters behind center.
Go fifth and comment.
The Cincinnati Bungholes just clinched the #1 prick in the NFL Shaft.
Penis
Yikes to all that fumble stuff. That seems bad.
That Titans player fumbled because he was knocked out. Yikes.
I HAVEN’T SEEN A TITAN GET TAKEN OUT LIKE THAT SINCE ZEUS SHOWED UP ON THE SCENE.
Tits have life if they win (Yinzers play Ratbirds’ practice squadron next week).
Let’s go TITS!
#BustinOut
/deflates
iiiiiiiiiIt’s the most won-der-ful time of the year! (to get absolutely fucking obliterated on a Sunday afternoon). Hope you’re all having a wonderful holidays so far, you glorious intoxicated bastards.
But first, a very Jest-y punt.
Darkwing Duck will have 90 seconds and no timeouts. Please proceed, Yinzers.
SAFETY DANCE DENIED
I will not be denied!
I’ve got a report (that was due on the 19th) that I need to get done by tomorrow. As is proper, I’m focusing on trivialities like whether or not the tables and figures are numbered correctly.
Nantz is wrong, of course. If you are to need two possessions, better to find out NOW.
People are so goddamned stupid about that. So, so stupid.
But it’s just not how things are done!
The Raiders can stay alive in the playoff hunt if the Jets defense can get a stop here.
I feel like this is an episode of That’s My Raiders used to launch a spinoff series.
Maximum #ThePauls here
I haven’t seen a Chubb denied like that since my prom night.
TheVeon getting some vengeance.
It would be such a Bengals thing to do if they come back from 28-3 and win this thing.
Uh oh. LAMAR! LIMPING!
“[LAMENTATIONS]” – Ravens fans
Playoffs?!?!
Quoth the Raven, Nevermore
their best three offensive players, all on this drive
#ThePauls, doing Belicheat’s dirty work
This is going to be interesting – the sun is out right now in LA, but it’s windy as hell and rain is forecast to hit in the next three hours or so.
THIS INCOMING STORM, I CALL IT SOMETHING OTHER THAN THE RAIDERS DEFENSE BECAUSE IT IS ABOUT TO HIT HARD.
DUCK BACK!
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Tits…bounce back??
This should be Lamar!’s last drive of the regular season.
On the plus side, Asian billionaires are less likely to think that eating boiled tiger penis is going to make them eternally youthful after watching this Cincinnati season, so wild Bengal tiger populations might start to rise.
Bad Bengals! Bad!
GAMBLOR likes this Su-su-suddio lead over Napoli.
Bad Santa clip: https://giant.gfycat.com/AbsoluteDesertedHeron.mp4
I have a year but for some reason I want to grind out the last few MCLE credits I need this afternoon. Perhaps because they are the ones I want to watch/listen to the least.
was fun while it lasted, Tits. que lastima
We’ll always have the mammaries.
HAWT RIBS
Mmmmmmmmm … ribs
— A. Reid
/laboured breathing intensifies
Baker, Baker, the turnover maker
/and Judon gets one FOAR Chaka Khan
The Redacteds score! And their dozens of fans in the stadium rejoice.
Lamar to the Browns
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmJKY59NX8o
Potato Skins kilt another one.
Bury My Knee at RFK
that will be a $3020 convince fee and $4000 for the standard burial.
Bangles’s winning percentage is in the hundredths, and dropping.
Tank Like An Egyptian??
Bullock giving life to the ghost of Blair Walsh.
Wait, no. He actually executed when it mattered.
Does Odell pass out his resume on USB or handouts? I bet he uses glitter.
Pair of cleats would be my guess.
Lamar has no time for Browns wackiness
Oh Browns.
That’ll do, Lamar! That’ll do.
really is like Brittfar, except he’s good
This is the time of year you want a Rudolph leading instead of a Duck.
Q2 has not been kind to DonT’s Tits
Dawg Pound is starting to get a bit rabid.
Moore, Slayton and Chark have a combined .1 pts. Greqt week for it.
Did Cleveland forget to field its defense?
So much for #ThePauls’ clean sheet…
SF/SEA flexing to SNF is confirmed. Huzzah!
/remember that awful year there was NO Week 17 night fixture??
Jest would finish 5-3 at home if this result holds. They have a pretty solid defense, if they could just fumigate out the Adam Gase stink…
“That’s harder to get rid of than you think. We’re still scrubbing the locker room, it still smells like rancid meat.” — Miami
“Scrubbing a locker room?” — Tampa
“Meat?” — Andy Reid
“Rancid?” – [whoever is the most punk NFL player]
Does Christian punk count?
7/9 and two picks and Duckman is cancelled?
we can’t have nice things
MAGA man back in the Yinzers’ saddle. BOO!!!!!!!!!
No “Kitchens has burned down in a grease fire?”
I need to make gifs of all the winning Quotables and maybe some other submissions that people pick to do a round-up when the regular season is over to maybe select a regular season MVP gif and commentist (SonOfSpam, probably). I just need to carve out an hour or so after work for the next couple of days or weeks.
#2!
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KHunt goes airborne.