Is this the start of the inevitable (maybe) unraveling of The Shield’s best-laid plans? Hopefully for us watchers of games that’s not the case but I do stand by my prediction that there will be a break in play for a week or two if things get out of hand. I can’t get my head around how teams in Florida and Texas will be able to get through this unscathed, given their respective governor’s stance on The Covid. But hey, we’ve had four years practice of watching shit circumstances slowly unfold. Gird them loins, folks!
TO THE GAMES!
Texans/Titans:
Look for Henry to go buck wild in this spot-his only 200 yarder came against these guys last year and 4 out of 5 backfields have run for at least 140 vs Houston.
Bengals/Colts:
Your sneaky play here is Trey Burton-since wk. 4 he has a 19% target share and has led all Colts te’s with 35 routes run. The Cincy D has allowed the 3rd most targets to the position overall and the 2nd most red zone throws.
Falcons/Vikes:
In news that won’t shock you, opposing qb’s have an average rating of 125.1 vs Atlanta. The ground bound Vikes may want to toss a ball or three Thielen and Jefferson’s way. Or maybe new coach Morris has solved all of the Falcons’ woes this past week? [snorts]
Broncos/Pats:
Drew Lock was able to practice this week so Bye, Bye Bortles! As per usual the Pats are zipped lipped about Cam but I’m betting he plays. If Darnold can run for 84 yards against Denver, imagine where Newton’s wheels will take him.
Team/Giants:
Twere nice to see Alex Smith out there last week but the stat sheet wasn’t nearly as nice to him as the national media was. As a team, Team’s qb’s averaged 1.9 yards per pass play. If McLaurin isn’t doing anything Washington’s air O is doing nothing and those odds are good because cb Bradberry hasn’t allowed a single #1 wr more than 10 fantasy points this year.
Ravens/Eagles:
Wentz will get his ass blitzed for the 2nd week in a row but the good news is that he handled it well last week-he was 11-16 for 104, a TD and an intercept.
Browns/Steelers:
[point chasers insert Claypool into lineup] It’s worth a shot, right? Expect Pitt to shut down Cleveland’s healthy running game and force them to the air which isn’t a bad thing because the Steelers have given up big plays and OBJ and Landry are capable of just that.
Bears/Panthers:
Another sneaky fantasy play is Darnell Mooney-he’s #2 in target share now and since Foles took over the Bears have been passing at a 75% clip. (game scripts have influenced this) Mooney has aDOT of 15 and the Panthers give up the 7th most big plays.
Lions/Jags:
Detroit plays a vanilla man D that doesn’t do much to disguise coverages but they should take a run at Minshew. His clean pocket passer rating of 74.5 drops precipitously to 42.5 when he’s pressured.
Go man, go!
The bad teams this year just seem so incredibly bad as opposed to previous years
Eagles have a weak pulse!
misspelled “had” smh
Youngho Koo really knows how to fill out a helmet.
Whatever happened to Paris Hilton? Syphilis or something?
One didn’t expect her to age particularly well?
She grew up or they threatened to take her trust fund away?
I think she has a new reality show out now
Greasy Greek shipping heirs and Brian Erlacher. She was never going to escape venereal disease.
I think she slept at a Holiday Inn Express.
misspelled “with” smh
Santos hit a 55 yard no-doubter
I guess I’m on a lag
Carson Wentz, what the actual fuck
Cousins is 8-12 with 3 intercepts. Technically, only one of his passes has been unsuccessful.
Plus, it’s all part of God’s plan amirite??
How bad is the backup QB if he is not already in?
Foles seems to be signaling the play into Nagy.
Cousins making the Falcons D look absolutely ’85 Bearish.
I cannot WAIT for the second half of this game.
Chad Scott is in the house!
Bears give Bridgewater four extra downs. Still don’t give up the TD.
Guess they troubled him, eh?
I love goal line stands and thats all I know.
Update: German Suplex illegal in NFL.
But you have to pay extra for that
What about non-German versions, are they legal?
Watching the Browns lose bring me such a warm feeling, like a baby smiling or the first bite of a burger.
How do you hate the Browns? They’re so inoffensive…except for Khunt, of course
Wondering how hating the Factory is possible. Pity seems more appropriate most of the time.
I’ve hated Mayfield since college, where his dickhead attitude was on full display. And that has carried over to the Browns for enabling this asshole. And OBJ has been whining since NY.
This one goes in the “Weirdest Hot Take” file.
Fun fact: Nephewzilla played with Mapletron at a football camp back in highschool. Said he was an absolute beast. Quel surprise
RIDLEYDOWN!!!
Turns out Kyle Allen’s “knowledge of the system” doesn’t outweigh his suckitude and he’s just as bad as Haskins-Robbins.
Got to credit Atlanta with setting up for another big score to give back.
How hot is Zimmer’s seat if he loses to the Falcons?
Multiple Cousins to Theilen downs would be preferable.
Expecting multiples out of Dingleberry seems…a recipe FOAR disappoint?
Accurate.
Ryan Tannehill is the TEN QB I never thought possible.
/buys ammo
–Steve McNair’s girlfriend’s ghost
Nagy learned clock management from a master Andy Reid
Just got home, how are the Iggles looking??
Oh.
That Ford Bronco look sweet.
The amount of customization on them is insane as well.
Mayfield gotta Mayfield.
Colts Inspirational Speech: “We’re being outplayed by the Bengals! THE BENGALS!!!!”
We would have also accepted “I’ll remove the Crisco tub from the training table!”
Ka
Leef!
Y’all, I don’t think the Iggles are very good.
Bears DB flagged for “that was too good of a hit it must have been a penalty.” Fuller.
Good call on Burton scotch
Its a good find. Cheaper than many and still not “must shoot it to get it down” tier.
Pats continue to look like shit.
Hoisted by my own petard.
I feel weird wanting them to do well but a combo of wanting to see Cam do well and illustrating Brady was not that important to the team, hear I am pulling for them.
Boo Gmen. Shouldve gone for it
My thinking as well. They don’t have any idea how to step on a throat because they’ve never been in this spot before.
Was Rivers too busy breeding to show up for the game?
If you can pronounce the name of the leading receiver for the Donks, you’re a better man than I, Gunga Din.
Eat dick, Browns!
Falcons up 10 on the Vikings, so the Vikings have them right where they want them.
Daniel Jones sprinting down the field like a pioneer being chased by a band of angry redsk…
Oh. Oh dear.
Dimes fooled the cameraman and went on a 49!!! yard jaunt.
Tits secondary on 4th and goal
Cones are waaaaaay nimbler than stone. There, for alla youse “Why don’t you post s omething positive” folks.
Not true, the cones are highly visible and are competent in their job.
I like touchdown dances because it reminds me that all these guys are just giant fucking dorks
For the love of Bleergh we better draft a fucking QB next year.
Have you heard my opinion of my idiot fucking QB?
I have stood outside your window for hours at a time, so, yes.
That’s why he moved.
Cause of yeah right or Scotchy or both?
Ridley making Vikes defender go in three directions at once-all of them wrong.
I knew the Braves and Dodgers were playing because of friends but until just now, I had no idea the Rays would be in the World Series.
It’s unfortunate the Rays made it. An honest to goodness Houston Astros team just missed out of playing in the Series as their rally fell just short. TYGB
Send those fuckers back to the NL central
May Houston never win another title forever — salty baseball fans of the world.
F the trashtros
Valladolid has blown A 2-GOAL GODDAMNED LEAD TO HUESCA
Giants game ot on regular tube. DAZN help me. I need you!
Burrow with yet another good one. Colts were supposed to have half-decent cb’s.
If they’re only half decent, what’s the other half?
Ascent?
ass-ent? no football player is familiar with that.
It’s because I left him on my bench
#MeToo
The safety bit hard on the short route. Higgins was a foot taller than the cb covering him.
Lions getting swifty
Just wanted to say, CokeZero makes a pretty good Cuba Libre. S/O to fellow fat guys hoping to be on remission
CokeZero Cherry makes an interesting mixer, as well.
Smith the 3rd down BLACK
I hate waking up with back pain. Getting old sucks.
I agree, though not crazy about the alternative, neither.
Conversely, the older one gets the less sucking there is.
I think I have something for that on the raft…
The lack of sucking? I don’t think Gumby or lady bfc would appreciate that.
AJ BrownDown! Woo—
/checks fantasy team
My bench is kicking ass. Wu
I may be 1-4, but my bench is surely 5-0
It would seem that 500s renaissance…were short-lived.
Their refractory period is measured in months.
oh, and Scotchy gon’ drank. U think Scotchy ain’t gon’ drank??
SlaytonDown WOOT!!!
This is a new strategy for the Bengals, of not getting your quarterback killed.