Testing… Testing… Is This Thing On? Your Thursday Night Football Eyegasm Open Thread

Damn right it’s on! Whew, what a frickin’ ride to get to this point. I just want to thank all the hardcore commenters that kept this thingy of ours afloat when there was so little sports going on that we resorted to Korean baseball and made the best of it. Things aren’t normal-far from it, but a veil of normalcy in the form of the return of NFL football has dropped on our collective heads. I’ll take it. I’ll take it and run with it, thankyouverymuch.

I’m curious, perhaps like many of you, about how the crowds will look/sound, the response to kneeling, coaches interactions with refs, the quality of play, how Covid will be managed, and a hundred other things. Let’s tackle all that shit down below but for now we need to go…TO THE GAME!

Texans vs. Chiefs:

-the spread is 9.5/10 which seems about right (because Vegas does what it does). The game script to me looks like the Chiefs getting on all their horses early and Watson and Co. struggling to keep up. I think he’s got a shot at it because KC’s secondary is not quite the same unit that came together at the halfway point of the season.

-Both David Johnson (play him while he’s upright) and Edwards-Hilaire should get plenty of touches in the form of catches out of the backfield. The rookie will get some because coach Reid is a master of putting his rb’s in space and DJ will do the same because even a coach like Bill O’Brien knows that the Chiefs gives up tons of yards (100 catches for 951) to them guys wandering out from behind the qb.

-what of the absence of Hopkins? What does it really mean for the Texans O? Well, in the two games they played vs. one another last year Hopkins came up with 12 first downs. That’s huge for a team. Right now Cooks is a game-timer and I would think the medical staff wouldn’t take the chance. What’s left? There’s Fuller, Cobbs and Kenny “He’s still in the league?” Stills-not much to look at. They’ll put it together as a unit over the course of the season but tonight is not the night.

-Players props, you say? Take the over on everything regarding Kelce. Due to injury he’ll be defended by Lonnie Johnson Jr, the owner of the very worst PFF score for a cb with 30. No one else was under 40.

As I always say, if you’re new to the site please say hello-we have a shit-ton of fun here on game days. If you happen to already have an account and haven’t said ‘boo’ in a while, we’d love to see your smiling text. Have at it, one and all. We’re back and I’m real fucking happy.

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LemonJello

And our first review of the season.

litre_cola

No TD.

King Hippo

Hate to be so controversial, but I think this Mahomes might be pretty good.

tomsellecksmoustache

I still say he should have moved to wide receiver.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Okay, that’s fucking funny.

King Hippo

INDEED

Spur

He’s no Mitch Kissing Titties.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WhyEaglesWhy

Let’s do a pool for the first time in the game BBQ sauce appears on Andy’s shield.

LemonJello

Who had “pregame” ?

litre_cola

My pizza and wings came with boneless wings by accident. As a gentleman notified his city council a few weeks back, these are not wings, they are trash. I will still eat them.

King Hippo

yeah, but bad FITBAW is still soooooo much better than…real life

Spur

I like my balls flaring out too Cris

Sharkbait

Especially on a hot and muggy day

Spur

And you’re going to enjoy IT!

tomsellecksmoustache

Stadium looks like the last three minutes of the usual Thursday night AFC South matchup.

WhyEaglesWhy

Andy Reid is an odd choice for the remake of Flashdance.

Gumbygirl

There it is. Pash rush.

WhyEaglesWhy

They’re in KC. Saying “they have to wear masks except when they’re eating or drinking” is functionally the same as “no one has to wear masks”.

jjfozz

Clete Blakeman.

makeitsnowondem

Clake Bleteman

jjfozz

Blete Clackman

makeitsnowondem

Blake Cleteman

jjfozz

Namekalb Etecl

Beerguyrob

“Are you my dad?”

— Trent Green

Beerguyrob

Clem Bletalak.

jjfozz

Blam Clackete

LemonJello

PRAISE BLEERGH!!!!

King Hippo

Get used to seeing that FITBAW on the turf, TheShaun

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

I demand Cris wears a dashiki for the 2nd half

ArmedandHammered

I demand he wear a ball gag!

King Hippo

porque no los dos?

jjfozz

“i’m going to do my job tonight”
Oh, ruin the experience?
Fuck you Cris

makeitsnowondem

With the pandemic still ongoing, this season’s going to be unlike anything we’ve ever seen before. I mean, Kevin White might finally catch something.

litre_cola

He was a first round pick you know
-J. Bettis
Detroit, MI

Last edited 4 years ago by litre_cola
Beerguyrob

Travis Tritt is ready.
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King Hippo

Players taking ownership, that’s the key. Empowering. A positive start, at least.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Are you TRYING to kill Jerry Richardson?

King Hippo

ooooh, musta been mah subsconscious

SonOfSpam

I stand for the anthem, right hand over my heart, left hand furiously masturbating.

I’ve never made it the whole song.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nationalistic bukakke is fucking great.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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SonOfSpam

There it is.

jjfozz

That left hand needs some love

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This is the kind of red rocket joke we need in these time of turmoil. Plastic cone.

Sharkbait

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jjfozz

Me: Why would people boo this?
My Son: Well, it is Missouri

Spur

I heard some boos for the KC fans. Mahomes leaving!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brocky

I hope every single player kneels

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“JJ suports the trups!”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello

-DFO’s German contingent perks up

Spur

Thoughts and prayers

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Hummpf.”

Sasha Grey

Brocky

No way in hell this woman was born within 500 miles of Chicago

ArmedandHammered

By past metrics, the amount of fans at this game would be an exceptional turnout for the Chargers.

litre_cola

I figured they would all kneel. Hell, the whole Canadian Premier league is kneeling every game.

Beerguyrob

If all goes well, DFO will pass its 800,000th comment tonight.

It’ll likely be a Moose gif.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Or maybe a YouTube video posted at 4 AM by AFLXMXL (sp?).

Gatoraids

Five em a few months and the Nfl will have a The Police reunion head the Superbowl halftime show

Spur

They come in a combo deal? – Thomas Jefferson

makeitsnowondem

Gentlemen.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello

SNOW!
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jjfozz

So in this leadup to the game, they show a [*Redacted] s player – um, guys?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Happy Thursday/ opening day.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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jjfozz

That’s got to be jelly, cause jam don’t shake like that!

Brocky

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LemonJello

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litre_cola

Are we still support to respect the troopz? Or wear pink? What are we supposed to do Roger?? Save us!

Gatoraids

Trade away top receiver so more in hands of the passing game, collinsworth in peak form already

King Hippo

yeah, that was Peak That Guy

Gumbygirl

Pash rush.

The Maestro

LET’S FUCKIN’ GOOOOOOOOOO
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Last edited 4 years ago by The Maestro
jjfozz

I see new faces posting on this thread, andI have to admit, THAT’S SOME GREAT HUSTLE!

Spur

The lovely LA smoke has made the trip to KC.

clint greasewood

Are you ready for the sloppy football with loads of injuries.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Why is it Chief’s Kingdom? I don’t recall any monarchical Native American tribes.

LemonJello

Shit. Rona couldn’t have taken Collinsworth?

jjfozz

You can’t kill what is already dead.

Beerguyrob

Skyline is a preservative.

Spur

That mask belongs over your nose too, asshole

Viva La Tabula Raza

Like wearing a condom on your ballsack.

LemonJello

Nose to asshole? That’s some human centipede stuff going on there.

jjfozz

That movie was upsetting. Couldn’t make it thorugh hte third one because it was straight up shit

Viva La Tabula Raza

I read the synopsis and ran in the opposite direction.

ArmedandHammered

I have to swallow enough shit at work, no way I am going to watch it for entertainment.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Did Frederick’s of Trubisky go out of business?

litre_cola

Fans are allowed? I am sure they distanced properly in the tailgate.

LemonJello

Still surprised Andy’s Gatorade bath wasn’t sausage gravy.

jjfozz

Wow, Norma’s voice is straight up nails on a chalkboard.

jjfozz

My fantasy football team’s name is The Corleone Bent Noses.