NFL News:
- Michael Bennett has retired.
- It’s a combination of the 11 years he’s already played, the COVID issue, and the fact that he discovered he liked spending time with his family during the lockdown.
- He leaves with three Pro Bowls to his name and a Super Bowl title.
- But his 359 tackles, 69.5 sacks and 13 forced fumbles will be a tough sell for the Hall of Fame.
- Well, the NFL blinked.
- The league has proposed a preseason with no games, acceding to the union’s demands.
- According to PFT, no preseason games will allow the league to follow a schedule recommended by a joint committee.
- That schedule calls for three weeks of strength and conditioning work, 10 days of non-padded practice and 10 days of padded practice over the final two weeks.
- According to PFT, no preseason games will allow the league to follow a schedule recommended by a joint committee.
- The league has proposed a preseason with no games, acceding to the union’s demands.
- Following up on yesterday’s news about the extent of COVID testing is the amount the league is prepared to spend.
- The figure is estimated to be about $75 million, in case you were wondering what would be the minimum amount the league might spend to get the season started.
- Naturally, all of the PhD. candidates in the comment section have some slightly different opinions.
- The figure is estimated to be about $75 million, in case you were wondering what would be the minimum amount the league might spend to get the season started.
- Further enflaming those MAGA-ts will be the news that the league will allow players to wear social justice decals on their helmets.
- To the point, they will allow players to have decals on the back of their helmets bearing names or initials of victims of systemic racism and police violence.
- The league sounds resolute in standing up to the President this time around.
- Perhaps the limited attendance due to COVID will cushion the blow of those “thousands” of season ticket cancellations.
- Far be it for me to compare Roger Goodell to Sun Tzu, but this does sound rather familiar:
- The general, unable to control his irritation, will launch his men to the assault like swarming ants, with the result that one-third of his men are slain, while the town still remains untaken.
- The league sounds resolute in standing up to the President this time around.
- In addition, the NFL also is planning to have “Lift Every Voice And Sing,” traditionally known as the Black national anthem, performed live or played before every Week 1 game.
- For those unfamiliar with the song, here are some brief notes:
- According to the NAACP, it was originally written as a poem by NAACP leader James Weldon Johnson (1871-1938) and then set to music by his brother John Rosamond Johnson (1873-1954) in 1899.
- As a song, it was performed for the first time by 500 school children in celebration of President Lincoln’s Birthday on February 12, 1900 in Jacksonville, FL.
- The school was the segregated Stanton School, where James Weldon Johnson was principal.
- The NAACP dubbed “Lift Every Voice and Sing” as the Black national anthem in 1919. The decision came more than a decade before “The Star-Spangled Banner” was adopted as the national anthem of the U.S.
- And, here is a version performed by Aretha & apparently recorded off a 1974 RCA television.
- For those unfamiliar with the song, here are some brief notes:
- To the point, they will allow players to have decals on the back of their helmets bearing names or initials of victims of systemic racism and police violence.
- According to their annual financial disclosures, the Packers made $509.6 million in revenue for the 2019 season.
- That includes $296 million in national revenue and $210.9 million in local revenue.
- According to PFT, “National revenues” are shared among the 32 teams, so the $296 million figure represents each team’s share of the national revenues, which mostly come from TV rights.
- League-wide, that would put total national revenue at around $9.5 billion.
- These numbers were up 6.1 percent from the $477.9 million the team made during the 2018 season.
- Further to Sports Business Daily’s report, if the Packers are permitted to have fans, they are planning on Lambeau Field holding between 10,000-12,000 people under social distancing rules.
- CEO Mark Murphy said the “break even” point in attendance is less than that, so the team could turn a profit at that capacity level.
- That includes $296 million in national revenue and $210.9 million in local revenue.
Tonight’s … entertainment?:
- MLS is Back Tournament:
- Atlanta United vs. Columbus Crew – 8:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN
- A Group E match.
- Montreal Impact vs. D.C. United – 10:30PM | ESPN2 / TSN
- A Group C match
- Atlanta United vs. Columbus Crew – 8:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN
- Top Rank Boxing on ESPN:
- Velez-Valdez (featherweights) – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN3
- Jayson Velez (29-6-1, 21 KOs) vs. Oscar Valdez (27-0, 21 KOs) in a super-featherweight bout in Las Vegas. Also: Berlanga-Moon (super middleweights).
- Velez-Valdez (featherweights) – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN3
- Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel – 10:00 PM | HBO
- David Scott examines health and safety measures being instituted by the NCAA. Plus, Jon Frankel takes a look at LA’s Skid Row Running club with Founder and Superior Court Judge Craig Mitchell.
- MLB:
- Toronto Blue Jays Pre-Season: Toronto @ Boston – 7:30PM | Sportsnet
In case you missed it, Russell Wilson was on the Joel McHale-hosted Kimmel show last night.
Guest Host and @Seahawks superfan @JoelMcHale talks to quarterback @DangeRussWilson about @PatrickMahomes' new record-breaking deal, COVID safety in the @NFL, and his pregnant wife @Ciara… pic.twitter.com/MIPz7UVJEX
— Jimmy Kimmel Live (@JimmyKimmelLive) July 21, 2020
So, not everything is deadly serious these days.
Sometimes I get too distracted by the state of the world and just can’t fucking write.
It’s fine.
Make sure you do some research before you pick just any tanning salon.
Isaac Bickerstaff
As society teetered between its medieval past and the “Age of Reason,” the practice of astrology held wide appeal in early 18th-century London [and] No astrologer was more influential than John Partridge, who delivered a healthy sense of impending doom to thousands of discerning readers each year.
However, all that was to change in January 1708 [when] curious predictions were published by a previously-unheard-of astrologer identifying himself as “Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq.” He wrote:
“My first prediction is but a trifle… It relates to Partridge the almanack-maker; I have consulted the stars … and find he will infallibly die upon the 29th of March next, about eleven at night, of a raging fever.”
And indeed, on the 30th of March [a] letter circulated around the city. The author reported sitting at Partridge’s bedside on March 29. He recalled how Partridge had fallen ill three days earlier and had confessed to being a fraud before succumbing to his fever at 7:05pm—just four hours off the time predicted by Bickerstaff.
The news left London in a state of shock, though it’s likely that no one was as surprised to hear the news as Partridge was, for, as it happened, he was alive and well. It wasn’t difficult to work out that the letter had been written by Isaac Bickerstaff.
The hoax would plague Partridge for the rest of his life. Mourners, who believed him to be dead, often kept him awake at night crying outside his window; an undertaker arrived at his house to arrange drapes for the mourning; an elegy was printed and a gravestone carved [source]. But others reveled in tormenting him; stopping him in the street [to enquire] how his widow was coping, or to chide him for lacking the decency to be properly buried.
Partridge would spent the rest of his days trying to discover Bickerstaff’s true identity, to no avail. However, the answer that eluded Partridge was not lost to history. It was eventually uncovered that Bickerstaff was a pseudonym for none other than Jonathan Swift. Swift often amused himself by terrorising his friends and enemies with elaborate pranks on All Fools’ Day. Not a fan of charlatan astrologers to begin with, Swift had taken a special interest in Partridge after some sarcastic remarks the cobbler had made about Swift’s employer: the Church of England.
In the end, half of Swift’s prophesy came true: John Partridge eventually died. The precise date fell somewhere around 1715, putting Swift’s prediction off by a mere 62,000 hours—the blink of an eye on fate’s great cosmic scale. [Edited from Source]
https://www.damninteresting.com/the-extraordinary-astrologer-isaac-bickerstaff/
Lady BFC made fudgesicles so I’m pairing one with Ardbeg, two memos, and despair.
State of the art L.A. public transit.
Hmmm… Moose shows up just as Scotchy leaves? Can you two not be in the same room together?
The sexual tension is too much……. just like the song.
https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=nxE1Ta-4ojY
So apparently I may have an older half-sibling out there. My attitude is essentially, “meh, who cares?” One of the many reasons I never signed up for one of those DNA tracing sites.
If anything, I’m sort of pleased that my mom led a more interesting life than I had been led to believe. (And by all means, feel free to make jokes about my mom. I wouldn’t have thrown this obvious bait to this crowd if I wasn’t prepared for it.)
Fortunately, this is coming in the form of late-in-life parent confessions rather than some half-sibling making contact.
Your mom is so fertile…
[how fertile is she?]
…she got Rex Grossman pregnant!
/I gave myself a five minute limit to think of a joke and that was the best I could do.
This makes me feel better. Thanks!
Judge Mills says “I’ll allow it!”
Your mom is the type of woman who would enjoy a lovely seafood dinner and good conversation!
Is it a half-sister or brother? Maybe it’s a sister and she’ll make initial contact – slow and awkward at first, but gradually you start becoming more comfortable and eventually you spend enough time together that you start to develop feelings for each other. But no! She’s my half-sister, I can’t possibly. But if it is so wrong, why does it feel so right? Oh, if only the circumstances were different. Then a DNA test, the very kind that you had eschewed, reveals that this “sister” is NOT the half-sibling your mom gave birth to, and you are in fact free to pursue this once forbidden pleasure.
That’s when you both realize you’re not really that into each other and part ways.
This is art.
EROTIC art.
Having seen the discovery of an half sibling (to someone raised as an only child) and the family associated with such, I can attest it is very much worth the risk of them being assholes.
I’m reminded of when an L.A. Law episode had a recurring gag about a sexual maneuvre called the “Venus Butterfly.” Apparently NBC switchboards were overwhelmed with inquiries.
I’ve heard that a Venus Butterfly is basically the same thing as a Rusty Venture but instead of strawberry jam you use maple syrup.
My $12 to the first NFL player with a Joe Biden for President helmet decal
These people are insane.
Ummm, sure.
I am in no way willing to concede that Roger Goodell won’t royally fuck up this attempt at doing the right thing.
FINE HIIIIIIIIIM!!!
Gronk has the same awareness of the product he’s selling for Dunkin Donuts as Shaq does when he’s selling a new energy drink in Malaysia
What do you like most about these drinks from Dunkin?
Gronk: The check cleared.
2012 Giants come back with a vengeance in Game Two, downing the ’27 Yankees 8-1. Tim Lincecum (W, 3-3) allowed just one run in three innings, and Angel Pagan led the offense with three hits, a walk, two runs, two RBI, and a stolen base.
The series now shifts to the west (best) coast, where Waite Hoyt (2-2) will take on Matt Cain (7-2) in Game Three.
I’m done. Love hanging with all you.
It was a good night.
/enters
Sawing up today’s body?
I made it out of Costco with booze and in one piece.
Probably would have been easier if you had just paid for it.
Without the thrill of it, I’m dead inside
The hooker?
She’s just dead
Since you found her that way, you don’t have to pay.
This is a fun 10 minutes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlexo-003lE
Live footage of Joe Kennedy’s outreach program
That’s what she said.
Well, if I stand outside for 9’36”
I went to college with a guy that got heavily involved with seasteading. He also got heavily involved with the PUA scene, so you can imagine what kind of person he was and how few tears I would shed if he fell into a big vat of sulfuric acid.
Yeah, amazing how the people who want to start a new nation are people you wouldn’t want to share a taxi with.
Taxi? Too busy fuckin’ the slaves!
“Showering is a socialist notion…”
Sally Hemmings took bath for sure.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d18UWu4dRv4
He was so fucking brilliant for a period of time….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OB965aUPsmM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6QDjDPRF5c
The guitar work, the lyrics, I mean, Jesus… Bands don’t get much better than this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYlmofOhnhM
I always assumed that Tragically Hip was a Bo Jackson tribute band.
–
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWu7d5YqV9k
That’s it.
Was working through Curb Your Enthusiasm, now watching the Producers. Who is making sure Mel Brooks stays alive?
I hope it is not Carl Reiner’s job.
Old school! That’s the Trebek most Canadians grew up with.
Straight Outta North Bay, mothafucka…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwZBnUR6P-A
What, they were worried that Reach For the Top was gonna sue?
Fun fact: at my encouragement, our schools Reach for the Top team used to give out my name and that of other friends if they were ever stumped on a question.
“Which 14th Century Pope excommunicated the King of France? [shitty high school]?”
“Uh…. Pope Dunstan?”
“No, sorry.”
Not gonna lie, he could get it!
I think it’s pretty great that Mango’s reaction to being asked about Ghislaine Maxwell was to “wish her well,” but I think the speculation about what he meant is silly. It seems pretty straightforward to me – his aides pleaded with him not to talk shit about anyone during the press conference, and he acquiesced. The problem is that they (and he) weren’t expecting a reporter to bring up someone he absolutely SHOULD be talking shit about.
The whole thing had the energy of a middle schooler finally handing over a bad report card after hiding it for a few weeks
This is excellent.
I wonder what Drew’s Twitter feed has been like recently. It must be insufferable.
What’s funny is that putting 10-12k Wisconsin residents into the Lambeau stands still pretty much has them packed in elbow-to-elbow.
Sell out if you go solely by body weight
Lots going on here
That dude is going to have to take a second and maybe third job just to pay for all the engagement rings.
Lover, ok
Aunt, not okay
Inspiration, okay
Best friend, okay = married still not ok. However me thinks she isn’t his aunt by blood.
Ok, I am confused.
I feel like the aunt part could have just been left out?
But we are perverts.
Yeah. Aunt Peg died a decade ago.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juliet_Anderson
Woody Allen sent the lovely couple a baby stroller.
Glad to know his new woman can walk on her own now
Plagiarist!
If you can find a more weird, more engrossing one hit wonder Canadian tune than this one…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z14wPTz6PdY
That was mesmerizing.
THEY LOST HIM IN THE CLOUDS – REPEAT – THEY LOST HIM IN THE CLOUDS
(True development . . . I love L.A.!)
Hey look, Twitter banned QAnon 3 years late in a way that will almost certainly reinforce the psychos who buy into it. It’s the effective and responsible content moderation I respect the most about social media.
Egh, America is in a severe mental health crisis. They’ll blend right in
Americans aren’t crazy. They’re evil.
And completely stupid.
Just to reiterate:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ON6pn6suSzc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APrpB-i4d_E
Oh yeah, Dandy Warhols!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LduipA_XUJ8
Anyone remember High School Confidential? Anyone remember Rough Trade?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFwom4D3i4g
I’m sure Buddy remembers “rough trade”.
“Rough trade? Like say letting go of a Blastoise for a Charmander?” – Elisha
Despite what he wants us to believe, Buddy is actually Carole Pope on the comeback trail.*
* Carole, gotta tell you, it’s not going well.
Buddy leaves a comeback trail.
I remember the song. The old one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjOLpNxaupU
I would think he would be more into Junior High Confidential.
Oh, hell ya. Great song. “What’s the principal doin’ with her? Who’s that guy? Is he screwin’ with her?”
It was such an innocent time back way ago…
Carole Pope once dated Dusty Springfield.
Shower, then beer?
Or beer, then shower?
I think we all know the answer.
Together. Makes the beer taste way colder.
Beer, shower, beer. Duh.
Ding ding ding.
[looks around in confusion] – Austin Collie
Ah, the good ol’ days of Austin Collie jokes.
The Payolas weren’t a one hit wonder. They had ‘Soldier’ and this one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wxcieByT28
The two main guys behind the Payolas were Rock & Hyde, who had this hit:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5kLzAajFZQ
I remember both of these and you both know I do not remember obscure or pedantic things.
The Ryan brothers are headed to Canada!
–
“Avoid or limit kissing and saliva exchange.”
Once again, whores are ahead of the curve.
Didn’t we see the same thing for a California county several weeks ago?
It was the New York City health department
Maybe that too.
[runs a steak knife across the seal of a The Macallan bottle of scotch several times in order to open it]
Why? Because I’m Northern Ontario Fancy, that’s why!
I hope you have milked the bulls.
“……..”*
*Can’t respond right now, mouth is full…
Knife dulled due to other activities?
Scotchy keeps his “hobby” knives in prime cutting condition. His kitchen knives? Not so much.
(watching “Law Abiding Citizen”)
2009: “The evidence was thrown out?! How unrealistic!! How could the Justice System be that inept?!”
2020: “The evidence was thrown out. This is a chillingly realistic documentary. Thank God they switched the roles of Jamie Foxx and Gerard Butler or else this movie would be really uncomfortable.”
[lays down gauntlet] Shuffle Demons with the horrid horn intro SPADINA BUS!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZnLjRi_g9o
I don’t know if some of these are really obscure, or it’s just my ignorance of music post-1990. But come on, including the theme song from The Raccoons?
https://www.cbc.ca/music/read/the-25-best-canadian-one-hit-wonders-ever-1.5007925
Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol 3 is taking some liberties with the source material, I see.
Looks better than the second one, which was terrible
Sadly I know most of these
Hell yeah you do.
“Sadly”? Get your game time together, man.
found a funny:
[playing 7 minutes in heaven]
doctor: ok lol plug him back in now
Fellow Canucks, is the most obscure one-hit (sorta) wonder that ever was?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPpPQmcxzJ8
Most obscure? This might throw the official determination of the second through the fifth most obscure completely in chaos!
Stop biting my sister. I mean it.
More of a nibble…..
Did her nipples get erect? If they did, how erect were they? Please go into detail.
Somebody just hacked my account. I never thought it would happen to me…
Next time, have a password better that “Password1”.
ABSOLUTELY TRUE STORY:
The dad had a security system installed in an old warehouse circa 1998. The keypad password was 1234.
I always change it to 6969.
Dial a rotary phone erect?
I beg your pardon?
No, I heard you just fine. I mean, that’s my answer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAw-YYKkqWE
Oh shit…. here we go.
You seem to have a lot weighing on your mind there…
This would have been good to know prior to Homecoming, junior year…
https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/nflpa-tells-players-therell-be-no-preseason-training-camp-rosters-reduced-to-80-players/
O/U Number of Players on IR by Week 2 due to Stress Factures and injuries due to going to full speed all at once: 12
oh, and Weeks 1 and 2 will be a complete shitwshow. THAT I WILL WATCH EVERY BLESSED MINUTE OF.
id take the over.
In honor of the American Truckin’ Network on 700 WLW forbidding politics on their show (because apparently truckers driving on empty highways at night OD’d on Red Bull have interesting political opinions), I am going to follow suit and refrain from talking about politics in tonight’s Open Thread.
So how about baseball…oh wait, doesn’t start until this Friday.
Oh, how about football…oh wait, too early.
How about the movies…oh, right. All closed.
Anybody have any vacations plans…duh, COVID-19 is still COVIDing.
Um…
Um…
Beer good?
Why isn’t it on fire?
needz moah palllattez.
And Saudi crude oil as an accelerant?
To pilot the fire?
Rad Lobster is what she calls her–well, you know.
Thankfully, I’m allergic to shellfish. But if Hattie’s man has an EpiPen, I suddenly may be reevaluating my sexual orientation and be open to exploration of new ideas and actions.
As Viva says below.
Hattie has been there, done that. She could teach you some tricks, I bet.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHx0goKnbdA
Sounds like someone needs a fake baseball update!
The ’27 Yankees took the opening game of the final, 3-0, thanks to a combined shutout by George Pipgras (W, 7-2) and Wilcy Moore (SV, 10). Lou Gehrig hit a pair of homers (12, 13). Game Two is coming up shortly, with Urban Shocker (3-0) set to take on Tim Lincecum (2-3).
Reminder.
Jousting!
A Knight’s Tale is a CGI masterpiece that is often overlooked.
It’s got something for everyone.
I actually recognize the names of 4 of the cast members!
I’m surprised it’s not more.
Well, 4 definitely, and another 3 maybe, but I am not googling those 3.
Well, don’t start using this; it is the movie rabbit hole.
https://www.imdb.com/
I pretty much had to block that site 10 years ago.
The cinematographer in a very obscure movie in the early 1980s is very important information to keep in your head.
Didn’t watch much past the 1st season of that show, but that gal was phenomenal in that role.
I’m pretty much the same age as you and I’ve never used the term “gal”, it’s not really a regional thing, probably more of a family inherited term.
http://word-detective.com/2011/08/gal/
I knew basically where it came from, just not all the reasons behind still using it. My dad used the term sometimes, but it was limited.
Definitely not a Midwestern US thing, unless someone’s trying to sound cool and addressing everyone as “Guys and Gals” instead of “Ladies and Gentlemen”.
I think it’s something I must have picked up when I moved to TX, or could have picked it up anywhere in the country or world I lived when growing up as AF dependent. Never really gave it much thought. I think it’s usually used in the “guys and gals” context.
I have heard many midwesterners use it, especially Indiana and Iowa country types. Lots of them join the Navy, I guess it’s a get off the farm and see the world thing.
Not bad, gyrene.
https://www.rawstory.com/2020/07/military-member-calls-out-beta-wimps-who-complain-about-wearing-a-mask/
Her ‘Lust For Life’ has dampened considerably.
/every few months it occurs to me, ‘how the fuck is he still alive?’
//I took him as one of my starting five in a Dead Pool 27 years ago!
h
ttps://media2.giphy.com/media/glNmFtSLIzaRW/giphy.gif
“I don’t see what the big deal is.”
I separate the above giphy GIF for size.
I’d like to share that Iggy image with friends, but I think the two circles of the Venn diagram of people I know who know who Iggy is and who know who Jennifer Anniston are probably don’t even touch, let alone overlap.
No, that’s not true, but the joke works without necessarily knowing Ig.
The GIF is in response is a time lapse of Keith, not the original image.
Not Reality Show Clip Time, F minus minus.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnPm3h6sl84
Bennett Brothers crack me up, even if they ARE Aggies.