I realize it’s cruel to start a post with Canada’s most loathed export, but they did release a new album yesterday. Rather than punish you with that, I at least had the kindness to give you a cover song punctuated with hockey fights. It’s the little things, people.
But if you want to see full Massholes on display, I present to you the Bruins’s statement on Tuukka Rask opting out & heading home:
#NHLBruins goalie Tuukka Rask has opted out of the NHL's Return to Play: pic.twitter.com/r3c7wjaTwR
— x – Boston Bruins (@NHLBruins) August 15, 2020
Dear lord, the certified psycho-medical professionals of Twitter on full display.
Look – we’ve been following the Patriots long enough to know what these people are. My question is: do they know it? I mean, everyone can admit they’re an ass sometimes, but do you think, in their soul, these people realize how truly awful they are & how few people would actually miss them?
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- Tampa Bay Lightning vs. Columbus Blue Jackets – 7:30PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet360
- Vegas Golden Knights vs. Chicago Blackhawks – 8:00PM | NBC / CBC / Sportsnet
- MLB:
- Pittsburgh Pirates at Cincinnati Reds – 6:00PM | FS1
- Tampa Bay Rays at Toronto Blue Jays – 6:30PM | Sportsnet1
- Look for the famous cutouts, like Geddy Lee
- Look for the famous cutouts, like Geddy Lee
- Fútbol:
- Liga MX:
- Guadalajara vs. San Luis – 6:00PM | TELMUN
- Cruz Azul vs. FC Juárez – 7:30PM | UNI
- Mazatlán vs. Tigres – 9:55PM | UNI
- Monterrey vs. Necaxa – 10:00PM | FS1
- Liga MX:
- Pugilism:
- UFC 252: Miocic vs. Cormier 3
- Prelims: – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN
- UFC 252: Miocic vs. Cormier 3
- Southern Hemisphere tackle sports:
- Super Rugby Aotearoa:
- Blues vs. Crusaders – 11:30 PM | ESPN2 / TSN5
- Australian Football League:
- St. Kilda vs. Essendon – 1:30 AM | ESPN2 / TSN
- Super Rugby Aotearoa:
A solid night to be cooped up inside. Enjoy your evenings!
https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/a0N4bWZ_460swp.webp
Robert Trump, the younger brother of our bloated, orange POTUS, has died.
Nice try, God, next time move a little to the right.
Bill Clinton only pardoned his brother…
Jimmy Carter must have wished he never had a brother.
It’s gotta be skunked by now, but I would buy some Billy Beer
If it still existed, I’m assuming it would be the official DFO brand.
I have an empty can of it somewhere. Probably my mother’s house, assuming my brother hasn’t swiped it.
This is my shadow on Mel Blanc’s headstone in Hollywood, Calif.
Can’t wait to see JJ Fozz’s reply with his shadow over Bob Irsay’s grave.
Well, that beats the photo I took of Adam Smith’s gravesite. (I was an econ major.)
I’m sure we couldn’t have seen your hands anyway.
That works on multiple levels.
I saw that picture. Putting your (invisible) hand on his grave was quite disrespectful.
I impressed a Scottish tour guide by knowing that Adam Smith wrote ‘Wealth of Nations’
It was a great achievement that I think about often or perhaps almost never
Most people only know him from his hit TV show Mythbusters
Also this is your annual reminder that a girl named Sasha Grey who I’ve never heard of before streams on twitch and is just a totally normal person.
NESN is showing a college wood bat league game. I just realized that one of the teams was originally based in Middletown,CT, and is the same team that a friend of mine and I tried to buy back in 1994.
By “tried to buy” I mean a friend of mine called me and asked if I would go in with him on buying the team and I said “I just graduated from law school and make jack/squat a year. Are you out of your fucking mind?” and then we never talked about it again.
I assume that’s where you try to find a bat in the woods and get it to write a 10,000 word essay on the effect of the printing press on merchant guilds
Fuck. Now I want to go back in time, find some way to buy that team, (honey, you don’t need a wedding, right?), and then lobby like hell to change the league name to The Hanseatic League.
UNAM with the tie!
I assume this means something, but damned if I know what it is.
/now on some comedy telenovella, where clothing seems optional
I gotta buy some track suits for WFH
Just spent too much money on 2 pairs of colorful converse low-tops, (this’ll be 6 pairs), and a bunch of stuff from the HRTN store, in case you were wondering what happens when you follow a 9.5 beer with an 8.2 beer.
(I am also occasionally sipping from a bottle of locally sourced apple moonshine the my son got me for my birthday. It is truly awful, but I have never not finished a gift bottle of booze, and I’ll be damned if I start with this one)
And this is where I encourage everyone to drink MOAR!
Seriously, though, let me know what you think. Balls said his Diggler’s mug looked great, so that’s encouraging. Yes, this is me fretting over a new POD store.
This is also me:
I’ve got plenty of time; I’ve been told not to expect it before mid-September.
Which is cool, because the way 2020 is shaping up I’m not expecting anything I want ever, so mid-September is actually wildly optimistic by my standards.
I hadn’t really looked at exact shipping times, since those are completely out of my control, but RB did let me know they were running slow due to COVID. And since Mangolini is now fucking with the USPS, things just get worse…
Is that Eliza Dushku?
Yes.
Moose knows my weakness.
Ya gotta have Faith
She is 5 by 5…
“5 by 5” is apparently lingo for “loud and clear” in military/communications, the numbers being one’s rating for loudness and clarity on a scale of 1 to 5.
So I’ve heard. I can only assume that Buffy fandom has written a whole backstory about Faith being a military brat. Which seems consistent, so I have no problem with it.
Here she is in ‘Banshee’, one of the most insanely over-the-top TV shows ever. Yes, it was on Cinemax, how did you guess?
That show was bonkers. Really good stuff.
It was so bad, and I loved every goddamn minute of it.
Banshee! Never got to the end. I could be convinced if I knew there was a nude scene with a certain guest actor though…
She did bang the lead actor but not sure if she showed anything. Which reflects far more poorly on me than it does Ms. Dushku.
Feels like a “keep pouring drinks until my wireless headphone battery dies and then
cry myself to sleepstumble to bed” kinda night.I’m using alcohol to subdue my rage. It’s a delicate balancing act.
I’m using alcohol because it’s chilled and if I drink enough I don’t mind the fact that the coolest spot in my apartment is 84 degrees
Watching umbrella academy season two and apparently I’m a homophobe for bringing up how obvious it is that
[Where’s the spoiler function on mobile?]
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Vanya and the farm housewife are gonna fuck
I’m not sure I’m ready for an Ellen Page sex scene. Mostly because to me she’ll always be the teenager just starting to find herself in that movie about roller derby, (“Whip It”; just looked it up), and I am not Jeffrey Epstein.
She’ll always be the vaguely similar leaked nude 3D model from that one video game to me.
She’ll always be the first Trinity from Trailer Park Boys to me
Reading the AFL posts made me want to go back to Australia. Then I remembered It’s been 20 years since I’ve been there, and I really want to go, and accidentally drop my passport off of the Sydney Harbor Bridge.
Surely I’m not the only one who’s been researching overseas immigration policies?
I mean, technically I can always go back to Canada, but… fucking winter, man.
If I could work on the island I would.
I’ve got my heart set on Malta for some reason
Clearly you’re not a journalist.
I’m going to emigrate to the 9th circle of Dante’s Hell. Can’t be any worse than my present circumstance.
So Arizona?
Nah, ninth circle is cold, it’s probably in the Falklands
My wife is very friendly with an older woman (cool it, perverts), who owns a house on Prince Edward Island, and I have given her carte blanche to do whatever she needs to do to make sure we inherit that house.
As you were, perverts.
I think I want to try for political asylum in Scotland, willing to homestead in the Shetland Islands.
Belarus is one of the countries you can go to with a US passport right now, we can all join the protests there and see if they’re cool with torturing a tourist
Spoiler alert: they are.
Hold up.
Yeah, Belarus was where all the Tsarists fled to after the 1917 revolution. It’s like Russia’s Taiwan
Plus they were big Bela Lugosi fans.
“Belarus: Russia’s Taiwan” is such a great tourist slogan that next year I expect Arsenal to be wearing on the opposite shoulder from their “Visit Rwanda” patch.
https://i.imgur.com/c2meXJO.mp4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RbXIMZmVv8
Weird shit used to be funny.
It’s weird that you posted this; I had just requested it (via Alexa) on reddit.
My daughter brought her 4 years of high school Spanish into the room and I now know I am rooting for the white team.
‘Vamanos, los Blancos” or something like that.
I think you just joined Stormfront.
Aka the GOP
Please. People in Stormfront can barely speak English, let alone Spanish.
“Once you pop (your political rivals with the secret police), you can’t stop!”
Flipping through the channels and stumbled on Mexican soccer. UNAM is playing, and I vaguely recall claiming them as my team in one of our DFO “Pick a team in some country to root for” routines because once a friend went to Mexico and brought me back a UNAM shirt, which I no longer have.
Anyway,now I feel obligated to watch this goddamn game, I don’t speak Spanish, and I’m not sure which team I should be rooting for. Ole!
Uno mas cerveza, por favor.
I have some Spanish; I’m not a goddamn savage.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADheDJd4NoM
I am also with the Pumas. You’re in not-good company.
I’m so tired of living in the current timeline, but I still am not ready to die, so I guess I’ll just keep on suffering.
I’m honing my Eastern European sense of humor
[takes long drag of cigarette]
[watches another Western European army starving to death in winter]
“Heh.”
/Sets watch for pogrom o’clock
“Heh”
“pogrom o’clock” definitely gets my +1. But then, I’m a smaht guy from New England.
Have a ciggy, Nappy. And Dolph.
Im still hoping I can join our friends north of the bo(u)rder if need be
Not even 11 EDT and the west coast hockey is all over smgdh
I don’t remember ever hating Jay Feely before, but I sure as hell do now. Fuck that Trump-golfing-partner guy for ignoring the fucked up state of the state.
He’s been a shit for a while now. Fuck him and all like him (kickers).
He must feel very honored that Leatherface chose to spend his time golfing with him over visiting his dying brother in the hospital.
It’s too.damn.hot.
If I ever buy a beach house, you can bet it’s gonna be Tiki themed
Cool.
?quality=75&strip=all&w=1900&h=1130
Those assholes know nothing of the true spirit of Tiki, which is all about inclusiveness and strong rum drinks with elaborate fruit garnishes
And fucking khakis are NOT a tiki lifestyle accessory.
I should make Tiki drinks
That was the joke.
Marco, I am sure he called you a beaner, a greaser, and a spic while your back was turned, as well.
I bet you he called him that to his face.
As a POWER MOVE. And Marco took it and said thank you.
Shook his hand REALLY HARD and VIGOROUSLY, too, I’d bet.
I remember being told in 2012 how sure, Mitt Romney wasn’t the greatest nominee, but the Republicans had a DEEP BENCH of great candidates for 2016. Rubio being among them.
I remain floored that anyone ever thought he was impressive in any way. He has a nice first speech, I’ll give him that. The bio about his father being an immigrant bartender, etc. etc. is a nice little American dream story — though the fact that it’s employed in support of a candidate who won’t stand up for (non-Cuban) immigrants kind of dilutes its appeal.
Otherwise, he’s a complete lightweight. George W. Bush without the Bush family machine behind him.
And of course, this entire DEEP BENCH got fucking trounced by a multiple-divorced real estate con artist who can’t put a sentence together. Frankly, they all deserved it, since none of them could put together a sentence that didn’t involve the words “Reagan” and “tax cuts.” But America deserved better.
Do we though?
We’ve shown our ass, and it’s time for a reckoning.
It’s not even worth caring about any more, But then,I am nearer to death than most of you.
-sigh-
We don’t, we really don’t. I take some solace in the fact that, as an upper-middle-class straight white male over the age of 50, none of this is ever going to affect me adversely.
Feel bad for my kids though; they’re fucked.
That would certainly fit into the narrative.
Smart and/or Final had 805 Pale Ale on sale for 10.99/12.
Currently having #1 in a series.
Smart & Final has been a nice resource for me during COVID — there’s one near me, and there’s hardly anyone there.
Of course I bet the over in Chicago-Vegas. SCORE MORE YOU ASSHOLES!
-director, men-only gangbang movie set
The NHL should instead play on a surface made of Ice-9, so that as the game goes on the ice gets better and better, so the quality of play can increase as the game comes down to the wire.
Plus we can all get some boku-maru in public without getting arrested.
I feel that DFO already knew this.
Yes, it was posted before with a racoon meme. Of course it needs to be reposted so as to remind the fucking garbage pandas whats what.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BD5ha9mENzw
Never want to step on yer toes Moosy
No, it needs to be said….. maybe every day! God damn racooooooooooooooons!
Moose knuckle, camel toe…..
Another edible or another bourbon……..
You know the answer in your heart; yes.
Well indica makes me sleepy but bourbon makes me angry. It is all about balance!
Sounds like they each take the edge off the other, what a cute couple.
I guess as long as you don’t have to get up for church in the morning, why not both?
You’re the one with two raccoons up your ass: you tell us.
I have work to do and no desire to do it. Probably time for the second high ABV beer.
I just accidentally opened a 9.5 as my first. Oh well, can’t put it back in the can!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9DjDh3yjSM
https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=VbC8BHHeZZ0
Who knew Tom Lehrer was still making new songs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEGRsE1Fubw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsnAWCjrYUA
This resonates again as well, what with all the gutting of environmental regulations by the current administration.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPrAuF2f_oI
Seems like only a matter of time before Tampa falls back on their superior firepower, superior intelligence, and blows this series out.
Fox putting a fake AI crowd into Yankee Stadium for this game is the worst use of technology since, I don’t know, something technology related that didn’t work out that well.
You went for the comparison but failed to complete it like someone who doesn’t complete things after intending to.
Just call me Mitch Trubisky.
/Please do not call me Mitch Trubisky
Naw, I’m a jerk but I wouldn’t/couldn’t do THAT.
Weed is a hell of a drug.
Hell yes.
If you saw the original picture of Joyce Carol Oates’ foot that she tweeted, you will appreciate this as a very good tweet.
–
Don’t worry about a Thing!
—John Carpenter.
The only response to that photo, after vomiting, is to urge her to get to a doctor, stat.
That shit ain’t normal.
RICK: Here we are, Cronenberg Morty. A reality where everyone in the world got genetically Cronenberged. We’ll fit right in, Cronenberg Morty.
MORTY: I’m going to…hey, is that Joyce Carol Oates?
It feels good, man.
People keep asking if I’m back and I haven’t really had an answer…But now, yeah, I’m thinkin’ I’m back!
I’ve taken a liking to Tom Lehrer
As you should.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Apc36uToDnw&list=PLVllgpqE3l2L66LWeUV3makvbH0E9JzMD
I listened to Tom Lehrer incessantly as a kid, my dad had all of his albums. Probably has something to do with my warped sense of humoUr. Some of the stuff is pretty temporal/dated nowadays, but I guess someone with the intellectual curiosity and a google to check out the subjects covered might learn a bit of history (especially That Was the Year That Was). This box set https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Remains_of_Tom_Lehrer has everything, including all his stuff from Electric Company in the 1970s.
My high-spectrum Asperger’s nephew, currently working on his PhD in cancer research at UConn Health Center (Farmington, I think?), still can sing The Element Song by heart.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Effj07NXoAEf3CB?format=jpg
thats good
Fronkenshteen, watching Columbus/Tampa. Very much high.
Indica? Because you definitely indicouch.
How is everyone this evening? I see Hartford has a white murder hornet invasion. Same as murder hornets they just bitch about everything.
Scotchy is probably out killing hobos as my Lyon win prediction came true.
2 beers down, its wine time.
“Same as murder hornets they just bitch about everything.”
Hornetus Karenus?
Sorry, I just woke up from a nice nap.
It’s a hot one here, but outdoors in the shade is actually tolerable. Two cocktails in, and I’ve decided to treat myself to a cigar for the first time in months. Can’t do it on my patio because some Karen in my block has been complaining about people smoking, but there’s a nice shady tree in the courtyard. Now I just need to figure out which bottle to bring out there with me.
My neighbor hates weed smoke. Its legal and ok in the condo bylaws lady so sit back and fucking enjoy your free contact high!
Yeah, my landlord is citing some California statute about smoking within 20 feet of doors or windows. Well, that tree trunk is more than 20 feet from anyone’s doors or windows, so fuck whoever it is.
Masseuse arms pretty hairy, must be a bear.
Sexy Friday all over again
“My soul has to elsewhere when I make these advertising videos.”
You should buy better smelling weed, to keep peace in the complex.
Nah, fuck it, just buy ditch weed for burning whenever you know she’s around.
Neighbors complaining about you smoking in YOUR home is asking for an arsonin’. If in a condominium, poisoning.
It’s an apartment. This recent complaint isn’t about me, because I hadn’t smoked a cigar for quite a while. The reason I know about it is because they sent an email to everyone in the block, “reminding” us of the rules.
If my cigar smoke was blowing from my patio into a neighbor’s window, I’d be happy to do something about it. But nobody’s ever approached me about it (and I smoke once every couple of months, so not a regular thing). I have a new neighbor who’s been smoking outside a bit, so maybe that narrows things down a bit.
But I always think it’s a chickenshit tactic to go straight to management and not try to have a polite word with the “offender” first.
I’m a good 40 minutes from Hartford, sir. Please do not slur my rural paradise with that association.
/is stung to death by hornets buzzing about white power
My apologies good sir. Would you still be a Yard Goats fan? My wife has a Dia del Morte Yard Goats Hat, its sweet.
No, because the owner is a sack of shit who screwed over the city of New Britain, (Hard-Hittin’ New Britain, to those of us who have lived there), and moved the team to Hartford when it was doing quite well in NB.
I root for the Norwich minor league team, currently the Tigers Low A affiliate. It’s truly terrible baseball attended by literally dozens of us at a time, and I strongly suspect that Norwich will not have a team after this year. Too bad, it’s a gorgeous stadium for low level ball.
found a funny:
me: ok now let’s do a silly one
first guy in police line up: *kermit voice* give me all your cash
Just found out the hard way that we’ve got a nest of these little bastards in the large hydrangea bush next to the house.
Motherfuckers have a date with a match and a can of hairspray coming up.
is that one them murder hornets?
No, but it is a nice introduction.
White-face, a/k/a Bald-face.
Very aggressive when provoked, which apparently includes watering the bush they’re living in so that it won’t die during the drought.
Fucking ingrates.
Dear heavenly Christ, the nightmares is a comin
-me, late at night on a Tuesday in early November, 2016.
Happy Saturday…..
For those interested in such things, Summer Games Done Quick starts tomorrow at noon with a Demon Souls run. Last year’s SGDQ raised over $3 million for Doctors Without Borders. I imagine moving to an entirely online format will hurt them, but hopefully not by much. Always enjoy watching it, though, because these people are all completely insane.
Yeah ok great job NHL, let’s put one game on at 730 and the other at 8. Now what am I going to watch at 1 AM while I wait for the pink elephants to show up?
Never forget.
Geddy Lee is a huge BB fan, and has an incredible collection of memorabilia. Of course he would; he can probably buy a mint Honus Wagner card with one day’s record royalties.
Guadalajara cannot buy a goal. Even a discount Mexican knockoff goal.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WweD9S9hMBk#t=2m25s
Don’t leave the pot on the stove when you look form memes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FKYCkaIALk
My decade-dead uncle-in-law was a Finn that grew up on a cranberry bog in SE Massachusetts. If this fella is anything like my UIL, what he really meant to tweet was “…there are things that are more important than hockey in my life, and that is drinking excessively and beating my family.”
My cousins and aunt had it pretty shitty.
*disclaimer* I’m sure this guy is not like that at all; I just wanted to bash on my bastard of a Finnish uncle. He was a real asshole.
Just want to reiterate that Jack Edwards is the worst scum fuck announcer in sports