Well, you’ve probably heard by now that Tuesday Night Football has morphed into (first ever?) Wednesday Night Football. All it took was a bunch of plucky Ravens team members/staff testing positive for eight days in a row. What kind of hellfire will The Commish unleash on this team after the whole thing blows over? He seems like a petty sorta guy that doesn’t like or want change of any kind. Maybe a fine that would cover any number of costs incurred by moving the game? A draft pick or two? If it is the latter he should bring Thor’s hammer down soon to serve as a lesson (in his mind) to the rest of the teams that perhaps have some dumbass jarhead in their weight room spouting batshit conspiracy nonsense. (some of these folks aren’t well edjumicated) Why yes, I do like to paint with a broad brush.
Fallout:
-How does this affect fantasy leagues? Will the points still count towards your week 12 totals?
-I find it funny that as I type this NFL.com doesn’t have the news up yet. Somebody’s asleep at the monitor!
-Much is being made of poor quarterback play yesterday (the Hill/Hinton combo especially) but there was a shit ton of lousy coaching as well. For my own cheering purposes, the Giants play on extra special teams almost blew the game if not for a desperate tackle on a punt with less than 5 minutes left. As Hippo has noted, dumbasses taking no risks whatsoever in order to get the W seems to be achingly commonplace now.
-The Niners have finished Raising Arizona as a possible place to play. It’s now a go.
-Thanks to some very grateful Lions fans, The Deshaun Watson Foundation has had its coffers added to. A heartwarming gesture, to be sure.
TO THE GAME!
Seahawks/Eagles:
-Both the Cards and Rams pulled out their stumblebum routines yesterday, giving Wilson and Co. an opportunity to tighten things up in the NFC West this evening.
-Maybe we see some Jalen Hurts tonight? The clamor to have him in there keeps rising and rising. “Why is that?”, you ask.
-There’s this boob that goes by the name of Carson Wentz and it sure does look like his time is drawing near. He leads the league in intercepts, (14) fumbles on sacks (7) and dropped intercepts (10). You know what that is, right? That’s when a defender is so astonished at a pass headed his way he muffs it. Either that or a guy playing in the secondary is there for a reason-he’s got the Stone Paws. [pours acid on open wound] Oh, almost forgot, his uncatchable pass rate is 25%.(!) One of every four, folks.
-He might still be passable [snorts] in this game because Oof!, every team that has played Seattle has gone for 300 passing yards, 2 TD’s or both.
-Injury-wise, Ertz has the hook and Chris Carson and his hard-running style is back in after four weeks.
-The Eagles have gotten stingy with wr’s recently and haven’t allowed a TD to that position since week 7. I’ll bet both Lockett and Metcalf break that streak tonight.
What say you about all these shenanigans? Type away my friends.
And DK falls on it and doesn’t fumble, game
It was game before that, if we were being honest
It’s still anyone’s ball game, and i might win the lotto this week
Wasn’t the closing spread 6.5? SHENANIGANS!!!
yep
What was the spread
Exactly as planned!
oh no, Wentz just saved his job.
Flail mary.
And go for 2. Wtf
FUCK YOUR UNDER BET
Lolololol
GREAT PASS BY WENTZ
WOOHOO GARBAGEDOWN
Hahahah
Evening Folks. Sounds like I tuned in for the shitting on the Eagles and Wentz.
Tya this game will make you wince
Wentz plans to challenge the score of the games the Eagles lost in court.
If you just throw out all the points the BLACK QB scored…
Can i steal that for my tweet?
chuh chuh
And now 300 words about the NFC East. Forget Seattle just held serve for first
Success is not nearly as hilarious as bumbling failure tho
If Louis Riddick is coming across as over the top about the Eagles its because he is from the Philly Suburbs and was an Executive in charge of personal during the Reid years.
My favoUrite Griese derp, is how he notes the “miscommunication” but it’s always the fault of the blockers/RB/receiver/even Goeddert instead of the one, obvious common denominator
Who is that dude thats a mega Iggles fan and makes hilarious pissed off videos from his bedroom? I have to see if he’s still active.
It’s gotta be a kick in the nutsack to Jalen Hurts that the coaches think sticking with this is a better option than you.
Probably better than the actual kicks in the nutsack he would get behind that O-line
Griese is a Wentz apologist. Whadddadouche!
oh yeah, he’s been sucking him off so hard (all night), you’d think he’s Brady or at least Vikings-era Favre…
Does Griese know this Wentz can’t get him Fallout Boy tix?
He plays like a Bengal.
Naw, Greece is just proof that the NFL concussion protocol works
Good play. Go for half on 4th and 31, then 5th down is more manageable.
If he hauls that in he has green grass and 1 man to beat for the first.
Its 3rd and 30. Why are you throwing the ball to a receiver behind the line of scrimmage?
To avoid an interception?
the combined #StableGenius that is Pedersen/Wentz
picked up -1 on 3rd and 30.
NFL BLITZ!!! time, is WCS still up?
2nd and 30. Muhahahahaha
“Next week on Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday Night Football-Bills! Niners! Live from Glendale, Arizona!”
It’s SOMEDAY Night Football!
NBC barely has to change the theme
Excellent.
I’ve been waiting all someday for someday night!
Waiting all day for the night
Seriously, I’ve seen colonoscopies with a better touch
Um…how many colonoscopies have you seen?
Oh, look at Mr. Judgey McJudgerson over here.
Well he’s all acting like King of Sphinctercam and I want him to know he ain’t all that.
Or am I? Do you want to challenge my throne?
I’ve installed a toiletcam in your master bathroom. Don’t test me.
You’ve got the brown eye of the tiger
And you’ve got some fissures that could use medical attention. I’ll send some stills with highlights and arrows.
The Brown Ring Doorcam
No one on the Eagles coaching staff told Wentz that the Seahawks had an historically bad secondary. You really can’t blame him.
I found a copy of Wentz’s playbook:
SUN SPERM FOREHEAD HUT HUT
The two minute drill:
And his receiver progression:
Holy Shit, Tavaris Jackson is still in the league? Did the Broncos know that?
Oh wait, he’s dead. Some other guy is wearing #7 for Seattle and google didn’t know that.
Geno Smith
TEBOW!!!!111!!!one!!
Completely apropos of nothing: anyone remember Sam Bradford? I’m not convinced he was even real in the first place.
As real as the state of Oklahoma.
So real but worthless.
He lit up UW and I was there in person. Last time he was any good though
Pfft, he played in some city that doesn’t even have an NFL team
We figured out these refs call PI easily
Who is calling the plays for Seattle? A lot of complicated counters, traps, bootlegs, and straight dropbacks up 20-9 against a garbage fire team?
Schottenheimer’s kid, also named Schottenheimer.
Ciara. MAKE RUSS WORK FOR IT.
Eagles coaching staff should be thinking about making everything Hurts so good.
That was a terrible throw
–Kendall Hinton
He threw it too far Outside
-S.E. Hinton
I retract my earlier comments. This is hilarious!
My bad, coach.
Good lord, Wentz.
Dakotaception!
Sudden Dramatic Reversal!
I see I’ve missed a riveting game thus far.
The fact that this team is a division contender is a lovely confirmation of how terrible the NFC Least is
Someone should tell Wentz that an overthrown ball and an underthrown ball don’t actually average out to anything approximating a catch
What makes you think he speaks English?
I think I could render the sentiment in picture book format
Don’t they have WALL up on the northern border?
I’m down with bailout flags
The best way to move the ball in the NFL.
BLEEERGH!!
There’s DK’s weekly drop.
Yep
So, I’m ironically mildly proud of the next D of S.
They have all been stellar.
Oh fuck off ESPN. Santa Clara didn’t send the 49ers packing.
Reversal