Your Monday Night Football Open Thread

It’s hard not to be excited for this one, isn’t it? But first, let’s do

Fallout:

-Foles is in and we’ve likely seen the last of Truth Biscuit in a Bears uni, barring injury. Looks like he becomes just another backup that floats around and you hear his name and say, “He’s still in the league?”.

-Another candidate must be Team’s Haskins. His QBR is 28, 10 points behind backup Kyle Allen’s 38. His percentage of uncatchable passes sits at 31.1% which is 10 points higher than the next in line.

-More qb news? Okay, Carson Wentz has also been all kinds of awful-on passes beyond 10 yards he throws an uncatchable ball an amazing 62.2% of the time. The next worst guy is at 50%.

-Josh Allen made believers out of some folks but not me. But then I looked at one stat and did a double-take. He sits at 13th in the league in adjusted pass completions and his PFF passing grade is 5th so far this year at 83.9. You know what might help to improve his play even more? (see below)

-I’ve whined about it, and Hippo has made mention as well-GIVE THE BALL TO SINGLETARY MORE! Yesterday he ran 13 times and had a 5.5 ypc average. He was also thrown to 4 times and made off with a 12.5 yard average. You add that up and it’s 17 touches. I’m not pointing this out as a fantasy guy but as a football fan. I just don’t get it-he’s a dynamic back that simply doesn’t get the opportunity to show what he can do. Gah!

TO THE GAME!

Chiefs/Ravens:

-there’s so much to talk about it’s hard to identify what is most salient but I’ll kick a few cans around.

-K.C. must be stout on early downs so that the Ravens are put in 3rd and long situations. The Ravens convert on 44% of 3rd downs which is a middle of the pack number but are still successful. That’s due to the fact that they don’t see that many because they’re getting fresh downs earlier in the possession. On 4th downs Baltimore led the league in conversions with a gaudy 71% success rate.

-The Chiefs need to target the lb unit because it consists of two rooks and 30 yr old L.J. Fort. Tight ends for the Texans and Browns have feasted to the tune of 16/148/2 so far this year.

-Speaking of te’s, Mark Andrews lines up in the slot 66% of the time so he should see plenty of Honey Badger. That matchup should be interesting.

-You figure this one will be close and high-scoring which means that someone will have to make a play to get the W. Lamar? Pat? Tyreek? Chris Jones? Dobbins? CEH? Who’s it gonna be?

CAN’T WAIT! for you to provide commentary below.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

Last time the Lightning won the cup, there was a lockout the following year. This time there’s an expansion team next(ish) year.

Mr. Ayo

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

(After another season)

Beerguyrob

If I can’t hear the guys I know who are working at the arena boo Gary Bettman I will be terribly disappointed in them.

Horatio Cornblower

Doc Emrick going on and on about the noble tradition of the post-game handshakes like it’s a hari kari ritual by defeated warriors and not a bunch of sweaty guys shaking hands before going out and getting drunk.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

On top of Corey Perry losing, which is nice, former Bruin Tyler Seguin ALSO loses. Which is nice.

Horatio Cornblower

Also the Bruins already lost, so it’s like the winning never stops.

clint greasewood

Fantasy owners of WRs and RBs have to be hating this game.

yeah right

Greetings from the new casa right San Pedro dojo. We’re in. Goddamn I haven’t been this beat up since the last DFO gathering. I can see the Vincent Thomas bridge from my porch!

Fuck that moving shit with a broken rake.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oddly enough I broke a rake last time I moved.

yeah right

Will also accept new rake as a housewarming gift.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Weird thing is I’m not kidding, also broke a table.

yeah right

So far not a single plate, glass or anything has been sacrificed. Best of all two days after the move all of my fishies are still alive and swimming.

Unsurprised

Why didn’t we set up a go fund me for yeah right to afford movers. No one should have to move their own crap.

yeah right

We had movers do the heavy shit today but we’ve moved boxes, kitchen appliances and a goddamn fish tank ourselves just to be safe.

herodotus450

The traditional way to move a fish tank is to take the fish and water out, first.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Laurel and Hardy would like a word.

yeah right

We did. Three five gallon buckets of their original water but you can’t add the additional 25 gallons of water too quick without killing the whole tank
We’re up to about 30 gallons and it’s a 40. Long haul project.

herodotus450

Feels like Dallas has had the puck in the offensive zone for 90% of this period, and NOTHIGN to show for it.

Mr. Ayo

YARD SALE!!!

Gatoraids

Chiefs offense line more fantasy relevant than the Giants

Last edited 4 years ago by Gatoraids
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Jeez, this is on the verge of being a Rodney King-level beatdown.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

King was losing by 37 until the settlement.

Mr. Ayo

FATDOWN!

Unsurprised

The best kind of touchdown

herodotus450

ppl forget Edmonton won more Cups after trading Gretzky than Gretzky did.
/I think.

Sharkbait

You are correct. 1990 Edmonton beat Boston. 1993 LA Lost to Montreal

WCS

NAWT FAHHHHHH

herodotus450

The last Canadian*/Canadien Cup! The Gretzky Curse!
*: if Montreal even counts as such

Horatio Cornblower

1990 was the one where the ice was melting in the fahkin Gahden and there was fog all over the place. I think they had to postpone a game because of it.

Horatio Cornblower

Edmonton has won 5 total, 4 with Gretzky.

I had to look that up, but I can tell right away how many Hartford won.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Heather Thomas has not won any Stanley Cups, but probably should have.

Unsurprised

She still won a couple great cups in life

Horatio Cornblower

Dallas down 2, deep in the Tampa Bay zone with less than 5 minutes to go and passing the puck back and forth. Didn’t realize Mike McCarthy was coaching the Stars, too.

JimU

Are they hoping that Dan Quinn is coaching the Lightning too?

Horatio Cornblower

“And in a remarkable display of confidence Dan Quinn has pulled his goalie wit 8 minutes left and a 2 goal lead! I’ve never seen anything like it!!”

Gatoraids

Mahomes with more poise in the pocket than Alanis morisette

Horatio Cornblower

Ironic, dontcha think?

WCS

You jerkoffs. Take your +1s and go take a celebration piss.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

I think he likes me!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

I lost track of which season I last watched of Fargo. To be honest, I’ve seen so little TV if you told me there was a long-running sitcom about Walmart I wouldn’t blink an eye.

Horatio Cornblower

I only watched 3 all the way through, thought it was great.

I’ve heard season 4 started very slowly. Which would make sense, given that episode 1 aired last night.

Unsurprised

Geez. The first round of Image Comics had a less glacial release schedule.

Sharkbait

If someone told me 3 years ago that Ryan McDonagh and Kevin Shattenkirk would be Stanley Cup champions together, I would’ve lost my shit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Ha ha, the joke’s on the pope: Gene Simmons is a Jewish guy from Israel!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

As we say; that’s the jo………….

Gatoraids

New line; of KISS branded communion hosts he released

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

TURNS OUT BALLS HAS A CAT!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

GET ON THE GUS BUS!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Somewhere definitely outside Atlanta, Matt Ryan smiles approvingly

Gatoraids

Synchronicity 3

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Latest season of Westworld looks bad.

Horatio Cornblower

Looks like a step up from the mess that was Season 3.

King Hippo

yeah, I haven’t even finished it.

Unsurprised

There was a good idea in there.

Spur

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WCS

Exactly how Hue Jackson drew it up in the huddle.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I could never understand why someone would name their child after a city in central Vietnam that was the capital of Đàng Trong from 1738 to 1775 and of the Nguyen Dynasty from 1802 to 1945. Lots of US Marines died there at one point, as well, but they were losers and/or suckers.

Last edited 4 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
WCS

Check it out! Viva Raza is Jared Kushner!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Only the last sentence, but only after being informed.

Mr. Ayo

SLIGHT CHANGE!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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clint greasewood

Justin Tucker
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

Bjork will not tolerate Hakarl slander

Sharkbait

Geese are notoriously territorial
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Unsurprised

Geese are assholes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think you should sing your swan song.

Unsurprised

Damn it

Horatio Cornblower

Bjork threw more punches there than in the last 10 baseball brawls combined.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Certainly more accurate and powerful.

Unsurprised

Jesus. This will haunt me

WCS

“You kids wanna see a dead body?”

Unsurprised

You mean that thing is alive?

Unsurprised

In the next Mad Max film he’ll play the son of the gyrocopter pilot

Sharkbait

C’mon Stars! We want game 7!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

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Gatoraids

Andrews braking out your uncles best dance moves for that stutter step

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

My bad, coach.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

I had that same reaction in the men’s room at work last week.

Spur

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ArmedandHammered

Gate Flies Open, the site for Rodeo satire and dick jokes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This sorta needs banner consideration.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

PRAISE BLEERGH

King Hippo

FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

PBUH!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Recovery Whiskey

I’m convinced, Lamar Jackson can run the option

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

SUDDEN CHANGE that probably won’t really make any difference.

WCS

Sudden change….?

Sharkbait

Immediate giveback in 3…2…1…

WCS

Damn close.

Gatoraids

I call this game the Karma Sutra cuz the Chiefs are fucking the Ravens in every position

WCS

Pat Mahomes might have a career at this. Just a thought.

Viva La Tabula Raza

If it doesn’t work out, he can probably milk the State Farm ads for a couple of years anyway, and smart investment could make sure he has a comfortable life.

Spur

Still a Top 5
Just let go of the bike kid
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WCS

He never wanted to have kids, anyway.

Last edited 4 years ago by WCS
Gratliff

This seems like the most lopsided season I’ve ever watched. Just skip to the conference championships already.

SonOfSpam

Bears-Packers then

litre_cola

Bills Chefs? WHO IS THE BURLIEST?????

Spur

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WCS

This is why you don’t stage dive at a James Taylor concert.

Unsurprised

If that’s the rain, what’s the fire?

Sharkbait

Chris Berman.
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Last edited 4 years ago by Sharkbait
Viva La Tabula Raza

I thought that dude retired a decade ago.

King Hippo

He did, and they brought him BACK

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He is the unbald.

SonOfSpam

Matron Saint looking lovely as always.

King Hippo

#FashionForward

Horatio Cornblower

I drive a Subaru; think I’ve got a shot with her.

Fronkenshteen

Steve Young reporting from inside his own luggage.

Spur

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Fronkenshteen

Lamar! starting to look like he wants no part of this.

Spur

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WCS

WWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The asshole not paying attention deserved everything he got…. so yes, I agree.

SonOfSpam

This is a bigger mismatch than the debate tomorrow.

(j/k Lamar ain’t a worthless cumstain)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sometin wrong with LAMAR.

Game Time Decision

The Butler didn’t do it

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYO!

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

– B. Walsh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gatoraids

Can’t wait for the line when the Cheifs play the Jets later this season

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I just checked Vegas and they are 57.5 over the Donks.

King Hippo

Would not bet.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

As it get closer they will push it up to get cents on the Donks.

Game Time Decision

Donks or at all?

Last edited 4 years ago by Game Time Decision
Sharkbait

Asking the real questions.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hippo will bet the coin he flips.

litre_cola

Per the internet The largest spread ever was in 1976 when the Pittsburgh Steelers were 27-point favorites over the expansion Tampa Bay Buccaneers, who finished 0-14 that year and might be the worst team in modern NFL history (at least for now).

Viva La Tabula Raza

Coach John McKay:
“Well, we couldn’t pass, and we couldn’t run, but we made up for it by not tackling.”

Game Time Decision

triple digits?

JimU

+ ∞