Your “Watching The World Pass By” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

  • Dissention in the ranks as the league’s GMs vote to delay the draft but the league office refuses.
    • The GMs want the delay because they haven’t been able to do their “due diligence” in preparing for the draft.
      • Things like player physicals, gathering psychological testing, and getting further verified information about the players.
        • Because getting such vital details will surely prevent teams from drafting players like Vince Young & JaMarcus Russell with high-round draft picks.
    • The league wants to keep the dates in order to avoid having to shift further events later.
      • Late Tuesday, Commissioner Roger Goodell sent out a statement announcing that all 32 team facilities would be closed beginning Wednesday.
  • The Saints signed Janoris Jenkins to a two-year contract extension.
    • It’s worth $16.75 million, bringing the saints’ investment in him to three years & $27 million.
  • Ndamukong Suh is staying in Tampa.
    • It’s a one-year, $8 million deal, down from the one-year, $9.5 million deal he had for 2019.
      • It’s been a steep drop for Suh since his three-year, $50 million contract with the Dolphins ended in 2017.

Finally, the Rams are going to throw Eric Dickerson in front of the fanbase vis-à-vis the new logo.

  • As the Rams’ vice president of business development, people have been tweeting at him about the new look, which he also isn’t a fan of.
    • He’s apparently going to try & have a meeting with the marketing department.


Today’s internet good dog is Bogey, a Golden Retriever pup who gets caught between biting his tail & trying to roll over.

Wait’ll he learns about balls!


Tonight’s … entertainment?:

  • Wrasslin’:
    • AEW Dynamite – 8:00PM | TNT / TSN3
    • NXT – 8:00PM | USA
  • Forged in Fire – 9:00 PM | History Channel
    • Four first responder bladesmiths are tasked with forging tactical knives out of rescue tools. Ultimately two smiths persevere and return home to recreate one of the most important tools in a firefighter’s arsenal: the Halligan Bar.
  • Brockmire – 10:00 PM | IFC / ctvcomedy.ca
    • Jim is trying hard to enact change in the league but the owners don’t seem to care or want it.
  • Engineering Catastrophes – 11:08 PM | Science Channel
    • A brand-new bridge suddenly collapses in Miami and several die in a horrifying calamity. Experts use the latest science to investigate what went wrong and how an innovative bridge-building technique could be to blame.
    • Given how many people here enjoy posting engineering pics & gifs, well – here you go.

Have a good time commenting tonight. I’m going to try & overcome my writer’s block.

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Unsurprised

Is this DFO-legal?

h

ttps://i.pixxxels.cc/FFnBPQxX/wetshirtclub-83300342-879689965817196-7207917422906656272-n.jpg

Mr. Ayo

Yes. But send to Yeah Right for confirmation.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yup. Embed into that if you like.
I mean…you know what i mean.

Unsurprised

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Sugar-coated is a no-no for diabetics.

Brick Meathook

Have it checked for anime spanking by cartoon characters

Viva La Tabula Raza

Someone with the madd skillz required should do a mashup of some of the insane Trump coronavirus briefings he’s been giving out with this song. I’m sure it would go, uh, viral.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09LTT0xwdfw

Mr. Ayo
Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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WCS

Detroit’s looking good!

Brick Meathook

these are photos of my vacant soul

Mr. Ayo

There’s no way your soul is that deep.

I’m picturing more of a vacant 500 sq/tf 5th floor walk up.

Brick Meathook

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BC Dick

All three?

Brick Meathook

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Over 1000 cool, freaky, forlorn abandoned places on this page:
https://www.atlasobscura.com/categories/abandoned

Horatio Cornblower

Action in the poker room.

To be clear, we’re just playing cards with fake money

Mr. Ayo

And twbs’s mom is around, scantily clad, and giving out free drinks

BC Dick

Oh boy, Tang!

Gumbygirl

Ovaltine. And bourbon.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dude!!!!!

Mr. Ayo

She was very nice and accommodating. You should be proud!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m laughing at that and am therefore required to be ashamed.
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Unsurprised

I really should tell more people to go fuck themselves.

Gratliff

If they don’t hear it, they won’t know to do it

Gratliff

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Gratliff

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Senor Weaselo

Oh hey, my buddy Vic’s going to be on History in whatever this show is!

The guy with the hot sauce museum. They’ll be eating old hot sauce.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I guess that in these uncertain times, eating hot sauce past it’s sell date makes just as much sense as anything else. “Is that guacamole or mold in the jar?”

Senor Weaselo

With that much vinegar, it’s not gonna be mold.

Viva La Tabula Raza

It could have mutated to a vinegar-resistant molecular structure. I understand that these things can happen.

Viva La Tabula Raza

in other words, tread lightly.

Game Time Decision

How are any of these guys signing contracts? I guess esignatures or faxes

And that’s a very specific start time for the bridge show to start

Dunstan

“Bridge show”? Oh, the one about engineering. Damn. I thought maybe ESPN was going to be showing the card game.

Game Time Decision

Full contact bridge has been cancelled until further notice. Hippo and Litre booo the decision and are saddened by the lack of things to bet on

Unsurprised

Engineering? The last bridge built in this country collapsed before it was even half completed.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I know there are exceptions, but most of the cool bridges built in the last half century have been built in a hemisphere neither northern nor western.
In the early 70s, I lived about 90 miles southeast of Istanbul, at a NATO listening post that had one of these https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AN/FLR-9; my dad was the operations officer that ran the antenna. I was in the Boy Scouts, and one of our activities was we went up to the Bosporus and swam from the Asian side to the European side, this must have been about 1972; there were no bridges across the waterway. There were escort boats and all that shit so some Russian tanker didn’t mow us down. That was pretty cool, and there probably aren’t a whole lot of people you know on the internet that have done such a thing.
Fast forward to 1999. I go back to Turkey as an environmental restoration project manager for the USAF to Incirlik Air Base in Adana, SE Turkey. I have to overnight in Istanbul, and I pay 40 extra bucks out of my own pocket to stay in a balcony room overlooking the Bosporus at the old Hilton they built in the 1950s, a real “From Russia With Love” vibe. Get settled in with the bottle of red and bag of pistachios I picked up at the 7-11 (No shit, a real 7-11. They even have a guy in a maroon vest that follows you around with a basket as you shop).
On towards dusk, I look out over the sweeping vista over at Asia Minor and see not one but two bridges between the continents, with evidence of construction of a third underway a little further to the north. No need to swim anymore!
Just a few years ago, they opened a bridge where the Gulf of Izmit debouches into the Sea of Marmara. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Osman_Gazi_Bridge. Cut 90 miles off the drive from Istanbul to the base at Karamursel. The southern approach to the bridge runs up along the peninsula that the NATO listening post was, the Turkish military has occupied the base since the Cyprus War of 1974. The US didn’t really care, satellites were making the Elephant Cages obsolete anyway But I can still look at the google map and pick out the base housing unit I lived in for three years, and pick out the outline of where the FLR 9 Elephant Cage my dad ran used to be, and check out lot of the other important points of that particular episode of my life. God I’m getting old and soppy.

Unsurprised

There’s some awesome infrastructure out there.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Shit, we have hardly even repaired infrastructure in this country since Reagan was elected. comment image

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

Hmm, right now I’m bleeding out of both my eyeballs. Is that a Corona symptom? I don’t think it is, which is a relief.

Senor Weaselo

No, that’s Ebola.

Gratliff

With the world burning and the election out of reach, Bernie let off steam with the kind of self care I always encourage others to partake in: Calling Republicans shitheads to their face. The taeks were predictable.

I get why the reactionary house-flipper psychopaths of the GOP's online base would dislike this, but at this moment I just don't get Democrats who do. I'm biased towards him, because I admire and agree with him. But also he's fully right to be this mad. https://t.co/SqBDbhih0V

— David Roth (@david_j_roth) March 26, 2020

Unsurprised

Those Democrats are rich, right wing shitheads. Expecting anything but bad faith criticism and contempt at those who they see as beneath them is a sucker’s bet. Hippo wouldn’t bet on that shit.

Gratliff

Let’s slow down. There’s a non-zero chance he snuck into the scripted betting trailer at the wrestling show tonight.

Brick Meathook

Is that the guy from Van Halen?

Don T

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clint greasewood

Just Lurking
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Game Time Decision

No need. Come out and (virtually) play

Gratliff

Fucking loved Biloxi Blues
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rockingdog

Found a funny:
When James Blunt says “I saw your face in a crowded place” it’s so outdated like wtf is a crowded place

Brick Meathook

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litre_cola

Poker table is open, just 2 Canadians sitting a hockey stick length away from each other and staring at each other.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m coming!!!!
I mean, not like that but…. never mind.

Unsurprised

Welcome home, Unsurprised! Your building’s shut down.

Redshirt

The rest of my family is on Day 2 of the Great Grounding. Everyone is so cheerful and happy.

I’m mentally preparing myself for the day I return from work to a blood-covered house and corpses everywhere.

litre_cola

If you come home to that you are at Scotchy’s shed in Northern Ontario and I would suggest making your way back to Ohio in a hurry.

Viva La Tabula Raza

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So apparently Mississippi’s shutdown order considers bookstores to be “essential”. I did not know that such businesses even existed in that place.

Redshirt

I didn’t know the word “books” was Mississippian for “porn”.

Gratliff

That’s what they call churches, which is what they call trailers with a cross so big, it tips it off the ground

scotchnaut

That one guy in Biloxi has a great amount of political influence.

Gratliff

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I went to 9th grade in Biloxi, 1973-4. They had just started enforcing busing. They way they worked it out is they bused all the black kids that were good athletes to the white schools, and all the military dependents at Keesler AFB to the poor black school down on Division Street. Quite an eye opening experience, but I think I turned out a better, more tolerant person for it. Going from there to Southern California for three years of junior high/ high school hanging at the beach, the desert, and the mountains was quite a change, too. The beach in Biloxi was shit. I understand it’s all casinos now.

Gratliff

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Brick Meathook

William Faulkner, Eudora Welty, John Grisham, Richard Wright, Shelby Foote, the aptly-named Tennessee Williams, Stark Young, etc etc

Gratliff

Made a pork shoulder today because the day they closed the schools, a pork shoulder was literally the last piece of meat left in the local Meijer. Never done that before. Didn’t appreciate how much usable meat you got off one, and may never buy pulled pork again.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL. You said “pulled pork”.

litre_cola

Got a text from a Conservative leadership candidate.

“Can we trust you will support Peter McKay in the upcoming race?”

My response, “McKay and that O’Toole clown can go fuck themselves with rusty screwdrivers.”

Gratliff

Did you get the “Okay! Thank you for your time!” response?

litre_cola

Nothing yet.

Game Time Decision

McKay is a POS

scotchnaut

General Anxiousness and Lieutenant Nervousness have formed an alliance and have invaded my workplace. I’m countering their offensive with Captain Positive Pushback. I’m gonna win this war. Just watch me.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Private Masturbation, reporting for duty SIR.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Corporal Punishment cost me $500.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Don’t turn your back on the Rear Admiral.

Viva La Tabula Raza

You might get a stern shot!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Just got a call from Sexy Adam Schiff inviting me to a town hall. It’s really weird to hear his voice coming out of my phone.

The Maestro

Lady Maestro has seen the Nathan Lane/Matthew Broderick version of The Producers, but not Mel Brooks’ original version with Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder. I firmly stand in the camp of anything Mel Brooks has ever produced, but I’m curious to hear your guys’ thoughts on this one. I’m playing it for her as we speak!

The Maestro

Goddamn, is Zero Mostel ever a wonderful actor.

Gumbygirl

Yup, I loved him. And Peter Ustinov!

Don T

“This play…. This a house in the country. This is a Rolls and a Bentley. This is wine, women and song. And women!”

Brick Meathook

The original is still the gold standard of the franchise

Brick Meathook

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Don T

That is my favorite movie. Zero and Wilder are incredible. Mel Brooks is a genius.
Total Smurf / Star Wars cast (sausagefest with one lady character), but yeah. My favorite movie.

Senor Weaselo

Musical>Original movie>Movie of the musical

Fun fact, my violin teacher played the Broadway show and because he’s German they would just liberally throw his name in in the ad libbed German-sounding bits.

herodotus450
herodotus450
Unsurprised

The Ram on the right looks even more like a penis. Is second grade Jonah Hill drawing these fucking things?

litre_cola

Poker?

scotchnaut

I don’t even know her?

The Maestro

I am around! Just gotta get a table up and running.

litre_cola

I think only Hippo and Sharky can do that. We used to just always have one open back in the day

The Maestro

Yeah. I’ve asked for admin rights.

litre_cola

If not we strike?

Unsurprised

I just got my schedule changed so now I get to wake up at 3:30 am to get to work. Yay, me!

Gratliff

Currently take most of my business calls from under my blanket so the fan I use for white noise doesn’t stop me from hearing whatever director has my personal cell number

Unsurprised

Finally. Someone who shares my anguish.

Horatio Cornblower

I keep getting ready to do the draft preview but then I put it off because I can’t be sure when it’s going to happen.

By which I mean I kinda forgot about it and should probably get started.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

I’m pretty sure that alternate Ram is a generic Madden logo.

Redshirt

On a related topic: the Madden generic Super Bowl logo is way better the NFL generic Super Bowl logo.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

Commissioner Goodell: “The Draft is going to happen but with a slight difference. This year due to COVID-109, you’re going to have to make your selections without scouting or researching your selections.”
31 NFL Owners: “THAT’S BULLSHIT!!!
Mike Brown: “So what’s the difference?”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Shorts crotch; great crotch.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Boatkake?

scotchnaut

[begins typing into search engine] “I’m on it.”

-ballsofsteelandfury

scotchnaut

The rumor that this was her reaction after she saw my penis is a complete falsehood.

Viva La Tabula Raza

“Never seen one that size before. At least not on a grown man.”

scotchnaut

“And I work with children so I know.”

/stolen from Dave Attell

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

For the hearing impaired:

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Her: Who you going to satisfy with that?
Me: Myself?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Alright already. Stawp eeeet.

Gratliff

AEW dealing with the empty arena shows by having the heels running a sports book at ringside remains one of the more creative ways of adapting

ballsofsteelandfury

My porn name is going to be The Ramassador.

Senor Weaselo

“The Rammedassador” sounds like a movie title.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He has a five speed push button transmission…… if you know what I mean…..

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello

ooOOOOkkkkKK.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OOOOOK…….[drible] ……ook.

Horatio Cornblower

That’s where my ol’ buddy got off too!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Kim Hunter woulda done in a pinch, sans the monkup.comment image

Redshirt

How accurate is the makeup? Is the body furry like an ape?

Viva La Tabula Raza

You’ll have to use your imagination. Hint: it was the 60s/70s.

scotchnaut

I’m guessing Kim didn’t shave. I think I’m right on this.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Are you going to link another Kate Bush song?

Redshirt

So, it turns out my work is considered an essential business. At least until the National Guard shows up, I gather.

litre_cola

1st day of Decilitre in daycare after 14 days, was a great and productive day. Thennnnn I go to pick him up, car wont start. 30 minute walk to get him. Thank Gamblor my wife showed up halfway through the walk back and picked us up before the big hill.

Any sports on?

scotchnaut

Kate Bush is so disappoint in you right now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wp43OdtAAkM

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s the kind of pubic hair comment we were looking for!! It may not be the comment we wanted* but it’s the comment we needed.

*We wanted this comment and you know it; I mean look at how we are dressed!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Upvote this or another homeless person gets it, but on your front porch this time.

Redshirt

Super Bowl XXXIX is on NFLN. Its amazing to see what Terrell Owens did on a still healing broken ankle. He may have an ego the size of a football field, but you can’t question his effort.

Gratliff

Always hated how fast Eagles fans turned on him. They have a better opinion of Vick because of the Miracle at the New Meadowlands

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than they have of Owens after he went to Dallas.

Speaking of Vick, remember when white people everywhere put Peyton Hillis on the cover of Madden?

SonOfSpam

As a Rams fan (we are legion), glad about Dickerson getting involved. Got to meet Dennis Harrah once, and he was still wearing the “2105” tacky-ish ring Dickerson got for all the linemen. Funny motherfucker.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Steam or fried?

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Senor Weaselo

Senorita Weaselo perks up.

Senor Weaselo

YES!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You don’t think COVID19 will obey and stop?

Viva La Tabula Raza

The GOP turned into a Trumpian sacrificial death cult so slowly I hardly noticed (I think the change started in November 1980 and has really picked up steam). Fucking Dan Patrick. And fucking Greg Abbott, while we’re at it.

SonOfSpam

Truly a confluence of the ignorant and the awful.

WCS

What did he do to you?
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Viva La Tabula Raza

I like that Dan Patrick. But then there’s this Dan Patrick, Lt Gov of TX. I don’t like him.comment image

Redshirt

Republican Revolution of 1994 is where I think it happened. That’s when the moderates lost power to the new bred of Republican that know better than everyone else. They wasn’t completely evil though, its like “Attack of the Clones” where Anakin killed the Sand People; its a start of darkness but he wasn’t evil yet. When the Tea Party came to power, that’s when the Republican Party started to slaughter the younglings.

Gratliff

After the paradigm shift in 64, it was just a matter of time before the traditional Democrats and Republicans died off and made way for the party of Woke Corporate Branding vs. the party of Comically Racist Billionaires

BaldingSpiritually

Had to endure his campaign ads in 14 where he showed ISIS training videos while talking about Obama leaving our borders unsecured, as if they forgot how Al-Qaeda infiltrated us in the first place.

Not to mention his boner for pushing a bathroom bill along. So glad he’s not my AG anymore

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

It pisses me off that she is blocking the graffiti that I want to read.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I guess if you had a fortune telling machine in your bathroom or entry hall and it told you this, it would be worthwhile. Otherwise, “TOO LATE!”

Viva La Tabula Raza

Wow, a microscopic morsel of good news. Too bad they’ll all be dead in six months due to a combination of Covidfefe 19 and shite healthcare and won’t be able to savour their victory.
https://www.rawstory.com/2020/03/huge-victory-for-standing-rock-sioux-tribe-as-federal-court-rules-dapl-permits-violated-law/

Senor Weaselo

My Finale situation is sorted. I CAN COMPOSE AGAIN!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Fiddle away brother!
I liked this. The whole show is available on youtube, this is just the trailer.
Maybe it’s not your bag.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TthM8EWz2Tk

Senor Weaselo

Ofcourse Heifetz is my bag. His Mendelssohn, his Brahms, his Tchaikovsky, his Scottish Fantasy…

Not his Bach. It’s a little too hot of a sound for my Bach. I prefer Tetzlaff these days for Bach.

Gratliff

You figured out a Finale Solution?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Trump and his team are working on one, too!

SonOfSpam

Good, was worried about you decomposing.

Mr. Ayo

Can’t believe I made it to the Penultimate Four. I’m definitely hanging a BOLTMAN REGIONAL CHAMP banner.

All that said, I’m quite disappointed with the early polling. Time to stuff the ballots!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PcddDxqj2J0

Viva La Tabula Raza

I watched The Christmas Story with my dad for the first time around 30 years ago. He had turned me on to Jean Shepherd’s short stories when I was a kid in the 1960s (even let me read them in the original Playboy publications, he was a pretty cool dad, and didn’t check to see if I was skipping around to look at tiddays).
He flipped out when he saw the Lifebuoy soap, apparently they used a vintage bar of the original red Lifebuoy and that just yanked him back 45 years to his youth.comment image

Senor Weaselo

Can we get some banners photoshopped?

Mr. Ayo

GREAT idea.

WCS

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Viva La Tabula Raza

They could change their name to the LA Ramses.
So, if there is no draft, and subsequently no training camp, and thereafter no exhibition season, and finally no regular season or playoffs, I imagine that there will at least be a little joy around here over the fact that the Patriots won’t be winning the next Super Bowl. Not that they had a chance anyway. I kinda feel like I did when the Spurs lost Duncan, then Parker, and finally Ginobili. It was a nice ride, but da pahty’s ovah.

Senor Weaselo

So shall it be written, so shall it be done!