So, that was a week, wasn’t it? It was a very strange, surreal, sad, and something other that starts with an S week. However, by the end, it was also sweet. Wait, that starts with an S too!
The reaction on this site to the events of last week makes me feel proud to be a part of it. You all are a great bunch of people and, even though we may have disagreements from time to time, we’ve built something great here. Let’s keep it going.
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The Week in DFO
Here are the things I read in DFO this week that reminded me how much I love this site:
and a reminder that a certain someone had hilarious taste in music:
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Me: “Hi, I’m scotchnaut and I have a Sunday Morning Food Porn addiction.”
Audience: “Hi scotchnaut.”
Me: “It all started back in…”
[fade out]
Scotchnaut
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Found a funny:
The first boob I ever saw was in Titanic. Never seen a boob since. Waiting for Titanic 2 I guess.
rockindog
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Where’s my Jennifer Tilly-shaped anal beads? I don’t think this is an unreasonable question given the circumstances!
Scotchnaut
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So the flash mob orchestra recordings I’ve been doing made 60 Minutes. So I’m having a decent morning.
Senor Weaselo
Oh sure, when I make 60 minutes it “felony” this and “restraining order” that, but when Senor does it he’s a hero. When will the middle class white male felon get a break?
Horatio
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Send the kids a pointed letter. In red crayon, poisoned envelope.
Don T
“I need to speak to the school principal.”
Viva La Tabula Raza
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I know the woman in that picture is supposed to be ill, but I’m still attracted. Women are often nauseated at the prospect of sex with me anyway, so I’ve learned to deal with it.
Dunstan
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Outlined against a blue-gray October sky, the Four Horsemen rode again. In dramatic lore they are known as Famine, Pestilence, Destruction and Death. These are only aliases. Their real names are Musburger, George, Cross and Snyder.
/dramatic reading backed by the NFL Today theme
// plagiarizing from Grantland Rice is why Bill Simmons rejected my application for Grantland.com (RIP)
Downfield Matriculator
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Saying yes to yourself opens up opportunities that can take you anywhere.
It’s only led me to buying lots of Kleenex.
SonOfSpam
Also Balls’ brain when “surfing” the internet.
Litre_cola
That’s a browser history that I never want to see.
Sharkbait
Incognito Mode is your friend.
Balls
I see you also know The Tao Of The Perv.
SonOfSpam
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Ultimate Tag? Fuck that, considering we’re already all wearing masks I want Calvinball on network television!
Senor Weaselo
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Please sign me up for the print version of DFO delivered to my doorstep every morning.
monty this seems strange to me
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I had SiriusXM for a while and let me tell you they are SiriusXM AS FUCK about sending emails to get you back on it.
Moose
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Why can my cat lick its ass and I can’t?
Do you want to lick your cat’s ass, or are you upset you can’t lick your own ass? It’s a real, “Let’s eat Grandma” vs. “Let’s eat, Grandma” situation.
Anyway, well said.
BeerGuyRob
I don’t see why I have to choose: this isn’t an “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” choose-you-own adventure.
Horatio
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“A Very Special Episode Of Sexy Friday Dedicated to Seamus”
Multiple pics of 50+ dudes sticking their dicks into the tailpipes of old pickup trucks? I can’t think of a more wonderful, poignant and heartfelt sendoff. You really nailed the essence of our fallen comrade.
Scotchnaut
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I’m going upstairs to make a banana joint.
jjfozz
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After we finish the Santabarbaratown episode of psych, think I can finally talk lady bfc into watching Chinatown?
BFC
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Ok, what follows gin well, because too much gin makes BFC angry
BFC
Usually an arrest
Horatio
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When I met BFC I said “come up to my house; we’ll shoot pool and drink good beer in the basement” and my wife said “that sounded like something a serial killer would say” at pretty much the same time Lady BF was telling him “that sounded like something a serial killer would say.”
Anyway, we met somewhere else, and I didn’t even try to kill him.
Horatio
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God, he really did suck at poker though, didn’t he?
Horatio
I think he was at his most generous at the poker table.
Balls
It’s like he didn’t know there was a ‘fold’ button.
Horatio
That explains his romantic relationships…
Balls
And we’re done here.
/’Things Seamus Should Have Said’ for $400, Alex
Horatio
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Here’s this week’s Balls’ Choice from Request Line:
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Thank you to everyone one for helping to make this tough week a little easier to get through.
I’ll leave you with BFC’s brilliant goodbye to tWBS:
tWBS was a good blogger, and a good man. He was one of us. He was a man who loved animals and the Orioles… and posting pictures of scantily clad women, and as a wayward North Carolinian with wanderlust he and Dave explored the beaches and women of Southern California, from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo and… up to… Pismo. He died, like so many young men of his generation, he died before his time. In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, as you took so many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, at Hill 364. These young men gave their lives. And so would tWBS. tWBS, who loved Sexy Friday. And so, the Wee Baby Seamus, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean and/or Sexy Friday, which you loved so well.
Good night, sweet prince.
There, I feel better.
The 6th race at Golden Gate has a horse named Hopscotchy. 3-1. Got to bet that.
Hopscotchy wins going away! That’s 2 for 2 for DFO named horses this weekend.
We’re onto something here.
Traditional holiday beach walk and hill climb was accomplished. Finished up the last of my scheduled housework. Weekly chicken is cooking and I’ll soon be firing up the grill for the second day in a row.
Mission accomplished.
The picture with the guys in chaps, from her look even though she was warned it was too late, Ethel had already got incensed. I bet when she was testifying in church the next Sunday, it was epic.
Also, my wife and I laughed for a good 30 minutes over that pic.
I LOVE that you named her Ethel.
‘Member Beverly in this movie……. holy shit. Las vacaciones europeas de una chiflada familia americana
Absolutely gorgeous.
The whole package. Played straight so well, and you know Chase had a fucking huge ego and was a cunt to deal with.
Vavavavoom!
Walley is great looking.
I think the redhead with the lingerie was Brocky.
POSTED by Brocky, not Brocky himself.
LOL
In light of Paltrow’s subsequent developing of Goop and her theories of jaded and/or steamed vaginas, I think we can all agree that Kevin Spacey’s character was the true hero of ‘7even’.
Still would? STILL WOULD.
Then turn her over…..
[commits turnover]
“Okay, then what?” – Jameis Winston
/Eats W shaped turnover
“Thanks” – A. Reid
Turn her back over…..