Good morning all.
Time to wake up and smell the gravy!
Hope everybody is surviving the beginning of the long-ass NFL offseason.
I know why you’re here. You’re here for the goddamn gravy! And boy howdy do we have a good one today. It’s truly the best of both worlds. It’s tasty as a motherfucker and easy as fuck to make.
Sound good?
It’s time to, once again, head back to one of my favorite food destination cities on the planet.
We’re going back to New Orleans, y’all.
Oh yes, we’ve explored the Big Easy, culinarily speaking, many, many time before.
We had this baby.
That would be a plate of grillades and grits. Click and read if you want the dirty low-down.
We also cooked its more familiar cousin…
In addition, we’ve done your quasi-Cajun shrimp boil.
And we did the famous Red Beans and Rice!
Of course.
Step right up and try some Blackened Chicken Alfredo!
With your Creole spices and the homemade pasta, don’t ya know. Think I might be messing around with homemade pasta again this season? Fuck yes I will.
And we did the requisite jambalaya. Two ways!
Hint: There may be a new Creole recipe or two pretty soon.
Just know that my Creole bonafides (you can pronounce that “bone-a-fee-days” if you like) are strong.
First time I had New Orleans style barbecue shrimp was at Dickie Brennan’s Steakhouse in the French Quarter. We were sitting at the bar waiting for our table and the bartender suggested we try it.
Mind. Fucking. Blown.
They serve extra large Gulf shrimp with the heads on. Yeah, I had to get a little help on the first shrimp to figure out the head removal thing. Trick is to snap the head back towards the carapace, snap that fucker off and then suck the juice out of it. Then you peel the shrimp, dip it in the sauce and get fucking messy.
One of the most delicious things I’ve ever experienced.
They also serve the shrimp with a loaf of extra crusty French bread for dipping in the sauce.
Hang on. I’m gonna need a quick change of undies, I’ll be right back.
We’ve got to get something out of the way, there is nothing about this dish that is barbecued. The shrimp is cooked in a skillet with a savory sauce that’s mostly butter, lemon, hot sauce, garlic and Worcestershire sauce. Think there’s a little beer added in as well.
Did I mention that it’s a shitload of butter?
One of the most critical components of this dish is the French bread. The bite you’ll remember is the bread dipped into the shrimp/butter sauce. It’s goddamn magical.
A quandary though, where do we get the bread? I know I’ve lamented the fact that we can’t get good French Bread out here in L.A. I’ve probably bitched about it many, many times.
Please realize you will NEVER find better bread than in New Orleans so don’t try to reach that lofty height.
So what’s an aspiring cook to do?
We’re gonna make that shit ourselves!
You regular readers know I like doing the homemade bread thing. The first time I made a bunch of French bread…
Was when I made the homemade Banh Mi.
But I’ve made fresh bread many times since, so we’ve had a bunch of practice.
This is a really simple recipe, perfect for making a single loaf of bread.
Let’s get after this motherfucker!
French Bread.
recipe very much inspired by Tasteofhome.com
3 cups of all purpose flour
1 package of active dry yeast
1 cup of warm water around 110 degrees
2 tablespoons of a neutral cooking oil like canola
2 tablespoons of sugar
1 teaspoon of salt
About a tablespoon of cornmeal
1 egg white
1 tablespoon of cold water
Before we get started you have to realize that the reason I said this was simple is because I’ve got this fucker right?
If you don’t have a Kitchenaid stand mixer it’s probably gonna be a bit more of a pain in the ass.
First off place the yeast and the warm water into the working bowl of the mixer. You did check the water for proper temperature yes? Then add in the sugar, salt, oil and about 2 cups of flour. Using the paddle attachment for the mixer, give this shit a spin for a minute or two.
Now start adding in the remaining flour until you’ve made a fairly stiff dough.
The recipe says to dump the dough onto a floured surface and knead BY HAND for 7-8 minutes. Are you shitting me here? Fuck that.
Put that hook attachment on the mixer, set a kitchen timer to about 7 minutes, switch the mixer on and walk the fuck away.
This will knead the bread perfectly.
Next get yo’self a bowl and lightly lube the inside of the bowl with some cooking oil. Shape the dough into a nice round ball, place into the bowl and give it a little roll to coat all sides of the bread with oil.
This will need to be placed in a warm area to allow it to rise. I set the bowl next to the stove while I was preparing my weekly batch of chicken breast that sustains me from Monday through Friday, so the kitchen was nice and warm.
Cover the bowl with a kitchen towel and let rise for an hour until the dough has doubled in size.
Punch the dough down, shape into a ball again, place back in the bowl and let rise a second time for about 30 minutes.
Punch the dough down again, then shape the dough into a loaf shape that has tapered ends and place it onto a baking pan that has been lightly sprinkled with the cornmeal. You don’t need a ton of cornmeal, just enough to help keep the dough from sticking while it cooks.
Next we’re going to…
Let rise again for another 30 minutes until the loaf doubles in size.
Make an egg wash with the egg whites and the cold water by placing into a small bowl and mixing. Coat the entire outside of the loaf with the egg wash. Then using a small sharp knife, cut slits into the top of the loaf diagonally. Make the slits a couple of inches apart.
Place the loaf into an oven that’s been preheated to 375. After 30 minutes, you should have something like this.
Remove to a wire rack to cool.
Check that shit out!
You just made bread you sly bastard!
Now, we need a quick discussion about making this into a meal. Barbecue shrimp is generally served as an appetizer not as a complete meal. We had some hungry faces to feed so we need to consider this.
I decided to make an old favorite, you know the angel hair, garlic parmesan noodle thing that I’ve made in the past?
It’s about half a package of cooked angel hair pasta, then make a sauce with half a stick of butter, 4 cloves of minced garlic, 3/4 cups of fresh parmesan cheese, cup and a half of heavy cream, add the pasta, sprinkle with chives etc.
The recipe is in that link right there. It’s fucking delicious too. Then I added a side spinach salad and that rounded things out.
Boom! A fucking meal.
Get all of your prep and your sides done first because the barbecue shrimp dish? That shit takes just a few minutes to make and you want to have your entire attention focused on it while working your goddamn culinary magic.
New Orleans Style Barbecue Shrimp.
2 pounds of extra large shrimp, shells on. Heads on if you can find them.
2 tablespoons of essence – yes we’ve discussed essence about 27 fucking times. If you’ve got a Creole seasoning you prefer you can use that fucker instead.
1 lemon, juiced. Keep one half of the lemon rind for a garnish.
5-6-7-8 A fucking shitload of garlic cloves minced
1 tablespoon of oil
3 tablespoons of Worcestershire
3 tablespoons of Louisiana hot sauce – I used Red Rooster as always
1/3 cup of beer
1 stick of COLD butter cut into cubes.
Some minced green onion to garnish.
Ready for the speed round?
Fuck yes.
Prepare your shrimp by de-veining them. Leave the shells on!
When cleaned, toss the shrimp with 1 tablespoon of the essence and reserve the other tablespoon.
Now we’ve got to mince up that garlic.
Then we gots, I say, we gots to juice that lemon!
Gather your shrimp ingredients together.
Grab a skillet and get that thing over a medium heat.
Shit yes I used my cast iron skillet! Take the tablespoon of cooking oil and coat the skillet with it. When the skillet is ready, in goes the minced garlic.
Quick stir here. Remember our motto that “Burnt Garlic Is Bullshit!” Just a few seconds of cooking then add in the shrimp and toss with the garlic.
Cook for a couple of minutes then in goes the lemon juice, the hot sauce, the other tablespoon of essence, the Worcestershire sauce and the lemon rind. Give it a biggol stir.
Now we’re gonna add in the beer and cook for about 2 minutes. We’re going to cook just until the shrimp turns that familiar shade of pink. Now in goes the cubes of butter. Use about 1/3 at a time.
Stir until the butter melts, then add in another 3rd of the butter, stir and melt, final 1/3 of butter then boosh!
Garnish with the green onion and this shit is ready for its close-up!
Let’s go ahead and plate our sides, shall we?
Remember why we made the bread? To sop up the juices from the barbecue shrimp? I ladled my shrimp into a bowl and grabbed a good amount of the juice for sopping. Slice yourself a few slices of bread and prepare the eating theater!
Other accessories will include an empty bowl to place your shrimp shells and a metric shit ton of napkins. Be forewarned though. This shit is MESSY!
You’re gonna eat some shrimp, then you’re gonna grab that bread and dip it into the sauce like so.
That’s the fucking BITE right there.
You’re gonna dig into those side dishes and you are going to just make an ungodly mess!
What I do before eating is grab yourself 3 ice cold beers and just line those fuckers up next to your plate. You’re going to kill them in ritualistic fashion while shrimp shells and bread crumbs and other shit is just bouncing off the ceiling.
Eat as the Lord intended! With some goddamn abandon!
I mean just look at this.
It’s savory, it’s succulent, it’s slightly spicy, it’s garlicky it’s buttery. It’s fucking insanely delicious is what it is.
Fast, simple and legendary!
Make this shit people. You deserve it!
As always, thanks for being there good folks. YOU are the reason Sunday Gravy exists.
Enjoy your – hopefully – long weekend.
See you next week.
PEACE!
I am LOVING the Hippo date scenarios. Y’all are awesome.
Well it was supposed to be a calm relaxing day. Then youngest right called and said she wanted to drive up from San Diego to visit, then Eldest right heard she was visiting and now I’ll be cooking for nine. Better start drinking in self defense.
It’s a shame Venmo making transactions public by default hasn’t destroyed more people by now
God is trying to wash the stink of Trump out of the racetrack.
“You spelled God wrong.”
-Gord
I’m enjoying the Scotchy Hippodate scenarios much moar than Fat Bastard further trashing up the NASCAR channel.
According to the right-wing Twatters, the Prez is awesome for 1) sitting in a plane that flew over a racetrack, and 2) sitting in a car that’s riding around a racetrack. Hurry up Coronadeath and wipe out either them or me.
Yeah, because we all want to take a lap at Daytona International Speedway as a passenger being driven on the apron.
“Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111”
-The President of the United States, right now
Is he hanging out the sunroof?
Would have to be sunroofs or perhaps a limovertible.
I swear to God, if the Presidential Limo blows a tire right now, the journey will have been worth it.
/right now
Crush: [riding Hippo] “I’m taking the over. Oh God, yeah…”
Hippo: [thrusting from below] “This feels right. Taking the under has never felt so goddamn good!”
Sadly, Hippo had an unexpected score late in the game and Crush failed to cover.
Oh, and we’re right into the men’s Ultimate championship! Hippo and tWBS favoUrite North Carolina against Brown.
We all know the Brown fight song right? “Oooooh, what’s the color of horseshit? BROWN, BROWN, BROWN!”
Trump: “I would love to hop into one of these cars and drive the Daytona 500.”
O/U until he crashes into the wall: 0.5 laps
O/U speed: 47 MPH
I’m not a prayerful man, but….
I don’t know why, but apparently some people are responding to Rage’s new tour by complaining that they didn’t support Gore enough
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3dvbM6Pias
To be fair
It might just be a response to the ticket prices
UC San Diego is your 2020 Womon’s NCAA Ultimate Frisbee champion.
/ right now (becuase Scotchnaut started it)
Crush: “Where do you see this relationship going?”
Hippo: “I definitely see us Placing. Or at the very least Showing.”
They keep talking about one team having a chance to “break the other upwind” and I keep snickering about breaking wind.
I’m holding my breath. If Trump is ever going to call for an army to rise up and march on Washington and overthrow the Legislative and Judicial Branches, you’d think it would be a bunch of gun-toting, redneck NASCAR fans.
Looking on from the Canadia perspective, these wanna-be heroes are gutless pieces of shit that will never accomplish anything, ever. This isn’t cartoon land.
That’s why he hasn’t. He knows his base is a bunch of lazy cowards.
ESPN is showing women’s Ultimate frisbee on one of their channels. Dartmouth and UC San Diego are tied at 9.
I had no idea this was a thing.
Yooooooo
Good timing, I’m in New Orleans right meow
The Daytona 500 is about to start. Here’s hoping Trump goes full Earnhardt.
You really think that son-of-a-bitch knows how to drive a car?
No, but I’m hoping he’ll try.
/right now
Crush: “I’m so comfortable when I’m with you. I feel I could tell you about my deepest desires…”
Hippo: “I feel the same way. [hesitates a bit] I think that Everton could finish 4th in the EPL this season.”
Counterpoint: No one thinks that.
Hockey takes Marty Brodeur a lot of places, but if Marty Brodeur hadn’t taken Marty Brodeur into his wife’s sister’s bed he’d probably have enough money to not do these commercials.
This is some banner type shit right here
/right now
Crush: “I’ll bet that you could show me a really good time.” [bats eyelashes]
Hippo: [eyes roll back into head] “Bet.bet bet bet bet bet bet bet bet bet bet bet.”
/right now
Crush: “My problem now is I have so many bills.”
Hippo: “What about pills? Do you have a lot of pills?”
Crush: …
Hippo and his date realize that they’re ignoring each other in favor of their phones.
Hippo: “I have to apologize, I was checking the lines on a….”
Crush: “…third-tier Hungarian football team? Me too!”
/Two hours later
No one ever gets that lucky.
5-1 Pittsborgh, good thing there’s only 8 minutes left in this second, and therefore last, half.
/right now
Hippo: “Do you like… things?”
Crush: “Why yes! How did you know?”
Last funny:
medieval artist: okay time to paint a baby. small?
me: that’s correct
artist: diaper?
me: yeah
artist: insanely fucking jacked
me: huh?
artist: old as HELL
me: that makes no-
artist: LOOKIN LIKE THEY HAVE A MORTGAGE
Jimmy Howard’s third W…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rGDzbV75EI
Filppula’s name reminds me of a waitress that wanted to have an open relationship with me while she scouted prospects that had way more money.* She invested all her tips in the stock market and now works for a major newspaper as a stock market anal list.
*Reader, I said ‘no’.
Detroit’s best hope for this game is that a terrorist organization takes the president (?) hostage and Jean Claude Van Damme comes in at goal for the Panguins, and the Wings can get a few goals back.
So you’re saying there’s a chance?
The Panthers have 5 captains, alternate or otherwise. NAWT FAIR.
“I heard a rumor that three out of five of them are black. Sweet!”
-J. Richardson, in exile
The Content Monster jumped on this guy’s back and it didn’t end well…
https://www.sny.tv/giants/news/does-tom-brady-make-sense-for-the-giants/312769368
[flexes in front of mirror, practices smiling] “You can do this, buddy. YOU CAN DO THIS!”
-Hippo, right now
Detroit with the classic “let two players from the other team screen the goalie at will” defensive stance.
[puffs out chest] I got another response from Brandon Perna on youtube again. What have you accomplished recently?
Jimmy Howard’s record is 2-21-2 this year. Jeezuz. I hope he lives on the first floor of his apartment building.
To be fair that is like 10% of Detroit’s total wins for the season though.
14%, actually.
Do they have some young talent coming up in the system? Ottawa seems to have drafted well recently but it’ll take a bit of time.
Their last 4 or 5 first round picks are still in the minors, I guess they’re getting better. If they all exceed expectations, Detroit could be a solid middle of the pack team in a few years.
Why don’t they just draft a Zetterberg or Datsyuk in the latter rounds? Sounds like the front office isn’t trying very hard.
Just scout more, geez!
When you think about it, it kinda is their job…
Murray?
Mary Tyler Moore is so proud right now.
Red Winglets gonna get disemboweled on national TV.
Should change their name to the Rad Wangs, just to get some new fans.
A score? What’s up with that?
We’re going back to the glorious days of it taking the Wings 40 years to become contenders again
Is Terry Sawchuck’s great grandson available in the draft this year?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUliAN4NYHU
BEST CHARACTER ON TEEVEE
I’m polite!
Why are you so cheap with your garlic? The correct amount is however much you can fit in a grocery bag. If you’re using a jar of diced garlic, they give you the equivalent on the label, but that’s a lie. The correct measurement is 1 clove = however much comes out when you turn the jar upside down.
NBSN Announcer: “His cross was disappointing”
Jesus of Nazareth: “Oh was it?
Grat, you have some construction experience/know-how, right? What kind of lumber would be resilient enough to crucify a motherfucker that fat?
You know. Just theoretically.
If Pork has a rind, that makes it a fruit, right?
Just got back from running an errand to the grocery store, where I forgot a bag and wound up stuffing six yogurt drinks and two protein drinks into my pockets while balancing the Sunday Times and a prescription bag in one hand and unlocking the car with the other and that was still more organized than Arsenal’s defense.
Mikel Arteta is still amazingly handsome, though.
I mean, if I had to…
1) Cheering for a draw is right difficult. Especially when Villa gives one up at the very death like that. Everton is gunning for 5th now, but that result was a reminder we can’t count on others to do our dirty work.
2) I also want Arsenal and Barcodes to draw. Fire from the rear worries me. But Barcodes getting relegated always makes Hippo smire.
3) Having a libation with “crush that isn’t gonna happen” at 2p. I have used the “date” word (though with enough humour for plausible deniability), so I can at least put her at #1 lifetime on “Most Attractive Woman to Even Have Pro-Forma Date With Hippo” ahead of the “pity date” my engineering school crush had with me towards the end of senior year.
“Fire from the rear worries me.”
Eh, that’s what penicilin’s for.
If she asks about your social circle just say, “He lives in northern Ontario-you wouldn’t know him”.
Found a funny:
we need to let boomers know that bloomberg is a racist piece of shit. it’s gunna hurt but we might have to get back on facebook
Bahahaha
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EQ2WDFJX0AsGnXo?format=jpg&name=4096×4096
If enough Sanders voters would just be ok with Warren, we could avoid even having the Bloomberg conversation. Warren quote which likely earned my primary vote:
But the fight between factions in our party has taken a sharp turn in recent weeks with ads mocking other candidates and with supporters of some candidates shouting curses at other democratic candidates.
These harsh tactics might work if you are willing to burn down the rest of the party in order to be the last man standing. They might work, if you don’t worry about leaving our party and our politics worse off than how you found it, and they might work if you think only you have all the answers and only you are the solution to all our problems. But if we’re going to beat Donald Trump in November, we are going to need huge turnout within our party and to get that turnout, we will need a nominee that the broadest coalition of our party feels like they can get behind.
Amen Sister!
She just makes so much sense. I want her to make news with a VP announcement (Castro or Sen. Harris), so I can get fully back on-board.
But this is the most confused I have EVER been ahead of a vote. My ex-wife is selling Mayor Pete hard. And I know she reads people better than I do.
I’m convinced Harris dropped out early so that she could be the VP candidate, and she should be because she’ll get the female and African-American bases out, theoretically. Now, if only the Democrats didn’t seem hell-bent on nominating either a Jewish socialist who’s coming off a heart attack at age 77 or a 38-year old gay male McKinsey alum who’s never done anything but keep Notre Dame’s street relatively clean I might have some small sense of optimism that we’re not gonna get another four years of this orange asshole.
If they allocate delegates by CD in NC, then I am reasonably sure Warren (who held a well-attended rally in Raleigh) will be viable here. That likely cements my vote.
Klobuchar has not been here, and there is an itch in the back of my mind re Mayor Pete that I just can’t scratch. Last dude who struck me similarly (after being initially impressed) was John Edwards, and look what a piece of shit he turned out to be.
There is something about him that gives me the creeps. I think you’re right that Warren should get her vp locked down, and I would be thrilled with either Harris os Castro.
This is ignoring the fact that Warren’s polling has dropped off considerably since she pivoted to more moderate stances, because for some fucking reason, people like that rat fucker Pete. This would be a non-issue, of course, if Warren would just tell her followers to go with Bernie.
That old saying “campaign in poetry, govern in prose.” She got too specific, and drew fire from left and right. A lot of it was bullshit, but still.
Warren won’t send people to Sanders. She is pissed off at how his people treated her. And rightly so. Plus, she worries about the health of the Party, which is something neither Sanders nor Bloomberg cares about.
Party has been shit for a long long time. Fuck the party imo. Was looking for a picture with that as a slogan, but just got page after page of orgy photos.
My fear is a brokered convention. No matter how that plays out, the Party will fracture and Trump will win.
I understand the feeling, but if we don’t somehow hang together…we are fucked. Like, fucked for good.
Like the people in the “fuck the party” google image search!
What was it? 43% too moderate, 44% too liberal, 7% on point?
She really made a genius move picking up those Hillary people
Warren is pretty cool
Warren is in this to sink Sanders. Fuck her and her supporters. That’s what you get for hiring the pros who lost a gimme race to Donald Fucking Trump.
Every time I look at twitter, someone is crowing about how Bloomberg is the better racist piece of shit billionaire, because he’s a REAL billionaire, and I want the rapture to start.
A nominee that turns stomachs of both Grat and Hippo…seems unwise. Plus, he has the personality of a doorstop.
The only way I vote for Bloomberg is if he offers to fund a public works guillotine project out of pocket and volunteers to test it out personally
LOL
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EQ4oWm7UwAI564p?format=jpg&name=900×900
Looks great man. Too bad I’m still not back aboard the “Shrimp Train”.
Ooooof
Anyone else have Teletoon’s Jetsons/WWE crossover movie on in the background?
/Mr.Spacely is still a shouty dickbag, btw.
This the porn version??
/I is watching the surprisingly entertaining Spurs/Villa fixture. 2-2, and could easily be 4-4.
“Hmmm, this new vacuum attachment for Rosie looks… fun.”
I will make the bread as well. *bookmarked*
I’m learning that the shape of the bread is really critical. The longer and more tapered, the crustier the bread will be.
YUM. How does one keep one’s kitchen from smelling like a back-alley abortion clinic, though? Cook only during “windows open all day” weather? And only right before trash day?
If the shrimp is fresh I’ve never had too much trouble with the smell. Frying fish is most definitely a different proposition.
Although most every day here is windows open all day weather as well.
You would most definitely have lingering felines at your feet during preparation.
I tried pan-frying fish once. ONCE. Unfortunately for me, I tried it while my then-wife was pregnant. She could have murdered me, and would have been well in the right.
Yep it’s grilled outdoors from here on out.
That’s the rule at our house: Fish is strictly warm weather and strictly on the outdoor grill.
Put the shrimp shells in a bag, close the bag & toss it in the garbage, let the garlic in butter fill the house.
Delish. Easy like Sunday morning.
The pic of the shrimp at the top is one hell of a money shot! Nicely done!