Your “Completely Hobo-Free” Sunday Night Football Open Thread

Look, it was about time they got a break and besides, as a literary genre it is a bit self-limiting, don’t cha think? Also, it’s Thanksgiving and we are supposed to think about the less fortunate. Or was that Arbour Day? I get things mixed up here and there. Fear not, we’ll have some ‘psychopath on hobo action’ soon enough but for now we’ll have to content ourselves with the last game of the night on offer.

TO THE GAME!

Vikes/Seahawks:

-Give Brian Shottenheimer some credit for adjusting the Seahawks offensive identity. That ‘we will run you into the ground’ mentality was wearing a bit thin and became increasingly easy to game plan for. (it also made my ‘no-brainer’ Chris Carson pick-you know he’s going to get all kinds of touches if he’s healthy-look a bit sillier than I’d thought).

-Yeah, the team that ran the 9th-most run plays last year has now dropped all the way to 22nd.

-Vastly under-appreciated qb Wilson took the task to heart and has responded with a performance through the first quarter of the season that not many saw coming. Will he cook for Zeke? The question remains unanswered.

-Speaking of qb’s, what’s up with Kirkie? His PFF passing grade thru the first three quarters of each game is 66.5 but then he revs it up to 87.1 in the fourth. It’s attributed to the team having to play catchup but there’s something else going on as well.

-That thing is that he leads the league in average depth of target at 12.1, meaning he makes his longer strikes count but they come in the last 12 minutes of the game. Maybe do something earlier, guy who draws up the plays?

Do what you do best, just try to not get it on your monitor.

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Doktor Zymm

Mini-soda going into the half with quite the lead over Sea-cattle

Doktor Zymm

WTF? Just noticed that they have a dragonfruit cut in half in that bud lite commercial fridge. Not half a dragonfruit, a whole dragonfruit that has been cut in half with neither half touched or consumed. Dragonfruit ain’t cheap people! Do you peel your banana and then leave it in the fridge for a day or two before eating? NO BECAUSE WE AREN’T MONSTERS

King Hippo

and to imagine A DRAGON HAD 2 DIE FOR SUCH WASTE

Viva La Tabula Raza

Is there some Game of Thrones crossover here?

Unsurprised

I think there’s been a breakthrough because dragonfruit is being added to a bunch of consumer shit right now.

Recovery Whiskey

Maybe having fans in the stadium really does make a difference

WCS

3rd and 24? NFL BLITZ!

Doktor Zymm

Oh look, Polamalu is still making that sweet shampoo endorsement money

Gatoraids

mah wyyyyfe was mad that he was having to share it with Mahomes who shes feels isnt in the same hair class

King Hippo

I mean, she got a point.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Was his hair… perfect?
—Dead Warren Zevon

Recovery Whiskey

Hawks must have tested positive for shit playcalls

King Hippo

I could show her 12!!

/as long as she speaks metric

//and is not carrying mace

Recovery Whiskey

Lucky shot — Blair Walsh

King Hippo

Is a good Minny gameplan. But Holy Christ, does it make for awful teevee.

Gratliff

Joe Bob Briggs is so far the only television personality I’ve seen with the correct take on election interference in America: Yes, the Russians will meddle in ours, just like we do to literally every other country.

Unsurprised

Ignore Saudi, Israel, China, Turkey …

King Hippo

Death Cab bumper music. Feels right.

Mr. Ayo

The Hox defense is going to be tired after this 99 yard TD drive.

Recovery Whiskey

Pretty much. Adams out ended any hope of being tough to move the ball on.

Recovery Whiskey

He is a dick confirmed many times over

Last edited 4 years ago by Recovery Whiskey
Doktor Zymm

These sorts of really nasty fractures remind me of where horse racing ended up. Very glad we don’t euthanize football players on the field, although I think that the training staff on most NFL teams is significantly less competent than most large animal vets

Gatoraids

Explains the football team staffing from the Alpo Institute

Recovery Whiskey

They should bring the tent out onto the field like they do on horses being euthanized

Horatio Cornblower

Pictured, the Chargers’ training room:
comment image

Gatoraids

Didn’t think elway ever played for the chargers

Horatio Cornblower

I haven’t seen anything as nauseating as the Seahawks uniforms since…well, actually, about two hours ago, when Dak went down.

King Hippo

Don’t think I can deal with any non-Tirico “TAEKS” from the NBC folk tonight.

WCS

DAK! has a broken ankle, and is undergoing surgery.

THE OL’ DOUBLE J is doing ALL THE COKE, and killing A LOT OF HOOKERS tonight.

King Hippo

His Karma will come from signing Red Rocket to a long-term deal.

Unsurprised

Karma doesn’t exist, and is a fucking joke whenever billionaires are involved.

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, just looking at that injury you knew at least one surgery was gonna happen. Hope he pulls through; Dak seems like a genuinely decent guy and he got hosed just before being able to really cash in.

litre_cola

I have a soft spot for him due to his openness on mental health. I hope he goes somewhere else as JJ is a fucking scumbag.

Horatio Cornblower

I don’t think there was much of a chance he came back anyway. His team seemed pretty ripped at Dallas. Unfortunately, going back for whatever low-ball offer that shitbird Jones offers him may be his best option now. I really hope I’m wrong.

King Hippo

Yeah, that was brave. When I saw him in tears on the cart, all I could imagine was that Bayless motherfucker chortling through his nose.

Unsurprised

I hope he chokes to death

WCS

He kept a lot of people hanging with that answer.

Unsurprised

I hope he has a cameo in Balls’s and tWBS’s visit to the suicide forest

Gratliff

Sticking with this weekend’s theme
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4e-AHAoz3Rs

King Hippo

Keeping the Imaginary Streets hobo-free, that’s why we pay Scotchy the big bucks!

Gratliff

What to watch tonight. Went with From Beyond last night. I could watch the Devil’s Rejects sequel that absolutely didn’t need to be made.

Gatoraids

Yeah need some palate cleansing after the Dak injury try texas chainsaw massacre

Gratliff

Went with my go-to for horror background noise: Joe Bob Briggs and his porn star co-host who can’t be more than 15% organic material at this point

Gatoraids

Yeah I’ve gone through all their shudder marathons. Looking for to upcoming one. Shudders a good cheap sub to have

Gratliff

$5/mo and they’ve got a legit library now. Not like it used to be when it was like 9 different Phantasm movies and a couple of grainy Korean films.

Gatoraids

Love the korean movies. One cut of the dead one of my most favorite recent movies. Even before I saw it again on one of the marathons

Gratliff

There’s a sequel to Train to Busan out now, but it doesn’t appear to exist in any legit form in America yet. I’ll give it a month and then I’ll go find it in less legit forms.

Gatoraids

Just don’t pick Misery

Viva La Tabula Raza

Someone needs to tell Kubiak and that other guy in the booth that wearing the mask over your mouth and not over your nose is like putting a condom over your nutsack and not your weapon when you screw.

Last edited 4 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Recovery Whiskey

Chin diapers

Gumbygirl

Catch the drool, but nothing else.

King Hippo

I counted that at about a 25-30% clip on sideline/owner’s seating shots today. Dumb motherfuckers.

Unsurprised

Hopefully, they’ll get sick and die.

Gatoraids

Pete carroll loading his team with as many people with Q in their name as possible. No longer a conspiracy when it’s in the open

Doktor Zymm

They aren’t Anon though, what’s up with that?

Unsurprised

Fuck this. I’m walking down the block for some treats and to be outside for once this weekend.

Recovery Whiskey

Rain reference. Drink

Recovery Whiskey

Hawks going with the lime green highlighter shirts, which might make Minnesota go blind by halftime.

Recovery Whiskey

Trafoya’s one section down from our normal seats. Hope she’s enjoying the view.

Beerguyrob

Mine are section 306. Where are yours?

Recovery Whiskey

234

Recovery Whiskey

Ooo we get a wal-mart cam. Seems like a waste unless they point it at the parking lot.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I have as much desire to watch ass-eating in the parking lot as I do to watching Dak’s injury.

litre_cola

He turned into Balls so quickly none of us really noticed.

Doktor Zymm

Spicy pork tamales and a bottle of Pinot Noir

Gumbygirl

Did you throw the beets in the trash, where they belong?

Beerguyrob

How in the fuck do the Niners get negative defensive fantasy points?!

litre_cola

Because you touch yourself at night.

Gatoraids

It was hot outside and I had a bowl of jello

stop-playing-with-yourself-it-is-god.jpg
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A loving God would never tell you to stop playing with yourself.

Gatoraids

Losing to dolphins

Recovery Whiskey

By being owned by Jed York

Unsurprised

I kinda miss Sunday Gravy

Spoiler
comment image

litre_cola

Normally we get Canadian commercials with the football. Apparently on this feed we are in Bahstan and every fucking ad is about the election, and proposition this and that. How do you folk deal with this every damn commercial break???

Recovery Whiskey

Not live in a swing state. Minimal politics on TV.

Mother Puncher

By becoming nihilistic and not voting

Viva La Tabula Raza

Mute button.

Game Time Decision

So you miss the crappie tire commercials?

litre_cola

I think that dude is better than political misinformation. At first I thought Prop 2 was a good thing, now I am not sure. There also is a job creator in New Hampshire that is very forward.

Doktor Zymm

Go take a piss, grab something out of the fridge, tidy up the dirty glasses from the spot where I read and drink in the other room, etc, etc, etc

yeah right

See my previous comment about recording the games and fast forwarding through the commercials.

Shit, my team is playing right now and I won’t even start the game for another 45 minutes. I hope this explains my lack of viability during the live open threads.

Don’t need that shit either.

Recovery Whiskey

His 18 year old son’s suicide in 2005 was a great thing for him – freed him of those annoying parental obligations and let him focus on the SB in 2006.

King Hippo

And since suicides go to hell (obvs), no need for any pesky funeral!

Mother Puncher

This drug commercial with the acoustic version of Apache is really surreal to me for some reason. Some serious Late Stage Capitalism vibes.

litre_cola

Was so hungover this morning from drinking with the inlaws and BC Dick that I made myself vomit. I vowed to not have anything tonight…….then was offered some good red wine. I lie to myself regularly.

Game Time Decision

One of us
One of us
One of us

Mother Puncher

Love those weekends where I drink too much Friday alone and unexpectedly get invited out to binge drink on Saturday with friends

Beerguyrob

I have been drinking solid since the relatives showed up at 11:00. Beer, cider & scotch have been in the offing.

Viva La Tabula Raza

By sheer luck, I have always been forewarned, have been able to avert my eyes, and thus far have never witnessed Theisman’s LT injury.
I was making a drink when Dak was hurt, did not see it, and I hope to be able to avert my eyes from his injury for the rest of my life. I hate seeing stuff like that.

JimU

I saw the Theismann injury live. Luckily, it wasn’t in HD so it was a little hard to make out exactly what happened.

BugEyedBoo

I saw it on MNF, and it was pretty fuckin’ obvious. Had a 90-degree bend in his lower leg. IIRC, they showed it on replay again, once, and warned everyone first.

King Hippo

I saw it live, and shrieked. Was LT’s immediate, panicked reaction that really hammered it home.

yeah right

I was driving a cab the night Theisman got broke and listening to the game. Just hearing the announcers told me I didn’t need to see it. I’m with you and don’t understand the ghoul mentality.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I was in college and slinging pie at Domino’s during that game, listening to it on the radio, and remember that exact moment.

Game Time Decision

There was a lineman in some random SB that broke his leg. They must have shown the replay a zillion times that night. Yuck.

Not even going to try to find any info on it.

Don T

Tim Krumrie, CIN. I think I heard that on the radio. The John Candy SB?.

Don T

* Confirmed. Hail Google.

yeah right

Apart from the commercials this is another reason to record the game and watch in arrears. Don’t need that shit.

Recovery Whiskey

Wasn’t quite a full Theismann but it was pretty bad.

Doktor Zymm

Nawt gonna watch the pre-game. Gonna go to the kitchen and make my snacks compete for the privilege of being consumed.

JimU

Let’s never speak of the NFC East ever again.

Mr. Ayo

Had to be an open fracture if they’re doing surgery tonight.

Gatoraids

Hasn’t been this scandalous to show an ankle since the 18th century

Unsurprised

If it bleeds, it leads. Fuck everything.

Game Time Decision

Its the maple syrup, it makes us crazzzzzzzzzzzy

litre_cola

Well the bar I managed was where in the 60’s they invented the Caesar and clamato juice, so you definitely would not like that!

litre_cola

/was bartender in Calgary

/knows how to make a drink though

Viva La Tabula Raza

My old man claims that he just shows the vermouth bottle to the gin. In other words, he drinks straight gin over ice, with a habanero-infused olive. At 84, he’s probably drank enough gin to float an aircraft carrier.

litre_cola

It’s cold an we have nothing else to do but kill hoboes, smoke weed, contribute to DFO and look aghast at your president!

herodotus450

No bums

British Kardassian Fans: “(Screaming internally)”

Spur

Firestone Mind Haze IPA, not bad.

/pours one out for Dak

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