Boy, that first slate was uninspiring wasn’t it? [is typing this at 6am] Perhaps we’ll have better luck this time around?
TO THE GAMES!
Rams/Cards:
Since their bye week the Rams have switched things up and thrown the 3rd-most amount of times and Kupp should be the primary beneficiary because Arizonny doesn’t defend the slot very well. Goff also does well against this division rival-last year he averaged 300 yards and 2.5 TD’s. Kyler is trying to play thru a shoulder ouchie and it has inhibited his ability to… run? He’s only had 10 carries for 46 yards the last 2 weeks.
Giants/Seahawks:
The Good? Rook o-lineman Andrew Thomas’ pass-blocking has steadily improved over the last month. [visions of Ereck Flowers have danced thru Giants fan’s heads] The Bad? For today’s game the lb unit is awash in UDFA’s, practice squadders and last round rookie picks. The Even More Bad? Qb fill-in Colt McCoy can’t make some of the basic longer throws required at his position. He’s that type that rainbows his passes to a spot on the field and prays that the wr runs under it before the cb/safety does. Guh. D.K. should have himself another good day, ain’t matter who defends him.
Eagles/Packers:
Speaking of long shots, I can’t help thinking that although Adams will get his, Rodgers will be looking for MVS at some point. Why? His 6’4″, 205 frame will be matched up against either Maddox (5’9″, 185) or Robey-Coleman (5’8″, 180). Jump Balls Ahoy, Matey! Rb Sanders will likely do well given that the Packers run D has given up an average of 101.1 yards per game to the opposing lead back over the last 3 games.
Pats/Chargers:
When you think about exploitable pass defenses the Pats don’t usually come to mind but if you’re a qb that likes to take deep shots, (like a certain acne-ravaged rook qb) only ATL and Detroit give up a higher percentage of completed passes. If you’re shopping for a safe, boring floor as far as rb’s are concerned look no further than Damien Harris. Since week 4 he’s fifth in rushing yards but 6 spots have been hard to come by. The dynamic runner that was ahead of Josh Jacobs on the Balallama depth chart has, under the supervision of Belichick, been turned into a dumb plodder. This further reinforces my theory every time someone puts on a Pats jersey they die a little inside-it could be physically or mentally or ethically but it happens.
Give it your best down below.
The Yankees are leading the Mariners 8-5. I love a high scoring baseball game!
This ski race is in Finland and the winner, (Shiffrin finished 2nd), get to feed a baby reindeer. This is now the second best trophy in sports, behind only the Stanley Cup.
The only thing this late window has going for it is Sassy Ref.
MVS, showing why Devante is, and shall eternally remain, A.A. Ron’s only friend.
THAH FACKIN’ GREATRIOTS!!!!
Oh, Grumblelord is gonna be hard enough to cut glass at the half.
10 point swing there. Wow
one might question the wisdom in trying a 58+ yarder, down 21-nil, with a shitty kicker
McCarthy is coaching for two teams!?
hey, he’s big enough amirite???
To assistant ‘Get the MILFs in the spread y formation’.
I don’t think Clippers du Merde watch much advance tape.
Too busy trying to avoid their medical staff.
Did doctors have to remove Wayne Gallman from the game? Supposedly you can live a normal, healthy game without one but, man…
Mikaela Shiffrin, best women’s skier in the world, is going to ski soon on NBC.
Probably dressed a little more warmly than this.
When she gonna return those hands to their rightful owner?
MY HANDS ARE BIGGER!!!
–The President.
-Don T.
Mannish hands! 13/10 MARRY MEEEEEEEE
I’m absolutely comparing my hands to hers, and I am not doing well.
She could crack nuts with those thighs.
Why do you think so many of her exes now sing soprano?
I don’t think she skips leg day.
I think every day is leg day for her.
Continuing saga that is The Zane Diaries
My decision to start the Seattle defense against the Giants back-up QB seems sound so far.
/Seahawks give up 42 unanswered second-half points.
Sat Kamara in Freezer Vodka league and it’s working out so far.
Nonetheless running over your neighboUr?
Thinking about just drinking til passing out, and joining the Hawks offense
TonyanDown!
Eagerly awaiting the “only 5-0 score in history” updates
Not Scorigami:
https://www.pro-football-reference.com/boxscores/197810220buf.htm
Why has Seattle’s offense gone stagnant? Wilson get ED after a decade of banging?
Or he had the COVIDs and now has the ED
His throws look off. guessing maybe injury we didn’t hear about. he is missing stuff he normally hits.
Second week in a row they’ve flagged Wilson for throwing it away too well
Rrrrrammit!
Need the over.
Just got back from helping a friend move in with his “significant other”, as I guess we call them after age 50, and I let them both know that they need to make this work, because I’m not helping anyone move ever again.
Now for some football, beer, and dick jokes.
Look, if you’re older than 20-something? You should make enough moneys to hire help for this shit.
He’s broke, (long stories), and if I didn’t help he was going to try to make the move with only the SO helping and he would absolutely have died trying.
Have you ever considered gutting him and putting him out of his misery? Just an thought.
And I bet there’s a certain Ontarion who could help in that respect!
If he asks me to help him move again I’m dming you his address and schedule.
That makes you a really good friend
as I am constantly reminded here, pretty much everyone is WAY nicer than me
“significant other” is an ageless copout. That doesn’t change the fact that you should never, ever help them move again.
The only move help i will ever do now, is helping to move food from the kitchen to the table.
As a wise man once said “I’m too old for that shit”
5-nil at the half!
Seahawks could have recovered for a touchdown, instead opt for the more difficult safety
Seattle safety. Hahahaha
AVIATION FUEL CAN’T MELT STEEL BEAMS AND MASKS CAN’T STOP CORONA FROM THE NOSE
He wears filters in his nose to keep out the governments mind controL gas from the chemtrails and they are n95 complaint.
SeaTruthers need to fair catch free kick!
Also, the correct hashtag for Jets fans this year clearly must be #abhorrenceforlawrence.
Ummm
Sounds familiar, don’t it?
I have a sense of deja vu.
All over again! That’s ok, great minds think alike!
I see this now. There’s a reason that I never learned how to read. That way, I never have to admit I’m wrong.
You are never wrong! That’s why they call you The Maestro!
Oh thats good
Did somebody accidentally put some black socks in the Rams’ uniform laundry?
It’s the same mystery substance that was trickling down Rudy’s face.
found a funny:
Release the vaccine in vape form and I promise no one will ask what is in it
As someone fading Aaron Jones, really appreciated A.A. Ron’s stubborn insistence that his only friend ever get the score.
Unless you speaking of other league, with my D/ST and kicker done, you’ve already overcome my strength. I still rue the Dolphy trick play, but solid nonetheless.
stubbornly staying in the 60/40 range, though. I needed one more Magic Undies score (and he gave me a fumbre instead)
Put not your faith in Yahoo estimates, put them instead in common sense
I want to see an escalating tank-off between the Jets and the Jaguars. Like, by Week 17 I fully expect to see the Jags starting a Make-A-Wish kid at quarterback.
How do you think Touch o Downs got his start?
I miss catchy tanking slogans, like “suck for luck” and “scoff for goff’
Trail for Trevor?
Fail This Endeavor for Trevor
Oooh, good rhyme!
Abhorrence for Lawrence?
Allow torrents (of points) for Lawrence?
“Into the sewer for Penei Sewell!”
-Bungles
FYI – the softcore gallery is being updated at random. I’ve tossed in a few gifs and shit for halftime.
h
ttps://pixxxels.cc/gallery/16XMGkX
Is Tonyan a member of the Allium family?
Much like the hook in boxing, catches are just violent hugs
“A Kiss With A Fist” was really about play-action passing ,, ppl forget that
And “Raging Bull” was about a frustrated slot receiver they were trying to convert into a tight end
Congrats to random Eastern European TD, and congrats to the commentators for pronouncing his name!
That UDFA lb I was yakking about? He’s got two recovered fumble in 2 games.
Wilson dropped the plate
Hawks doing the thing of dominating stats but not scoring. Thats a winning plan right
Lifelong Hawks fan on radio said, “Seahawks win but take the Giants and the points. Trust me.”
“Buying time for the QB so he can throw it fucking nowhere”
That describes at least half the offenses.
“We’ll wash down the Skyline Chili with Kentucky Single Malt.”
Thank you, ESPN, for the menu idea!
Jamal Adams looks recovered finally. Comment should’ve been further up
Evan Engram. Name a tight end with lousier hands. YOU CAN’T!
Luke “Dickfingers” Willson
Whichever fat eligible receiver is next to the Bengals OT?
From reading Rotowire, it seems that every Gigantes supporter just hates Engram. Es verdad?
The two fan sites that I click on the most tend to agree that the coaching staffs that he’s played under have no clue how to use him. He’s got 4.43 speed and is never used to stretch the field. I agree. He’s a weapon but he’s employed as a run of mill tight end.
So you think he might do better as a Jordan Reed style TE? (Although hopefully without the concussions of course)
He’ll never thrive in a Giants O. The last three OC’s have been bland and conservative.
Still can’t believe Donks hired Shurmur to coach Horse Cock Lock
Is this the issue with the Giants in the past few years? I’ve honestly been having issues figuring out why they’ve been as bad as they have been, and lack of adaptability fits, though is kind of unexpected given they jettisoned Coughlin and Eli, so wouldn’t expect an attachment to stability after that
67 yr-old GM drafted Saquon 2nd overall expecting that a run-first O was gonna be the future of the franchise. Nothing ever changes.
Fair I guess, and very very NFC East…..not bad to have a solid run, but can’t be the only thing, smh
Major turnaround!
“Yes sir!”
-Captain Fuckup
McCoyception!
Wentz’s goal for each game is just to survive. He knows that his ginger moustache bodes poorly for afterlife prospects
…
Huzzah!
“If he dies I don’t have to pay him, right?” – “Diaper” Don T, Washington D.C.
I like to think he has some sort of “Fuck You Pay my Estate” clause in his contract
Like he’s gonna pay him under any circumstance, lol.
beat me to it!
Not an adequate sacrifice to the gods.
While I’m sure nothing can top the lulz of the last few minutes of the Raiders/Jest game, the Rams are wearing their dirty laundry uni’s. Always good for a chuckle.
Should be sponsored by Febreeze
For me its their shiny, shiny numbers
They look like that puff art stuff they used to sell. Like Shrinky-dinks, you put it in the oven.
Seattle already on the board.
Lockett out for Hawks. Into the tent
Injury timeouts are how I like to start games.
.
Um …
Picked the Seahawks in Survivor with $300 American bucks on the line. GO GIANTS, BUT NOT QUITE ALL THE WAY!