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Political talk has died down so WE ARE BACK to recapping the best comments of the week!
As a reminder, this post will cover comments made up to and through the Saturday Night Open Thread. Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.
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DFO Comments O’ The Week!
So much bad football. I can’t wait to watch again next Sunday.
monty this seems strange to me
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At Clemson, a degree in Classical Greek is sleeping with Coeds from all the sororities and partying at all the fraternities. And able to say the Greek alphabet.
ArmedandHammered
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I’ve got the news on and just heard someone say “the question is when does a needle go into someone’s arm” and somewhere Todd Marinovich’s ears are burning.
/gets sued by RTD for copyright infringement
Horatio
“Arm?”
-Jose Canseco
monty this seems strange to me
Right? My understanding is that all pricks go in the butt.
Balls
[shakes her head in exasperation] – Balls’ high school sex education teacher
RTD
Pictured: Balls staying after school for extra credit.
Horatio
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Hobo lust, the forbidden lust.
Litre_cola
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I still get credit for longest Banner tenure, right? Like how Sylvester McCoy and Paul McGann were still considered The Doctor even though the series got cancelled and the FOX TV movie didn’t picked up as a series?
Redshirt
Nobody gets that reference, virgin.
SonOfSpam
NERRRRRDDDDDD!!!!!
Dunstan
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UM WHO ELSE HERE DOES NOT TRUST THE FOOTBALL TEAM’S MEDICAL STAFF WITH ALEX’S SMITH REMAINING GOOD LEG?
hippofant
I wouldn’t trust them with a reasonably fresh corpse, much less any part of an actual, living person
Doktor Zymm
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The Virginia Military Institute took down their statue of Stonewall Jackson today, marking the second time Jackson was taken down by southern military.
Horatio
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He coached youth sports for 3 years and kills hobos for fun. That’s not a coincidence.
Horatio
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Some people are calling me a super genius for benching Antonio Gibson this week, but frankly, I’m just your average down home every day normal genius, thank you very much.
herodotus450
The voices in my head think that the voices in your head are full of shit.
scotchnaut
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I HAVEN’T SEEN A TRAP GAME CALLED THAT CORRECTLY SINCE VIVA LA TABULA RASA TOLD US ABOUT THAT PORT VISIT IN THAILAND
LemonJello
HER LAST NAME WAS DONG. HOW DID I MISS THAT?
scotchnaut
I would like to open a stripper/rub and tug called Thigh-land. Great fried chicken out back too.
Litre_cola
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“Polish Fullback” sounds like an option at Litre’s Thigh-Land rub-n-tug joint.
LemonJello
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I had a massive dose of D, too. Turns out, I’m not gay, though. Just slutty.
TheRevanchist
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This is the kind of professionalism holding the backend of this place together.
blaxabbath
backend
Just throw up the Balls signal, whydontcha?
LemonJello
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JONATHAN: I wanna eat Derek’s brain.
That would make for the saddest zombie since The Cranberries’ tribute concert.
SonOfSpam
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found a funny:
Just give people the COVID vaccine in a hotdog and I promise you no one will ask what it contains.
rockingdog
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You can tell Lamar is playing like shit cause he just tossed a floater.
tundrajim
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I’m familiar with Shank’alor and Gamblor. Are there more DFO deities that I should be aware of? and is Lord Lazerface considered a fertility god?
clint greasewood
There’s DOINK, god of hit goalposts.
LemonJello
Orlovskor, God of safeties.
Mr. Ayo
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Sweet! I can see who my friends are!
And fill out the enemy list.
Mr. Ayo
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The Cowboys last possession ended on Downs, which is usually why all of Sam Darnold’s possessions end.
Horatio
Ah, the old 3rd-on-21 situation.
The Maestro
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My office Xmas party is over Zoom on Friday. We can spend $70 on food and apparently one drink, and get comped.
Gonna buy two hot dogs and a $65 bottle of bourbon.
Horatio
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It’s dead at work. My people got the talk today, anyone asks “you’re very busy” but “can fit in some time” to help anyone. Told them that and dont use the company laptop to web browse the next 6 weeks. bring in a tablet or own laptop.
Spur
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Nailed It!
– B. Walsh
Mr. Ayo
Do you have that in a document and just cut and paste as needed?
ArmedandHammered
The sharp eyed of you will notice there are very subtle differences.
Otherwise WordPress gives me a duplicate message error.
I am a dedicated, experienced, and professional commenter.
Mr. Ayo
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At this point I’m just watching to see if Fozz shows up naked and painted purple and sprints across the field.
Horatio
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Thurl Ravenscroft sang the original Grinch song AND voiced Tony the Tiger.
In conclusion, Bethlehem is a land of contrasts.
SonOfSpam
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Best Christmas song is Father Christmas by the Kinks and if you deny that, well you are worse than a flat earther.
ArmedandHammered
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Jeez, another DFO Sausage Fest — I can’t watch.
— O. von Bismarck (maybe)
Downfield Matriculator
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Little bags of mystery are also what I call my testicles
BFC
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Every time I watch the Grubhub gymnastics commercial, I get an sudden urge to punch the bearded guy in the face very hard. Is that normal, or is my dormant Republican tendencies picking something up?
Redshirt
“Punch the hippie douche” is maybe the last thing that all across the political spectrum can agree on.
King Hippo
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I’m pitching The Masked Penis to Fox. So far, things are looking good.
jjfozz
Are you going for a soft pitch or are you going balls out?
Redshirt
Shaft, head, balls, pubes, the whole deal
jjfozz
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Dear Bold Clues Quarterly Forum:
“It’s such a cliche but here goes. I never thought it would happen to me but just last Sunday I was raking my lawn, stuffing all the leaves into bags when a scruffy 50-something gentleman with a stick/bindle over his shoulder appeared out of nowhere. He asked me if I wanted a helping hand. I giggled to myself, not believing my incredible luck and said, “Sure, I would love a hand, as well as a foot and maybe an ear.” He cocked his head to the side and started on his way but I said, “Could you use fifty bucks?”. He turned around and said, “Sure can”. Long story short-I’m positive the perennials in the flower bed in the backyard are going to be awesome next year and for many years to come.”
scotchnaut
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In my personal head-canon, I assume that Aaron Rodgers really does hang around with his State Farm agent because he thinks it gets him a discount, while Mahomes just does it because he’s a nice friendly guy.
Dunstan
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I may need to make a personal resume on Wednesday. I tend to be very quiet about me.
Joliet Jake Delhomme
I think you should put “Posts Females in Various States is Of Undress on a Football Dick Joke Blog” on it.
JimU
References: A Bunch Of Invisible Friends On A Dick Joke & Football Blog, One Of Whom May Be A Serial Killer.
Horatio
Prep for the interview. When they ask you “What’s your passion?”, answer “Following orders”. “Biggest weakness?” “Spandex cheetah print”.
Don T
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Found a funny:
Him: Did you adopt your dog?
Me: No, he’s my biological dog.
Mr. Ayo
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[yawns, leisurely scratches crotch]
“Mornin’, folks”
scotchnaut
No, Scotchy, your *own* crotch.
monty this seems strange to me
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I once dated a 6’3″ waitress for awhile and my nickname for her was “Skybox”.
/never shared that with her, believe it or not
scotchnaut
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Have a wonderful week, everyone! Thanks for the funny and stay safe!
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