Your AFC Championship Game Open Thread

The countdown has begun. Only two more games after this one. Well, I’m sure people started counting down before now but I’m not able to handle anything beyond three so this is when I start. Both games today are rematches and the googler tells me that when teams meet again in the playoffs the winner of the first tussle is 22-14. Make of that what you will.

TO THE GAME!

Titans/Chiefs:

-Many on this site have adopted the Titans as their squadoo for the playoffs, forgetting The Ancient One’s prophecy regarding Mahomes being a multiple Super Bowl winner. It starts here.

-That is of course if they can stop the run. Another 30+ carries, 125+ yards rushed seems to be a mortal lock for Henry because the Chiefs give up 4.87 yards to opposing rb’s.

-And then the play-action passing game kicks into overdrive. Will it actually involve A.J. Brown though. He’s disappeared to the tune of 4 total targets the last two games. Perhaps Tajae Sharpe and his 70% catch rate (highest of all remaining wr’s) is the player to look for.

-One other mathy tidbit to keep in mind-Tennessee is 4-0 in games this year when they’ve been 4 or more point dogs.

-But ya gotta think that the Chiefs just have far too many weapons. They hung 51 points on the Texans last week and Tyreek didn’t even get involved. And conventional wisdom dictates that Kelce will keep on rolling against a team that gives up the 4th most scores to the tight end spot.

-Prediction Time! The Titans will score but the Chiefs will score more-they’re far healthier than they were the first time around. 35-21.

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King Hippo

WHAT A BLOCK

Old School Zero

Lorenzo Neal flashbacks

King Hippo

yeah, he was the master of that. Too bad the RT was holding and ruined the play

Old School Zero

The only thing this game is missing so far is the NFL Films narrator voice

LemonJello

Did they put extra amphetamines in the Chefs’ Gatoraid?

rockingdog

Found a funny:
[learning to fly a plane]

ME: *whispers to pilot* which buttons make it flap

King Hippo

TRUTH

bk109

An’ that’s a night from me, lol.. ’cause they announced our flight, lol . Have a good one, guys, and may Gamblor always set the lines in your favour!

Mr. Ayo

TRAITOR!

Old School Zero

Oof. That’s embarrassing. I would hate to go into work the next day after that.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Why is KC’s mascot a decidedly insane looking coyote like thing?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Only animal coach wouldn’t try to eat

Dunstan

Damnit.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Lol, you both get half credit.

litre_cola

Well they brainstormed something like Chief Wahoo but decided that their racism would be the tomahawk chop.

King Hippo

which is extra inappropriate because the “Chief” actually is supposed to refer to the nickname of a KC mayor (their excuse for name not being raycess)

Dunstan

It was hard to find a mascot that Andy Reid wouldn’t eat.

Recovery Whiskey

Well the white guy in war paint riding the horse was … problematic

King Hippo

We can has game? WE CAN HAS GAME.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Mahomes up on the Hill?
HEY I’M TRYING!!!!

bk109

Unrelated: You guys think Bill Burr’s age-appropriate for 10 year olds?

King Hippo

yes

Gratliff

Showing him the Philadelphia Incident, eh?

bk109

Nah, Paper Tiger netflix special.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That guy’s not hurt, he’s giving his defense a rest.

/no clue, but never trust the Belichick coaching tree

bk109

THAT’S RACIST!

King Hippo

This is gonna be a GREAT FOOKIN’ GAME

Recovery Whiskey

Big if true

tomsellecksmoustache

Mahomes will get this first down in any way possible.

litre_cola

Just like Darren Sharper and third base.

King Hippo

Mahomes ability to make quick, accurate reads v. Tit Men being best squadron in League at disguising their defensive calls.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How many timeouts can Andy Reid use RIGHT NOW

bk109

ALL OF THEM!

Recovery Whiskey

Time outs, or KFC Famous Bowls

LemonJello

Coach Reid would never lose count of something so important as KFC Famous Bowls.

bk109

Yes.

King Hippo

/laboured breathing intensifies

Dunstan

How many ya got?

So, seriously, how many do I have? — Andy

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Geaux for it

King Hippo

Mahomes-y getting happy feet

Dunstan

Rex Ryan arches an eyebrow

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Mahomes: No

theeWeeBabySeamus

Mahomes are burning down?

Redshirt

(funny from this week’s Harley Quinn episode)

Scarecrow: “Welcome to the Legion of Doom! Here you can see statues of all the heavy hitters: Sinestro. Lex Luther. Roger Goodell. Oh, FYI, we stand for the anthem here.”

Old School Zero

Titans looking like they’ll have the time of possession victory so far

litre_cola

Do you know who else won the time of possession and lost? Josef Fritzl.

Redshirt

Even if Tennessee win this whole thing, they’re going to say its counts for Belichick because Vrabel played for the Pats.

King Hippo

I mean, it worked so well for Johnny Reb in the Egg Bowl…

Recovery Whiskey

Dat Andy Reid playoff magic

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Huge statement drive forthcoming from Pour One Out for Mahomes

BrettFavresColonoscopy

They never stuck, but I enjoyed the dfo attempt at nicknaming Mahomes:

https://www.doorfliesopen.com/2018/10/09/37457/

bk109

So, if by some miracle (and allowed by a just God) the Tits win, what will Andy Reid bitch about next? Last year it was that it was unfair that after his team couldn’t stop the Pats in OT, that it was unfair that he wasn’t allowed to be bailed out by a generational talent like Mahomes?

Gratliff

“Doug made me the OC but won’t let me call plays. What the fuck?”

Gratliff

24-0 was erased in a quarter

King Hippo

against a Buttchinski-coached squadron

bk109

Yeah, the Texans shitting the bed is like … the norm. It’s like expecting Andy Reid to panic and to horribly mismanage his time-outs !

Gratliff

Feel like there’s a constant danger of a Tannehill collapse

bk109

Eh, after serving his full sentence in Miami, he’s owed a good season by the football gods…

King Hippo

DonT Priapism Hour

Col. Duke LaCross

What do you want him to do? Cut it off?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WM9c5cpMxp0

Brick Meathook

Here’s my souvenir pin the pilot of the SR-71gave the camera crew. He carried them in his spacesuit pocket during the flight. They took off from Edwards AFB and flew north, turned right at the Canadian border, turned right over North Dakota, turned right over Texas, turned right over San Diego, and landed back at Edwards. The whole flight took 90 minutes.
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Dolph Ucker

Used to watch them take off from Kadena back in the ’80’s. Awesome departure, for sure. Get to altitude quick, get some gas, then go higher. Everything about them was badass.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I mean, if you’re the underdog, you need to use all four downs right?

I don’t have a joke here, I just don’t understand why that’s not conventional wisdom in the NFL (beyond the usual inherent conservatism/fear of NFL coaches/front offices).

King Hippo

Jonnu do it himself!

LemonJello

To be fair, he’s not usually coaching this late in the season, so he’ll still get your taxes done. You don’t need that refund that quickly, do you?

Redshirt

Nope. It hit the ground.

Redshirt

Damn, Hulu. I’m five minutes behind you guys.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Livestreams are less laggy

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Like pirated ones

bk109

Yes, I’ve heard that some are quite adequate!

King Hippo

Good decision. 47 yards in this weather a bad value proposition

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Never trust anyone named Arthur

King Hippo

Could have gotten nigh 3-to-1 on Tit Men to start the week

herodotus450

“Neutral Zone Infraction,” that’s why American football never took of in Switzerland. Well that and the lack of Nazi gold.

King Hippo

Sudetenland FTW!

LemonJello

“Neutral Zone Infraction” is also a Star Trek writer’s fallback when they can’t think of a new plot.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Ads featuring athletes should not be aired during games in which that athlete is participating.

King Hippo

Tanny Fanny reprieve!

Don T

That’s gotta be incomplete.
Please.

LemonJello

Season 3 of Fansville: This time, the meteor wins.

Old School Zero

Not a pickerception

Gratliff

Welcome back, Ryan Tannehill

King Hippo

Opossum Tail El Tractorcito is modern day Jim Brown.

/without the lady punching

Don T

KC has more men in the box than a Lego mass grave.

King Hippo

If this ain’t go on the banner, I just don’t have any clue what ppl like

Dunstan

I feel like “… than a gang bang” would appeal more to this crowd.

Gratliff

It’s important that we remember what the Chefs did to the imaginary Houston team before we get excited over a few drives

LemonJello

I’ll watch Survivor when they actually have to kill each other off until there’s only one left.

bk109

Ooh, can we make it a Survivor – Congressional Edition … You send everyone that was voted outta office (or “resigned” just before an election loss), with the last person standing getting a primo lobbying position for Halliburton? 😀