Hey, did y’all notice? Darkest Timeline got darker. As a Karmic punishment, #NuAIDS for teh win! But chaos is not the ally of the progressive-minded American right now.
So…let’s not think about it. Lesser Footy and JV NFL slate, commence!
No, you are not waking up (intentionally) for Chelski hosting Palace. But it streams on Peacock at 7:30, before the real action begins. Yes, your ONLY 10a window fixture is beat-the-fuck-up-but-still-PERFECT Everton welcoming the Trashbirds (NBCSN). Brighton have been surprisingly watchable, in the early days. Should be a reasonably open affair, at minimum. We get two weeks off to heal up, and that will feel much better sitting on 12 points, rather than 9 or 10. BUHLEE DAT!
Spotlight dance is City away to New Media Darlings Leeds (12:30, NBC). As our collaboUrations, eh? panel told you…everyone hates these jammy fucks. And as such, we Lesser enthUsiasts will expect and welcome the “Angry Pep” beatdown that’s on its way. Too bad the line will be unbettable, for all practical purposes.
You aren’t streaming Team White Lives Matter away to Barcodes, period, end of. Our many Spurs supporters – along with bk’s wife (is she unofficially Tank Girl??) and Wakey – will look forward to Sunday Funday’s best entertainment (11:30, NBCSN). Bleeds into Glorious RedZone time, but everyone remember to wave hello. You weren’t raised in no goddamned barn!
TCU (+11.5) at Texas (Noon, Fox)
Steerfuckers South are the luckiest sumbitches on the JV planet. This is perhaps my bet of the week (Bloodeyes to cover in front of God and Gus Johnson).
Texas A&M (+18) at Alabama (3:30, CBS)
Perhaps Roll Damn Tide will have the same jaw-dropping dropoff we saw from LSU last weekend. But I suspect we will not. Afternoon nap time MEANS MOAR.
Texas Tech (+2.5) at Kansas State (3:30, FS1)
I know, I know. TOO MUCH TEXAS. But this really is fascinating. Guns Up!! couldn’t be any more deflated, losing like they did against Steerfuckers South last week. Unded Bill Snyders? Complete opposite, coming off a most improbable comeback win over Steerfuckers North. And they aren’t even getting the standard 3 (or 4, since is JV), which screams SUCKER BET.
Ole Miss (+6) at Kentucky (4:00, SECN)
This is a pretty big number for Kenfucky FITBAW against pretty much anyone. Even Lane Kiffin. I have a sneaking suspicion that this will be wildly entertaining.
Auburn (+7.5) at Georgia (7:30, ESPN)
These seem like two even squadrons to me, and that’s likely EXTREMELY generous to Jawja. They have no quartered back, and struggled with freaking ARKANSAS last week. War Damn Eagle has a terrifying front seven. Put those factors together? Have to love Aubie ML and maybe even the dreaded under bet.
Arkansas (+17) at Mississippi State (7:30, SECN-Alt)
Yeah, I think we all want to see Mike Leach’s encore. Hopefully, his QB’s arm ain’t fall off from all that LSU embarrassing duty. Pig Sooey were scrappy last week, but I am mostly seeing that as UGA weakness.
Oklahoma (-7) at Iowa State (7:30, ABC)
Both these teams ought to be right pissed off. Vegas thinks Steerfuckers North is the side who can do sommet about it. I always like Cornpone State more than I should (see pictured cheer squadron).
.
They continued, “It’s not because of covid exposure. We just don’t want the stink of that man making the workplace unusable.”
Christie smells like he spent 30 minutes inside a Subway restaurant. Stank I tells ya!
My second-ever jorb was at Subway. The only way to rid oneself of that smell is to burn your clothes, and walk through a car wash.
The most off-putting thing about Subway to me was always that it smelled nothing like a sub shop. It’s maddening.
Doug Jones ad during the Bama game! Made me laugh!
Announcing team on A&M/Tide game just bagged hard on Tuesday’s debate debacle.
STICK TO SPROTS!!!
JV DUUUUVVVAAALLLLL is up 14-0 on Florida State
DEFENSE!!
That defender was a first round pick of the New York Giants in 1925!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GD6qtc2_AQA&ab_channel=JacobM.
CUE COUNTRY ROADS
I would say “West By God Virginia mating call” – but I learned on an HBO documentary, that’s the sound of a full pill bottle shaking.
/seriously, though – GOOD BIG TWAAAAALVE HUSTLE!
Anyone else calling out their kitchen utensils right now? I had some sourdough dinner rolls and my serrated bread knife was supposed to get the job done but it fucked up. Not sure how 2020 could get any worse.
I’ll take the defective dinner rolls off your hands
This is a true test of the horseshoe up Steerfuckers South’s arse
Holy cats, NC State wins!!!
Works for me!
For 2020, Horns/Horned Frogs is kinda bananacakes.
Anyone used Masque of the Red Derp yet?
Love it!
found a funny:
stranger: im gonna walk slow
me: can i pass u
stranger: only if u wanna feel pressured to walk even faster so i dont awkwardly catch up to u
me: life is bad
stranger: [nods] so bad
I’ll never understand sarcasm.
Understand WHAT?
[rolls eyes] “That’s not sarcasm, that’s irony!”
-A. Morrisette
“I call this game my 13 year-old cousin because it’s really tight!”
-WVU QB
Joke’s on you! He’s from Florida!
Oh, wait…
He must be really ugly.
I have no idea.
I think you do; there is no other way he is still tight.
Okay, that’s not true; just turn him over.
Has the head ref in the West Virginny tilt been tested for steroids? I’m just asking questions.
Intriguing theory…
“That’s Karl Wallenda, before the fall, in black and white. Hee hee.”
-M. Jackson
If you like punts, Cousinfuckers-Rape U South is the game for you!
Chris Christie getting the ‘rona probably not gonna go great for him.
Now do Bill Barr, mythical sky person!
Guy has trouble breathing when he brushes his teeth.
“Pondering life in the technical area.”*
*never stop being you, English announcer
-Me when we have a major outage and the only other person in the office is the intern