The sun is out here so it must be out everywhere. That’s the kind of rock-solid logic you can take to the bank, mister.
TO THE GAMES!
Panthers/Chiefs:
I mean, this one was over as soon as the sked was revealed, right? Carolina defends the long ball well so look for Mahomes to take what he is given underneath. (bodes well for the rb’s) Now here is where it gets funny-if the Panthers successfully defend the long ball and limit plays underneath that means that the defense with the most amount of missed tackles will then have to shine. Nope. McCaffrey and his beaver brown band is back.
Broncos/Falcons:
Denver has a great coverage unit but old Julio is kinda bulletproof. With Ridley out Gage (he has the third most yards among wr3’s) and Christian Blake will see some as well. Atlanta can’t defend the te so Fant is in play-if he gets at least 5 targets the odds are that he’ll also get a TD.
Seahawks/Bills:
It seemed like MVP talk involving Josh Allen happened a long time ago. The first 4 weeks of the year he was QB2, the last 4 weeks he’s been QB13. There is good news for him today though-the Hawks have allowed more rushing TD’s to his spot than any other team. Neither of these teams can stop the talent out there so, PLAY ‘EM ALL!
Bears/Titans:
Both teams are coming off 2 straight losses but I have faith in the Titans (Survivor!) Besides, at the time I called the 5-1 Bears the weakest in the league and they’re just obeying me. Chicago has allowed the most 15+ rushing gains so far this year and well, well, look who has the third most in the league? I think Henry has himself a game if he can get to the second level a few times. The Bears also give up tons of yards to te’s so Jonnu might be in play.
Ravens/Colts:
Those of you (like me) that have been sitting on Dobbins all year can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. A hundy vs the Steelers and a 33% missed tackle number surely means that he gets the lion’s share of carries going forward, right? Woo boy, according to PFF, since last year Rivers has thrown (in a noodly fashion) 42 turnover-worthy passes-that ties him with the one and only Dimes.
Lions/Vikes:
Good news for Minny-without Golladay on the field his QB rating takes a swan dive. He’ll still do some tossing so Marvin Jones is playable but your sneaky start might be Marvin Hall who went for 114 last week. As for Cook, he owns the Lions so he going for 125 and 2 for sure.
Giants/Team:
Many pundits are telling the air that Team’s d-line will crush today but if any unit of the Giants is showing improvement it’s the o-line. They were supposed to have their collective heads clobbered vs Tampa and it didn’t happen. Thing is, they’re doing it with 3 rooks. Weird! Don’t be afraid to start McLaurin-in the first meeting, of the 12 targets he had he was defended by Bradberry only twice.
Texans/Jags:
Let’s all welcome Jake Luton aboard. As far as debuts are concerned you couldn’t ask for an easier one here. His draft assessment tells us that he has a much stronger arm than Minshew but that he’s also a guy that doesn’t take a lot of risks. So maybe fade Chark (he’s being covered by Robey also) and take a swing at Laviska Shenault. A super sneaky play might be Jordan Akins because the Jags have surrendered 7 TD’s to te’s.
Russell Wilson really is patently unfair sometimes.
Bills have two scores but they belong to MacKenzie and Kroft. Jeezuz.
Hair of the dog and all that, it’s wine time!
I just received a text survey from MDC asking if I believed there had been voter fraud. I’m guessing it’s not Millions of Dead Cops, so who or what is MDC?
Maryland Democrats for Christ?
Milking dead cows
Milking Dumb Conservatives?
Maritime defence Council
Massive Denial Complex
Seattle isn’t going to make any adjustments, they’re the last in the NFL.
who or what is a “Jake Luton”?
An old fashioned farm horse name is actually not a bad fit for a RB
Ah wish ah could quit yeeeewwww. – Josh Allen to his maddening, week-to-week inconsistency
Lord Hugh Mungus Retweeted
Village Person
@SvnSxty
·
49m
*pearly gates*
St. Peter: *humming the final jeopardy song as he looks through a file*
Alex Trebek: hilarious
4
104
665
Roy Williams spent the last 5 years of his career getting penalized for the rule they made for him and yet somehow people still do it
come on Washington football
throw it to MCLAURIN!!!!
Oof, that looked like a horse collar to me
Bills have decided to use Singletary. Awesome.
Playing both Moss and Singletary in one league cause bye weeks.
Fat kicker probably felt body shamed by today’s Fuck Lions uniform shirt.
It would be pretty neat if someone managed a clean jump over the crowd at goal line
Good on Matt Rhule. You need to understand what kind of game you are in. Chip shot FGs against the Chefs = no fucking chance.
WHOOO WE’RE NUMBER 32! NUMBER 32! WHOOOO!
Good morning/afternoon. Holy shit, it’s a tit not nippley outside.
I’m still watching the Scousers play Man Shitty.
THIS PEP GUARDIOLA, I CALL HIM A FILIPINA HOUSE SERVANT BECAUSE HE LOOKS BORED AND WANTS TO LEAVE BUT HIS QATARI MASTERS WON’T RETURN HIM HIS PASSPORT
My wife is now convinced that Betty White is going to die, because “these things come in threes”, and Sean Connery and now Trebek have recently passed.
Anyway, rather than sit here and listen to more of this, I’m going out to get beer.
Betty White’s 98. That’s not exactly a bold prediction. Just hearing the word COVID might do it
Philly could actually be .500 after next week, especially since they’re playing the Giants again. It will set me up nicely for the 5 consecutive losses that will follow it (@Browns, Seahawks, @Packers, Saints, @Cardinals)
Which should keep you 1.5 games up over 2nd place
Well, they finish the season with Dallas and Washington, so I’m already making plans for the Super Bowl
I feel like the odds are against any NFC East team hitting .500 this season
I’m hoping the winner of the NFC East is 7-9 and beats the Saints in the first round!
7-9 seems wildly optimistic.
Only if Marshawn Lynch agrees to play for whichever team for just that game
So, I actually have the option to go watch the late games or SNF in a bar. County is at 25% indoor dining, and that includes the bar portion of the Seafood place right by where I’m staying in Pacifica.
Gints-nee Slurs because Philly-Dallas was too competent
PEAK NFC EAST
Texans/Jags not wasting any time at all.
Too Many Cooks?
NAE, needs even MOAR!!
All of Detroit’s unis are gorgeous or abominations. There is no in-between.
It’s currently 75 degrees in mid-Michigan and 60 degrees in San Diego in mid-November. We have fucked this planet up so bad.
Morning Folks
Wow, Dallas didn’t forfeit today’s game. That may end up being a bad idea.
I’m guessing Trump will give a gracious concession speech before and NFL team forfeits
https://twitter.com/i/status/1325495959288229890
RIP Alex Trebek.
I’ll be having a Potent Potable in his honoUr.
I’ll pour out a Labatt’s.
Because I’m certainly not going to drink one.
Hey now, it’s the best slug-killing beer out there!
mourn ya tills I joins ya, eh?
Dog tried to bite me on the hike.
Me: [sees dog in aggressive stance]
Me: [stands still]
Owner : “He won’t bite.”
[pushed by owner, dog goes past me, I start walking]
[dog whips around and tries to bite my hand but misses]
Owner: “He was just playing. He bites when he’s playing, it’s not a good way of playing.”
Me: “No shit!”
That will teach you to exercise.
Never Again! A random dog has taught me the error of my ways.
Too nice of a day not to be outside
You should definitely be lifting weights in the driveway with your buddies.*
*Slayer music at ear-splitting volume is optional
Yep. Going with the heavy 473ml curls today
Weird definition of “won’t bite”
Was the dog on a leash? Because if he was, the owner’s an idiot for not controlling him, and if he wasn’t, the owner’s an idiot for not having a bitey dog on a leash. What I’m saying is, that guy’s an idiot.
It’s a large nature trail where everyone lets their dogs run loose.
TRUE HIPPO STORY – was a bit out of it (wonder why), sitting in passenger seat with door open. Claire told me there was a dog beside me, I turned my head and an unleashed pit bull was within like 4 feet. I exclaimed, but managed not to shit my pants.
/turns out, this was a very friendly Pit (and quite smart-looking) whose owner said she was always super excited to get near my townhouse, because of my cats. Said Callie (the dog) really got on great with “the grey one” (grandson Noodles), though “the orange one” (son Kruger) still kept his distance a bit – but was curious and slowly becoming friends.
//really was heartened by this brief neighboUrly interaction
I really don’t know how Pitties got such a bad rep. The sweetest, best behaved dogs I’ve met have mostly been Pits
The only one I had previously met was owned by my Pakistani high school friend. It was cautiously pleasant when Nadeem was around, but he warned us in no event make direct eye contact – especially if he wasn’t in the immediate vicinity.
Just had a nice walk by the beach in high winds. Free exfoliation!
Found out that Robey is out this game for disciplinary reasons. Chark Away! if you want to chance it.
Supposedly the rule is that you can only appear on Jeopardy! once per host; that means my girl Pam is coming back!
There’s the loophole I’ve been waiting for since ’98!
RIP, Alex Trebek. I’m glad you got to stick around and see the happy ending of America’s Final Jeopardy.
BANNER
Alex Trebek passed away. Fucking hell.
He was just waiting for Connery to go first.
“Your mother always let me go first too, Trebek”
-Sean Connery
2020: I’ll let you idiots have one good day, but then I take Trebek.
I told my wife that at least Trebek lived long enough to see Trump lose.
The Lions starting Stafford on zero practice this week is bullshit
/Drops Chase Daniel
If it makes you feel any better I just had to bench Chris Carson and grab Seattle 3rd string RB while also dropping some other RB to pick up Tony Pollard and am hovering over the bench Zeke Elliott button while the Cowboys decide if his hammy still works, and none of it matters because Steelers-Cowboys is gonna be a snuff film and those are still my best options.
Whoa, blacked out and slept for 12 hours. Guess I needed it.
found a funny:
Interviewer: Why did you leave your last job?
Me: Because of something my boss said
Interviewer: It says here you were fired
Me: That’s the thing he said
One I read that I like
Female Interviewer: “I have three openings.”
Me: “I know.”
Is Saints WR Michael Thomas gonna play tonight?
— Eli Manning, trying to arrange a Fortnite session
Rotowire says he is trending toward playing.
This is likely the last day of 15+ degree weather so I’ve no choice but to go for a hike.
Team is on bye week. Football team isn’t playing. Reality is starting to resurface. The walls are closing in. WHO PUT THIS SKIN ON MY ARM?!?!?!
Crap. I’m going to take a flyer on Marvin Hall. Subbing him in and taking Mooney out.
It’s fun explaining to the mortgage guy making a cold call the reasons why our income won’t support a refinance and saving both of us the time. I wish people would do their research before bugging me.
By the way, if YOU can handle a refinance, you should really look into it. Mortgage rates are insanely low.
Waking up Sunday morning with a hangover, making futile changes to my fantasy lineup…it sort of feels like life is getting back to normal already.
Who is Big Fun in the Freezer Vodka league?
I wish I was. Man, that’s a great name for a fantasy team.
Zymm
Yup, that’s me
I need a cheat sheet of who is who. Can figure out a few but not many
Too soon?
And Baker Mayfield has the covid. Adjust your fantasy lineups accordingly.
Browns have a bye this week.
COVID-19 doesn’t take bye weeks.
While I’ll obviously watch my boys vs Detroit, that Baltimore vs Humps game has sneaky potential. I took Indy in the pickem pool at work.