Oh, holiest of holy days. The last pure FITBAW day on the calendar (the Superb Owl is MOAR a sports-themed event than anything, plus only one game). I hope everyone reverently enjoyed and appreciated it.
Tit Men and Chefs always felt like a great matchup, and Q1 certainly lived up to the bill. DonT’s bunch punched KC in the mouth with 10 quick points. It was fascinating watching Mahomes (his ability to make quick, accurate reads is what truly sets him apart as an ELITE quartered back) play chess with the Titans’ defense (the best in the League at disguising defensive calls). Really, what more can a FITBAW enthusiast hope for?
Anyway, a jet sweep to Hill cut the margin to 10-7 and we can has game.
Many folks pointed out that Tanny Fanny only threw for double digits in the last two wins. But he broke a buck-twenty on the 3rd drive, despite weenie shrinking cold temperatures. Including a FAT GUY TOUCHED DOWN to cap a “40 days in the desert” long drive, making it 17-7. Coaching, y’all. It fucking matters.
But despite our joshing, Fat Andy can really coach, too. Unlike the 500s last week (once KC surged ahead), one felt a response was almost certain. And respond they did, with a typically Chefs-style lightning strike drive. Hill scores again, this time through the air. 17-14, with the Chefs getting the ball to start the 2nd half. Unless Tennessee used the last 4 minutes of Q2 wisely, one could see the worm turning completely.
Kansas City forced a 3-and-out. RUH ROH.
Mahomes-y took advantage, with the dagger via Madden-ish, fucking unbelievable 27-yard TD scamper. 21-17 at the half. Things looking bleak for DonT’s crew. But I wouldn’t expect them to lie down and just take it. Fuck me, though. What a first half.
Things slowed down in Q3, with each defensive mastermind adjusting. But you can’t trade punts with KC very long, and sure enough, Chefs made it 28-17 on the second play of Q4. Would this be all she wrote for Team of Erotic Smashmouth Destiny?
Yes. Yes, it was. Tennessee converted a neat fake punt and another score to Firkser, but that could only make the score a respectable 35-24. Fat Andy made a brilliant hire in DC Steve Spagnulo, and that would suffice to get Kansas City their first Lamar (no !) Hunt trophy. He deserves this moment, and good for him.
Who would he square off against?
Tomsulas and Packers traded 3rd and short stops to start the game. You’d think that a slobber-knocker would favour Santa Clara’s finest. Deebo! and Colonel Mostert combined for several big plays to put the good guys up 7-nil. A.A. Ron could nae answer, and I’m Richie James, bitch! ran the punt back to midfield. Deja vu to the regular season SNF rout?
Long-assed FG makes it 10-nil. Sack fumble (OL recovered) followed by a 20-yard shank? I don’t think Cheeseheads like where this is going. A MostertDOWN redux followed, and I don’t see writing too much about this shitshow.
MostertDOWN numero tres took us to 27-zip at the half. Oy vey!
Bay of Green made some football points to start Q3, then Mostert…fucking got another one. He’s flirting with 200 yards, on top of them four scores. Janeane has thrown SIX forward passes, NONE in Q3.
Somehow, the lead got whittled down to 14, and Ms. Garofolo threw a Q4 pass. Complete to Kittle. And there was much rejoicing.
Mostert set the franchise ALL-TIME rushing record. For any regular or post-season game. 37-20, it ends. Sherman pickercepts an arm punt in garbage time.
Anyway, this will be a very interesting Superb Owl. Santa Clara’s running game against the DL that finally slowed down El Tractorcito. Patrick Mahomes (won’t win MVP, but he’s clearly the best quartered back in FITBAW, and likely a serious GOAT contender) against madman Salah, his NFL-best defense (getting healthy at the right time), and his angry boner that could cut glass (h/t, Covalent Blonde). Two great coaches, the experience and hunger (hee hee) of Andy Reid against the newest shooting star that is Baby Shanny.
And the best part? I’d be happy with either side winning. I just want to see a good, compelling game. And I very strongly suspect that we will. Thanks for reading along this delightful season.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jINw0EAhZWk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOBB2cF1rtM
Shanny can coach
I endured the Schottenheimer years. The years of QBs that were cast offs from other teams. I’m going to watch the shit out of this SB and enjoy every Patty M. deep throw on the way to a second title.
While it would be nice to go through my entire life without seeing the Chiefs win a Super Bowl, it probably won’t happen unless I get hit by a bus sometime in the next two weeks.
Maybe. I’m just hoping, but the Niners have a team. People don’t think much of Garoppolo, but he can play at a high level when necessary. With that team, though, they just run the ball, because they have those blockers. That D line gets to the QB in big ways. Their secondary is either underrated or their D line is such a dominate force that their secondary looks good. If they had receivers like we have, we might be screwed.
The one superb owl in the last many years I really want to watch and I’ll be traveling for work during it. Stupid HVAC conference in Orlando…
Sounds positively frigid.
Jimmy Garropolo has chosen an obvious place not to be seen:
San Francisco, you are my only hope.
Chefs -1 o/u 53.5
WHO YA GOT?!
/ Niners & the Under, me.
That sounds about right. I’d ML either team as a 3+ point underdog, because this is a pure tossup. Just going to watch and enjoy.
Chefs and over. I know Owls tend to be low scoring, but I don’t see Mahomes being held under 30, and Jimmy G has weapons too.
‘Niners and over IMHO. We’ll have to see how the line moves for a coupla weeks.
Chiefs the over and I may give 6.5
It’s a bright, shiny Pats-less world and I feel fine.
Originally read that as “Pantsless”. Both work
As did I!
The Titans were good, physical and opportunistic; the Chefs so great that mistakes didn’t matter. Solid teams build comebacks on plays like Hill’s drop on 3rd down in the 3rd QRT. TEN didn’t, ‘cause KC was just maulin’ the Tits OL in the 2nd half. That was a bummer, but fair. Chefs are a dynamite watch.
Niners own the Pack like Siegfried owns Roy. What an embarrassing NFC Championship.
yep, it must be at least some consolation that there really wasn’t much else that could be done. Chefs just played their A game (for 3 quarters, anyway).
It’s very odd not hating any of the teams in the conference round or indeed the Owl itself. Although living where I do I know a handful of people who feel strongly for or against the Tomsulas.
Overall this was a very enjoyable playoffs, much better than I was expecting!
Also having entertaining memories of how much Redacteds fans hated Kyle when he was OC, which, nepotism notwithstanding, he didn’t really deserve as he did actually know what he was doing
Anyway, imma go get some coffee. It always seems to storm when I’m in Iceland in the winter.
/ takes careful notes for future post…
Balls search term Icelandic geyser.