[DOOR FLIES OPEN]

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Beerguyrob

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As August winds down & September beckons, I’m reminded of a particular quirk in North American education programs.

Why do US schools open in August?

I mean, it makes sense in Nunavut.

I’m constantly reminded of this seeming anachronism every year, but the COVID issue has made it particularly acute, as it’s on the news constantly. Do southern schools have A/C? Because that would be the only way it could be plausible for a Georgia school to be open in August, at least to me. I taught summer school for a decade, which ran six weeks from the start of July to the middle of August. That was hot enough in a Canadian brick & mortar school. I can’t imagine the internal temperatures of the buildings in the Palm Spring Unified School District, but GinMom routinely informs me every year that school has returned in the Valley.

Plus, I know how much US teachers are paid, and even with the exchange rate I make 1/3 more than the highest paid US public non-football coach school teacher. Summer school is a bonus on top of regular salary up here. I couldn’t bear having to go back to work when it’s still technically summer, and into a building with a temperature that would make a Russian leave his sauna.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Dallas Stars vs. Colorado Avalanche – 6:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet1
      • Game 4 – Dallas leads 2-1
    • Philadelphia Flyers vs. NY Islanders – 8:00PM | NBC / Sportsnet
      • Game 4 – NYI leads 2-1
    • Vancouver Canucks vs. Vegas Golden Knights – 10:30PM | NBCSN / CBC
      • Game 4 – Vegas leads 2-1
  • NBA:
    • Nuggets vs. Jazz – 8:30PM | TNT / TSN
      • Game 6 – Jazz lead 3-2
  • MLB:
    • Braves at Phillies – 7:00PM | ESPN / ESPN2 / TSN3
  • MLS Soccer:
    • Seattle Sounders vs. Los Angeles FC – 10:00PM | FS1

Enjoy your evening.

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Doktor Zymm

Of all my picks, I’m happiest with my last round kicker pick. Hajrullahu! Hajrullahu! Haaaaj..ruuuuu….llahu!

3
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Per someone else’s comment earlier:
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3
Doktor Zymm

I hate people

4
Unsurprised

This is a lazy, shitty, insultingly stupid metaphor.

-2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Not this year it isn’t.

2
Unsurprised

Every year

0
Unsurprised

I’ve heard this song in 2004, 2008, 2016, and now 2020.

I don’t care.

0
scotchnaut

Despite a set of monster RBs, Dead Hobos aren’t exactly what you’d call strong

Ah, shut up!

4
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fantasy Draft complete.

Can Newton isn’t even going to start, is he?

2
Doktor Zymm

Not if he’s smart

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

So you’re saying there’s a chance…

3
Mr. Ayo

On the contrary, he will lead my squadron to the title. All hail Belicheat!

0
Unsurprised

It’d be funnier if this were dashcam footage, but this was part of a training flight.

https://twitter.com/hoaxeye/status/1299933348148776960?s=10

0
Doktor Zymm

Wait, are those just random people with phones hanging out on the runway during military practice?

1
Unsurprised

It’s a highway

1
Doktor Zymm

So…did they close the highway? I have many questions here

1
Unsurprised

Longer video https://t.me/russianaviation_AD/14754?single

Last edited 5 years ago by Unsurprised
1
Doktor Zymm

Apparently 4 teams are having fans in the stands to start the season. I put over/under on season cancellation at 4 weeks

2
Sharkbait

They wont because money. The Shield! takes no prisoners.

1
scotchnaut

I got the “D”.

/also, no flex position? I’d like to speak to the manager about me not paying attention

Last edited 5 years ago by scotchnaut
4
litre_cola

I thought that there was one too. I did not go through it with a fine tooth comb I guess.

1
Doktor Zymm

Yeah, the third WR slot instead. Oh well, doesn’t matter, they’ll all get Covid at the same time no matter what position they play

2
ballsofsteelandfury

Assholes:

With a Couple Stretches, TWBS’ dead goat BJs Have a Great Team if the Goal is to Finish Dead Last

3
Mr. Ayo

Why do have 2 defenses? Be active on the waiver wire and you could be ok.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Because I didn’t realize until it was too late that we only had 15 picks.

Oh, and the No Flex thing tripped me up too.

This is the kind of menacing foe you are facing this year.

3
Mr. Ayo

If I had boots, I would be quaking in them.

1
Doktor Zymm

That reminds me, anyone who ever visited the AC Taj and voted for Trump has no excuse for not knowing what was coming

5
Doktor Zymm

When I was in high school I thought it would be way better to be part of an empire on the start of the downswing, cause decadence. I guess that was true for about 5 years in the early 2000s during the poker boom, but otherwise I miscalculated

2
Senor Weaselo

Ah yes, the poker boom. Where you bet “points” because then you weren’t betting real money and wouldn’t get in trouble!

2
Unsurprised

Well, it depends on where you are in the empire.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Memorial TWBS FF League Draft went swimmingly.

I expect to get an F grade.

3
Doktor Zymm

I’m expecting somewhere in the D+ range

1
Sharkbait

D+ WOOOOO

2
Doktor Zymm

B+? Whaaa?

1
Doktor Zymm

Huh, apparently I have the third easiest strength of schedule. That’s what comes from kinda trying to avoid the teams that actively try to lose I guess

1
Mr. Ayo

I’m getting a B+ grade I think.

Which means I’ll lose most of my matches this year.

1
Mr. Ayo

And I was just informed I did get a B+. lol

1
Senor Weaselo

I got an A. I’m not going to win a single matchup.

1
litre_cola

The only one who hadn’t set his team name.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

Ha! Just got it. I’m a C-!

0
blaxabbath

I bet Doug Petersen is really respectful to the Flyers and their coach.

1
blaxabbath

Just turned on the nhl side. Still very much enjoying these announcers. Makes the whole experience less harsh than THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL ON SUNDAY!!!!!!!! COLTS AT BILLLLLLLLLLLZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!

2
rockingdog

wat

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Unsurprised

TMI

Last edited 5 years ago by Unsurprised
1
rockingdog

PADRES get the W!!!!
yea dog

1
Dunstan

Protest march just went by. Seems relatively small and peaceful.

1
Unsurprised

“That just won’t do” — cops and MAGAts hopping into their pickups

6
Dunstan

Yeah, exactly.

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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1
Unsurprised

Do I want to know what HNIC stands for?

0
Unsurprised

OOhhhh. Hockey Night in Canada.

1
rockingdog

kind of feels weird not seeing either Durant or steph curry in the NBA postseason

1
Gratliff

It’s almost like getting out-shot 2-1 is a bad thing

2
SonOfSpam

“I would take that.”

-Jacob Blake

5
Viva La Tabula Raza

I really like hanging here with you folks. Too bad society and civilization here in the US is going to be over soon. It’s been fun!

2
Sharkbait

We had a good run.

1
Gratliff

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I got over sixty years out of it, my Patriots finally manned up after i rooted for them from 1968 onward, Spurs with Duncan kicked some ass, even the Red Sox showed some life. The Colt 1911 still sits in the bottom drawer of the night stand and will be the final exit of choice if we ever get down to it, but that is going to be some deeply disturbing shit gonna have to take place before I even start thinking about it.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

We’re not there yet. There’s still plenty of good. Hang in there for a bit more.

2
SonOfSpam

You’re referring, of course. to dat ass.

And you’re correct.

2
Unsurprised

Did we?

0
Don T

Status: drinking

Vision: most

Mission: be buzzed enough to draft AJ Brown on Rd. 1

5
litre_cola

I shortened the pick times to 45 secs.

1
SonOfSpam

Still seems like a long time.

1
Mr. Ayo

Your poor wife

1
SonOfSpam

In many many ways.

4
Sharkbait

11pm? West coast bias in action right here

2
SonOfSpam

FINALLY.

3
litre_cola

I meant it to start at 8. Yahoo thinks the western portion of this country all runs on Arizona time. Fuckers.

2
SonOfSpam

Never let a Canadian set a schedule.

“Start time? Around sunset or later, just whenever, eh? We’ll figure it oot.”

6
litre_cola

Our small place is hot like a sweatshop but Mrs Cola made Blueberry Vanilla, Nectarine & Lime, Rhubarb & strawberry jams today. Bring on the gluten.

5
Sharkbait

I still have ghost pepper jam I made.

3
litre_cola

With goats cheese on a cracker?

2
Unsurprised

Mrs Cola sounds awesome as fuck

0
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

The Padres have made 4 trades in 3 days.
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Oh. I see.

Last edited 5 years ago by Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
6
rockingdog

Goooo Padres!

0
rockingdog

found a funny:

If you get bitten by a shark, bite it back. You’ll still probably die but the shark will be like “lol what”

2
Sharkbait

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herodotus450

Brilliant hockey insight by some guy on the teevee: “Stuff happens.”

3
rockingdog

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

spooky

0
Unsurprised

That’s when other people do it. When people in the U.S. do it, they’re terrorists.

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

*black people

0
Unsurprised

Anyone opposing the state becomes black in the state’s eyes

0
Gratliff

Tra Thomas with one of the best tweet/photo combinations you'll ever see.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">I’m seeing a lot of different reactions on JP wanting more money to go back to LT. All I have to say about this is, you always pay a premium for better protection. Now get out and enjoy this beautiful Sunday!! GO BIRDS!!! <a href="https://t.co/vatTRu2fSJ">pic.twitter.com/vatTRu2fSJ</a></p>&mdash; Tra Thomas (@72TraThomas) <a href="https://twitter.com/72TraThomas/status/1300046509497606145?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 30, 2020</a></blockquote>

1
Gratliff

Backup vs. Backup in Flyers-Islanders. Do we get double curse of the backup goalie, or defense optional? Definitely would enjoy a not boring game.

0
rockingdog

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Don T

Amazing

1
Fronkenshteen

Well, it would appear the Braves have had JUST about enough of the Phillies shit. A 10 run inning!

0
Gratliff

Would be good enough for 2 runs against an actual MLB team

0
Gratliff

OSKAR LINDBLOM IN FLYERS WARMUPS! SMILE UPON US, HOCKEY GODS!

1
Fronkenshteen

That’s amazing. How can a guy recovering from bone cancer not be too immune-compromised to play?

2
Gratliff

Well, see, the thing about that is

2
Sharkbait

I hate the Flyers as much as the next Metro rival, but god damn his story is impressive as hell. Good for him!

2
Redshirt

Hey, no fair! I called that for my autobiography’s title!

3
Sharkbait

Lets go Vegas!!

May have visited my sister in New Hampshire today, where mobile sports gambling is legal. PRAISE GAMBLOR!

Last edited 5 years ago by Sharkbait
2
Redshirt

Bengals Defense beat the Offense in the scrimmage. Offense showed flashes, but it looks like a long season for them.

0
Gratliff

Once upon a time, ESPN actually cared about the NHL, and even aired games. There was a dandy video/commercial they did with “O Fortuna” about the life cycle of a fan during an NHL playoff series that apparently doesn’t exist online. In fact, it’s so obscure that the 7th hit on google is a comment I made here 3 years ago complaining about the same thing. Very sad. Closest I’ve found is a 1997 playoffs montage they did, but I’ll not be sharing that.

1
blaxabbath

Contact the boys at Reply All about it!

https://gimletmedia.com/shows/reply-all

0
Gratliff

Just an incredibly 2002 video package
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ul8n_KZ0MEo

1
blaxabbath

I’m so interested in how this school year is playing out. Locally is all online (private schools in person). From the few people I know (Kindergarten through 6th grade parents), it sounds absolutely fucked. But I haven’t really heard anything about schools teaching in person. Guess they’re fine?

1
Gratliff

We were offered a full virtual and a hybrid in-class. We went full virtual. Of course, they then decided to cancel the in-person entirely until late October, so lol. Starts on Tuesday. Expecting it to be somewhat of a train wreck as it’s the first time out for the district. They’re only offering core subjects for the virtual program too, but I definitely feel they need more than that, so I guess this is the year I teach the boy how to break all my restrictions on the computer.

2
blaxabbath

Our county starts on Monday and the entire system crashed because they didn’t plan for the traffic. Like, what did you think was gonna happen?

Also, I spoke with a girl who has a kindergartener. There have been 7 to 10 kids in his class all week, depending on the segment. It’s not a “great” school— I’m convinced the other 20 kids who are supposed to be in there just won’t have school this year.

1
Gratliff

Google Meet took a massive shit as schools started ramping up last week to the great surprise of no one. At one point, I received 300 admin alerts from google in a 24 hour period. On the bright side, Zoom is quickly fading from the education side as nobody wants to pay for features they can get for free through G Suite. The biggest obstacle will be kids in the more rural areas of our district. There won’t be any shortage of city kids who don’t have reliable internet, but we can toss them a dedicated hot spot and they’re good to go. The ones without steady internet who can barely get a signal are another issue entirely.

3
Unsurprised

Zoom is quickly fading from the education side as nobody wants to pay for features they can get for free through G Suite.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Fuck Zoom, snitch-ass motherfuckers

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Schools in LA County are forced to go full remote by the County Office of Health. When they return, most are looking at “hybrid” options where a student will only go to school 2 or 3 days per week and the rest will be online.

This is so there can be some sort of social distancing in the classroom. With all kids there, it is impossible to social distance.

0
yeah right

Eldest granddaughter was visiting yesterday and all of her classes are virtual. She’s Torrance Unified. She’s playing bass for their jazz band which is all kinds of awesome. She still has no idea how they’re supposed to practice. The Wahini is taking all virtual classes too. She’s first grade.

2
Gumbygirl

My niece teaches at a high school in Virginia. They are doing a combo in school/ online thing. Kids go to school either Monday and Thursday, or Tuesday and Friday, with Wednesday for prep and cleaning. The teachers are expected to do the cleaning in their classrooms. They start after Labor Day. She is fully expecting a shitshow of epic proportions, and is considering giving up on teaching and going to grad school for something else.

1
Gratliff

There’s a not insignificant number of 50+ year old teachers who are jumping ship out of fear of, y’know, dying. Many of them have already earned their pensions, and it’s not particularly encouraging when half the country is telling them they’re just going to have to die for childcare so the parents can work.

7
ballsofsteelandfury

THIS!

3
Viva La Tabula Raza

It’s planned murder. They don’t care.

4
Redshirt

MFW the commentators mention the scoring system for the Offense and Defense scrimmage.
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1
blaxabbath

Also Raytheon

1
blaxabbath

Also, complete fucking morons

1
Viva La Tabula Raza

Air Force Plant 44 for the groundwater contamination plume win!

1
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Just as I start working on the Heretics preview…

https://www.nfl.com/news/chargers-s-derwin-james-meniscus-will-miss-significant-time
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BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

6
blaxabbath

“Significant time is every single mental rep!”

– Patriot Not Watching If They’re Kneeling

2
Dunstan

Has anyone been watching Lovecraft Country? I’ve been thinking about checking it out. I’m not super-knowledgeable about the Lovecraft mythos; I’ve read a couple of his original stories, and have played some Lovecraft-themed games.

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I watched a little. Lovecraft is more Mehcraft, but if into it is is very well done and really good cast.

1
yeah right

Yes! I’ve been watching. It’s based on a book my buddy sent to me a couple of years ago. The book was fantastic. Each character that was introduced had their own horror genre. There was the haunted house, the interdimensional shit that Lovecraft was famous for and it ruled. The show has been fun so far.

0
Viva La Tabula Raza

Haven’t watched. Does it have all of Lovecraft’s racism in the mix? Because that was one racist motherfucker.

0
yeah right

Oh yeah. That’s basically a driving point. It plays really well in our current environment.

0
yeah right

And I’ve read every damn thing that Lovecraft wrote.

0
Viva La Tabula Raza

I guess some would call it a feature and not a bug.

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The way they write the script is great, not the the way he intended at all.

0
Gratliff

I had the mythos basically beaten into me thanks to my years of World of Warcraft where Blizzard attempted to use basically his entire library. I like the idea of co-opting the whole thing into a Black story. I wonder if they’ll take shots at his cartoonish levels of racism too.

0
Gratliff

memories~
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0
Don T

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13
Redshirt

What about that color coordination? Is that negotiable?

EDIT: The clothes! I’m talking about the clothes!

Last edited 5 years ago by Redshirt
5
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nice edit. Maybe if it is Bengals colors people will donate jerseys.

1
Redshirt

My You-Just-Did-Something-Stupid-Sense starting tingling.
comment image/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/250?cb=20080419172713

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

That won’t help, unfortunately.

0
Redshirt

Bengals offense looks good or the defense looks bad. Also, with piped-in crowd noise, it sounds like the broadcasting booth is in the bottom deck of the Brent Spence Bridge in rush hour. Except this time traffic is moving instead of stopped.

1
blaxabbath

D looks bad.

1
Redshirt

Yup. We’re gonna need to score 28 points in a game to have a chance.

0
blaxabbath

Time to bring back PacMan, Burfict, and AJ McCarron….

0
Redshirt

YOUSHUTYOURWHOREMOUTH!!!, YOUSHUTYOURWHOREMOUTH!!!, maybe.

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Is it short or just a weird color?

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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1
Gratliff

Finally getting around to the Fargo series. 5 eps in now. I slept on this show for too long.

2
Unsurprised

Season 5 started?!?!

0
ballsofsteelandfury

In California, school used to start in September after Labour Day, as God intended. Then, stupid liberal idiots that didn’t think the kids were learning enough thought that they needed more instructional minutes in the year and God Forbid you take away professional development days for the teachers, so they pushed the start of school up.

Never mind that the reason education has gone down in California is the lack of funding.

1
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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4
Redshirt

No preseason means the local radio is airing the Bengals scrimmage.

Cincinnati Bengals vs. Cincinnati Bengals in a primetime game. Somehow both of them will lose this one.

4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was about to ask how that could be possible and then I realized that they could all get injuries.

1
Redshirt

Or, 2020 could be deciding to check out early and end with the football equivalent of dividing by zero.

2
Unsurprised

Why do US schools open in August?

Because this stupid fucking country is an anachronism living in the 1920s when we had to cater to the goddamn farmers that haven’t existed in this country in any significant numbers since we bombed Japan. Same reason daylight saving time, which is not just pointless buy biologically harmful to millions.

3
litre_cola

And that fucks Yahoo draft times if you live in the mountain time zone. WE ALL ARENT ARIZONA, WE STILL HAVE THAT STUPID TIME CHANGE.

3
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

School starting in September has nothing to do with the farmers. It was so the rich didn’t need to be at school during the hottest months and could fuck off to the lake.

3
Gratliff

It’s important to understand that America hates most teachers because they try to educate children, which makes the whole system hard to maintain as those children get older. Good teachers are the things Americans are raised to hate most behind some vague caricature of a 1950’s communist dictator.

5
blaxabbath

I recall that white supremacist families used to hold themselves as intellectually superior to their darker skinned brethren. It was logical and “just the truth.” Then said brethren got educated. Now white supremacist families openly spur education.

But they aren’t driven by race…..

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

The right’s plan to defund education to produce a nation of morons, started under Reagan 40 years ago, continues to pay dividends.

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