Your “The Postponement Has Been Postponed” Monday Night Football Open Thread

Well, you’ve probably heard by now that Tuesday Night Football has morphed into (first ever?) Wednesday Night Football. All it took was a bunch of plucky Ravens team members/staff testing positive for eight days in a row. What kind of hellfire will The Commish unleash on this team after the whole thing blows over? He seems like a petty sorta guy that doesn’t like or want change of any kind. Maybe a fine that would cover any number of costs incurred by moving the game? A draft pick or two? If it is the latter he should bring Thor’s hammer down soon to serve as a lesson (in his mind) to the rest of the teams that perhaps have some dumbass jarhead in their weight room spouting batshit conspiracy nonsense. (some of these folks aren’t well edjumicated) Why yes, I do like to paint with a broad brush.

Fallout:

-How does this affect fantasy leagues? Will the points still count towards your week 12 totals?

-I find it funny that as I type this NFL.com doesn’t have the news up yet. Somebody’s asleep at the monitor!

-Much is being made of poor quarterback play yesterday (the Hill/Hinton combo especially) but there was a shit ton of lousy coaching as well. For my own cheering purposes, the Giants play on extra special teams almost blew the game if not for a desperate tackle on a punt with less than 5 minutes left. As Hippo has noted, dumbasses taking no risks whatsoever in order to get the W seems to be achingly commonplace now.

-The Niners have finished Raising Arizona as a possible place to play. It’s now a go.

-Thanks to some very grateful Lions fans, The Deshaun Watson Foundation has had its coffers added to. A heartwarming gesture, to be sure.

TO THE GAME!

Seahawks/Eagles:

-Both the Cards and Rams pulled out their stumblebum routines yesterday, giving Wilson and Co. an opportunity to tighten things up in the NFC West this evening.

-Maybe we see some Jalen Hurts tonight? The clamor to have him in there keeps rising and rising. “Why is that?”, you ask.

-There’s this boob that goes by the name of Carson Wentz and it sure does look like his time is drawing near. He leads the league in intercepts, (14) fumbles on sacks (7) and dropped intercepts (10). You know what that is, right? That’s when a defender is so astonished at a pass headed his way he muffs it. Either that or a guy playing in the secondary is there for a reason-he’s got the Stone Paws. [pours acid on open wound] Oh, almost forgot, his uncatchable pass rate is 25%.(!) One of every four, folks.

-He might still be passable [snorts] in this game because Oof!, every team that has played Seattle has gone for 300 passing yards, 2 TD’s or both.

-Injury-wise, Ertz has the hook and Chris Carson and his hard-running style is back in after four weeks.

-The Eagles have gotten stingy with wr’s recently and haven’t allowed a TD to that position since week 7. I’ll bet both Lockett and Metcalf break that streak tonight.

What say you about all these shenanigans? Type away my friends.

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Recovery Whiskey

And DK falls on it and doesn’t fumble, game

BrettFavresColonoscopy

It was game before that, if we were being honest

BrettFavresColonoscopy

It’s still anyone’s ball game, and i might win the lotto this week

SonOfSpam

Wasn’t the closing spread 6.5? SHENANIGANS!!!

clint greasewood

yep

Recovery Whiskey

What was the spread

The Maestro

Exactly as planned!

Spur

oh no, Wentz just saved his job.

Game Time Decision

Flail mary.

And go for 2. Wtf

BrettFavresColonoscopy

FUCK YOUR UNDER BET

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Lolololol

SonOfSpam

GREAT PASS BY WENTZ

Doktor Zymm

WOOHOO GARBAGEDOWN

Recovery Whiskey

Hahahah

Spur

Evening Folks. Sounds like I tuned in for the shitting on the Eagles and Wentz.

Game Time Decision

Tya this game will make you wince

Spur

Wentz plans to challenge the score of the games the Eagles lost in court.

King Hippo

If you just throw out all the points the BLACK QB scored…

Spur

Can i steal that for my tweet?

King Hippo

chuh chuh

Recovery Whiskey

And now 300 words about the NFC East. Forget Seattle just held serve for first

Doktor Zymm

Success is not nearly as hilarious as bumbling failure tho

clint greasewood

If Louis Riddick is coming across as over the top about the Eagles its because he is from the Philly Suburbs and was an Executive in charge of personal during the Reid years.

Last edited 3 years ago by clint greasewood
King Hippo

My favoUrite Griese derp, is how he notes the “miscommunication” but it’s always the fault of the blockers/RB/receiver/even Goeddert instead of the one, obvious common denominator

Recovery Whiskey

Who is that dude thats a mega Iggles fan and makes hilarious pissed off videos from his bedroom? I have to see if he’s still active.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

It’s gotta be a kick in the nutsack to Jalen Hurts that the coaches think sticking with this is a better option than you.

Doktor Zymm

Probably better than the actual kicks in the nutsack he would get behind that O-line

Gumbygirl

Griese is a Wentz apologist. Whadddadouche!

King Hippo

oh yeah, he’s been sucking him off so hard (all night), you’d think he’s Brady or at least Vikings-era Favre…

SonOfSpam

Does Griese know this Wentz can’t get him Fallout Boy tix?

Gumbygirl

He plays like a Bengal.

Game Time Decision

Naw, Greece is just proof that the NFL concussion protocol works

SonOfSpam

Good play. Go for half on 4th and 31, then 5th down is more manageable.

Recovery Whiskey

If he hauls that in he has green grass and 1 man to beat for the first.

Game Time Decision

Its 3rd and 30. Why are you throwing the ball to a receiver behind the line of scrimmage?

Mr. Ayo

To avoid an interception?

King Hippo

the combined #StableGenius that is Pedersen/Wentz

King Hippo

picked up -1 on 3rd and 30.

King Hippo

NFL BLITZ!!! time, is WCS still up?

WCS

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Game Time Decision

2nd and 30. Muhahahahaha

Sharkbait

It’s SOMEDAY Night Football!

NBC barely has to change the theme

SonOfSpam

Excellent.

Mr. Ayo

I’ve been waiting all someday for someday night!

Game Time Decision

Waiting all day for the night

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Seriously, I’ve seen colonoscopies with a better touch

SonOfSpam

Um…how many colonoscopies have you seen?

SonOfSpam

Well he’s all acting like King of Sphinctercam and I want him to know he ain’t all that.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Or am I? Do you want to challenge my throne?

SonOfSpam

I’ve installed a toiletcam in your master bathroom. Don’t test me.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You’ve got the brown eye of the tiger

SonOfSpam

And you’ve got some fissures that could use medical attention. I’ll send some stills with highlights and arrows.

Doktor Zymm

The Brown Ring Doorcam

Doktor Zymm

I found a copy of Wentz’s playbook:

too.jpg
SonOfSpam

SUN SPERM FOREHEAD HUT HUT

Doktor Zymm

The two minute drill:

tmd.jpg
Doktor Zymm

And his receiver progression:

cd.jpg
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Holy Shit, Tavaris Jackson is still in the league? Did the Broncos know that?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oh wait, he’s dead. Some other guy is wearing #7 for Seattle and google didn’t know that.

Recovery Whiskey

Geno Smith

The Maestro

TEBOW!!!!111!!!one!!

The Maestro

Completely apropos of nothing: anyone remember Sam Bradford? I’m not convinced he was even real in the first place.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

As real as the state of Oklahoma.

So real but worthless.

Recovery Whiskey

He lit up UW and I was there in person. Last time he was any good though

Doktor Zymm

Pfft, he played in some city that doesn’t even have an NFL team

Recovery Whiskey

We figured out these refs call PI easily

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Who is calling the plays for Seattle? A lot of complicated counters, traps, bootlegs, and straight dropbacks up 20-9 against a garbage fire team?

Recovery Whiskey

Schottenheimer’s kid, also named Schottenheimer.

SonOfSpam

Ciara. MAKE RUSS WORK FOR IT.

WCS

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

That was a terrible throw

–Kendall Hinton

SonOfSpam

He threw it too far Outside

-S.E. Hinton

The Maestro

I retract my earlier comments. This is hilarious!

WCS

My bad, coach.

Mr. Ayo

Dakotaception!

Recovery Whiskey

Sudden Dramatic Reversal!

The Maestro

I see I’ve missed a riveting game thus far.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The fact that this team is a division contender is a lovely confirmation of how terrible the NFC Least is

Doktor Zymm

Someone should tell Wentz that an overthrown ball and an underthrown ball don’t actually average out to anything approximating a catch

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What makes you think he speaks English?

Doktor Zymm

I think I could render the sentiment in picture book format

Viva La Tabula Raza

Don’t they have WALL up on the northern border?

Doktor Zymm

I’m down with bailout flags

Recovery Whiskey

The best way to move the ball in the NFL.

Mr. Ayo

BLEEERGH!!

Mr. Ayo

There’s DK’s weekly drop.

Recovery Whiskey

Yep

Senor Weaselo

So, I’m ironically mildly proud of the next D of S.

Gumbygirl

They have all been stellar.

Sharkbait

Oh fuck off ESPN. Santa Clara didn’t send the 49ers packing.

Recovery Whiskey

Reversal