Some answers only Scotchy knows.
NFL Nuggets: three days until the Draft
- Jameis Winston claims he is being “methodical” in his search for a new team he feels is a perfect fit.
- Because “no one has called me” isn’t a very resounding answer.
- The Jags seem to be doing their best to ensure no one wants to go play for them:
- They released Marqise Lee, so now they have only career backups on their roster.
- They are entertaining trade offers for Leonard Fournette, because MJD retired three years ago.
- They are engaging in a flame war with Yannick Ngakoue, who just wants. The fuck. Out.
Show me the compensation. I’m sure you’re really driving up the price today btw.
— Tony Khan (@TonyKhan) April 20, 2020
It’s a new regime here sir. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of the contributions you made here. That said, tweeting insults at me won’t get you traded any faster. Only good trade compensation will do that. Please redirect your efforts into a more productive outlet
— Tony Khan (@TonyKhan) April 20, 2020
Finally – Saints preserve us! – the Patriots have changed their uniforms.
To a resounding chorus of “WHERE THA FACK IS PAT PATRIOT?!!?1!!”, the Patriots have decided that the post-Brady era will begin in the color-rush jerseys.
- They are hoping that, with the proposed helmet-rule changes in 2021, they can bring back their red alternates with the Pat Patriot logo on the lid.
- The majority of fan responses, in the time I could stomach being on their Twitter page, follow along this line.
Already ordered my new jersey. pic.twitter.com/tZUhwD8VUP
— Kraig Withakay (@KraigWith_A_K) April 20, 2020
MXC Monday!
Tonight’s episode – “Cops vs. Cons”
Tonight’s … entertainment?:
- Wrasslin’:
- Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
- 1989 NFL Draft – 8:00 PM | ESPN2 – 3 HRS 30 MIN
- To get you lubed up for Thursday, Round 1 of the 1989 NFL Draft in New York City.
- Antiques Roadshow – 8:00 PM | PBS
- From the McNay Museum in San Antonio, TX
- Featured: Julius Cohen yellow diamond earrings, a 1928 Gibson Granada banjo and a collection of original comic art dating to around 1937..
- Better Call Saul – 9:00PM | AMC
- Season Finale!
- It’s an hour & twenty-five minutes, so expect something good.
- Botched – 9:00 PM | E!
- Two big-bosomed buddies pay a visit to the doctors, while a Dubrow patient desperately needs help fixing her elephant trunk-looking breast. Meanwhile, a Nassif patient has issues that run deeper than his asymmetrical chin.
So, Canada didn’t get the memo about the ESPN “30 For 30” on the Bulls, which is why I forgot to include it yesterday. But it seems most of you knew it was coming, so sorry-not-sorry.
Hi. It’s now my birthday.
Ask me anything.
How long are you going to milk this birthday thing?
23 hours and change, non-birthday asshole.
jk birthday asshole. happy birthday.
today is your day. go out in the world and touch everybody.
PSA; careful with your used ones or spares. Make sure they are secured.
In Hell where they belong.
Well, I guess if KJU is dead in NK, Trump will show a lot more sympathy and condolences to Kim than he will to any of the 40+ thousand that have died here in the US under his watch.
Wait, what?
https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/tom-lester-dies-green-acres-195035002.html
Dead Tom Petty played this on his Buried Treasure show the other day. I thought it was pretty clever. But I like Tom Petty like your grandma likes Donald Trump.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFAF6tD33So
Kind of an interesting mashup there of Young Baby Jesus/Levon and Rocket Man for the young Reginald Dwight/Sir Elton Hercules John.
Fucking peg-legs anyway.
And yet the emperor remains the emperor.
Had a nice steak, a bit overdone, but still a bit bloody. The meat sweats and an erection are good combo, people.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHwmtQpigKM
I still have this album. I bought it new when it came out. Fuck, am I old or what?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avrqo0rC7cw
How long until Viva and tWBS turn into Bob Burgers?
One of my favourite recurring jokes is Teddy thinking Bob’s last name is Burgers.
I enjoy the last name joke, too. And Teddy calling the restaurant “Bob Burgers” which I guess comes from the same joke.
Not too far in the future, probably.
My ex sister-in-law’s dad was a florist, and the name if his business was Guter Floral. He had this really sweet, but kind of senile, rich old lady customer who ordered lots of flowers from him. She thought his first name was Floral, because that’s how they listed names in the phone book and that it was an amazing coincidence that he was in the flower business. He never told her!
Had I just waited for the Alzheimer’s joke post.
Kim Jong Un smoked himself to death on 4/20. Gotta respect the commitment.
Grave danger after heart surgery, it says.
Making the smoking even more impressive
Maybe we can send Trump over there to take Un’s place. And all Trump’s fellators, as well.
Full employment.
And maybe shed some weight as well with the starvation diet.
Up to season 10 of Trailer Park Boys, and shit’s kind of coming off the rails with Snoop and Tom Arnold and Doug Benson for some fucking reason
Yep. The post movie break lost the way a bit I thought. Still some good stuff but they seemed to fall back on just yelling at each other. Or hauling out celebs like that.
Definitely hurt not having Clattenburg directing anymore. And Jacob was no Trevor.
It really peaked with Lahey walking around with a hard dick
I just finished watching the whole series again plus the movies and even the weird swearnet stuff and the thing where they go to Europe and all that crap. Still haven’t bothered with the live in Austin type things.
You made it further than I did. I think I gave up somewhere around season 8.
There are apparently two more seasons to go, which I’m liable to sit through because my xbox controller’s charging way over there.
Yeah I watched it all again just to complete the whole thing. And because I don’t have lots to do. After season 6 I’d say it’s enough but might as well do the first 7. After that the “boys” bought it and it was something like 8 years until the next season.
The Hollywood movie I thought was bad. It reeked of focus group. The other two movies were OK but nothing like peak TPB from the early years.
In honor of the day:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZXc39hT8t4
Damnit. wrong comment
Also in honor of a certain person’s birthday today. These MAGA-CHUDS are gonna maybe have to update this meme soon.
Well, I think I have a blister in my plucking finger.
I await your wordplay.
Dude would probably look a lot more worried if he were black.
He wouldn’t have made it that far.
DuckTales 2.0 Season 3 is trying to pull a Marvel and create its own Universe.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=heS7kqe-VLc
Scrooge McDuck solos.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFXTa2yeYWs
I LOVE MXC Mondays!!
i LOVE THC MONDAYS!!
(haven’t had one in a while though)
/sighs heavily
I’m drinking Monday Beer….. but bud is not out of the question.
Do not get BC dick to mail you some. His guessing at postage is problematic. That, or it got stolen by a sticky fingered postie.
HAHAHAHAH
Bring your llama to work day? Plus he/she seems to have an attitude.
Oh yeah, yeah, you like that doncha, you like it…. dip that chip in tha salsa eeeeeew, yeah, crunch that bitch, yes, load it up….. double dip if you want…… broke the chip…. fuck it; grab another and dig the whole thing out….. crunch , crunch big boy….. YES!
Sorry, I get to talking to myself sometimes.
Totally get it. Personally I’ve been talking to the TV a lot lately. Oh, and the plants in the garden.
“Oooooh look at you…you’re doing great…you’re gonna be a big boy someday”
I’ve been talking mostly to myself or my dogs since mid-December. I talk so little to other people that I have trouble reaching for words when I DO talk to other folks these days; this is annoying because I have always been pretty well-spoken. Hopefully I’ll get my vocabulary back if and when we ever go back to working at the office.
In the meantime, my dogs have not talked back to me, so at least I’m not going to go all Son of Sam. Yet.
OK. We can help. Spell “onomatopoeia”.
Shit I guess I just spelled it for you.
DAMMIT.
I learned what that word meant when this song was mentioned in the review of this album back 35+ years ago.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysa7myYXm8k
They did it on their next album, too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10tcb1RfOE4
That sounds like you are talking to Mr. Penis.
Nah, he never listens and always gets me in trouble anyway.
Well, you DID say “someday.”
So that why the dip tastes a bit off.
Found a funny:
gotta be honest y’all i am not having a baja blast rn
What’s a diorama?
That stupid shit you spent 10 minutes making in 2nd grade then stuck a shoe box.
It’s more like 20 seconds making, the other 9 minutes 40 seconds is the wiping.
A LOT less cool than an octorama.
A variety show telethon where everyone has runny shit.
This comment came out in a splattering flourish.
Kitties: Not good at teh futbol.
VAR says penalty
Jesus, that Pelosi ad is fucking devastating. It’s an interesting play for Trump to go after her instead of Biden. If Biden hadn’t been his primary deflection during the impeachment, he could’ve unloaded both barrels on him at this point, but Biden left relatively unscathed from the whole thing, so no one gives a fuck what Trump thinks about him. He might get more traction by making Pelosi the face of the Dems and going after her full throttle. All the usual calculus seems meaningless this cycle, though. Trump’s failures since January will almost certainly go down as some of the worst in Presidential history, but people care way more about making rent than they do about the federal blame game. Gonna be interesting to see if people in this country care more about the body count than they do about the unemployment numbers. I really just have no idea what to expect in November, but I bet it’s going to be bad however it plays out.
Are we using “devastating” ironically or?
“HURR DURR SHE EATS ICE CREAM AND HAS A NICE FRIDGE” is pretty fucking rich coming from the gold toilet side of the fence.
Oh, I would never pretend it’s not disingenuous as all fuck. You could feed the country with the budget of one of these, but I can never understand why people like Pelosi do things like that when it just cements the disconnect between them and the real world.
Because Real Americans don’t eat ice cream?
It might be an insult ad; she is only 24th in net worth and obviously needs to step up her wee ass game.
Sen. Kelly Loeffler pwns her by ~32 times….
Loeffler’s really making all that insider trading up to the public by *checks notes* selling all her stocks at a profit
And the next Democratic DOJ will never prosecute her for it, while a Republican DOJ will give her tips.
No, real Americans have real shit to worry about and reenacting MTV Cribs while the working class is being devastated is short-sighted at best.
Eh. This is the same shit I heard all through 2018. “The Democrats will never take back the House with Nancy Pelosi as leader. The GOP will run ten thousand ads about her being a ‘San Francisco liberal’ and she’s shrill and shrewish and has a screechy voice and blah blah blah.”
And the GOP ran those ads. And they accomplished fuck all. Pelosi still has shitty favorability ratings but her name wasn’t on the ballot.
Man, I think on the list of shit I’ll be grateful for when Trump loses in November, the end of this “Trump is invincible/everything the Democrats do is dumb” defeatism will crack the top ten. And considering how awful this administration is, that’s saying a lot.
Biden fills me with the same dread as Kerry. George W Bush (who has finally fallen behind Trump in the list of worst presidents) should have been laughed out of the fucking White House. Instead, we got this haunting ass bullshit map to deal with.
I always forget about the electoral college guy just saying fuck it all and giving Edwards a vote in Minnesota for some fucking reason
Because he was a good kisser.
Where non-voters would have soundly beaten either candidate.
We could always just sell the Louisiana Purchase back to France. They make good bread and cheese.
I would not mind driving a Citroen or Renault either, if it were the right model.
Don’t lose heart – people are more motivated than ever before to vote in 2020. And Wisconsin proved that they’re not going to let the virus stop them. The more people that vote, the worse IMPOTUS loses.
Because she is obscenely out of touch. Her district is home to the richest tech bro assholes in the world, and her failures to clapback or shade or whatever the fuck she thinks she’s doing is transparently phony and disingenuous, something that a lot of loud people in her own party are running on to oust her in the primary. Trump, on the other hand, has had his finger on the pulse of the public for decades and is the single most influential driver of every discussion. He may not know much about what he can do with his office (besides steal), but he knows that. Look at Twitter. If he lost the election, Twitter would not exist. It was in freefall in late 2016. He is keeping it alive when its owners and everyone else at the company clearly how has idea how to use it, how it works, or how to profit off of it after ten years of being a pop culture mainstay.
It’s genius, IMO. He’s dismissing Biden as an irrelevant has-been and erasing the one advantage he has as the guy The Onion mocked and who was Obama’s VP by focusing entirely on a hated politician who leads Congress – the most hated institution in the U.S. (because everyone hates Congress except for their own reps) – a Congress that delayed the stimulus, that impeached him over nothing (I agree with this. It was the dumbest, most opaque and uninteresting possible crime of his multitudes they could’ve gone after and they deserve to eat shit for it), that is X, Y, Z. Biden’s only comeback is his Blue MAGA bullshit of “MAGA, but a different time than Trump wants” when it’s pretty clear that no one who isn’t already MAGA wants to go back anywhere, and most people are actually smart enough to realize that you can never go back. Not now, especially. Biden is making himself irrelevant by the day, isn’t the leader of his party because a good and vocal chunk of it hates him, and most importantly – Trump gets to benefit from the same strategy Clinton used in 2016 of depressing turnout by depressing voters. This pandemic is not going to end by November, and the only people who are going to vote are either getting mail-in ballots like in my state, or are fucking crazy and willing to die for this asshole. That’s all he needs: more people willing to die for him than for Biden or Pelosi or anyone else, and he has that constituency locked.
Look up the results of the Wisconsin primary/special election to see how wrong you are.
I’d go after the undecideds who voted for Trump in ’16. That’s why he beat Clinton. You get them, you win the election.
Not quite the same as undecided, but current polling shows that among voters who dislike both Trump and Biden, Biden is winning.
“I gotta come clean to you guys. I don’t know how things work. Zippers. Up or down? When? Same with escamalators. The buttons are way confusing. I need arrows to push. I need to push them real good!”
-Salt and Pepa
Is she talking about the cute boobs or the cute buns or both?
Ah, the Cowboys took Troy Aikman?! Damn it! I had $20 on Barry Sanders!
Both of those guys have “bust” written all over them. Should have taken Mandarich; can’t miss on that guy.
Today seems to be Cheeks Out Monday on Instagram.
https://pixxxels.cc/gallery/WkvKcrF
The good news is that the worldwide deaths/cases seems to have peaked. The bad news is that it topped out at 6.8958%. It’s like the virus doesn’t even have a sense of humor.
Trump eats out every day, doesn’t listen to or care about anybody and he is still alive and well.
This virus is pure evil. Don’t even doubt that.
Oh, don’t worry. We’ll end up closer to 420% by the time the Republicans are done intentionally infecting everyone for the sake of making billionaires wealthy and to own the libs, and because people can apparently get it multiple times. It just never goes away.
Scotchy disagrees. And hates rounding.
Third base.
LOL 69
FIX IT!!
h ttps://scontent-dfw5-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/93994293_2538727999778505_5433982662870040576_n.jpg?_nc_cat=104&_nc_sid=110474&_nc_ohc=S9anamgH4H4AX_St3ys&_nc_ht=scontent-dfw5-2.xx&oh=1019bb76b63e143183acee2414470a4f&oe=5EC38648&dl=1
Damn it. I’ll transcribe:
“I can’t go out because of the virus” sounds weak, whiny and boring.
Try instead:
“I’ve sworn an oath of solitude until the pestilence is purged from the lands.”
Sounds more Valiant and Heroic, people might even think you are carrying a sword.
Redshirt and Moose are flirting-you guys should get a zoom.
I thought I was flirting with Rikki…… my bad.
I was about to say.
DR. MRS. DEADLY, ESQ. (ret): I prepared some barley!
RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: [comes running, is crestfallen when she hands him a bowl] Wait, this isn’t beer.
DR. MRS. DEADLY, ESQ. (ret): You know, there are other ways of preparing barley.
RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: There are?
This is where I get off the ride.
Did the bowl have beer or what? Because otherwise it contained nothing.
A lot of productive meetings today!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=13&v=eo3MfA9xBGM&feature=emb_logo
Must have draft. Must have draft. Must have draft.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6YAPK0MuLw
The Giants are going Wirfs in the first and Ruiz in the 2nd.*
*I’ve not a clue as to how it unfolds
They are going to Wirfs this draft, aren’t they?
Ismael Rivera should be Superman, and Héctor Lavoe, Batman smfh…
And btw,
Dunno about that 2nd pick. The Meadowlands has artificial turf, so that’s just a waste.
So it needs more upvotes.
Do we have to? Until they announce Burrow’s name, Brown still have a chance to screw this up.
Georgia’s dipshit governor also trying to kill people
But at least he used his former office for voter suppression and voter fraud so he could win the governorship!
“Sweet! Oceanfront property!’
(grabs HAZMAT suit and Wikipedia page on Squatter’s Rights)
Ack!
“I get that reference.”
-Bill the Cat
Hairball; we know where it came from.
hey now
Admit it, you were saving this for an IMPOTUS thread.
Things happen, man.
Jags existing only as a marketing tool for AEW is fast becoming my most successful prediction