Morning! Except in Europe. Saturday morning Open Thread.

Good morning, bet you I am up before this posts! I usually have no problem when my spawn wakes up at an ungodly hour but when he is up before Italia football that is an issue. IT IS 8 HOURS AHEAD!!!! There are no matches today so I pray the wee man sleeps until 5:30 am my time. About Italy, no fans allowed.  This will be interesting in the betting world because the home team advantage is muted sans crazy people. Do you think they will do this in North America? The Ice Niners were chastised for playing the other night. Over here it seems that the show must go on and the owners pockets must get fatter.

30 Helens agree that you should wash your hands regularly.

What do we have this morning?

In our early tilt Liverpool v The Neneh Cherries. This will be a paddlin. Liverpool has stubbed its toe lately and may be looking ahead to their Champions League matchup with Athletico.

The notable game during the Premiership’s heavy flow window is a North London derby. West Ham visits Arsenal. Fronk’s Hammers realllly need the points and would hope to nick at least one on this visit. I don’t like West Ham as I feel they sold their soul by leaving Upton Park. Howevah they belong in the top flight as they are a “big club”.

The late game is Burnley hosting Spurs. I’ve said before that teams get the Burnley flu as it’s usually cold, dingy, has a small pitch where the fans are on top of you. Diva players hate playing there and with Spurs injured and faltering Jose will want to fire up his troops.

SInce I all know you care, Mighty Whitey visits somewhere called Bristol City. The London Jaguras are in 3rd so not in the automatic promotion spots and have been chasing Leeds Utd and West Brom. I hope all 3 of these teams will get promoted as Leeds should really be in the prem and probably still would be if not for those damn kids. (financial issues) West Brom is managed by Bilic who is another swarthy Slav and I always have had an affinity for their style of play.

It is coming along. Riverside Stand, Craven Cottage, Fulham.

Lets get to some SexiMexi futbol. Our own BallsofSteelandFury has gotten me addicted to the LigaMx. It may have been the Puebla jersey he sent me or perhaps the fact that it is fucking unpredictable and really fun!!! Things that I’ve caught on to are that home field advantage means a shit tonne and never count the home team out. Monterrey are frauds and even though they won last season starting in the playoffs 8 hole, they’re still frauds and I have won a bunch of money knowing this. They play another fraudulent team in San Luis who are owned by Athletico Madrid. Can’t trust ’em either. Queretaro is also truly unpredictable, they zig when you think they will zag. Hands off betting on these clowns.

In Germany Munchies Glad to be Back plays Dortmund, that is some hot 3rd vs 4th action right there. Haaland is a beast and all he does is score goals.

The Bundesliga will be a race right to the finish with 5 clubs in the mix. Whenever Dortmund plays it gives me the excuse to post this!

So the question of the day is how do you think sports will be played this summer? In front of no fans? Business as usual in North America as we have seen Italy take measures? Cancelled (Olympics)?

In closing another skit from Burnistoun.

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litre_cola
- A pugs best friend. - Wine drinker. - Loves to use the letter U behind O. - Iggles fan, Fulham FC (Mighty Whitey) supporter, Cavalry FC Ultra. - One of the resident futbol freaks at the clubhouse.
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scotchnaut

Holy crap, there’s a White Power rally on ESPN! [looks closer] Ahhh, sorry, it’s just crowd shots from the Wisconsin/Indiana game. Whew!

King Hippo

Fulham done played today ,, smh

scotchnaut

The tundra was… unforgiving. Need a new shovel.

King Hippo

Battle FOAR Bo-Russia en espanol!

King Hippo

teevee box is muted, but looked like Mourinho was being his usual cunt self

bk109

… We …. Didn’t Drop Some Points? WHAT SORT OF SORCERY IS THIS?!

Horatio Cornblower

I feel so…strange, and light-headed…I don’t know what’s going on…I

/wife, from the other room

YOU’RE STILL GETTING OVER BRONCHITIS YOU FUCKING DUMMY, NOW GO LIE DOWN!!!

King Hippo

ah will go stand on line fo’ your fancy beers if you get me a nice big bottle of Tussinex

Horatio Cornblower

Got a fridge full downstairs. Haven’t had a drink in a week plus.

I really need to suck it up and defeat this sobriety problem.

King Hippo

Every time I starts to feel depressed, I remember…Diamond Joe Biden is gonna be President this time next year.

Horatio Cornblower

Sure.

Let’s go with that.

King Hippo

IS ALL I HAVE LEFT GODDAMNIT

bk109

Well, shit, kidnap a nubile young starlet and you really won’t give a fuck about politics anymore… I suggest taking Brie Larson, ’cause NO ONE would be in a hurry to find and rescue her XD

Dunstan

A Joe Biden presidency is like a 93rd birthday — sure, it’s better than the alternative, but you’re not likely to enjoy it.

King Hippo

The Onion memes come back, likely Dr. Jill Biden will do most of the Presidenting. What’s not to love?

bk109

Yeah, people were saying that about Hillary (or how Trump was unelectable)… I’m sorry, but unless the DNCC tells Bernie to join the party or fuck off, this Democratic infighting would give Donald a fucking shot….. Hell, at this point I’m actually seeing Bernie or Bloomberg throwing a hissy fit and appearing on the ballot as an independent

King Hippo

nah, Biden rallies the BASE THAT VOTES. Black folks and suburbanites. Grat was/is a Bernie guy, he’d still vote Biden in November.

bk109

Again, we saw the exact same shit in 2016, so … pardon me not thinking that the US voters won’t faceplant again…

King Hippo

NO WE DID NAE. The problem was…folks just didn’t like HillyBob. People like Biden as a human, even if they are iffy on his politics. He may be half-senile, but that would still be a mental health improvement.

Fucking Trump was doing “get out the vote” rallies for Republicans to cross over and vote Bernie. That tells one all one needs to know.

King Hippo

2nd thing – Biden will be better at building bridges once the primary season is over. It’s one of his best qualities. Plus, Warren will help. She’s 100% a team player.

bk109

Mate, I’ll have to see it to believe it, ’cause people have been voting “weird” for awhile now, so … we’ll just have to see…

Dunstan

I’m “cautiously optimistic” — I think we’ve got good reasons for hope, but there’s a ton of ways this can go bad. Again.

Gumbygirl

I was encouraged by the increase in voter turnout on Super Tuesday. If that carries over to November, we’ll win.

Dunstan

Difficult for those guys to do, because many states have “sore loser” laws that preclude you from running for one party in the primary and then another (or independent) in the general. Which doesn’t mean you can’t run in the other states, but it becomes harder to pretend you’re doing anything other than being a spoiler.

I don’t think Bloomberg would be inclined anyway — his mission was to prevent a Sanders (or Warren) nomination, so he’s satisfied if a little embarrassed.

Which doesn’t mean we won’t have third party spoiler candidates for the disgruntled to demonstrate their piousness. Tulsi Gabbard is clearly itching to pull a Jill Stein 2.0 and won’t care about being labelled a spoiler, it’ll just help secure her post-election gig as a Fox News contributor from the “left.”

King Hippo

Tulsi will likely do it, but her voters were always going weirdo anyway. Bernie won’t, because he’s not stupid.

I will always love Sen. Warren for how she flayed Bloomberg, and made this Diamond Joe Rides Again era possible.

Horatio Cornblower

The longest year of my life is going to be watching Arsenal cling to a 1-0 lead for five minutes.

King Hippo

Spring is sprung, the shelters be pushing folk out of doors…

Horatio Cornblower

Guy named Sokratis making a bad decision late that could have wiped out everything he’d worked for?

Seems about right.

bk109

VAR DECISION – GOAL!
Arsenal 1-0 West Ham

After a lengthy check, Arsenal can celebrate.

…. how far we’ve gone in just a couple of years and yet people laughed when I said back then that we’d be longing for the end-stage Wenger years before too long… WHO IS MAD NAO!? AH WHOOOO!?!??!…. OH YEAH?! TELL THAT TO MY TANK COLLECTIO… ah, I see your point

Horatio Cornblower

Arsenal’s got 11 minutes to pull a point out of 3.

Get your bets in now.

bk109

Oh, sod off… We’re more than capable of pulling a straight-up defeat outta the jaws of victory!

King Hippo

a Moyes side, away to a Sky Five/Six opponent??

King Hippo

Saints losing at home to Barcodes. PLEASE GO DOWN, YE MONKEYFUCKERS

King Hippo

Maybe they want Toffees to have they Europa slot? We really needs a spot of help.

Horatio Cornblower

Probably parvovirus

bk109

Pornovirus?

King Hippo

ppl really are getting all judge-y when one pulls one’s cock out on teh subway now

King Hippo

Can I still call Moyes dour ginger cunt now that he’s all grey?

Horatio Cornblower

I’ve seen less work on reconstructions involving traffic fatalities

Horatio Cornblower

VAR that shit!

King Hippo

GOAL? Offside lady sez nah.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I am on my way to Universal Studios with Lady Commander. I look forward to stopping by RTD’s unannounced afterwards to expose him to whatever viruses I happen to pick up throughout the day.

King Hippo

when in doubt, lick a stranger in the face

Horatio Cornblower

Goddamn our coach is a good looking man.

King Hippo

He really is. That aspect of him choosing y’all over Everton hurts. Even though Don Carlo es perfecto.

King Hippo

though my two Championship bets are losing by a combined tally of 6-nil

Horatio Cornblower

The Orioles are going to lose all of them?

Horatio Cornblower

David Luis is down?

Goes to get a doughnut

Horatio Cornblower

Declan Rice has the pale skin and determined look of a Hapsburg on his way to unify the empire by marrying his 2nd cousin.

King Hippo

goddamnit, Barnsley

King Hippo

There have been what, 2 shots on target in 65 minutes of play? Moyes will masturbate to the film.

Horatio Cornblower

Arsenal fans applauding their team for getting the ball back after only losing 30 yards of territory is about as clear a case of Stockholm Syndrome as I’ve ever seen.

bk109

Nah, it’s just that Kroenke raised the prices for the suicide booths and the effigy kits sold in the fan shop…

Horatio Cornblower

When I chose to root for Arsenal I did not know Kroenke owned the team.

Suffice it to say that would have factored heavily in my decision to look elsewhere.

King Hippo

a #BFIB buddy knew of him (he’s an Illinois fan), says he’s an awesome dude. He’s currently shunning UI, but buddy says with good reason

King Hippo

yeah, but the YES genesis is just perfectly Murrican. Much like how I decided Everton reminded me of NC State (yet somehow I did nae run away screaming).

/we should all re-recite our Lesser origin stories, dunno if Fronk ever told us what made him a Hammer?

Horatio Cornblower

YES is no longer associated with Arsenal, instead switching to Manchester City.

And I will be goddamned before I make that switch.

King Hippo

yep, once you choose you is stuck FOAR LYF

bk109

Yeah, that happened after I picked them, though way back in the day when men were men and Fifa 98 (The Road To The World Cup) was the greatest thing ever, I only really picked them because of their team colours and crest, without realizing what sort of frustration and pain I’m signing up for…. And then the sentient parasitic toupee attached to DAMN YOU KROENKE showed up 😀

King Hippo

Speaking of Gene and Dean Ween…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYg3CFVAyP4

Horatio Cornblower

Just realized I have the banner for pointing out what a shit human Vince McMahon is, so now, in the height of irony, I can get coronavirus and die happy.

Fronkenshteen

0-0 is not happening. I hope West Ham doesn’t think it might.

King Hippo

u noe who ur manager is ,, rite??

bk109

The bestest EVAR manager in Everton’s history and one you can never hope to adequately replace?
/me ducks and covers

King Hippo

ah will CUT YEEEEEEWWWWWW

/Howard Fucking Kendall, anyone??

//also Viva el Don Carlo!!!!

bk109

Forget it, Hippo, it’s Everton … No one cared :p (mostly kidding, but in all fairness you lot were always the “discount Liverpool” team for most of the civilized world)

King Hippo

u just keep making it worse smh

bk109

… Wait, you thought I was trying to make things better? Why would I be doing such a silly thing?!

Horatio Cornblower

I’m gonna need you to clarify that, as when you ask Arsenal to “do something” they’re just as likely to do something horrifyingly bad as they are do something good.

bk109

Yeah, last time I screamed for them to do something, we crashed out in Arsenalian fashion outta the bloody Europa league 😀

Horatio Cornblower

See? This guy knows.

Fronkenshteen

Watford bouncing to the moon.

Fronkenshteen

We might get one on a set piece today. Also, David Luis looks like Dean Ween now.

King Hippo

holy shit that’s exactly rite!!

Fronkenshteen

Pepe good. That is all.

Horatio Cornblower

I, too, enjoy watching Pepe dribble through three defenders, only to see the rest of the team either offsides or standing around with their thumbs in their asses.

King Hippo

Is he gonna plow all over Central Europe?

bk109

Firstly, homeland is stretching it … I may’ve been born there, but it was never home. Anyway, my birth-country‘s behaviour is basically shite… in fact, shite enough that the last time Bulgaria played England, some fuckwads got so racist, it made people view the English as the poor victims.
Exhibit 1(st google result) – https://www.bbc.com/sport/football/50212951

King Hippo

so…he should deffo whistle at every white woman he sees ,, amirite??

bk109

Actually, he should score and the other side woud be too stunned to mouth off and the Loko faithful will throw fireworks and burning stadium seats at those that still try to chirp him….

King Hippo

see, I needs to go there, these is MY PPLS

bk109

Mate, they’re not even your genus…

King Hippo

sheeeeit, I would nae even qualify to be a janitor at MENSA

bk109

… Way to run a taxonomy joke into the fucking ground 😀

King Hippo

oh yeah, Hammers are a Dour Scottish Cunt Moyes side!

bk109

… you managed to escape and evade a weekend grocery run with your spouse?! … MAH GAWD, SIR, YOU DESERVE A STATUE! (not at all sarcastic!)

King Hippo

is funny, I could go on requested late night runs 3x, but when the wife wanted to shop during FITBAW…somehow it was evil for me not to go too

King Hippo

Team Knifey and Norwich sounds ok.

King Hippo

Had to because the stream wasn’t working.

bk109

Drools: https://tanks-alot.co.uk/product/centurion-avre/
On one hand, my wife would kill me… On the other, she can’t kill me if I’m buttoned up inside one of these… Or,if y’know, I just send that to her Dad, who’s nuts for CEVs (probably ’cause he used to be a combat engineer in the Swedish army)
Edit; She saw my joke and reminded me that she’s a certified ATGM gunner XD … Whelp, sending to her Dad, then.

King Hippo

Once again…when the Zombie Apocalypse comes, everyone reconnoiter at BK’s place.

bk109

Uh, unless you bring a tribute of the young nubile starlet variety, “No Vacancy” 😀

bk109

Uh, yes and no. Yes, you can buy and best part, they’re classified under the same class as “retro/unique” cars, so taxes are actually lower than a bloody VW Golf’s. The “No” is that I’ve got them registered in Sweden, ’cause we have a nice big cottage next door to the in-laws’ farm with what is now a combined plot of land, so there’s plenty of open space to have fun.
Also, if you ever decide to go into the tank-nut camp, I’d suggest you buy ex-Warsaw Pact direct from like Russia, Ukraine…., ’cause then the prices become actively insane – ie a fully working main battle tank (modified T-55) cost me like 10k ‘MURRICAN and a pair of APCs (well, one APC and one IFV) were 3k 😀 … And yes, all were running. Unfortunately, you have to sign a waiver pinky-swearing not to re-sell those to unsavoury people and that you have to demilitarize them (though there are ways to do that without it being to permanent :D)

Horatio Cornblower

$10K, you say?

Look’s like I just got the upper hand against my neighbor in our annual battle of where the raked up leaves are going to be thrown. “Oh, another pile on what is clearly my property, Carol? That’s a warning shot through the kitchen, that what that is.”

King Hippo

oof, should have been the winner there

King Hippo

Maximum Fulhamish at the death

King Hippo

that wuz MIGHTY WHITE of Cairney!!!

bk109

Completely unrelated – screw new consoles – just buy a Raspberry Pi4 an’ just use it as a retro console. It’s fucking great 😀 (and it’s like sub-100 with a basically limitless potential … AND that’s including some snazzy retro-looking enclosure, like a SNES or PS1 lookalike 😀 )

bk109

#GoonerLife in a nutshell 😀

King Hippo

deffo studs up

King Hippo

ugh, that whole sequence was shite

King Hippo

Watching on ESPN+, Bristol look like poo.

bk109

Or a quick donation to the ref’s retirement fund :p

Fronkenshteen

So, what the hell is going on with Liverpool? Where are they losing effectiveness? The back line?

King Hippo

My regular chicken sacrifices finally started to work?

King Hippo

/also SHAME ON YEEEWWWW for making me think the Cherries done equalized

Fronkenshteen

DAMN near.

bk109

Bish, puuuuuhleeze… You’re only choking the chicken, ’cause you discovered the bonkers awesomeness of Scarlett Johansson’s role in Under The Skin 😀

King Hippo

I would watch her read the fookin’ phone book

bk109

Everyone would… But would you watch her walk around nekkid and submerging people into some black goo thing? …

King Hippo

Woke to find my early Etar bet was good until the 88th goddamned minute. Fucking figures.

King Hippo

I couldn’t get decent odds to bet y’all. Went with Hull and Barnsley instead. Sarmiento in Argie later.

bk109

Stop betting on Bulgarian football damn it. Also, fun fact – i used to live in an appartment block named after that football team 😀

King Hippo

they seem like a bunch that would wear track suits everywhere. Es verdad?

ballsofsteelandfury

Liga MX is indeed fun and unpredictable. Plus, the coaching turnover rate is dizzying.

Fronkenshteen

Morning gents! Go hammers!!!

bk109

… Go Hammers? Sure, why not… Congrats on the win in advance. Good, solid game, the ref jobbed us,blah-blah…
Can we just call it a 3-goal win for WHU and not even bother spinning the Wheel-O-Arsenal again this week to see how shite we’re …

bk109

I stayed the fuck away from betting on my merry band of incompetents, but I did put a win in the FootyTips round, so … 3 goal win for WHU XD

bk109

way ahead of you on that front 😀 I’m also laughing my arse off, ’cause one of the neighbours is celebrating a new car too and the look of despair and pain on his face, when he was talking how it was a “joint decision” to trade in his WRX for a FIAT 500L is priceless… (Which,btw, unless I’m mistaken is a fucking two-cylinder jobbie 😀 )

bk109

No, my male (and at judging by his pregnant wife) straight neighbour sold his decidedly awesome imported from Japan tuned to perfection Impreza WRX STI C-spec… for a no-liter fucking Fiat 😀 Btw, I though the lesbian’s Subaru of choice were the Outback and Forrester?

Either way, I ain’t trading my RS7 for a fuckin’ FIAT (no, not even one of those Ferrari ones)

ballsofsteelandfury

Does your neighbor’s wife have his balls on display on the fireplace mantle or on top of her bedroom dresser?

bk109

She drives a Prius and ACTS like a Prius driver … does that answer your question? 😀

King Hippo

rock, flag, and eagle BITCHES!!

bk109

Not an issue, mate 😀 I have an RS7 (though it pains me to say it’s slightly hybrid!), wifey drives an SQ7, we share custody of my RS8 (fun fact, if you save a company a fuckload of money in a non-scummy/legally liable way, you get the funniest gifts 😀 ) … Ah, yeah, and we have a barnload of tanks in Sweden, with some actually doing 1 MPG 😀

bk109

Heh, AFC Jason Bournemouth did a good… Yay!

bk109

Afternoon ya assorted dick joke purveyors and outright pervosaurs! How’re ya this fine-arse (new) car day 😀