“Let Lesser Footy Be Thine Escape” Sabado Open Thread

Hey, did y’all notice?  Darkest Timeline got darker.  As a Karmic punishment, #NuAIDS for teh win!  But chaos is not the ally of the progressive-minded American right now.

So…let’s not think about it.  Lesser Footy and JV NFL slate, commence!

No, you are not waking up (intentionally) for Chelski hosting Palace.  But it streams on Peacock at 7:30, before the real action begins.  Yes, your ONLY 10a window fixture is beat-the-fuck-up-but-still-PERFECT Everton welcoming the Trashbirds (NBCSN).  Brighton have been surprisingly watchable, in the early days.  Should be a reasonably open affair, at minimum.  We get two weeks off to heal up, and that will feel much better sitting on 12 points, rather than 9 or 10.  BUHLEE DAT!

Spotlight dance is City away to New Media Darlings Leeds (12:30, NBC).  As our collaboUrations, eh? panel told you…everyone hates these jammy fucks.  And as such, we Lesser enthUsiasts will expect and welcome the “Angry Pep” beatdown that’s on its way.  Too bad the line will be unbettable, for all practical purposes.

You aren’t streaming Team White Lives Matter away to Barcodes, period, end of.  Our many Spurs supporters – along with bk’s wife (is she unofficially Tank Girl??) and Wakey – will look forward to Sunday Funday’s best entertainment (11:30, NBCSN).  Bleeds into Glorious RedZone time, but everyone remember to wave hello.  You weren’t raised in no goddamned barn!

TCU (+11.5) at Texas (Noon, Fox)

Steerfuckers South are the luckiest sumbitches on the JV planet.  This is perhaps my bet of the week (Bloodeyes to cover in front of God and Gus Johnson).

Texas A&M (+18) at Alabama (3:30, CBS)

Perhaps Roll Damn Tide will have the same jaw-dropping dropoff we saw from LSU last weekend.  But I suspect we will not.  Afternoon nap time MEANS MOAR.

Texas Tech (+2.5) at Kansas State (3:30, FS1)

I know, I know.  TOO MUCH TEXAS.  But this really is fascinating.  Guns Up!! couldn’t be any more deflated, losing like they did against Steerfuckers South last week.  Unded Bill Snyders?  Complete opposite, coming off a most improbable comeback win over Steerfuckers North.  And they aren’t even getting the standard 3 (or 4, since is JV), which screams SUCKER BET.

Ole Miss (+6) at Kentucky (4:00, SECN)

This is a pretty big number for Kenfucky FITBAW against pretty much anyone.  Even Lane Kiffin.  I have a sneaking suspicion that this will be wildly entertaining.

Auburn (+7.5) at Georgia (7:30, ESPN)

These seem like two even squadrons to me, and that’s likely EXTREMELY generous to Jawja.  They have no quartered back, and struggled with freaking ARKANSAS last week.  War Damn Eagle has a terrifying front seven.  Put those factors together?  Have to love Aubie ML and maybe even the dreaded under bet.

Arkansas (+17) at Mississippi State (7:30, SECN-Alt)

Yeah, I think we all want to see Mike Leach’s encore.  Hopefully, his QB’s arm ain’t fall off from all that LSU embarrassing duty.  Pig Sooey were scrappy last week, but I am mostly seeing that as UGA weakness.

Oklahoma (-7) at Iowa State (7:30, ABC)

Both these teams ought to be right pissed off.  Vegas thinks Steerfuckers North is the side who can do sommet about it.  I always like Cornpone State more than I should (see pictured cheer squadron).

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Unsurprised

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Last edited 4 years ago by Unsurprised
Gratliff

ABC News said all of its staffers who were in direct contact with Chris Christie will quarantine for 14 days

They continued, “It’s not because of covid exposure. We just don’t want the stink of that man making the workplace unusable.”

Don T

Christie smells like he spent 30 minutes inside a Subway restaurant. Stank I tells ya!

WCS

My second-ever jorb was at Subway. The only way to rid oneself of that smell is to burn your clothes, and walk through a car wash.

Last edited 4 years ago by WCS
Gratliff

The most off-putting thing about Subway to me was always that it smelled nothing like a sub shop. It’s maddening.

Gumbygirl

Doug Jones ad during the Bama game! Made me laugh!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Announcing team on A&M/Tide game just bagged hard on Tuesday’s debate debacle.

STICK TO SPROTS!!!

WCS

JV DUUUUVVVAAALLLLL is up 14-0 on Florida State

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

DEFENSE!!

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scotchnaut

That defender was a first round pick of the New York Giants in 1925!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GD6qtc2_AQA&ab_channel=JacobM.

WCS

CUE COUNTRY ROADS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

Anyone else calling out their kitchen utensils right now? I had some sourdough dinner rolls and my serrated bread knife was supposed to get the job done but it fucked up. Not sure how 2020 could get any worse.

Last edited 4 years ago by scotchnaut
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Game Time Decision

I’ll take the defective dinner rolls off your hands

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Works for me!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

For 2020, Horns/Horned Frogs is kinda bananacakes.

Gratliff

Anyone used Masque of the Red Derp yet?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ArmedandHammered

Love it!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog

found a funny:

stranger: im gonna walk slow

me: can i pass u

stranger: only if u wanna feel pressured to walk even faster so i dont awkwardly catch up to u

me: life is bad

stranger: [nods] so bad

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

I’ll never understand sarcasm.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Understand WHAT?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

[rolls eyes] “That’s not sarcasm, that’s irony!”

-A. Morrisette

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

“I call this game my 13 year-old cousin because it’s really tight!”

-WVU QB

WCS

Joke’s on you! He’s from Florida!

Oh, wait…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He must be really ugly.

scotchnaut

I have no idea.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think you do; there is no other way he is still tight.

Okay, that’s not true; just turn him over.

scotchnaut

Has the head ref in the West Virginny tilt been tested for steroids? I’m just asking questions.

WCS

Intriguing theory…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

“That’s Karl Wallenda, before the fall, in black and white. Hee hee.”

-M. Jackson

WCS

If you like punts, Cousinfuckers-Rape U South is the game for you!

Gratliff

Chris Christie getting the ‘rona probably not gonna go great for him.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Now do Bill Barr, mythical sky person!

scotchnaut

Guy has trouble breathing when he brushes his teeth.

scotchnaut

“Pondering life in the technical area.”*

*never stop being you, English announcer

Gratliff

-Me when we have a major outage and the only other person in the office is the intern