Your Monday Evening NHL Second Round Preview & Open Thread

NFL Nuggets:

  • Earl Thomas & his winning personality punched his ticket out of Baltimore.
    • It turns out that the Ravens valued a sixth-round pick over a 31 year-old malcontent.
      • The team players’ committee voted to approve of management releasing Thomas.
    • Also, because it was “conduct detrimental to the team”, they will try to recoup his guaranteed salary for this season – $10 million.
      • It would give them a nice salary cap cushion, as voiding the contract saves them $5 million this year & $10 million in 2021.
    • ESPN has a breakdown of the last two years, but barely mentions the fact that Thomas is openly campaigning (again) to sign with the Cowboys.
  • The Dolphins will have fans at their home opener.
    • In accordance with state & local laws, attendance will be limited to 13,000 fans.
    • Season ticket holders will get first crack at buying tickets, based on length of tenure.

Stanley Cup Playoffs – Second Round Preview

Since it started on the weekend, it’s a tad late. Still, there’s plenty of room for crack analysis.

The other kind of crack analysis falls to Balls.

Eastern Conference – all games in Toronto

Philadelphia Flyers (1) vs. NY Islanders (6) 

This is the one series that hasn’t started yet, so my analysis & predictions will be pure.

The Flyers had a harder time with the Habs than was expected. Something about the plug & play style they employed to keep things close stymied the Flyers, and forced the series to six games. Giroux & Gostisbehere were not able to take advantage of the open ice, but guys like Hayes & Voracek were able to take advantage of the smaller pairings they faced. Carter Hart showed he’s going to be the #1 through the playoffs, and was able most things coming his way. Ultimately, they wore down the smaller Habs, got enough past Carey Price, and were able to move on.

Well, get ready for more of the same.

Buy, was I wrong about the Islanders. Not about their style of play – that I had nailed. Barry Trotz is nothing if not predictable. If a series requires forcing another team to put on the brakes, that’s what he’ll do, especially when he doesn’t have equivalent firepower to be able to withstand games that become shootouts. Where I was wrong was that the Isles were able to drag the Caps down to their level, which then made them easy pickings. Ovie could never get going; they frustrated Capitals superpest Tom Wilson into more mistakes than usual, and they plugged the goalmouth against Holtby, forcing him to have to look through multiple screens.

What’s likely to end up happening is that we see each team replay the strategy that won them their first-round series: the Flyers will try to beat down the Isles, and the Isles will try to bunch up the middle & keep the Flyers from exploiting their size & speed advantage. Whoever is more successful pulls out the victory.

Conclusion: I still think the Flyers have more overall talent to bring to the ice than the Islanders can prepare for.

Prediction: Flyers in five.


Tampa Bay Lightning (2) vs. Boston Bruins (4) 

They already played each other during the seeding round, with Tampa getting an easy victory. It almost seemed like the Bruins wanted to avoid the Islanders in order to play the Hurricanes. This series is a rematch of the 2018 second-round, which the Lightning won 4-1, and was most notable for Brad Marchand licking Ryan Callahan.

Not much has changed between these two teams in the ensuing years. Marchand is still a pest, albeit a leading scorer type of pest. The perfection line is healthy & leading the team, and the defence was able to stand up to a speedier opponent. The Lightning are still full of gunners, and somehow have enough cohesion to maintain consistent pairings. Brayden Point has emerged as their number one scorer, and was the overtime hero of the first round. And it’s going to be all Andrei Vasilevskiy all the way.

What matters is that they both got out of the first round relatively unscathed. The Lightning were able to finish off the Blue Jackets, avoiding a repetition of last year’s four-game sweep. The Bruins survived Tuukka Rask suddenly heading home (with some charming analysis by the now-departed Mike Milbury) behind a valiant performance by Jaroslav Halak. Now, it’s the Bruins who are the underdogs, having to try and manage to slow down the Lightning’s offensive zone rush. The series will come down to how the Bruins manage the transition after they hold off the Lightning in their zone. If they are able to run an effective counter-attack, a straight-ahead team like the Lightning won’t be able to match the Bruins output.

Conclusion: The Bruins need to get a lead & hold onto it. If the Bolts can build up a lead, then the Bruins are stuck hoping the Perfection Line can drag them back into it.

Prediction: Bruins in six.


Western Conference – all games in Edmonton

Vegas Golden Knights (1) vs. Vancouver Canucks (5) 

What I said about Vegas in the first round holds for the second: They are probably the best team in the league. They have four interchangeable lines, which makes them a game planning nightmare to prepare for. The best case scenario for any opponent is that they can throw off the chaos & force them to have to play a consistent lineup. The one possible area of concern is in net – Marc-Andre Fleury is apparently in a snit about being usurped by Robin Lehner, despite the fact that Fleury has amnesia about his annual case of the yips that forces the team he is on to have to work around his delicate personality.

The Canucks were the surprise of the West in the first round, holding off & dominating last year’s Cup champions. The Lottery Line of Boeser (6), Pettersson (40) and Miller (9) – 6/49 is one of the national lotteries – have combined for 31 points in the 11 games they’ve played so far. Rookie of the Year candidate Quinn Hughes has continued to make his case, and Jakob Markstrom has been fairly solid in net, with only a couple of games where the offense needed to bail out his inconsistency.

On paper, it’s Vegas in a walk. And, if you watched Game 1, you saw exactly what they bring to the table. They have more firepower than Vancouver, and their defence doesn’t need to be as good because of all the scoring. It reminds one of the 1980s Oilers; Grant Fuhr & his 3.5 GAA is in the Hall because Gretzky, Kurri & Coffey were scoring five goals per game. The only hope the Canucks have is that Markstrom got his one bad game out of the way early, and the Canucks can keep things close enough that their third period magic can play them into some tight victories.

Conclusion: As much as I want to believe, facts usually trump fiction.

Prediction: Vegas in Five.


Colorado Avalanche (2) vs. Dallas Stars (3) 

This is the marquee series, if you are fans of end-to-end play & lots of scoring. Both teams have the firepower to pot at least five goals per game. Dallas has scored twelve in their last two – seven to knock out the Flames; five in their Game 1 victory – and they now have a healthy Tyler Seguin back in the lineup on a consistent basis. They roll two deep lines, and have a deadly penalty kill. Both goalies – Khudobin & Bishop – are consistent and able to stay ahead of the few defensive lapses the Stars have made.

The Avalanche roll with the success of Nathan MacKinnon. When he’s able to wheel & deal, the Avs are unstoppable. They are the only team with four players in double-digit points, and have played the fewest games of anyone in the West. However, as Dallas showed in Game 1, if a team can limit his range & effectiveness then Colorado is easily contained. Rookie of the Year candidate Cale Makar is proving himself a stalwart of defence, which will be helpful if Eric Johnson is unable to return to the series. And speaking of nebulous “Lower Body Injuries”, if Philipp Grubauer misses more than one game, that is the thing that will turn the series in favour of the Stars, because Pavel Francouz just doesn’t have the experience to ride out what the Stars are capable of throwing at him.

Conclusion: This series comes down to goaltending, and whether the Avs can compensate for the number of goals the Stars are going to score.

Prediction: Stars in Six.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Philadelphia Flyers vs. New York Islanders – 7:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
    • Colorado Avalanche vs. Dallas Stars – 9:45PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Miami Heat vs. Indiana Pacers – 6:30PM | TNT / TSN
      • Game 4 – Heat lead 3-0
    • Los Angeles Lakers vs. Portland Trail Blazers – 9:00PM | TNT / Sportsnet1
      • Game 4 – Lakers lead 2-1
  • MLB:
    • Cubs at Tigers – 7:00PM | FS1
    • Rockies at Diamondbacks – 9:30PM | ESPN / TSN3
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

Once again, surprisingly, August is turning out to be the best month in sports.

4.2 13 votes
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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Unsurprised

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LemonJello

He looks like someone tried to draw Aaron Rodgers from memory.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Ah, Yvonne Craig.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Ohh!

scotchnaut

Been having a bit of trouble sleeping lately so I had this guy come over and install a huge cartoon mallet over my bed. He told me that all I had to do was this! [pulls rope attached to mallet] ………

Last edited 4 years ago by scotchnaut
montythisseemsstrangetome

Dude, all you had to do was watch the RNC.

Oh, yeah. I guess I’d choose the mallet too.

Viva La Tabula Raza

It’s like watching a scorpion sting itself to death.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello

burble burble borble!*

  • This is an abomination before the Jello Gods
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If anyone is lurking and hasn’t joined because they can’t think of a good username, how about “Happy Scrappy Hero Pup”?

montythisseemsstrangetome

Nah, I think I’d rather just lurk.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

Mr. Shankly: “It’s sorta ironic, but I have to admit but we’re out of that light at the moment. However, it should be in any time now.”

Customer: “How soon is now?”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Have you seen Mr. Mittens?”

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Last edited 4 years ago by Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Viva La Tabula Raza

Just there to the left of the “L” in Light: WTF is Keith Olbermann doing in this ad?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Didn’t know Keith was a reader.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He’s no Iggy.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

I’ve got a Katyn Forest rookie card in a shoebox somewhere. Gotta be worth something.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Katyn Forest is also a great clown name.

Viva La Tabula Raza

And name for a shoe polish.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

For big shoes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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montythisseemsstrangetome
Last edited 4 years ago by montythisseemsstrangetome
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

My new boss is named Judith, and I pointed out to her that she needed to live up to her namesake in watching out for her minions. She dug it, Holofernes didn’t stand a chancecomment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The post that disappeared, I’ll try again.

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Yes Mr. Balls, the artist’s name IS Eric Yanker.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I just don’t understand why those ass-cheek-faces put me in mind of the Big Man Japan kaiju.comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

Be friendly to ugly men…

THIS IS IT, LADIES!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

107 Clip and mail him a funny cartoon…

Mr Moose, are you trying to seduce me?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Cartoon delivery will be late, if sent via USPS.

Don T

Don’t tell dirty stories!
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montythisseemsstrangetome

Volunteer for jury duty. Convict him just for the conjugal visits.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Yes Mr. Balls, the artist’s name IS Eric Yanker

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I fucked that up.

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herodotus450

(Taps cigar ash into ashtray)
(Pets sleeping, hairless cat on the arm of my chair, shrouded in shadows)
Hmm, Dallas… why not?
(Pushes button on desk that lights up to read “Dallas Wins Stanley Cup 2020”)
(The hairless cat is actually Gary Bettman)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Willy?

My fuckin’ ass

Don T

Florida is uncharacteristically discreet.

Gumbygirl

They’re all dicks there.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think that is part of the joke.

Viva La Tabula Raza

no one in Texas has ever heard the word Plonker.

Unsurprised

Plonkers are how Andy Reid was singlehandedly responsible for ending Applebee’s all you can eat riblets special.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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“Pie?”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Who the fuck is watching the RNC and thinking “yeah, these people are rational, they should run shit”?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

I saw one picture on CNN and immediately thought “Nuremberg, 1934”.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“All this red meat even makes *me* feel a little ill.” – Andy Reid

Gumbygirl

I was planning on watching it, I really was! I turned the channel in disgust about two minutes after the network coverage started. Now I’m watching Hoarders, and I feel like this woman with trash up to the ceiling and millions of roaches would make an excellent president, compared to Trump.

Redshirt

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/claudia-conways-parents-kellyanne-and-george-plan-to-quit-their-jobs-after-she-tweeted-about-emancipation/ar-BB18kaMJ?ocid=uxbndlbing

Best Case Scenario: Motherhood trumps Trump and Kellyanne and George Conway are doing a great thing by putting family before politics.

Worst Case Scenario: Kellyanne and George Conway has proved that no relationship can survive solely based on Makeup Sex and Hatef*cking.

scotchnaut

Alternate Scenario*: Claudia is aware of her parents net worth of approx. 50 million and wants a cut of the grift money.

*Let’s go way dark

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Kellyanne is pretty shrewd, so I think this is crisopportunity for her – a chance to abandon a sinking ship while looking like she’s doing it for a moral reason.

scotchnaut

“My liege, you hath speltted ‘shrew’ incorrectly.”

-Petruchio

Redshirt

I think both of you misspelled “c**t”.

Redshirt

Oh, yeah. She knows the waters have breached the watertight bulkheads and the ships going under. But you gotta give the she-devil her due. If he loses, she doesn’t get the blame. If he wins, she can return because she left on good terms.

scotchnaut

If she’s that smart it’ll be two book deals (George gets the other), a sitcom pitch, some sort of Democrat vs. Republican reality show situated on a Caribbean island, t-shirts at the Iowa State Fair and a hostess spot on the Home Shopping Network.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She’s a fucking idiot who fits right in.

Viva La Tabula Raza

“My Parents are Cunts, Where are the Child Protective Services When You Need Them?”
Bit wordy for a book title, might need to be tightened up for the Hallmark Movie version.

Last edited 4 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Shrewd? I don’t see it.That’s like calling Homer Simpson Machiavellian.

Unsurprised

All I see are a bunch of adult assholes manipulating an idiot* 15 year old

*All 15 year olds are idiots

jjfozz

Earl Thomas and brother change location of their Tinder profiles from Baltimore to Dallas. See ya later, you bag of shit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

Now I know I said I’m not voting Republican this election, but I’m afraid I’ll relapse when they announce their Party Platform.

CNN: “The Republican National Convention for the first time, decided not to pass a platform of their positions but instead said they fully support Donald Trump.”

That’s not cultish at all. Well, hopefully I won’t be swayed by three nights of all Republicans and no Trump until the last night.

CNN: “It was just announced that Donald Trump will be speaking on all four nights of the convention.”

Now you’re making this up.

CNN: “No, I swear its true. Ask the other news channels.”

(changes channel)

MSNBC: “Do you even have to check?”

(changes channel)

Fox News: “Yeah, even we’re getting a bit creeped out by this shit.”

(changes channel)

OAN: “!aдвapn oтэ pmurT !aдвapn oтэ pmurT !aдвapn oтэ pmurT”

(turns off TV)

God, I miss football.

King Hippo

FITBAW will be back soon, Magical Pony. FITBAw will make it all better.

/ish

litre_cola

So will futbol!

scotchnaut

“Your league and its rules, sub-rules and sub-sub-rules confuses and frightens me.”

-Unfrozen Caveman Scotchy

Unsurprised

Russia doesn’t have the capacity to influence shit, and there are literally four or five countries with more influence over Trump and the election than it (China, Israel, Saudi Arabia, Turkey, and the UAE); which makes this iteration of the red scare so silly. De Tocqueville predicted two hundred years ago that the U.S. and Russia would always be at odds and for the last 100 the U.S. has used Russia as the bogeyman every time it needed an excuse to destroy the left, destroy labor, destroy economic and political self-determination. And that’s all to say that after all of that, that there is no evil Russkie behind the curtain – we’re destroying ourselves and our country and no amount of scapegoating and fear-mongering is going to change that reality.

Redshirt

Russia’s influence is passive. They know if they actively support Trump, he’s gonna lose by a level that would make George Washington’s elections look like narrow victories.

Their goal is to cast doubt in our elections and, in turn, Democracy. It works because it divides America, which makes us weaker as a country, and allows them to expand their influence in the world.

scotchnaut

Their goal is to cast doubt in our elections, and, in turn, Democracy

Well done Redshirt! I could not have described the GOP better than you just did.

Viva La Tabula Raza

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Gratliff

Cannot believe Ex-Giant, Ex-Viking, and Ex-Cowboy Herschel Walker was at the RNC

Gratliff

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s perfect. HW has a history of idiocy.

Redshirt

I’ll have to check the NFL Bylaws, but I believe this invalidates the Great Train Robbery Trade of 1989 and all of the Dallas Cowboys Super Bowls wins in the 1990s are vacated. Any objections?

Unsurprised

***** DEAFENING SOUND OF SILENCE ******

Viva La Tabula Raza

So my crunchy granola ex-fiance who is from Warwick RI and lives in Attleboro MA called me tonight and we did a mutual Trump Hate-fest for 75 minutes. Her Italian immigrant dad stormed the beaches on 6 June 1944, brought home a French war bride that turned into a junkie and abused GF terribly before dying of a heroin overdose at the kitchen table in front of said GF when she was about nine years old about 1965 or so; lifetime of therapy has followed. Her dad is 95 and in a home for mild dementia, he’s a jewel.
God I wish it had worked out between us, she is so fucking cool, but we met too late in life to be able to make the necessary changes. I still love that woman with all my heart.
Truck Fump.

Unsurprised

It’s only too late when you’re dead.

That’s what I keep telling myself.

Unsurprised

But I don’t know shit about fuck when it comes to women.

rockingdog

last funny:

Interviewer: says here you have been roofing your entire life

Dog: that is correct

scotchnaut

I’m sorry, but Cassie Campbell looks as though she learned about the existence of makeup yesterday.

herodotus450

Didn’t expect to be adding “catty” to my list of Scotchy’s attributes, but here we are.

scotchnaut

Just you wait. I’ve got a screed regarding Mike Milbury’s man-scaping abilities! I’m an equal opportunity meower.

Unsurprised

The worst part about being a morbidly fat fucking piece of shit is not the crippling lack of self-worth or being physically repellant to others, especially the opposite sex, but that it takes so goddamn much booze to get me drunk. I should go to the liquor store.

BTW, my mortgage broker sent me a shitty email after ignoring me for a while so I’m righteously pissed. I want a fucking house, goddamnit.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Two years ago I was morbidly obese, and had the gastric bypass surgery. I had to pay for it out of my own pocket because fuck you Blue Cross Blue Shield. 15 grand, but I lost 100 pounds and was able to stop taking insulin.
Anecdotal I know, and YMMV. I even lost enough weight and gained enough confidence that I went out to a local bar and picked up a gal and brought her home for fun times, and she came back for several rematches as well. No contact since the Rona, unfortunately.

Last edited 4 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Unsurprised

No, I know. I get it. I’ve considered it, but I know that I can lose the weight. I’ve done it before. It’s keeping it off. But right now I’m working on losing it again, and this time I have a plan for holding steady.

Which is mind-blowing, like the buying a house bit. Five years, Hell, one year ago – That wouldn’t have been a dream. Now I have ten year plans to get right with money, health, and the universe.

I appreciate it, though. I know you and others have your own struggles and bullshit to deal with. I’m trying to take the good parts from you all and people like tWBS. Damn it. I miss that dude.

scotchnaut

I was told that Philly was the better team…

Gratliff

Did you not talk to Flyers fans?

scotchnaut

Why would I lower myself to that level?

[runs away laughing]

herodotus450

Wait what, why was the net empty?

Gratliff

Extremely Vigneault moment

herodotus450

“Patrick Roy pulled his goalie with 5 minutes left well I’m TWICE the coach he is!”

Gratliff

It’s always good when you find out the goalie’s been pulled by watching the empty net goal

Gratliff

Well shit

Gratliff

Well, Flyers can’t win in 5 if the Islanders don’t win one

Gratliff

Sub-optimal

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Season ticket holders will get first crack

Unsurprised

Not so long as Jim Irsay is alive to stop it

WCS

RNC: I’m so lucky to have bailouts from President Trump! Joe Biden supports them! Go Trump!

RNC: President Trump says bailouts are for losers! Biden likes them! He sucks! Go Trump!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

People having a lot of fun with Raw’s virtual crowd
https://twitter.com/aaronrift/status/1298052990197260289
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Unsurprised

Utmost respect to the fan who makes this shirt’s image their Zoom screen:

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Last edited 4 years ago by Unsurprised
rockingdog

found a funny:

stacy’s mom has got a throwing arm / she says go deep
and it sails for so long
stacy can’t you see that your mom could play QB

Dunstan

“That’s why I’m in love with Stacy’s mom.” — Rex G.

Gratliff

Fuck yeah. Another goalie competition. This will do wonders for my blood pressure.

herodotus450

Usually the Russian Goaltender is destroying Philadelphia from the inside*
*see Bobrovsky; Bryzgalov

Sharkbait

For flyers Islanders, I’ll go with my usual standby: meteor

herodotus450

Still think the best way for refs to separate team scrums, in any sprot, is to just ignore them and get ready for the next play. Drop the puck even if no one’s there, set the football and start the playclock, etc. Gives an actual incentive for the players to stop fighting and play.

ballsofsteelandfury

This is exactly what happens in AFL.

Reason # 5727 it’s better than the NFL…

herodotus450

And I didn’t know the Arena League was even still going…
ESPECIALLY when there’s a pileup after a fumble but the refs have already made a call on possession. Just walk away from the pile and make them look like idiots

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*Reasons YOU like it more.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m not making a comparison of the sports. I’m saying the AFL runs its sport better than the NFL runs its sport.

I don’t think anyone can argue against that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes they can, your statement is a fallacious point; the two sports are entertainment, you are making a statement about a procedure in the rules of the entertainment, a minor one at that. The exact opposite can be argued that players commonly involved is fights should be punished with the stick. Scrums don’t really take place in baseball and football, it is a conflict between two individuals that spreads.

If you actually were talking about how the sport is being “run” you would say something about profits, fan base, merchandising, how they treat their players, etc.

ballsofsteelandfury

Balls Crack Analysis: That’s a lovely crack. Approved!

herodotus450

This Kevin Hayes I call him Rutherford B. Hayes because his conservative ideology on that play is really dividing his team!
/Heh, turns out you can just make up any old thing about old dead presidents and probably nobody will notice or care

Viva La Tabula Raza

What bill is that Rutherford dude on? $5,000?

Viva La Tabula Raza

I don’t know shit about hockey, but shouldn’t it take more than a year or two for an expansion team to be a first seed (Las Vegas)?

Gratliff

I still think the first year was more flukish than anything. As for this year, they traded like maniacs to build their teams. Seattle types expecting the same for the Kraken will be very sad when they realize they’re getting Pacific Thrashers.

WCS

Seattle may actually be worse than Ottawa’s first season back (1992-93).

Dunstan

Isn’t Seattle getting the same expansion draft rules that Vegas did?

Gumbygirl

Fuck, that 2 rating is my fault. I did it by accident, sorry!

herodotus450

Tough Love, sometimes you need it

Gratliff

No sweat. Balanced it out with a 1.

Viva La Tabula Raza

My click pushed it to a 3.6.

montythisseemsstrangetome

I gave beerguy a 1 on this post for his outlandish assertion that truth trumps fiction. And yes, I know the word choice was intentional.

Gratliff

Thinking about some big shifts tonight
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bs_3PeQQUxc

Gratliff