NFL Nuggets:
- As noted on the weekend, New England is once again Hoyer Country.
- It’s a one-year, $1.05 million deal.
- Combined with the $2 million the Colts owe him after cutting him – because he “stank like Brady” said Philip Rivers (source?) – he will earn $3.05 million minimum this year.
- The one-time Super Bowl ring acquiring backup will compete with 2019 fourth-round draft pick Jarrett Stidham and five-year veteran Cody Kessler for the starting job.
- It’s a one-year, $1.05 million deal.
- XFL Houston Roughnecks quarterback P.J. Walker is turning the season’s suspension to his advantage by signing with the Carolina Panthers.
- He will backup new Panthers QB Teddy Bridgewater.
- One reason he chose Carolina is that he played at Temple under new Panthers coach Matt Rhule.
Finally, the Rams went & made the logo that leaked last week official.
Of course, the internet has had its fun with “Ram Head”,
I have fixed the Rams logo pic.twitter.com/KYW2wxMgH6
— Dave Rappoccio (@DrawPlayDave) March 23, 2020
not to mention that that name brings up over 1200 disturbing results on PornHub.
Someone paid good money for all this abuse. Given the unhappy ending, I would have assumed Dean Spanos.
Today’s good internet dog is Snoopy, because it’s #NationalPuppyDay.
Happiness is having a puppy #NationalPuppyDay pic.twitter.com/rvAzTlsFUw
— PEANUTS (@Snoopy) March 23, 2020
And here’s the (revisionist) moment when Charlie Brown met Snoopy for the first time.
Tonight’s … entertainment?:
- Classic NHL – 7:00 PM | NBCSN
- From 2013: Toronto at Boston in Game 7 of their Eastern Conference quarterfinal series.
- The Leafs, and their fans, get their hearts ripped out in the third period. It’s fucking awesome.
- From 2013: Toronto at Boston in Game 7 of their Eastern Conference quarterfinal series.
- ESPN Films: O.J. Made In America – ESPN / TSN
- Episode 1: 7:00PM
- Episode 2: 9:00PM
- MLB:
- Blue Jays Classic – 1992 ALCS Game #4 – 8:00PM | Sportsnet
- WWE: Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
- The Road to a Pre-Taped Wrestlemania continues apace.
- Antiques Roadshow – 8:00 PM | PBS
- From the Desert Botanical Garden, Phoenix, AZ
- “Phenomenal finds include Neil Armstrong-signed Apollo 11 Moon Landing photos and a Tongan war club.”
- From the Desert Botanical Garden, Phoenix, AZ
- Better Call Saul – 9:00PM | AMC
- Episode title: “Wexler V. Goodman”
- COPS – 10:00PM | Paramount (Spike)
- It’s Cops, dumbasses, and probable violations of civil rights. Perfect television for the end times.
A solid evening of TV, in this viewer’s opinion.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTnfbdiQztY
Okie doke….time to go and probably fall asleep halfway through last week’s episode of Better Call Saul. Again.
Have a nice night folks.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-98RjrmqO4
It’s been pretty quiet here in Wichita (neutral):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jxEorLOGfE
Of course that’s b/c as with everything else (fashion, food, etc.) we are 3-6 months behind the east and west coasts.
That ninja tried to kill my father!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DLuALBnolM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_lXw5BEyu0
Fucking Bakersfield.
“We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold.”
fucking colored radio stations
It’s going to be fun bidding adieu to civilization here with y’all over the next couple of months. I mean, let’s be honest, a lot of folks aren’t going to survive the initial wave. And for those that do, you’re probably going to wish that you hadn’t survived the first or second scything.
civilization ain’t going nowhere. let your foot heal and quit listening to your fellow texans. between you and unsurprised (who i’ve met) you’d think a meteor had hit the earth. stop it. i was a machinist’s mate i know what i’m talking about.
Agreed. Casualties aside, this isn’t going to end human civilization.
Unfortunately perhaps.
Fucking MMs I ever met (as well as BTs and ENs) could all cross-thread a fucking light bulb.
—Former MR2 who had to have magical heli-coil skillz.
i was a nuke mm2, trained by rickover. i should be able to vote twice in any district i am registered in.
By your logic, Jimmy Carter should be able to vote three or four times. I heartily concur.
He’s still alive and has a kick-dick commissioned U.S. Navy attack submarine (USS Jimmy Carter SSN-23) named after him so I guess he gets to vote ten times.
Amy Lee would love me if she ever met me. Well for a coupla weeks anyway. That seems to be my average expiration date.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5anLPw0Efmo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RrA-R5VHQs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbSFlGqJvHk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdhqVtpR2ts
Going on day five of my voluntary self-quarantine in Los Angeles after a flight from Canada, I can assure you that I have probably killed all the germs in my body, and all the brain cells as well. God bless President Truman.
You obviously need moar weed.
OH I GOT WEED
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QC6z0nz03JI
did everyone here die of corona virus? am i the only one left?
By the time we got to Woodstock, we were half a million strong.
Yes, you’re all alone. Enjoy!
So, are we in for a little bit of The Terror, as in late-1780s through mid 1790s France, or 1348 Europe Black Plague? Or maybe a little from Column A and a little from Column B?
I got some nominees for the guillotine, if that’s the direction it goes….
i think the residents of Berlin or Tokyo in 1945 would question your idea of “terror”
I visited the Ground Zero museum in Nagasaki 35 years ago. There is (was?) stuff on display there that would turn your stomach. Nothing that was ever printed up for USA consumption, I can assure you.
Clyde had a TERRIBLE sing voice, but insisted on always sing the hits loudly.
Apparently the anatomically ‘correct’ vibrating robot is quite popular.
that’s back when life was groovy
I had a reel-to-reel tape deck up until about 1992. It was a Teac that my dad bought at the BX at Clark Air Base in about 1965 or so, when I was there attending Kindergarten and 1st grade. He was “home” at Clark for 90 days and then TDY 90 days in the jungles of Thailand and Vietnam setting up communications infrastructure for the F-105 and F-4 airbases.
I was cheering for an impaling.
Oh well.
So lunch.
My position, stolen from the GOP
https://www.theonion.com/if-the-heat-doesnt-kill-the-elderly-i-will-1819584213
I would like to switch government to large corporations, but hey; the Patriot Act wasn’t enough.
It’s been done…
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rollerball_(1975_film)
The Japanese Empire that famously lost the war in 1945 was essentially a government of corporations. Google Zaibatsu. Most were old family dynasties, and many were broken up by Douglas MacArthur during the U.S. occupation.
Or look up Chaebol – the Korean equivalent they let grow to prevent South Korea becoming communist.
If anybody wants a viewing recommendation, here’s God’s Angry Man (1981), a 48-minute documentary by Werner Herzog (my vote for the greatest living filmmaker) about Dr. Gene Scott, who for years presided over the Los Angeles Cathedral (the beautiful United Artists theater) on Broadway when downtown L.A. was just a vacant shell. He famously put up the “JESUS SAVES” sign that I believe is now a registered landmark.
Scott was mesmerizing to watch on TV because he would rant and rave and had none of the oily-ness of TV preachers.
Werner Herzog made this film in 1981. Scott died in 2005.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mquN3ejAp1A
I remember him from the old black-and-white TV days, late at night when they couldn’t sell any ad space. He was fucking great.
And Herzog killed a guy because he wouldn’t bite his thumb off in a Tom Cruise film a few years ago. Klaus Kinski would have certainly approved.
Herzog is the greatest
Aguirre and Fitzcarraldo are both works of genius that I can no longer bear to watch as I get older. Too fucking disturbing.
Anyone else watching ‘Dispatches From Elsewhere’ after Saul? Can’t decide if I like it or not, but it’s weird enough to keep me coming back.
Pretty sure that’s what my college girlfriend said about me, come to think of it.
I already hear dispatches in my head.
Yes. Because of this thing you said. I think it’s good so far, two episodes in. I like weird. That’s what I miss about living in bigger cities. It’s where the weird folks are.
Just made fresh pasta for the first time.
I’m not just eating and drinking myself to death, I’m LEARNING NEW SKILLS DAMNIT!
My wife is ordering edibles online, I am so proud. That’s right BC DICK!
You go ahead and pay those taxes. Government will just piss it away on tests and sanitizer.
Cheaper than when we were in Salmon Arm. Direct from Mota
Nice. They make good ones.
Mine recently smuggled some over the porous MA/CT border.
I’m in love with a felon.
BUILD A WALL!!
Man, can I borrow your wife for a couple days? Not for any funny business; rather, just to take advantage of her ordering-edibles-online prowess.
I hate living in fucking Utah.
At this point, I just plain hate living. No matter where.
Depending on where in Utah, you are in striking distance of either Nevada or Colorado. Road trip!
I stood in line at the dispensary in San Bernardino the other day. The clever people ordered online from Leafly, and strolled right in. Next time I will be one of the clever people!
“YOU AREN’T MY REAL DAD!!”
Cats shouldn’t wear shoes.
This bottle cap says “Tools required.” Luckily, I’m a lawyer – the biggest tool in the world
I want to alienate everyone I know on Facebook.
“Get the fuck off Facebook and Twitter, for the love of God and your sanity!”*
*Advice from his therapist and everyone that cares about him, which he continually ignores
Trying again.
I am on facebook but don’t even have the app. Twitter is for my futbol coverage, so politics bleed into it but not too bad. Apart from following Dan Rather, that dude is amazing.
Plenty of us tools around. Does it say how many of us are required?
“The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers”.
—Dick the Butcher, Henry VI, Part 2, Act IV, Scene 2, Billy Shakespeare
Eli Manning Pets.
Brick killed a guy.
Scotchy is behind you.
Manning Family Pets.
Nice!
University of Tennessee immediately begins coverup by firing and intimidating cat.
Feels good, man.
Bet the car behind him has to have the wipers on max speed.
Can’t even tell he’s zip-tied to the pillar.
Is there going to be poker tonight?
#Metoo
Pretty sure none of these guy are starting at the beginning of the season; they are still looking for the starter. These guys are backups. If things fall through and one of these tomato cans start it WILL BE FUCKING HILARIOUS.
Kind of interesting how the impending collapse of the Patriots is going to be mirrored by the impending collapse of civilization.
If god is a New England fan, well, that would explain a lot of his behaviour.
I prefer to think of it as Satan coming to collect his end of the bargain
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skGEBgePHtk
Holy shit they made it WAY too easy for Rappoccio.
The taint of the logo……
Screw it, might as well do it tonight…
Sometime in the late 90s, can’t remember exactly when, a client brought her dog in because he kept vomiting. She had to leave and go to work. And she was also weird as hell in general. Plus she like liked me, and also always smelled like garlic.
But that’s beside the point…
So I’m monitoring this dog for a couple of hours and he will not stop vomiting. Try to give him water, it comes right back up. So I start him on IV fluids. But now he’s spiking a fever. I take radiographs and see there’s something in the small intestines. Looks like a tumor. I call the girl and she gives me the go ahead to open the dog up. So I do.
I get in there and open up the part of the intestine where the haze was on the radiographs. Da fuq is that???? In the words of Arnold Schwarzenegger …. IT’S NAWT A TUMAH!!!!!!
Turns out the girl had been ummmm…. well let’s say it this way. The dog had eaten/swallowed a pair of her panties with a used “pad” that she apparently just tossed on the floor. And it had blocked his GI tract.
Dog did fine post op. Woman was embarrassed as hell. She never asked me out again.
Well, my intestines are larger and I choose panties that are smaller, but I regularly pass a pair every week or so. Not from a Japanese vending machine, though.
Would it be considered out of order for me as a dog owner/lover to ask you as a veterinarian some advice regarding my rapidly aging canine population? I trust my vet as a human, who does pro bono work for the local ASPCA shelter, but he is a TX A&M Aggie and I feel sometimes that his advice is geared towards keeping my dogs alive as long as possible not because he loves dogs but because he can extend my profitabiliy.
Not at all out of order. Happy to help if I can.
Thanks. I’ll put something together to post when I see you are online in the next couple of days. Their condition is just adding to my overall anxiety in these trouble times.
Sounds good. For now I’ll say this though. My philosophy in guiding the type things I THINK you’re talking about is if the good is outweighing the bad… i.e. if they’re still getting more enjoyment than pain from life, then keep going.
Sometimes you hit the gray area where it’s difficult to know that, of course. But once you cross over, it becomes pretty clear usually.
But yeah, hit me up when you want. Even msg by email privately if that’s better.
[email protected]
Been watching the final season of Man in the High Castle
There’s a rumor out there, and I’m too lazy to confirm so I’ll just push it as true, that they were told to lighten up the story as it had been too dark in past seasons.
“These Nazis are too mean! Maybe let’s throw in a little song-and-dance episode to lighten things up!”
Completely missing the point of the book.
I made it to through the second episode and it was so stupid and wretched that I think anyone watching it is a fucking idiot.
Same goes for Handmaid’s Tale. As someone whose past time is writing dystopian fiction, it’s fucking embarrassing.
“You’re sorta convicted but not really, maybe.”
-F. Kafka
Is this that Weeds; the Third Floor show?
Philosophical point – one’s alcoholism (or say, a moderate pill habit) isn’t really crippling…if it helps you stay shut in your house/room like a good citizen.
Yea pretty much.
Hey, I drink way too much. When able, I smoke too much weed. Fuck it, I can still make sound decisions (usually) and have never hurt myself or anyone else or stolen anything to support a habit.
Snoopy was cute as a puppy. But if we’re being honest, he kinda turned into a dick.
That’s nawt Thanksgiving!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1w6faOERqr0
Peppermint Patty was a real dick during that Thanksgiving.
HE WAS A DOG THAT WAS PUT IN CHARGE OF THANKSGIVING DINNER! GIVE HIM SOME GOTDAMN SLACK!
OH, he can win a Christmas Lights contest but can’t cook a fucking turkey?
I mean, a dog will eat pretty much anything. Can’t expect them to be too nuanced with food preparation.
Would’ve been a sock, something dead, and his own shit if my dog made dinner. Snoopy even cooked the corn and the bread!
Someday soon I’m going to have to tell you folks about one of the grossest surgeries I ever performed.
Holy shit. I had forgotten about that.
They don’t bury bones; THEY AGE THEM!!
Dogs have no idea about ‘internal temperature’! and ‘resting period’. Julia Child covered this in her book, “DOGS DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT COOKING, GODDAMMIT!”.
LMFAO
He couldn’t cook two fucking turkeys. He saved the bird for him and Woodstock. You know, also a bird.
Woodstock was a fucking gangster. He didn’t care.
Didn’t he fly fighters for the Kaiser? I’m probably misremembering.
Someone brightening the mood on Twitter by sharing funny Mets images
/Baltimore notices .432 winning pct foar Marlins
//Becomes very envious
Found a funny:
birthday parties are cancelled. you are this age forever now.
Saturday was my next door neighbor’s daughter’s 16th b-day. They had a big get-together planned and all that. She was very disappointed when it all had to be called off. But I’ll let her know she’ll be 16 forever now.
Poor Nazi Rolf had no idea what he was getting himself into.
“The Surge” worked in Iraq, why don’t we just use it against the charlemagnevirus
Sean Hannity just got his first erection since Trump was inaugurated.
/Province of Ontario is reduced to essential services
Employee: “Are we an ‘essential’ service?”
Me: “We deliver foodstuffs to businesses. What do you think?”
/During the drive home I realized he was just looking to me for assurance
//I guess I’ll just put that response in the “Could Have Handled That Better” file
Weed was determined to be an essential service in Michigan. Also, alcohol.
In my defense, I tend to be flippant and dismissive when under enormous stress.
Hey only I get to call my wife “enormous stress”
She and I ‘talked’ about it. She disagrees.
If there’s anything I’ve learned about women (which ain’t much) … never under any circumstances should you use the word “enormous”
Also, never tell them to “calm down”.
And don’t ask, just assume they’re on their period and that’s why they’re acting this way.
The last time I punched anyone was a guy who asked me if I was on the rag. I’m willing to bet he never made that mistake again.
You reached out and touched someone after they demeaned you? That’s a +1
Factory of Sadness guy does Cleveland-area ambulance chaser:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_k2n8AKb8fU
First case of the virus in a Michigan prison happens to be in the same one my brother-in-law works at. My mother-in-law who absolutely wouldn’t be able to withstand it lives with him. Starting to close in on “worst case scenario” territory.
yikes, that sounds awful. Would you trade your son for your mother-in-law for a few weeks/months?
Wouldn’t be ideal either given that her daughter is a nurse in Flint. Definitely gonna be an interesting couple weeks in Michigan.
Wow, that RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! thing is…something