Your “Eve Of The Apocalypse” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL Nuggets:

  • Well, there’s finally proof that COVID can cross over to the animal kingdom, as Broncos GM & noted equine hybrid John Elway has tested positive for the disease.
    • Contact tracing appears to show the exposure came…from outside the building!
    • Since the team facility is closed for election day, there is minimal risk on on-site exposure.
    • The opening statement from KUSA in Denver on the topic is typical NBC hyperbole:

Coronavirus is so vexing, so heinous, so nondiscriminatory, it got two of the highest-ranking executives of the Denver Broncos.

    • Fortunately, Elway has gone into isolation protocol & is taking all necessary precautions, including mandatory face covering.

Trade deadline updates:

  • The Dolphins made the only moves today:
    • They traded wide receiver Isaiah Ford to the Patriots for undisclosed compensation.
    • They acquired running back DeAndre Washington from the Chiefs for an undisclosed draft pick.

Well, it’s Election Night, so that can only mean one thing,

I thought a clip from “The Purge: Election Night” might be too on the nose.

Living next door to Washington State, I get pretty full-up on their election news. Based on the coverage, Seattle is boarding itself up in advance of celebration/losing riots, and Vancouver, WA will put itself out long enough for the votes to be counted. In addition to their Governor’s race, they have six initiatives on the ballot:

  • Referendum 90 – the only fascinating one
    • To allow State Senate Bill 5395 to take effect, thereby requiring public schools to provide comprehensive sexual health education for all students and requiring students to be excused if requested by their parents.
      • It changes an existing law that allowed districts to choose whether or not to offer sexual health to requiring comprehensive sexual health that is consistent with state health standards and that requires affirmative consent curriculum.
        • In trying to oppose it, Republicans from the conservative parts of the state introduced over 100 amendments to try & stall it in committee, preventing it from reaching the Governor.
          • Parents for Safe Schools, the sponsors of Referendum 90, submitted 266,000 signatures to the Washington Secretary of State’s office to get the referendum put on the 2020 ballot. To qualify the referendum for the November ballot, 129,811 of the signatures had to be valid.
          • The more lucid public complaints sound like this:
            • It is highly sexualized going beyond anatomy, reproduction and pregnancy and HIV/STD prevention. CSE is built on the principals of Alfred Kinsey who believed that kids are sexual from birth, they have a right to seek out sexual pleasure and explore their sexuality, children have a right to advocate for their sexual rights and freedoms and parents are a barrier to obtaining those rights.
          • The bill passed 28-21 in the Senate and 56-40 in the House.
      • Apparently, there has never been a statewide curriculum in this area.
        • It was available district by district, and not in all schools in that district.
  • Four non-binding Advisory Votes on tax measures proposed by the state
    • The most controversial is #32, a vote to maintain or repeal State Senate Bill 5323, which was designed to levy a tax on certain carryout bags provided by retailers.
  • One Joint Resolution (a “Joint Resolution”, not a joint resolution, because ‘Washington mannnn…’)
    • To support or oppose allowing the Washington Legislature to invest the Long-Term Care Services and Supports Trust Account into stocks or other methods of investment.

That’s what’s up next door. What’s special on your home state’s ballot? Let’s have at it in the comments


Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB: Gold Glove Awards – 8:00PM | ESPN
  • 2020 CONCACAF League – Round of 16:
    • Tauro FC vs. Forge FC – 8:00PM | TSN3

C’mon – it’s the big politics nerd TV night. Even if the NHL & NBA were active, the NHL would be only Canadian games, and the NBA would be off. Tonight, we talk politics, and please be civil to those you think are wrong.

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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King Hippo

You can breathe again when they call PA for Diamond Joe, which I think happens by midnight.

King Hippo

I am betting Biden by less than 1% in GA.

SonOfSpam

2.5%

YEE HAW I AM FUCKIN CRAZY

litre_cola

So it has been an hour and change, did yous do a good?

Sharkbait

Leave the light on for us, just in case

Redshirt

Okay, it has to be early. There is no way Bulter Co. goes blue. This is an unedited picture of their sheriff for crying out loud…that you are more than welcome to edit for comedic purposes.
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Spur

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m on it. Told my boss I might be a little late checking in tomorrow. She’s a nice liberal Jewish lady from NY, so she’s on board.

King Hippo

Texas will be a 2-3% Dem loss.

Sharkbait

Expected?

King Hippo

yes. All this is consistent with Biden +5-7% nationally

King Hippo

just not Biden +8-10%, which was on the “hope chest”

SonOfSpam

Nope, less than 1.

MAYBE EVEN A WIN

And yeah, I’m half a beer in.

herodotus450

All I know is right now there are 191,655 confirmed morans in the country, aka 3rd party voters.

Redshirt

Goddamn it! The evil turtle won!

Sharkbait

Fuck him

scotchnaut

Was it ever in doubt?

King Hippo

That was a foregone conclusion. Dems would be looking at 60 seats if McGrath won.

scotchnaut

Redshirt, did you honestly think he was gonna lose? Really?

Senor Weaselo

I’m friends with the principal cellist of the Louisville. And I’ll feel bad for him while telling him his adopted state sucks.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Hopefully he will be the minority leader. Fuck that guy.

herodotus450

DC gets electoral votes!? Someone wake up the corpse of Aaron Burr, cause we got some southerner butts to whoop.

Viva La Tabula Raza

three. Already called for Uncle Joe.

Spur

As someone else said today.

Dems don’t need Florida so Florida will be Dems this time.

Spur

So Lady Spur left last week. It’s been civil, i don’t hate her. It just doesn’t work out for her, ok. She came by Monday while I was at work to pack up her shit.

She took the shower curtain. WTF

I am calling her.

Spur

correction, am not calling her, that’s what she wants.

King Hippo

just order a new one off Amazon, bathe in own tears until it arrives! Hippo is HEAR 2 HELP

herodotus450

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scotchnaut

This is the correct move. She wants another convo for some reason. Do it on your terms.

Last edited 3 years ago by scotchnaut
Redshirt

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Last edited 3 years ago by Redshirt
Viva La Tabula Raza

Sorry it didn’t work out amigo. Did she leave the ice cube trays?
Edit: Dammit, Redshirt beat me to it.

Last edited 3 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

BTW they stole that ice cube line from Martin Cruz Smith’s Gorky Park novel. HIghly recommended, I’ve probably read that book a dozen times, great story.

Last edited 3 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
SonOfSpam

Only thing I know about Gorky Park is the Scorpions song and I don’t wanna know any more.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Book better than song and preceded it by nearly a decade.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I wish there was a football game tonight.

Dunstan

If they call South Carolina for Trump, that’s a 28-3 lead, and we know those are insurmountable.

Spur

I did my duty in Nevada, my parents voted in Texas. My mom drags everyone to the polls. Its basically ” you’ll vote today and how i tell you or no coming to my house for dinners”.

Spur

All my family in Texas are Medina County. Lots of self hating Hispanics.

SonOfSpam

Are they funky and cold?

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m in Comal County, and I hope that all the homes that don’t have Trump shit displayed voted Biden.

Sharkbait

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Spur

Evening Folks

SonOfSpam

Well? Did you turn Texas blue? DID YOU???

Gratliff

He’s a Dallas fan, not player

SonOfSpam

When you sign up for this site, you agree to represent millions of people.

Or did you just check “Agree” without reading the fine print?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Do you know anyone that reads all that shit?

Spur

Texas will not blue itself this year but come very close.

scotchnaut

“So… just the balls?”

-anonymous DFO commenter

ballsofsteelandfury

You rang?

scotchnaut

I massaged. As per your instructions.

herodotus450

ppl forget that trump passed on the opportunity to literally bribe the entire country with a $1200 kick in the balls and he didn’t do it. Or someone didn’t do it. Congress or something.

Gratliff

If he loses, there’s a 10000% chance he blames Mitch for not cutting the checks

SonOfSpam

WHEN he loses, there will be SO MUCH BLAMING! VERY STRONG BLAMING LIKE YOU’VE NEVER SEEN and I will enjoy it.

scotchnaut

“For all those disappointed to see Trump’s early lead, I’d like to remind you that the night is very young, like really young. So incredibly young. It’s a very malleable night for sure.”

-Ghislaine Maxwell, political commentator

SonOfSpam

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Gratliff

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Senor Weaselo

So… Florida?

Redshirt

Florida to Democrats
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Duchess

Nah just could be a 1st round knock out for Trump

scotchnaut

Florida doesn’t have that amount of self-awareness.

King Hippo

Trump getting equal numbers in places nobody lives. If not for the Cuban problem, all would be fine.

SonOfSpam

Sandwich? Good.
Cigar? Good.
Voter? Bad

Duchess

Watched 587 votes or whatever never knew growing up how much the Elian Gonzalez shit mattered in South Florida

Gratliff

In hindsight, 50 years of catering to Cubans exclusively of the right wing persuasion may have had long term political consequences

King Hippo

Tallahassee could damned near cancel panhandle.

SonOfSpam

Counting on FSU students to do the right thing seems like a bold strategy.

Senor Weaselo

They’re known to turn it over.

Downfield Matriculator

More likely to go wide right

King Hippo

Did I want to see an ad of old and/or fat people in bra and panties.

No, Other Hippo, I sure did NOT1

scotchnaut

BBC coverage of the election is telling me that Diego Maradona is having emergency brain surgery. #novembersurprise

herodotus450

“Vermont’er? I hardly know ‘er” called for Biden.

Unsurprised

I’ve spent two days pondering how I’m skinner in the “no, it’s the children who are wrong” scene and I’m sick of it. So fuck it. If people want to stay living in shit and treated like animals, then so be it. I’m not going to kill myself worrying about them or trying to battle the force of apathy and self loathing that could put gravity and all the other forces to shame.

Gratliff

FWIW, I agree with most of what you’ve said so far. However, the night does not offer the opportunity for the things I want on the federal level, so I’m mostly left with blessed schadenfreude to hope for, and I do hope for it.

Gratliff

Looking for something good to watch and noticing HBO Max just added Reno 911

ballsofsteelandfury

HBO Max is great! They have all seasons of Rick n Morty and both seasons of Harley Quinn.

Gratliff

Oh shit. The Brak Show’s on there now

King Hippo

We need North Cakalaky. My call was Biden +4, Cunningham +2.

SonOfSpam

Yep, NC is vital, even more for Senate. Agree with those margins. Eh, let’s make it 4 and 3 because optimism.

Redshirt

There’s no way Ohio doesn’t go Trump.

Sharkbait

I’m relying on Hippo for my election updates. GIVE ME GOOD NEWS!

King Hippo

Florida is must-win for Trump. It does not foreshadow DOOM if Joe loses it. But a Biden win in FL ends any drama.

Senor Weaselo
King Hippo

And yes, I would have narrowly projected FL to Trump this morning. I just wanted LANDSLIDE EVERYWHERE.

Gratliff

I’m trying to avoid turning on any live TV tonight UNLESS this shit goes full landslide so I can throw on FOX News and let their pain revitalize me

King Hippo

You are a wise Bill Burr cartoon, sir.

Gratliff

And will always be since internet dad hasn’t figured out why my avatar is stuck this way

King Hippo

GO BIRDS!!

SonOfSpam

West Virginia is “too early to call” – FEELIN GOOD ABOUT JOE’S CHANCES THERE!

(I do not actually)

King Hippo

This is the reason I ate plain Jasmine rice for dinner.

Redshirt

It makes sense that old people in Florida would vote for Trump. They want to die so COVID-19 will speed up the process.

King Hippo

FL is gonna be within 1%, either way.

Duchess

Which means the crooks will give it to the Reds

Gratliff

Take away their statehood and give it to Puerto Rico

SonOfSpam

Except Churchill Downs.

And any distilleries.

Senor Weaselo

Come on Urshela 2020! What, I’m talking Gold Gloves.

scotchnaut

I’m watching the BBC coverage of the election. It’s being hosted by Winston Churchill’s doppelganger. Google Andrew Neil.

Duchess

Florida voting Trump is the most Florida thing it can do. It’s not a surprise it’s in character.

King Hippo

I agree with the emerging theory that GA and NC are more Dem this year than FL. Maybe even TX.

But it will definitely coloUr the coverage if it trends bad.

King Hippo

If the Miami/Dade is election day vote, might not be a huge deal. Caveat emptor.

Redshirt

They called Kentucky to the dark side.

scotchnaut

No need to call-they were already there.

SonOfSpam

FUCK YEAH VERMONT!

Ok, we’re only down 11-3. THANKS BEN AND/OR JERRY.

SonOfSpam

Ew, Miami-Dade don’t look good. Damn Batista supporters.

King Hippo

There’s the first bad thing. Broward could still cancel that out, and then some.

Horatio Cornblower

Gonna take today off the internet and play video games, watch Netflix, maybe try to sleep through until tomorrow before waking up and finding what kind of frozen hellscape we’re in the for the next 2-4 years. In the mean time, I just want to say
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Gratliff

Just a few short weeks of waiting for the supreme court to rule on a Florida recount and this will all be over

Redshirt

I’m surprised Trump hasn’t declared himself winner yet, since he’s ahead in the Electoral Vote.

scotchnaut

A premature ejaculation by Trump? I can see it but that doesn’t mean I want to see it.

Redshirt

“I’ve seen it.” – Melania Trump
“I’ve seen it.” – Ivanka Trump
“I’ve seen it.” – Don Trump Jr.

SonOfSpam

“I’ve cleaned it.” – Mike Pence
“I’ve cleaned it.” – Hope Hicks

King Hippo

Looks like Broward is killing it. Massive turnout there, too.

King Hippo

Georgia looking good. Please also get GA-Sen (A) over 50%.

SonOfSpam

DAMMIT Trump got Indiana. We’re down 11-0.

Can’t believe the fat humps are ignorant assholes.

SonOfSpam

Hanging crumbs

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