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JV Raging Semi #2 (and Open Sabado Noche Thread) – 2019 Playoffs

King Hippo

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No 2nd Jim Mora clip, I will just play my personal best song of 2019:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xt9xg8niutY

Clemson (-2.5) v. tOSU (Qardinals Base Camp, 8:00, ESPN)

I told myself maybe I would moneyline bet whoever is the underdog, but this is a straight-up coinflip and I don’t wanna.  Interesting philosophical dilemma for the class – is tOSU just a Yankee Clemson, or is Son de Clem a Rebel-fied Ohio State?  Two 800-lb gorillas far and away the best sides in 1-horse towns (ie, conferences).  There will be hue and cry about “pretender” status should either lose by any significant margin, but that’s a bunch of shite.  These are two really good teams, and weird merde just happens in late December/early January, after such a long layoff (and in Clemson’s case, not being really tested in about 3 months).  Could we get extra time in this?  I noe, but I ain’t tellin.’

el Hippo Predicion: Clemson 41, theeee Ohio State 38

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SonOfSpam

Man, she had a hell of a run.

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rockingdog

Rootin for da buckeyes

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litre_cola

Do the teams fly in their own cops? That looked like a South Carolina cop nawt Glendale’s finest.

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King Hippo

yeah, coaches get their favourite trooper, who knows what varietal whiskey and courtesan the head man prefers

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Redshirt

Aw, crap. I knew 16-0 wasn’t enough.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I know more folks that went to OSU than went to Clemson, so if Buckeyes lose I get some nose-rubbing fun.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

How’d that slow white dude do that?

– Ohio State

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King Hippo

yup, tOSU done puckered they asshole

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King Hippo

wut about the TARGETING by Dobbins’ calf? HUH???

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King Hippo

I’d double down my bet, but won’t get anywhere near +353 now

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litre_cola

Does Lawrence have to play 1 more year?

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King Hippo

yes, true Soph

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litre_cola

Like NBA and NHL players could he come to Canada for a year and get paid? Or would is he not good enough that it would kill his draft status?

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King Hippo

He’s a Jeebus Camp zombie, he would nae

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Since I don’t gamble, my rooting habits are completely hallucinatory, based solely on emotion and my memories of having spent any time in any given college’s state.
Therefore, I hope Clemson and OSU both lose. Come on meteor.
Edit: upon further reflection, I hoped to see a pretty cool Bruce Hornsby/Bela Fleck and the Flecktones show in some Columbus amphitheater a few years ago, but it got rained out, so go Clemson.

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Sharkbait

Still watching The Witcher. This show is nothing, if not mildly entertaining.

Protip: Drink every time they say the word “Destiny”

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Rut roh, they done brokeded Trevor.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

The targeting rule is and remains goddamned ridiculous.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Agreed.

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Mr. Ayo

Refs fell in love with his flowing locks and thought he was dreamboat

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King Hippo

whatever y’all do, do NOT imagine Trevor riding naked on a white horse.

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King Hippo

/ok, he can be wearing cowgirl boots

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Mr. Ayo

And cover up those sculpted calves?!?

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Redshirt

No, overactive imagination! Don’t engage!

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King Hippo

deffo no codpiece, tho

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Redshirt

Chase Young is going bye-bye.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

My biggest regret of the day is that Woody Hayes is no longer available to punch Clemson players.

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King Hippo

Trevor’s agent….I mean close family friend acting out of the goodness of his heart just shat himself.

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Col. Duke LaCross

Ded

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litre_cola

Daytime cold meds plus white wine, now Nyquil with a cabernet chaser. Wheeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

DUDE! You know hows to party!

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King Hippo

Never the wrong season for a coma.

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King Hippo

Live bet $30 on Son de Clem. Because bored.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sexy flint.

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Spur

go for it

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King Hippo

Analytics is a pile of Jew Lies!! – Dabo S., Clemson, SC

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fuck you YouTube.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Let’s got this way.
No, let’s go this way.
YOU ASSHOLE.

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King Hippo

STOP. PYLON. STRETCHING.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Porn search.

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Spur

Not another blowout

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“HELL YEAH!”

-Jerry J., Fort Worth

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

My video posting sucks. This was intended to be Kirsten.

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Spur

Dabo’s playsheet
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Spur

Ohio State All Stars
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King Hippo

But Columbus did a good?? That county flipping blue is pretty big news.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

That OSU safety slipped on that pass. That crappy field is going to make this game. “Slips” for key players

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Horatio Cornblower

it does look like they painted it with pig lard, just to make things interesting.

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Spur

This shitty field is going to get someone hurt.

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King Hippo

Dunno how you allow such chicanery in a fucking national semifinal.

Also dunno how Son de Clem decides to pun there, down 10-zip.

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King Hippo

Chase Young wins the “Most Unexpected Glasses Style” award

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Spur

Ohio State All-Star comment imagecomment image

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Spur

She’ll let you go bare back and you only got to worry about child support for a few years

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You can’t get pregnant from surprise anal.

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King Hippo

WHEW! – Tim T., Gainesville, FL

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Men can’t get pregnant.

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King Hippo

Timmy skipped all his sex edumacation ,, obvs

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BaldingSpiritually

She’s hot
She hates kids
She’s a tOSU fan.

2 out of 3 ain’t bad

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Viva La Tabula Raza

She’s hot
She hates kids
She’s a tOSU fan.

2 out of 3 ain’t bad
—Meat Loaf

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Spur

Everybody is slipping

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King Hippo

Yeah, that’s some shitty turf. Real grass or nae.

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King Hippo

B.T. Potter is a great overseer name, ain’t it?

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King Hippo

ruh roh, theeeee is gonna pay from that dropsie

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King Hippo

I want a Horatio/Rocking Dog #ShameBet for tomorrow morning.

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Horatio Cornblower

There’s no fucking way I’d put any money/thing on Arsenal this season.

Rooting for them, even in my half-assed fashion, is shame enough.

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King Hippo

The proper snooty “big club” fan response is sommet like “form is temporary, class is forever.”

I’d appreciate you just taking a point so my Toffees can stay 10th. It’s good for morale.

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Horatio Cornblower

That’s a pretty big ask this year, but Chelsea hasn’t exactly been setting the league on fire so perhaps that point will come to pass.

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King Hippo

There’s 1 good team, 4 or 5 shite ones, and a lot of “shrug emoji” in between.

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Spur

Ohio State All-Star
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8BGVTkNsGlA

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Col. Duke LaCross

Inspired one of my favorite daily show bits ever.
http://www.cc.com/video-clips/nc7h23/the-daily-show-with-jon-stewart-rubbing-out-crime

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Spur

Classic. That Daily Show/Colbert Report hour was the best. Towards the end i would skip the preachy Daily Show.

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King Hippo

So…a hand doesn’t mark you DOWN, but it DOES count for establishing in-bounds. I learned sommet just then.

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King Hippo

Justin Fields does seem WAY less obnoxious than “Dude Looks Like a Lady” on the opposite sideline.

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Spur

Ryan Day looks inbreed

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Spur

Chase is going to be a bust

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Horatio Cornblower

I can’t decide who I’d like to lose this game more; Jesus freak Dabo or “still has the stink of Urban Meyer” tOSU.

Guess I can hope for a meteor but I am decidedly LSU regardless.

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King Hippo

As are the entire world of neutrals for the final. I mean, I could at least feel good for a few Commentists if tOSU wins. On the other hand, think of all the endless “Tiger! Uppercut!!” jokes…

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BaldingSpiritually

I’m all tOSU because they’re the most likely to decline a WH visit

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King Hippo

No university (that utilizes public financing at all) is gonna be making a political statement like that. Plus hey, free McDonald’s.

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herodotus450

If osu wins but Fields gets hurt, maybe Burrow can just play all-time QB in the final?

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King Hippo

He been gimpy? Looked like heaviest duty tape on both ankles…

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herodotus450

So much coverage of his ankle brace makes me think someone at espn is secretly an admin of wikiankle.com

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King Hippo

Rex Ryan dashes off the “home office” computer, locks door.

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Spur

already the OSU excuses. “We would have won if” – OSU mouthbreathers

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King Hippo

This will be, no doubt, a clash of the two best DLs in JV ball.

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Spur

If Sabin is El Diablo what is Dabo?

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King Hippo

Robert Duvall’s character from “The Apostle?”

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Robert Duvall’s character from “Apocalypse Now”?

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Spur

Come on Clem shutdown the King of the Cupcakes. Tallest of the MACtion Midgets.

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herodotus450

Winner of each semifinal gets to take one player from the other team, now who ya got?

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King Hippo

Christ, imagine LSU with Cee Dee Lamb…

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